Weird Comic Notion...

Ragnell and I were talking about Cowgirl the other day. The Green Lantern character, I mean. Ragnell dislikes her, I rather enjoy her. And the discussion kind of looped around to her similarities to Zinda Blake.

And I had the random thought that if I were writing comics, I would totally try to make her Zinda's granddaughter or something, with the idea being that Zinda had a kid and gave it up some time before she became time lost. (For the record, Zinda would totally be the rockin'est Grandma ever!)

And then of course, there'd be a brand new Blackhawk team with Cowgirl as Lady Blackhawk and Zinda as the mentor/commander figure. Because it would entertain me. And Zinda can never have enough panel time, in my opinion. :-)

Ragnell hates the idea of course, but I'm trying to win her over with the notion that it'd be very unlikely that Cowgirl would remain in Green Lantern banging Hal if she were doing all the fun Blackhawk type missions. She's not buying into it though.

Oh well. *I* think it'd be fun. :-)

It's that time again!

The ISB is having its 30 Second Recap Contest!

I'm totally going to enter, even though I don't know what I'm gonna do yet. But it's fun!

This was my entry for last year. For the record, I don't have a mouse, so it was all done by touchpad. Getting that level of suckiness on a touchpad is a lot harder than it sounds!

Gotta start brainstorming. Hope you all enter too!

Request!

I'm in the mood for a mystery. As usual, my non-superhero comic repetoire is really limited. So if anyone can recommend me a good comic book mystery story, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Meme Answers

Edited, because I was too dumb to c/p my list!

1. Horatio Caine (CSI Miami)
2. Aaron Hotchner (Criminal Minds)
3. Charlotte Pitt (Anne Perry)
4. Sanderson Hawkins (DC Comics)
5. Guy Gardner (DC Comics)
6. Nick Fury (Marvel)
7. She-Hulk (Marvel)
8. Counselor Deanna Troi (Star Trek: the Next Generation)
9. Alex Eames (Law and Order: Criminal Intent)
10. the Sorceress (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe)


Okay, hopefully we'll get some entertaining results here.

LurkerWithout asks:

1, 2, 3, 5 and 7 form a government. Who does what?

Eek. That's some government. I guess Hotch would end up the President, he's got the most leadership experience except for perhaps Horatio, but he tends to get along better with people in other organizations/over his head. Also, he's better at the smackdown.

Horatio would probably be in charge of law enforcement, while She-Hulk can be the head of the judicial system, on account of their respective experience.

Charlotte can be the vice president. She's pretty, clever, and combines earnest forthrightness with diplomatic charm. She can also get lots of information covertly and pass it along to her husband, who likely works for Horatio or the President. (They're kind of a package deal.)

Guy would be the whistle blower of course. He'd keep everyone else honest through the sheer force of his kvetching. :-)

2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 start a basketball team. Who plays what position?

I know absolutely nothing about baseball. But I guess: Hotch gets to be the pitcher, Sand the catcher, Deanna's the Umpire, the Sorceress is the short-stop, and Nick Fury is the team manager.

Anyone who knows more about baseball, feel free to correct me. :-)

1 was in love with 6 but has an affair with 4. Why? What does 6 do when they find out?

Ooo. Sordid. Well, given that this is Nick Fury, whatever happens will undoubtedly be priceless. Of course, Sand is a sand-monster and Horatio's made of teflon, so it'll have to be creative.

Huh, maybe he'll manage to plant the idea that Sand's another one of Horatio's long lost kids. Sure, it won't take long for the DNA and Carbon Dating to prove that Sand's a) quite a bit older than Horatio and b) made of sand, but the expressions on their faces would be very entertaining.

Sean Gaffney asks:

If 3 and 7 have to fight with one sitting on the other's shoulders, who's the one on the bottom and who's on top, and why?

Well, Charlotte's a Victorian ex-society lass and She-Hulk's a giant green powerhouse, so I'm thinking She-Hulk's on the bottom. They'd actually be a fairly good team, I'd reckon. :-)

R.Nav asks:

3 and 7 have had their minds swapped due to some dastardly plan. How does 9 save the day?

Eames would probably team up with Charlotte's husband to figure out the problem and find the dastardly evil-doers and make them reverse it via dry wit and sarcasm. And possibly fisticuffs. (Eames might have to shoot one of them, but the others'll give up.)

10 needs a partner for TAG TEAM THUMB WRESTLING. Who?

Probably She-Hulk or Sand. Shapeshifters make awesome thumb wrestlers.

6, 8, 4 are actually Skrulls. Out of the rest, who figures it out?

Honestly...with this batch, the better question is who wouldn't figure it out. :-) I mean, Horatio's a CSI, Hotch is a Profiler, Eames is a detective adept at following evidence, Guy has a nifty scanning ring, Troi's an Empath, the Sorceress has magic. Any of them would probably figure it out, I'd reckon.

She-Hulk's got a lot of experience with skrulls, so I guess it'd depend on who's writing her. :-P

Charlotte's probably least likely to figure it out but since her talents do tend to revolve around getting people to talk to her, it's possible that she might be able to innocently get one to get over-confident and slip up. But you never know...

1 is ordering chicken. Original recipie or extra crispy?

I think Horatio's a classicist. Original recipe all the way.

Neil asks:

Grant Morrison writes #5. What wacky Silver Age concept attributed to that character (or, if a modern character, what Silver Age concept could fit said character) does he revive?

Guy Gardner's already a wacky Silver Age concept! :-) His whole two appearances before the Crisis, that is! I think he might do something with Guy's original story, with the alternate universe where Hal wasn't chosen first as Green Lantern. There's still a lot of potential with that idea.

Geoff Johns writes #10. What messed up continuity surrounding #10 does he try to explain in mind-blowing fashion?

Oooo! I know, he'll rewrite/revise the origin of the Sorceress, straightening out and establishing more mythos around the Elders and Greyskull itself, and the founding of Eternia. He'd also tie in Teela's birth, the identity of her father and how Man-At-Arms REALLY fits in!

Also, he might do a side thing with the arrival of Marlena's space craft (also the origin of Evil-Lyn and someone I can't remember, according to the series bible!)

I'd love it, but there'd still be folks complaining about "Continuity Porn". :-P

Frank Miller writes #2. The Internet cracks in half because of what he did to #2. What did he do?

Oh, dear lord. Aaron Hotchner by way of Frank Miller. The normal version is a fairly quiet straightless, nigh-emotionless fellow who nonetheless spends most of his time caring for the team and doing, well, mom stuff behind the scenes. He tends to do things like apologize for the other characters (usually Gideon), worry about their emotional states and clean blood off the wall. He's adept with the verbal smackdown and never raises his voice.

There'd be a lot less quiet stoicism, that's for damn sure. His wife would turn into a treacherous hooker. Gideon into a jaundice-stricken pervert. He'd suddenly start banging JJ, Prentiss and Garcia like there's no tomorrow. His mentorly relationship with Reid would end up scary, with likely kidnapping and rat-eating.

There would be a lot more rampant violence. Instead of talking people down and shooting them when that fails, there'd be a lot more violence. And gratuitous cursing. And shouting. And he'd hate everybody else. And probably be a scary vigilante a.la the comic book writer in the episode that totally lampooned Frank Miller. Hee. Maybe he'll wear the trenchcoat.

Uh-oh, Guy Gardner catches #7 putting the moves on Ice. What does Guy do?

Guy catches She-Hulk hitting on Ice. Um. Yeah. I think he'd be very happy...euphemistically speaking. Heh.

#8 falls through a cosmic thingie and lands in another company's universe. What character(s) from that other company's universe do they get along with? What characters do they rub the wrong way?

Hmm, I think Deanna would probably suit the DCU a bit better than Marvel. Then again, she might enjoy being a member of SHIELD. She's got the military background, so to speak, and they're short a shrink since Faustus mind-whammied Sharon Carter. She's also used to working with strong-willed charismatic men. She'd probably get along fairly well with almost everyone. Especially Jarvis. For some reason, I think it'd be funny to see her clash with Dr. Doom.

In the DCU, she could possibly work in Checkmate. She's always been surprisingly good in espionage type episodes, like when she pretended to be the Romulan. Empathy would be very useful in that field. She'd probably get along with folks like Superman or Alan Scott. Though I could see Batman being like Jellico and bitch about her wearing stupid jumpsuits. :-P The Wall would HATE her. Hee.

Diamondrock asks:

#7 and #9 just totally start making out in front of you. How do you react?

Huh, well, She-Hulk and Eames... It's not really my cup of tea, so I'd discreetly turn my head while planning which of my straight/bi male or gay/bi female friends I'd totally pass the info along to later. Heh.

Erich asks:

9 is retconned into being responsible for 4's origin. How does this work, and how pissed-off are they about it?

...um. Wow. Okay. Eames is a modern day detective somewhere around 35/40 years old. Sandy's a sand monster from the forties...

Since we know enough of Eames's history to know she's not a Highlander-esque Immortal, (too many folks know her dad), I'd guess time travel would have to be involved. Maybe she ends up back in time and adopted by Dian as her sister. Then she gives birth and returns to the future, leaving Dian to raise the brat...

Hey, that works surprisingly well! She'd probably be okay with having a kid, but pissed off retroactively at Wes and Dian for being crappy parental figures and turning him into a sand-monster, among other things.

Ragtime asks:

You are given a full spectrum of the seven new Green Lantern "Rainbow Rings." No list members can be assigned any rings that they currently possess. How do you divide your seven Rainbow Rings among your ten list members?

(You can exclude three, or some can share. Your choice.)

Hmm, okay. Well, Guy gets violet (love) of course, for reasons I giggle about here.

Hotch gets the yellow ring, because the man's fucking scary sometimes. :-)

Charlotte gets orange (avarice), because she does tend to be oriented toward possessions sometimes. While she doesn't seem to regret marrying Pitt and her step down in society, I think she'd be happiest if she could have him and her status too. (Truthfully, she'd be better with green, but I have an orange ring to give away, and that's what I get for picking all good guys.)

Counselor Troi and the Sorceress can share indigo (Compassion), though if I had to choose one, I think the Sorceress is more suited to the monastic lifestyle.

Horatio doesn't get angry often, but when he does it's something special. The man does hate and hate well, so he gets red (hate/rage).

Alex gets the green ring, since she's courageous, brave and remarkably strong willed. She's probably a bit too sensible, truthfully, to be a Green Lantern, but well, she can be the aberration.

Hmm, I'm not sure who'd be best for the blue ring (hope). I think I'll give it to Nick Fury though. Mostly because I think the Marvel Universe will start fixing itself as soon as he's back in command of SHIELD. I think he'd twitch at the idealistic implications too. :-)

Sandy and She-Hulk don't get rings. But honestly, I don't really think they need them. :-)

Rob S. asks:

6, 3, 8 and 9 form a rock band. What instruments do they play? What kind of music? Do they have any success? Are any of the other numbers fans?

Hmm, I think Eames is the guitarist, Charlotte the drummer, and Deanna the keyboardist. Fury would be their sleazy manager. They'd play either alternative rock or Go-Go esque girl-punk. Sand and She-Hulk would be fans.

Zaratustra asks:

#4 meets #5. They have a fight. Why?

Then they team up to fight a common enemy. Who?

Huh, a team up that could actually happen! I would guess the fight would be something like one of them being mind-controlled, or possibly temporarily insane during outside influence.

I'd like to see them team up to fight Johnny Sorrow. Mostly because I think Guy would enjoy punching the crap out of Johnny Sorrow. Failing that, possibly the Quorum decides that it wants to experiment on/dissect Sand.

Ami asks:

Teh Anti-Monitor shows up and starts eating universes (assuming they dun all come from the same universe xD) and b/c he's feeling especially fat lately he decides to eat the universes that will provide the most nutritional value first, what order would he eat them in? :D

Hmm, depending on nutritional value, huh...

I guess I'd go Criminal Minds (well-written, small portions), Anne Perry (well-researched, interesting sub-themes), Law and Order (dry and sensationalistic, but interesting...the SVU branch probably gives it a bit too much cholesterol though), Star Trek (silly but ground breaking and occasionally deep themes), DC Comics (oldest franchise, vintage like fine wine. Braincell killing like most alcohol. :-P), Marvel Comics (I think it's probably a bit stronger proof than DC, slightly more braincell killing :-P), He-Man (cotton candy of my universes)

and as the least nutritional value:

CSI. :-P I think ALL the CSIs are pretty sensationalist and cheesy, but CSI Miami takes it a whole new level. CSI:M is the pinnacle of unhealthy, give you a heart-attack first bite type universe that would probably rot even the brain of the anti-monitor.

Assuming he eats the first 2 universes (and however many chars reside in them) before nebody can react, would the remaining chars put up a decent fight and defeat him before theirs are eat too? How would they defeat him if they do? :o Who gets the heroic death? Who gets sent into the paradise from which there is no escape save punching a Jason Todd-resurrecting crystal wall?

Well, honestly, Criminal Minds and Anne Perry are my most nutritional franchises, but they don't really have my most powerful characters. Even if Hotch is totally the man.

Mostly though, since the DCU is one of my franchises and they've kicked the anti-monitor's ass, I'm not too worried. :-) They'll defeat him like they did last time.

As for heroic deaths, well, probably the Sorceress. She's a mentor sort and very powerful, and debatably has a successor in the wings. So I can see her pulling a Barry Allen style self-sacrifice. (I'd totally read the series where Teela adjusts to being the new sorceress.)

Hotch, Charlotte and Eames will end up in Paradise. With Hotch most likely to lose it and end up a mistaken crusading Kal-L character when he finally gets out. Heh.

Your 10 characters have to put together a baseball team, who plays what position (including DH)? :D

Didn't I do this one? What's a DH? Oh right. Designated Hitter! Well. That's She-Hulk, definitely. :-)

Okay, well, now that I can use the whole team, I'm scrambling them around some.

Fury's the pitcher, Horatio's the catcher. Guy's first baseman, Hotch is second, Eames is third, the Sorceress is still the shortstop. Sand gets to be the center fielder, while Troi and Charlotte are outfielders. (right and left respectively).

Of course, again, I know nothing about baseball, so feel free to tell me why my positions suck.

3 gives 9 a makeover in preraration for his/her date with 5 who is also getting a makeover by 10. :D How would 9 and 5 look afterwards? Would the date be successful? Would they be happy with the work of 3 and 10?

Hmm, I think Charlotte will be very successful in making over Eames. Charlotte's got all the considerable training in the social arts from her society background. She'd probably set Eames up very elegantly...if old fashioned. I think Eames would balk at the corset, though I think she'll probably enjoy the rest of the outfit since a lot of victorian garments are really pretty. (As long as no one from work sees her in it. :-P)

The Sorceress will make Guy over according to Eternian fashion. I don't think he'll be very happy with it. His time as Warrior aside, Guy seems to enjoy wearing actual clothes, and in fact is one of the few Lanterns to conjure layers. I don't think he'd like the Eternian man-panties.

The date however would probably go well. Eames would have to smack him a few times, but Guy likes when women get annoyed/angry with him. Eames is used to eccentric people and her late husband is also a cop, so she's been involved with law enforcement types. I think if she can put up with his obnoxious surface traits, they'd probably last.

1, 2, 4 and 7 start blogs about issues in comics, what would each blog about? Who's most likely to be the annoying troll? xD Would any likely be linked to WFA? Which blog do you think would be the one you'd most want to read regularly? :D

Huh. Horatio, Hotch, Sand and She-Hulk. I think Horatio would probably be the troll. He's pompous and often obnoxious and I think those traits would be aggravated online. He probably wouldn't ever realize his troll-ness though.

She-Hulk's most likely to blog about gender issues. (So she'll get linked on WFA.) Sand's secretly a smartass, so I can kind of see him having a humorous blog like the ISB or the Absorbascon. Hotch is repressed and very organized, so his would probably be dry academic sorts of review. But since he's a profiler, I bet he does occasionally pop up with fascinating essays about what makes characters tick. Horatio will be one of those tech-expert types who goes into what's plausible technology-wise and what's not. :-)

They'd all be fun to read, but I think Horatio's would be the most fun. I like knowing about errors and what's actually possible.

Pretend your 10 characters are in a fantasy novel. Who is the arch villain who rules over an oppressed land? Who is the true ruler, locked away in his/her dungeons?

Huh, well. I think Horatio gets to be the arch-villain. He'll be the sort that's misguided and actually means well, but the thought of arch-villain Horatio amuses me. The rightful ruler would be Nick Fury of course. Nick Fury is ALWAYS the rightful leader. <3

Who is the fair hero, in love with the captured ruler on a quest to save them? Who is his experienced but vague mentor? Who is the sexy and dashing rogue? Who is the loyal muscle? Of the 4 who might be comic relief? xD

Hmm, I suppose Eames could be the fair hero. I don't actually think a Fury/Eames pairing could work long term, but I'd be willing to see it. The Sorceress was designed to be an experienced and vague mentor! She-Hulk will be the muscle, while Guy Gardner is the sexy, dashing rogue.

Okay, that last one's a bit of a stretch, but what can ya do? Guy'll probably be the comic relief. Maybe Guy and She-Hulk can tag-team the humor. :-)

Back to the remaining chars, who is likely to be the sexy seductress/seducer sent by the villain to lead the hero astray? How does s/he save him/herself?

Hotch is the (reluctant) sexy seducer. (He, like the other villains, is merely misguided.) This is awkward because Hotch is not very approachable or seductive. They'll spend the night talking about law enforcement and criminals. He'll rejoin the villain for the last stand.

Who would join the team only to be revealed as a traitor in a "shocking twist" and why would they have trust him/her in the first place?

Charlotte gets to be the traitor. No one will suspect her because they'll attribute all of her weirdness to being from a hundred years ago. She's also got a knack for getting people to talk to her, they probably won't notice.

Who is the bumbling lackey of the villain?

Poor Troi isn't really bumbling, so much as she keeps telling him what people are feeling when it's obvious. "Lieutenant Caine, these people storming the castle are angry!"

Who is the "guardian beast" that guards the vllain's lair and how is he ultimately slain?

Sand! He's perfect. He won't die, but he probably does get dissolved by the sorceress's magic for a while to get him out of the way.

What ultimately happens? :D

They storm the castle of course, free Nick Fury, convince Horatio that he's misguided (with the help of Hotch who figured out he was on the wrong side when attempting to seduce Eames), and everyone is friends again! Eames will become his prime minister (honestly, the romance probably wouldn't have worked), Horatio, his captain of the guards, Hotch, his spymaster. She-Hulk and Charlotte will go off adventuring together, possibly with Guy in tow, and Sand will become the Sorceress's apprentice. And Deanna will tell us everyone's very happy.

If all your characters entered a comic store (assume a large stock available) with $1000 dollars, what would they come out with? :D Would everybody be happy? :D

Gosh, I have no idea. I don't think Horatio reads comics, but he'd probably buy lots of superhero comics for Eric and Ryan. And maybe something like Cobb for Calleigh. I think Charlotte would like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and maybe Fables. The Sorceress totally reads Dark Horse. Guy'll like Wildstorm. Sand would probably like Vertigo. She-Hulk strikes me as an Image reader. And Marvel of course. :-)

I think Troi would prefer romance manga. And Nick Fury...god knows. Something with lots of espionage and violence...Queen and Country maybe?

Alex doesn't strike me as much of a comics reader either, but I bet she secretly has a thing for Batman. Hotch would buy things for his team, like a Wonder Woman bust for Prentiss, and something Blue Beetle for Reid. Secretly, I think he totally buys Captain America.

I think they'll be happy.

anonymous asks:

3 and 5 have their gender changed by a plot device. How do they react, and what characters are now disturbingly attracted to them?

Oh, poor Charlotte! I think she'd be horrified! And secretly a bit intrigued as to how the other half lives and exploring the other half of the gender divide. Great-Aunt Vespasia will probably be disturbingly complimentary. (Though I suppose it'd be real disturbing if her husband were still attracted. :-P) She's that sort. Guy'll likely be all "Oh, not again." :-)

It should be interesting when Hal sees him. Heh.

1 and 10 are the new creative team for a current Marvel or DC ongoing comic of their choice. Which one is it, what's the critical reaction, and is it a commercial success?

Oh heavens. God, it'd be terrible. Either Horatio writes it and the Sorceress draws, which means everyone speaks with awful one-liners and is scantily clad with weird animal motifs and appearances that befit their names...literally. Or the Sorceress writes it and Horatio draws, in which case all the dialogue is cheesy eighties cartoon and everyone's wearing sunglasses and making stupid poses.

Either way the critics will hate it. Though I think the former, with the lack of clothing, might be a commercial success. :-P

2, 8, and 9 are the stars of DC's next weekly series. What's it about?

Huh, barring the fact that Deanna's from the future and is a half alien empath that works pretty good! I'd guess they'd be some sort of law enforcement team.

Maybe in the future! In a setting ala bladerunner. Eames would make a good hard-broiled private detective. Hotch could be a replicant/robot/whatever. And Deanna would be the sensitive, insightful eye-candy! Perfect!

4, 6, and 7 team up to destroy the world. What motivates them, and who stops them?

I really wish I'd put some villains on this list. I know! Sand is frustrated by lack of panel time, while Fury and She-Hulk have had enough of this skrull nonsense once and for all*.

(Disclaimer: I'm actually enjoying the skrull storyline, the bits I've read anyway.)

They're stopped by the writers promising Sand an actual storyline, and She-Hulk and Fury getting bribed with a pay raise.

Ms_Kinnikufan asks:

1, 5, 6, and 9 are all prostitutes in a brothel.
What is each's "speciality" and who is the most popular?

BWAHAHAHAHA. Worst. Brothel. Ever.

Horatio, Guy, Fury and Eames...goodness.

Well, Guy'd be the kinky S&M masochist I think. He seems to like getting beat up after all and particularly enjoys getting Ice mad enough to yell at him/hit him.

Horatio. *snerk* Oh dear. Well. Whatever he does, I'm sure he does it with aplomb. I'm sure he can do it all, like he does everything on the show.

Fury would send in his LMDs to do everything, thus, they'll be up for anything but water-sports. There might be a short after all.

Eames. Well, honestly, I think she'll do what the mission requires with competence, until she can knock the client out.

Horatio would be most popular, of course! He's Horatio Caine!

10 becomes pregnant (possibly defying medical science) with with 5's quintuplets.
What shennanigins occur?

Well, on the plus side, there isn't likely to be a custody battle? She gave up one spawn, so she's not likely to fight to keep these five since the reason for the giving up remain.

So basically, you'll have Guy balancing kicking ass with raising five offspring. They'll certainly be redheads at least.

I kind of like the idea of them following him around like little destructive chaotic ducklings ready to wreak miniature havoc. Guy will be so proud.

Ice might be a bit annoyed though.

2 decides to become a drag king/queen. What is his/her stage name?

Hmm. Mysteria Rose. It makes sense in my head. (He solves mysteries and has shown a remarkably astute knowledge of flowers. :-P)

8 becomes a sucessful rapper. What is his/her #1 hit?

A rap version of "Feelings".

3, 6, 7, and 10 are all in prison and are plotting to escape. What is their plan?

Hmm, well, let's see. Probably, Charlotte and the Sorceress will distract the guards with feminine wiles, while Nick and She-Hulk knock them out. The Sorceress will get any stragglers by turning into bird form and pecking at them.

kdbryan asks:

Due to wacky comic book science, 6 has their minds permanently switched with 10. Who handles the situation better - 10 or 6?

Hmm, I think the Sorceress would be more put out, ultimately. At first she'd probably like the vacation from the castle, but I think she'd miss the magic and everything. Nick would probably miss his balls, but I think he'd have too much fun messing around with magic and being a bird to mind so much after a while.

And really, his job as Guardian of Castle Grayskull isn't THAT much different than being leader of SHIELD.

On the other hand, not leaving the castle kind of sucks. Maybe he can make more LMDs...

4 vs. 8 to the death - who wins?

Oh gosh, Sand, of course. But it occurs to me that I've always thought the poor boy needed a therapist. So more likely the battle would stop halfway through while she gets him to talk about his childhood.

1, 5, and 9 all have to infiltrate the Hellfire Club in one of three ways - by fighting their way up through the sewer, by posing as an exotic dancer for the inner circle, or by posing as a talented chef on the catering staff. Who gets which job and why?

Well, Guy's the best fighter. So as entertaining as it'd be to make him the dancer, he's more likely to make his way up through the sewer. Eames would be the chef because she'd insist and Horatio's a gentleman. Horatio would, by default, be the exotic dancer. Which is hilarious.

anonymous asks:

The real reason the White Queen runs around mostly naked is because 4 stole her clothing long ago. How will she get revenge?

Hmm, well, he's cute and a bit uptight, which is rather Emma's type...and she HAS spent time in diamond form, so I think she'd seduce him instead and use him for her own personal pleasure.

For revenge, she might make him wear her costume during.

ticknart asks:

#4 and #7 have a race around the world to find the Seven Seals of Sol. Each can choose one partner from the list, who do they each pick? How does each pair travel? Which team wins or does it end with a stalemate?

Hmm. I think Sand would pick the Sorceress, since her headdress reminds him of Hawkgirl. She'd use divination to find the seals. She can only leave the castle in bird form, so she'd probably fly (or remain in the castle) while he sifts through the ground.

I think She-Hulk would team with Guy, because he's useful and entertaining. They'd go ring-express of course, and he might be able to scan out locations.

I think it'd be a stalemate. Unless the rings can't be found via ring/magic. Then I think Sand/Sorceress would have a slightly better advantage if it comes down to figuring out riddles and such. She-Hulk and Guy aren't stupid, but they're not really the patient thinker types...

Jeff asks:

1 and 8 are in the Wacky Races. What sort of car are they driving?

Horatio and Deanna? A shuttlecraft of course!

5 loses a bet and has to cosplay. What would the person pick to torture 5 the most?

Guy dresses like Star Sapphire. Heh.

Zhinxy asks:

7 has a belief or habit that annoys the crap out of 3. What is it?

Oh my word. well, I think She-Hulk's drinking, promiscuous sex, sloppiness, wastefulness and skimpy clothing would all annoy the crap out of Charlotte. But really, it'd probably be when She-Hulk flirts with her husband. Grr.

4 and 9 want to go skating. Who pushes for roller skating, and who pushes for ice skating?

Hmm, I think Eames strikes me as the roller skater and Sand the ice skater. I don't know why. Except that Eames would have been a kid in the seventies when roller rinks were big. And also, I think little Sandy might have idolized Sonja Henie.

I'm a little weird.

1 and 8 go to the beach, what do each of them make out of sand?

Deanna makes a pretty whimsical castle, though she may stop three-quarters of the way through to try to analyze why the heck Horatio built a tiny scale model of the crime lab.

What I want to know is, who ate all the chocolate? And while we are at it, who has been putting things away in the wrong places?

Deanna ate the chocolate of course, with help from She-Hulk. And She-Hulk and Guy are probably the slobs. Though the Sorceress may be the sort to reorganize things on a whim. You start to do things like that when you've been stuck in a castle for twenty-odd years.

In fact, if all ten were to live in a house together, how would things be arranged with daily living and sleeping arrangements and who uses all the hot water and why would they even do that? Is there some kind of prize or are they, in fact, a heroic team of some sorts (Or)?

Well, they are a bunch of heroes, but I think some of them are sensible enough to not want to live where they work, so it's probably some sort of "live together for a span of time for charity" type of thing.

Charlotte and Troi probably share a room, seeing as how both are time-lost (assuming modern time) and Troi's got fairly elegant/old-fashioned sensibilities. Also both know what it's like to go from aristocratic luxury into a different sort of life, with very domineering and formidable older female figures in their lives. :-)

Eames and She-Hulk probably room together. Eames can probably reasonably discuss She-Hulk's more annoying quirks without getting angry or psychoanalyzing. They can share a drink and talk about law enforcement and men and the like.

The Sorceress probably has a roost or something.

Hotch, Horatio and Sandy can probably cohabitate fairly well, and each would be more than willing to take the couch if need be to give everyone a bit more space. Horatio's melodramatic and bombastic, but Sandy and Hotch are both used to being the lowkey support/partner of that sort of individual, so it should work out fine.

Guy and Nick room together and alternately fight and start scheming together. Beware.

They split chores fairly evenly. There's probably an organized chart. Anyone who slacks will get a very calm, polite, request from Hotch to do their assigned duties. And they will. Even Guy and Nick. Because Hotch is kind of scary.

That said, Nick'll probably manage to foist most of his duties onto Guy by tricking him into a poker game.

Oh. And the Sorceress uses all the hot water. She's got feathers, man. Feathers.

----

Whew! That was fun!

Some pictures!

My mother is awesome! Look what she got me for Christmas!



Isn't it great? With a bit of work, I can totally cosplay as Guy Gardner next year!

I mentioned I was on the lookout for a green vest, but I didn't expect her to get one for me! Let alone one that nice! My mom's the greatest!

That's me behind the vest, of course. :-) You will never know what I actually look like! Mwahaha.

Well, actually, since I'm vain and my dad got a digital camera for Christmas, here is me annoying the dog with my giant foot. Now you know what I look like!

I also got, among other things, a copy of the Cater Street Hangman (the series is my new guilty pleasure, but I couldn't find the first one anywhere), the Criminal Minds season 2 set, and a new giant harddrive. Lucky me! <3

I hope your holidays were/are as fun as mine!

(Oh, I'll probably post my answers to the meme tomorrow. :-))

A Meme For Me!

Ami tagged me for a meme!

I'm gonna make a list of 10 characters, it is a secret list. If you want, comment to this post with a question like, "2 and 8 have a dance off, who wins?" and then I answer them in a seperate post and it is the most fun meme ever. And you can ask as many questions as you like.

It sounds fun, so put questions in the replies and I'll answer them in a new post in a few days!

LOOOKIT!

Heheh! Look what Ragnell pointed out to me!



(via)

The sound effects amuse me. And I find the Sinestro voice very impressive. :-)

Happy Holidays!!!

Since it's Christmas, I'm taking the day off blogging!

Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone who celebrates it! And if you don't celebrate it, I hope you have a really good regular day!

Catch you tomorrow!

Nifty!

Oooo, look at this!

If this is true, that'd be awesome! I wonder if it'll be a mini or an ongoing. Either way, that'll mean that Hal has Green Lantern, Guy and Kyle get GLC (and Countdown for Kyle while it lasts) while John'll have this AND JLA!

This would totally make up some for the fact that John was so utterly neglected for so long after OYL!

Awesome!

Surge of Power...

So I spent most of this weekend visiting my ex-roommate and a friend who'd flown in from Hawaii. It was a lot of fun! We spent most of the time (that wasn't spent driving back and forth to Chicago) watching DVDs and netflixed movies.

Anyway one of the things that we watched was Surge of Power, which was a crappy cheesy superhero movie in the vein of many such, horribly acted, ghastly dialogue, ridiculous costumes...

It was beautiful! I loved it!

The lead was charming enough (and a lawyer! Yay for my eventual profession!) and his powers were not TOO overpowered. His weakness was silly (Dance music!) and the encounters with it contrived, but well, it's that kind of movie. Besides, it allowed for the hero to use his wits as well as his powers.

I was particularly fond of the scientist partner/sidekick. He was not only devastatingly hot, but very very resourceful. He's probably my favorite character. He's snarky, witty and at least half of the hero's success can probably be attributed to him.

Also, he managed to save HIMSELF from danger, which is kind of neat.

The villain is entertaining too. Very scenery chewing. His motivation is astoundingly stupid, of course, but that's even more of the fun. He also had a lot of chemistry with the scientist, who was his ex, naturally.

Oh yeah, pretty much everyone's gay in this. :-) Except maybe Lois "Williamson" (Noel Neill guest stars amusingly), though her son more than makes up for that.

Lots of guest stars and cameos. Like Lou Ferrigno! And Nichelle Nichols.

Oh and a nice bit for my inner feminist. Before the lead character gets his powers, there's constant talk about the last superhero the city had seen: the mysterious "Omen". No one seems to be able to agree on Omen's costume, powers or even gender, though most assume he's a man.

We do get to see Omen, and I'm going to spoil it some by revealing that Omen is played by Nichelle Nichols. I don't feel bad about spoiling this because there's so much else to enjoy and be surprised by.

I also think that this is a real selling point of the movie. It would have been so easy for Omen to have been yet another WASPy white man. There's nothing in the role that really is specific to race or gender. But in Big City, the quintessential legendary hero is a black woman. That's awesome. :-)

Otherwise, admittedly, the movie's fairly white-washed. There aren't as many women either, but that's fairly expected as, well, so many of the roles are defined by romantic entanglements with the lead. Since the lead is gay, that rather narrows down the options for female characters. (The role of damsel in distress is played by Lois's son. :-).)

The plot's completely ridiculous in the way that this sort of thing should be. There are plenty of winks and nods to comic book fans. And unlike a lot of these sorts of movies, I didn't get the sense that it was mean-spirited either. It's a genuine love of comic books fueling this movie, I think.

The acting's mediocre, but the characters really do engage in spite of it all. (I, for one, was griping about the natural emergence of the potential love triangle of the storyline. The son of Lois Lane - she'll always be Lois Lane to me- is cute, but I liked the scientist better. And my inner shipper was all "Grr." I had fun.)

It's the sort of thing that you watch to make fun of and enjoy at the same time. I totally intend to buy it.

Though now I'm sad that there's no Surge comic book. I would *totally* read that!

Nifty!

Okay, THIS looks awesome.

A contest to create a superheroine!

This sounds like a lot of fun! We should all try to enter! :-) I know I've got a few ideas!

Sand Appreciation!

Because I can't let my other favorite go unappreciated, here's Sand today to show everyone what sound effect is made when the Rock of Eternity is slammed straight into a villain's cranium...



If anyone guessed THOOOOOOOOM, you're right!

Mr. Terrific ought to feel a little silly though. Warning a sand monster to duck, yeesh.

And as a bonus to this story (JLA/JSA Virtue and Vice, by the way) we get to see Ronnie Raymond strike out.



You know, if you're going to ogle a man's molecular structure, you could at least introduce yourself. You may be an underwear model, but Sand's old fashioned and courtesy goes a long way.

And then there's this bit:



Firestorm seems way too smug about that. "Putty in my hands" indeed. Lech. I KNEW you were ogling his molecular structure.

...
...

Okay, you know what? I'm suddenly feeling the lack of sand monster/molecule-shaping underwear model kinky slash fanfic out there. Hmph.

A Letter to all Nice Guys,

So the nice guy letter's making the rounds again. (Ragnell's got a reaction up here.)

Honestly, I know a lot of guys, many of whom are friends of mine, who at some point or another could have written this letter. They're not bad guys, but they are frustrated and unhappy.

The letter's ridiculous of course and represents some utterly abhorrent statements, but I really think that it's just some guy, someone who probably IS a nice person most of the time, venting his unhappiness. It's sad more than anything else, because I don't think anyone's told this fellow (and so many others) what he really needs to hear.

To All the "Nice Guys" of the World:

I understand your frustration. No one likes feeling marginalized or ignored. No one likes being passed up and overlooked. You're not wrong in feeling upset about that.

I genuinely believe that you are nice, perfectly likeable people most of the time.

But I also know why you can't get a date.

It's a fairly common pattern. Guy sees an attractive girl, gets shot down for someone she likes better. It's a part of life. The trick is then to keep asking until you find the right one.

But sometimes the right one never materializes, right? You ask and ask, and you get nowhere! Ever! And each time, she ditches you for some loser who isn't as nice/smart/handsome/whatever as you!

Of course, it's natural to start resenting the girls. All girls. Because you don't really want to deal with the real problem: you.

Don't get mad. I'm not saying it's because you're not nice enough or not handsome enough or not smart enough. For every girl out there who dumps you for the muscle bound jock or pimply faced nerd or cigarette chomping badboy, there's a girl who would gladly date a guy like you. And every so often, she'll even be a girl who matches up to your tastes as well.

(It is, I'd like to point out, perfectly okay to reject an interested girl who isn't what you're looking for. You have every right to look for particular qualities in a woman, you just have to realize that the more specific qualities you seek, the lower the pool of options...that doesn't mean they're not out there though.)

The problem is by this point, you've scared her away.

It's not your fault, not completely. You're frustrated. That's natural. You missed your shot with a girl because you weren't what she was looking for. That's annoying. It hurts. And it's okay to feel that way. But the thing is, you have to let it go. Because if you don't, we'll see it.

Most people aren't terribly good at hiding their emotions and odds are, you're not either. And we can see that you're frustrated and upset and unhappy. We can see the resentment and bitterness and expectation of failure.

But we're not mind readers. We don't know why you feel this way. We don't know how many girls before us that you've asked out and been shot down. We don't know how lonely you are or how much your confidence has suffered. We don't know that you're scared that once more you'll be turned down flat by someone you'd like to get to know. We don't know that the relationships that you have gotten have turned out badly.

We don't know that you're really, most of the time, this really awesome guy that we'd probably really like if we gave you a chance. We don't know anything about you. We don't know that your bad mood here is just because you're afraid of being turned down flat yet again.

We just know that you seem to be bitter and angry with us for something that we didn't do. And honestly, would YOU want to spend time with someone like that?

And maybe that guy in the corner IS a jerk, but well, he's not angry at US. So maybe there's something there for us instead.

We've missed out by not giving you a chance, that's true and it's sad. You might have been the one. But we'll never know now.

It's a vicious and unfair cycle. You've been rejected, you're angry and hurt, you expect us to reject you, act accordingly, and get rejected again. It's awful.

But this is something you can fix. It won't be easy. But you can. All you have to do is let it go. Repeat to yourself: "There are other fish in the sea."

There's the cheesy cliche that confidence will get everywhere. But there's some truth to that. Desperation, bitterness and pessimism are usually turn offs. We don't want to be your scapegoat. We don't want to be your savior.

Keep asking. Don't take it personally when you get turned down. Don't invent reasons. "I wasn't her type" is enough. Try again.

Don't offer to be friends if you don't mean it. We'll take you at your word. If you want more, say so. If you get turned down, try again with someone else.

You will find the right person. You will. It may take a while. You'll have bad experiences along the way. But she's out there.

Just please. Stop sabotaging yourself. You deserve better than that.

My criminal law professor tells my class all the time: "People stupider than you have become lawyers." That works here too. Plenty of people who are uglier, stupider, lazier, meaner and creepier than you have all managed to land the partner they're looking for. You can too.

-Kalinara

Personal Update

One final left. Egads. Just one. This time tomorrow I'll be FREE! FREE!

...until spring.

On the plus side, it's my favorite subject. (Criminal Law. :-) It's the superhero fan in me. Or the crime drama fan. I'm really looking forward to Criminal Procedure so I can bitch about how all these shows fuck it up. I like bitching about stuff like that. It's my hobby. <3) On the downside, it's the subject I'm least prepared for. Greeeat. I just wanna do well enough to keep my scholarship, please? Eek.

Once that's over with though I'll be able to catch up on all the crap that I need to do! Like WFA! And posting Sand-love! And possibly Snapper Carr love if only to annoy someone.

Hey, I'm a proto-lawyer, I'm allowed to be obnoxious and evil. :-)

Oh dear lord, I haven't finished Christmas shopping yet!

...well, at least I'll have a break to do it in.

And if this final does kill me, know that I, Melissa Krause also known as kalinara (capitalization optional, I'm usually just too lazy to hit the shift key myself) died well and not crying like a little girl. I died like a Spartan, damnit. But with more clothes.

We all know I'm totally going to die crying like a little girl, but my obituary better damn well lie about that. :-P

Wish me luck!

You People Failed Me!

Damnit. Why did no one tell me Snapper Carr's in the Four Horsemen?

Now I have to buy that comic. Damnit. I need you people to keep me informed! Yeesh!

Solicits!!!

Yay! Solicits! I can't really talk much about them, since, well, yeah. Finals. (3 down, 1 left! W00t! -- yes, I like to massacre l33t speak sometimes. Pretend it's ironic.)

-Hmm, okay, I admit, I haven't read GA/BC (not a big Winick fan) but I've heard some spoilers about it. I find the solicit's wording a bit interesting though. Admittedly, I'm one of those people who never believes cliff-hanger type looks-like-death moments anyway but the wording of: "how does that connect with what happened to GA’s son, Connor Hawke?!" Seems to imply to ME, that he's not dead.

I mean, if he were dead, wouldn't they say "the death of..."? Since it wouldn't really be spoiling anything at this point?

Of course, now that I've said that, the death will take. Because that's the way these things always work. I'm never right. :-P

(Though hey, it's not like Arrow people don't freakin' die all the time anyway. Yeesh. They're worse than Lanterns.)

-Hey! They're bringing Chloe Sullivan into the DCU! I'm no fan of Smallville, but I'm honestly surprised it took so long.

-Hal's origin, again! Well, to be fair, since Emerald Dawn was supposedly retconned away by Crisis, it'll be good to get a definitive (for now) version. I agree with Diamondrock that the ED one really didn't work anyway. Since it's Johns, we can tell already that whatever this version is, it'll be somewhat unsubtle, but a keystone for the next few arcs of story and probably Blackest Night. :-)

-Oooo, Boodikka! I'm still miffed at Kreon's death. He was eye-candy.

-Wahoo! Sand sighting! Sandman is on the cover of JSA! They didn't forget he exists! YAY! I just hope he gets to do something INSIDE the comic too! Hmm, I think I need to blog some Sand-appreciation one of these days. I've been falling behind, and I think people are forgetting how neat he is!

I can't let that happen! My one-woman crusade to get everyone to love Sand will not die damnit! Mwahahah.

...after finals.

-Bernard Chang on Wonder Woman? Wasn't he the guy who drew that decidedly appalling sounding porn-star comic? Cognitive dissonance!

Though to be fair, most reviews I've seen of that thing did say that the art was decent. So he'll probably do an okay job.

...the petty part of me however can't resist a swipe on how well he'll likely react to online criticism though. I have a long memory for creator-made online tantrums, and I mock them long after it's funny to do so. Oh well. :-)

-Aww. Superfriends looks sickeningly cute. Like Tiny Titans, I have no intention of READING it. But I kind of want a t-shirt.

...

All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl.

All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl. All work and no play makes kalinara a dull girl.

(Translation: No post today. Check back tomorrow. :-) -K)

In Defense of William Moulton Marston:

This is something that's been brewing in my mind for a few days, so it's possibly apt to be somewhat scattered and incoherent.

I was thinking about discussions of Wonder Woman and feminism, and particularly the feminism of Marston. A lot of times, the notion about whether Marston is feminist or pro-feminine superiority gets immediately dismissed by the fact that he a) has a well-documented pornographic kink and b) used a lot of images of women in submission in his comic.

Both are true, of course, but I think they're an over-simplification.

Marston had a kink, clearly. He practiced BDSM, lived in a long term threesome with his wife and another lady, and did all sorts of other things that make for one heck of a sordid biographical read.

But does that really mean he can't be feminist TOO?

I mean, as I see it, it's kind of similar to being a slash or yaoi fangirl. No, being a fan of slash or yaoi doesn't make someone automatically a member of the gay-straight alliance. There are a number of fans who ARE homophobic or heterosexist, who see nothing wrong with exploiting homosexuality to get their rocks off while still voting yes to ban gay marriage. Personally, I find this to be utterly abhorrent, hypocritical and dehumanizing, but I can't deny this sort of thing exists.

But at the same time, being a fan of slash doesn't mean that you can't ALSO be a supporter of homosexual rights without it being an extention of your kinks. By voting "no" on a gay marriage ban, I'm not trying to exert my kink onto reality and increase my opportunity of meeting and watching attractive gay men interact. It means I genuinely believe that a gay marriage ban is cruel, dehumanizing, and ultimately unconstitutional. (This is not an invitation to debate gay marriage in my comment section, moreover, anyone who tries is apt to find their comment deleted. There are many political blogs out there where you can express yourself adequately on the subject, thank you.)

Marston had a kink, yes. But he also had a long career in which he expressed publically and academically a very pro-feminist view. Do I agree with everything he says? Of course not. To be honest, I think a lot of it is complete and utter tripe that goes on to place my sex on some sort of ridiculous, contradictory, glamorized pedestal.

But I disagree with Andrea Dworkin and Catharine McKinnon, as well. Marston, to me, is another extreme viewpoint that, while very different than the other mentioned feminists, is similarly one I do not share. That doesn't mean that he is not, in his own way, a feminist. I believe that his body of work is itself indicative that it's more than a kink for him.

Finally, while, yes, Marston's comics did heavily feature women, particularly Diana, in bondage and submissive positions, it also always, invariably, showed her breaking free.

A Weird Urge...

You know, recently, for no reason I can fathom, I've had the urge to rent, of all things, Sabrina the Teenage Witch DVDs. I'm honestly not sure why. I remember liking the few episodes I saw of it way back when, but I never watched it regularly. (Heck, I never even knew it was based after a comic until fairly recently!) For some reason, I really have the urge to watch it.

I blame Psycho Beach Party. To be fair, many many things can be blamed on Psycho Beach Party. Including the apocalypse and Thomas Gibson in a corset. (For the record, if you want a really bizarre night, I'd recommend getting really drunk, and marathoning this movie and random episodes of Criminal Minds. Brain Breaky. If you're REALLY masochistic and have a lot of time, I'd recommend alternating those two with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Six Feet Under. Ow.)

Anyway, one of the aunts played the mother, which is probably where the urge comes from. I get like that sometimes. "Hey, it's that guy! I remember him from [insert series here!] I should rent that!"

I honestly can't remember though if the series sucked or not. I vaguely remember the talking cat at least. At least it would be a distraction!

KITT!

Okay, for the record, KITT!!!

I've such a bizarre fondness for cheesy 80s crap. So shiny/awesome/bad!

The only thing more awesome right now is cheesy 60's crap! Specifically THIS. ALL THE EPISODES! UNCUT! OMG!!!

Of course, there's no way in hell I can actually rationalize spending that much money right now. Egads. Still, maybe by the time it hits stores I'll be able to work something out. :-) It's still awesome!

PFP's two-year birthday! YAY!

Huh. Well. PFP is officially two years old today. I feel like I ought to be celebrating or something. I've never actually stuck to a project this long before.

Heh, it really does help to post something every day. Even if the posts are 80% crap. :-)

Normally, meaning last year, I did something highlighting some choice posts for that year. Since I'm technically playing hooky and hiding from the Erie Doctrine right this moment, something that involved is out this year. Maybe in a week or two when things settle back down.

But it's fun! Blogging is a rewarding experience. Even if I suspect it's turned me into a lot more of a bitch than I used to be. Heh. I WAS a nice person once. Honest!

But anyway, yeah. Happy anniversary to me!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go boggle at the fact that there's going to be a Mack Bolan comic book. I used to swipe my dad's books all the time when I was a 12 year old Kalinara. That probably explains a lot about me right there.

Too bad it's not a Stony Man book though, I liked Phoenix Force and Able Team better, darnit.

Okay, back to the books! Bye!

Mindless Excitement!

Ooo! GLC 19's coming out tomorrow! (Well...technically today!) I'm so much more excited by this than is proper or probably healthy. I'm even more excited about this than I am about GL 25 and the end of the Sinestro War.

Ice is on that cover! Ice! Ice in Guy's comic book! My favorite couple ever, reuniting ZOMG!!

I should totally not be this excited. But I totally am! Yay!

Yeah...

...There's going to be a Dragonball movie now?

...

I'm going to bed.

(Though I'm kind of interested in who'd be hypothetically cast as Vegeta in the non-existant sequel. Need someone little and evil...)

Huh, Weird...

Okay, fresh into pre-finals anxiety (OMG! I KNOW NOTHING!! I'M GONNA FAILLL!!) so, yeah, go me! :-)

Nenena's got an interesting link up about an X-Men shoujo manga.

Okay, it sounds pretty silly, but hey, branching out to new audiences could be cool.

I'm just perplexed by one thing...if they're going so far as to re-envision Xavier's as an all-boy school with one female member... Why the heck are they going with Kitty Pryde?

I mean, consider the situation...Kitty Pryde, you have an uber-genius super ninja phasing girl-protege of Wolverine with a pet dragon.

Jean Grey, you have a young woman come fresh as the first female student, who has a love triangle with a handsome, charming rich boy and a geeky (but still hot), mysterious, closed mouthed broody control freak. There's also a smaller cast in general, with members that very easily translate to shoujo archetypes (genius, young innocent kid, playboy, broody guy), they're all half in love with her anyway...

Kitty's a popular character, but if anything, she's a lot more of a shounen heroine. Jean's a shoujo heroine, easy.

I just don't see the point. It's not like Kitty has THAT much more name recognition than Jean outside of superhero fan circles. Kitty's also a character that, I suspect (though I have no proof) appeals more to male readers than most female readers. About the only advantage I can see is that Kitty's of the right age to have other X-Men re-envisioned as teachers.

But it's not like pulling an X-Men Evolution and aging up a few of the non-core mutants is any worse than the re-envisioning they already seem to have made.

It's just very weird to me. I'll probably give it a try, because the writer is the one who wrote those Babysitter Club adaptations, but I'm awfully pessimistic. I'd honestly rather they got her to be the next writer on "First Class" instead, I think she'd be good at it.

On Comic Book Feminism:

This is finals week for me, well technically the beginning of two weeks of finals but I'm in denial, so my posting will probably be fairly lightweight.

I'd like to point out that this post of Ragnell's is something I agree with whole-heartedly.

I very much enjoyed Ms. Bear's piece. I have aspirations of writing someday myself, I have many ideas of my own and would love the chance to eventually publish them.

But I also love superhero comics. I love them for what they are and what they aren't. I love the characters and plots and potential. I won't deny the sexism present, I've certainly complained about it enough, but to be blunt...

It's worth it.

I don't understand the pessimism about superhero comics feminism. I don't. I've hovered around internet and personal fandom for most of my life, and honestly, I think superhero comics fandom is possibly one of the most feminist-friendly fandoms I've ever seen.

As insular and change-resistant as a lot of comic book fans are, they're nothing compared to a group of hard-science-fiction readers if you dare try to bring up broad genre feminist complaints in that environment. Want to attack the anti-feminist conventions of the romance novel genre? Better have a REAL thick skin.

But taking on the stereotypical anti-feminist comic book fan, "Comic Book Guy" so to speak, in his own environment? Bring it on.

Moreover, we get results. Fairly BIG results. We have big name writers and artists publically defending themselves from feminist critique in mainstream comic fandom environments. We're not just talking about interviews with a specifically feminist publication like Sequential Tart, here, either. We're talking about groups like Newsarama.

I might criticize Matt Brady's interview approach on the issues in question, but it's fairly notable that he HAS to bring them up, don't you think? And hey, as stupid as I may have found Quesada's justifications of the Heroes For Hire cover, or the pitiful excuses for the Mary Jane statue...

We've at least reached the point where they have to make them. Heck, Marvel kind of parodied itself with that whole statue bit recently, and even if you read that scene in the manner most offensive toward the feminist comic book fan, that doesn't change the fact that it's a direct acknowledgement.

Both companies are beginning to acknowledge the untapped female audience with new product. DC's got Minx. Marvel's got Anita Blake. It's baby steps, but it's baby steps in the right direction. (I personally despise Anita Blake, but I know quite a few women who read it voraciously, so clearly it's reaching a target audience.)

We have serious efforts to fix Wonder Woman and Supergirl in place. Those shifting creative teams happened for a reason. As botched as the attempts may have been, DC is acknowledging at least that they're not reaching the target they were aiming for and instead of giving up and saying "Fuck it" they're actually taking steps to try to fix their approach. Will it work? Who can say? But they're trying.

Marvel's trying too. As a DC reader mostly, I'm primarily focused on that side of the bank so I can't talk as much about Marvel efforts. But I think it's fairly clear that attempts to spotlight female characters are happening, books like Ms. Marvel and She-Hulk are still going strong. Heck, in a strange sort of way, even the T&A covers are a good sign.

They're basically saying: "Okay, we've got our core audience reading these comics because of plot/character/art, but we're not confident of reaching the lowest common denominator type stereotype of the comic fanboy. So how do we do that?" And instead of changing the content to pander to these guys, they just slap on a sexy cover. They never have to lose that core audience.

That means something.

And those particular fans who pop up on WFA periodically to denounce and decry feminist fans, female fans and the hive vagina? Well...think about it this way, would they be so vocal or so adamant if there wasn't the element of threat involved. If, on some level, they didn't think we might win.

I've seen and addressed the complaints of certain WFA readers that some of the people we link may well just be trolling the community for traffic and negative attention. Which may well be true. But you know what? That's an acknowledgement of the sizeable audience that WFA's managed to obtain and the usefulness of getting linked there. I'd like to be humble, but the truth is, my ego kind of loves that conclusion. Heh.

Change doesn't happen immediately. It doesn't happen in one day, one week, one month or even one year. It's very possible that twenty years down the line, Ragnell and I, Girl-Wonder, Sequential Tart, Friends of Lulu, and all the others who I may have forgotten to mention, and whoever our spiritual successors may be, will still be clamoring for change in the superhero comic book community. But we are getting results. We're being heard. Will there be backlash? Probably. Will we be mocked? Sure. But those are perfectly natural steps on the path of social change. We're going places.

And really I can think of far less worthwhile things to be doing with my time. :-)

Arena?

I have to admit, I don't quite know what to do about Countdown: Arena. Mostly because, as much of a fangirl that I am, I don't really see the point in the whole endeavor. I mean, I don't begrudge its existance, since I totally see the theoretical appeal. Just...well, three versions of Batman, none of whom are the version I'm actually somewhat fond of, duking it out sounds remarkably boring.

Admittedly, I may feel differently when characters I actually like show up. But right now, meh. Does nothing for me.

Though I AM interested in the team that's going to result from this. I haven't yet read any Arena issues, but it seems like whatever variations get chosen could make for a fairly interesting team up. Personally though, I'm a lot more interested in the team-up and the interaction than how they get there.

Okay, it just occurred to me that a combination team of Vampire Batman, Red Son Superman, and one of the Nazi Green Lanterns from that John Stewart AU could end up being the ultimate comic book villain team ever. I'd totally read that comic.

Or a team of all Ted Kords. I know there's Justice Riders and Charlton worlds in there, at least. A team of alternate Ted Kords would be neat.

Damn though, THAT's what I want to see. Instead of an Arena where the characters just duke it out, I'd love to see stories where they have to team up to escape this wacky situation. I don't really care whether Vampire Batman will chomp Gotham By Gaslight Batman. But the two working together, like a really fucked up buddy movie action-comedy? That'd rock.

Oh well, I guess I'm just not the target audience for this one. Too bad.

Friday Night Fights!

I haven't done this in AGES! Well, let's remedy that, with some fun Lantern vs. Lantern action:



Alan Scott knows no young whippersnapper with those new fangled techniques will ever match up to a classic.

(Bahlactus always brings me back to the ring.)

Jonny Quest!

Melashaan posted a neat meme that I think I'll end up taking part in as soon as my brains are unfried from finals. Right now though, my brain is latching onto this:

I still wish that the Jonny Quest mini DC teased would've made it out (I blame Venture Brothers for this). But it just seems, overall, that this long dead market has been revived, and I'm actually a little surprised.

There was going to be a Jonny Quest mini?! Really?!

I LOVE Jonny Quest! Pretty much any version of Jonny Quest, though my heart beats hardest for the original version that I watched in already twenty-year-old reruns as a kid. I rented the DVDs a while back and actually, they hold up surprisingly well as adventure stories.

Well. Okay. With one ENORMOUS caveat. Because the racial/ethnic portrayals in the show are horribly horribly problematic sometimes.

And by "problematic" I mean of course "racist as hell". At eight, of course, all of this went right over my head. (The privilege of being white and not having to think about things like that.) Hadji's "Sim-Sim-Salabim" was the least of it, really. Cringe-worthy doesn't really cover it.

For the record though, I was CRUSHED that Hadji never, or almost never, did that in the 90s version of the show with the stupid 3d stuff. I mean, even by that point, I was old enough/aware enough to know that there was quite a bit of racism involved. But I never could quite get my inner eight year old past the point of "But magic is AWESOME!"

Hadji was always my favorite character. And while I loved the addition of Jessie in general, I was always annoyed that he seemed to get the shaft in favor of all the stupid Jonny (Johnny?) and Jessie 3d adventures. Hmph.

The one thing that never went over my head was how, well, gay Benton Quest and Race Bannon were. Though I'd forgotten how blatant it was. I'd actually gone into watching the DVDs bracing myself for disappointment. Quest and Bannon were kind of sanitized into standard adult-character-asexuality in the later versions of the show I think. They were still constantly together of course, but it was fairly able to be dismissed with at least potential readings of them as straight.

The sixties version...um...no. Not at all. And there is no way that animators/writers in the 1960s didn't know exactly what they were doing. There's outright entendre (there's this whole bit with a whip in one of the early episodes, I think they're in Egypt. Admittedly, it's all set up so Race can use it to dispatch a scorpion planted to kill Dr. Quest, but, yeesh), long lingering looks, unnecessary physical contact, and scenes drawn to resemble old pulp comic images, with Dr. Quest usually drawn in the damsel-esque pose. Usually with the most awesome expression of arrogant disinterest ever.

Seriously, it's all "Yes, I don't want to get bitten by all the snakes, but honestly, you're a moron and my boyfriendbodyguard is totally going to kick your ass. You should just shoot us. Imbecile." (Favorite. Couple. Ever.)

Whoever does the expression work for the original show should be kissed. Because where later series Benton tends to look all absent and vaguely befuddled, 60s Benton Quest ROCKED the arrogant scorn. His expression's constantly all "Yes, I AM smarter than you. And so are my kids. And my bodyguard is hot. YOU are a pathetic little pissant who only wishes you were lucky enough to be me." It's awesome.

I think the quintessential episode of the original sixties version of the show is the one where natives capture Dr. Quest and some other scientist, and Race and the boys have to rescue them in a complicated scheme that amounts to Race dyeing himself purple and emerging shirtless from the river to convince the natives that he's the avatar of their god. Can we say 'Horrifically Racist', boys and girls? Egads. At the same time, the other scientist's reaction is priceless. Quest is all smug, in the "See, we're fine. My bodyguard will save us" sense And the guy just keeps staring at the large near-naked purple man with an expression that clearly says "bodyguard. Right. So THAT's what they're calling it these days. We're all going to die."

To be fair, a lot of the toning down probably had to do with the increasing focus on the kids. (No one wants to imagine their parents as anything but asexual, I think. :-)) The original sixties show was, despite the name, a lot more centered around the adult characters, with the kids as basically subplot characters via investigating stuff, coming to the rescue or being kidnapped. On the plus side, the racism got toned down as well, which is good. On the downside, so did the random and gratuitous violence. Which makes me a sad kalinara.

The show's a horrifically guilty pleasure. And honestly probably the reason I never much cared for Venture Brothers. The sixties version has more sexual overtones, more offensiveness, and more moments of hilarious WTF than the Venture Brothers could ever pull off. A parody is simply superfluous.

I do love the later versions as well (far less guiltily, too) and I would totally buy a miniseries! Darn you DC!

A Long Belated Opinion on the Spider-Man/MJ thing.

I never got around to blogging my opinion of the whole Spider-Man, One More Day, un-marriage fiasco before, but since the topic's come up again, particularly since JMS posted some thoughts about it.

I haven't really talked about it because I'm not much of a Spider-Man fan. I've never cared for the comics or the cartoon show. I rather enjoyed the movies, but not out of any real fondness for the character. I did read the newspaper comic strips occasionally, and Peter and Mary-Jane were already married there, so that probably affects my perspective.

I guess I have mixed feelings about it, really. On one hand, I do think it's important to have editorial/corporate control over a character like Spider-Man. Don't get me wrong, I also support author-owned material as well, of course, but I do think when it comes to multi-franchise, multi-author characters, there ought to be some overhead keeping the portrayals consistent and appropriate.

Well, as much as can be expected at any rate. On the other hand, it might be a notable sign that you've gone a little too far with some aspect of the storyline when your writer wants to pull an Alan Smithee.

I admit, I've never really understood a lot of the justification behind the end-of-marriage choice. I mean, okay, being married to a supermodel's a bit beyond the average fellow that Spider-Man's supposed to represent. Though most of the average fellows probably aren't as clever as Peter and certainly don't have powers.

Moreover, Peter's not a teenager anymore. What's "average" for a teenager may not be for a man in his early to mid twenties. I know personally, while I used to know a lot more predominantly single people, after having entered law school, I was genuinely surprised how so many of my classmates were actually married. Some even have KIDS!

I dunno, on some level I can see the reasoning, it just seems to me that Peter's reached the age where marriage doesn't have to preclude the everyman thing. The supermodel/actress part's fairly new, but the rest doesn't have to be completely alien to normal experience.

I guess it's just disappointing because Flash has been so good lately at telling stories starring a relateable protagonist with a wife and kids and actually using that to tell NEW stories. Wally's circumstances are much stranger than Peter's in general, but I think they've done a really good job at making the character relatable as a young person with a family.

I guess I'm just disappointed because while I can see running low on inspiration involving a man and wife, perhaps, there are a lot of ways to stir things up without taking a step developmentally backwards. Children, for one. That's a little drastic of course, but I think Spider-Girl's proven that we can actually conceive of Peter as a father. It'd be interesting to see what Marvel/JMS (who, for all my occasional gripes, I think would be very good with this sort of theoretical domesticity-meets-action stuff,) would do with that. ((Sure, Flash is doing it too, but it's not like DC and Marvel haven't had parallel developments before. Besides, JMS is very different as a writer than Mark Waid, so there's no reason to believe it wouldn't end up a very different animal.))

And if kids are a bit drastic, I'm sure there are other ways to stir the pot without wiping out the marriage altogether. Oh well...

The JLA movie

I'm really excited about the Justice League Movie. Of course I liked the tv pilot too, so my taste can be a little questionable. But it sounds like it'll be a lot of fun!

I admit, except for Adam Brody, I have no idea who any of these people are. (Adam Brody, I remember, from my brief stint of being an OC fan. It was soapy and trashy and had Peter Gallagher and his scary/awesome eyebrows, but I never really had time to watch.) I actually preferred the rumors of Anton Yelchin, but that's mostly because I've taken to him since seeing him as the baby proto-serial killer on Criminal Minds. He's probably too young for the role anyway, seeing as he looks about twelve. Besides, he'll be Chekov.

Apparently the guy playing Batman is hugely tall. That's cool. Aside from that, I know absolutely nothing about these people.

But I kind of like that. I don't go to movies to see actors (usually), but to see characters. And if an actor's terribly well known, it might start to become "See "This Actor" as..." And that can be distracting. (That's sort of happening now to the guy playing Sylar cast as Spock, I think, which is a shame because the guy looks absolutely perfect for the role. And is a good actor to boot. But the first thing I think of is still "Syler".)

Here though, I'm excited about seeing the big team in action. I don't know if they'll be good actors. (To be fair, this sort of plot doesn't seem the sort to require a whole lot of dramatic chops anyway...except maybe from the Flash if some of those rumors are true.) They might suck. But then again, some of the best performances/actors had to start somewhere.

Besides, as we've seen, I liked the tv movie. My standards of quality for this sort of thing are cheerfully low. :-)

I would totally read this comic...

Via Blog@Newsarama. Ethan Van Sciver relays a new comic book idea: Ethan Van Sciver's The New Testament.

Blasphemy?
The star of Bethlehem as an intergalactic virus?
Zombies?
5-headed lions?

Oh yeah, I would so buy this book! :-)

Veronna is Cool!

I don't have a post for today. Sorry. I just don't. It's not happening. Brain is fried.

But since I don't like leaving you guys TOO empty handed, I'm gonna post this, from Warrior #40. Mostly because it never fails to make me chuckle.



Poor Veronna. Too bad you dropped into limbo. Sane characters, especially kickass warrior queens who are sort-of betrothed to Guy Gardner, are vastly underrated!

Besides, she was the best bouncer Warriors had ever seen! See look below (from Warrior 29, this time):



That's CAPTAIN ATOM she's intimidating. Admittedly, the man's kind of a tool. But he is like a walking reactor or something*. And she's totally got him sweating. Heh. Totally underrated.

* To be honest, I STILL have no idea what Captain Atom actually does. I know he's very shiny though?

Those Poor People...

I always wondered what it'd be like to live in a comic book universe and have to explain to someone like I dunno a lawyer, or an insurance claims adjuster, or even just a close friend when something incredibly bizarre happens.

I'm not really talking about the big stuff, like Black Adam smashing up the city or White Martians invading or San Diego sinking into the ocean. I mean, those are pretty unmistakable.

But how about the little stuff? The really weird stuff. Like that time in Kyle's run of Green Lantern when a couple of city blocks suddenly got replaced with a chunk of future city. It reverted, but still, it'd make a hell of a campfire story.

Or you know, when Hourman turned Beth into a baby. Well, in that case, she ended up fairly entrenched with superhero life. But that sort of bizarre transformation's happened to others, I'm sure. And all the Silver Age type wackiness...

Oh, well, I bet the average bystanders in the DCU have the best "I never..." drinking games ever!

Nifty News By Way of Comics Fairplay!

Ooo, lookit what Heidi Meeley found on Newsarama!

A Starman omnibus! And the GOOD kind of Starman, not the sparkly Murdockian crazy-by-way-of-wacky Starman! Yay!

Of course 49.99 is a bit depressingly pricy for me, and I've never quite been able to rationalize buying hardcovers if I have access to much less pricy TPBs/softcovers. Barring a holiday gift or something, I probably won't be getting it myself.

But hey, it's still awesome news. I know lots of people who'll be positively thrilled! :-)