Computer woes

I think my keyboard is officially half dead. I can't type "t" anymore (I c/p it) and both my s and e keys stick.

And the arrow keys. You never appreciate how often you use those things until they get inconvenient.

Especially when you have to type up a complaint at eleven o'clock at night.

Fortunately, my school should fix it for me. I just have to take it in.

...I'm thinking I'll do that tomorrow.

Somehow my comment notifications have turned themselves off. This annoys me as I haven't messed with my template/settings since...well the last time I updated my very very out of date blogroll.

I'm only saying this because there's a distinct possibility things will get weird on here during my various misguided and fumbling attempts to figure this thing out.

So if you happen to notice my blog turn purple or start raining frogs or something, don't panic. It's just me being dumb. :-P

things I missed

I figured since yesterday's post actually sort of contained thought (maybe :-)), tonight, I might be able to get by with a lot less.

I have been catching up on things that I've not yet blogged about. Like the fact that the Ultimate Universe still exists. I'm actually pretty surprised by this, as I kind of thought Ultimatum was pretty much a "burn the crops and salt the earth" kind of deal. I suppose now I can't complain the set-up is too similar, though.

Also somehow I missed the fact that the X-Men AU (which sounds pretty boring: "What if Jean was resurrected?" Since we know she will be, I'm guessing "Same as usual, only earlier) will also contain a story matching up Danger and Ultron.

Ultron getting a love interest that isn't dubiously incestuous. Crazy robot love? Damnit. Now I have to buy this. I better get some good scheme-y Cyclops in that deal, hmph.

Van Lente is right and NY's rape statute sucks

You know, I wasn't going to comment on that whole Chameleon debacle, since I don't read Spider-Man. But after reading Fred Van Lente defending himself and the various reactions to it, I kind of feel like I have to contribute.

I don't think a lot of you will like what I have to say.

Mr. Van Lente says:

My understanding of the definition of rape is that it requires force or the threat of force, so no. Using deception to trick someone into granting consent isn’t quite the same thing.

Which is not to say it isn’t a horrible, evil, reprehensible thing that Chameleon did. He is a bad man.

He insults parapelegics[sic] and dips people in acid too.

Before we burn him in effigy, please note that "force or threat of force" generally includes things like being drugged unconscious (force, even if she doesn't know it) or blackmail/extortion (threat of force). He's not "narrowing the definition of rape", he's relating the current status of New York State Law.

Quite a few states DO recognize a fraud or mistaken identity in their rape statutes. Louisiana does. I think that Arizona does. But unfortunately, New York does not.

I took these straight from Westlaw (what all the cool proto-lawyers use).

McKinney's Penal Law 130.20 specifically says:

A person is guilty of sexual misconduct when:

1. He or she engages in sexual intercourse with another person without such person's consent; or

2. He or she engages in oral sexual conduct or anal sexual conduct with another person without such person's consent; or

3. He or she engages in sexual conduct with an animal or a dead human body.

Sexual misconduct is a class A misdemeanor.

McKinney's Penal Law 130.05 defines consent:

1. Whether or not specifically stated, it is an element of every offense defined in this article that the sexual act was committed without consent of the victim.

2. Lack of consent results from:

(a) Forcible compulsion; or

(b) Incapacity to consent; or

(c) Where the offense charged is sexual abuse or forcible touching, any circumstances, in addition to forcible compulsion or incapacity to consent, in which the victim does not expressly or impliedly acquiesce in the actor's conduct; or

(d) Where the offense charged is rape in the third degree as defined in subdivision three of section 130.25, or criminal sexual act in the third degree as defined in subdivision three of section 130.40, in addition to forcible compulsion, circumstances under which, at the time of the act of intercourse, oral sexual conduct or anal sexual conduct, the victim clearly expressed that he or she did not consent to engage in such act, and a reasonable person in the actor's situation would have understood such person's words and acts as an expression of lack of consent to such act under all the circumstances.

3. A person is deemed incapable of consent when he or she is:

(a) less than seventeen years old; or

(b) mentally disabled; or

(c) mentally incapacitated; or

(d) physically helpless; or

(e) committed to the care and custody of the state department of correctional services or a hospital, as such term is defined in subdivision two of section four hundred of the correction law, and the actor is an employee, not married to such person, who knows or reasonably should know that such person is committed to the care and custody of such department or hospital. For purposes of this paragraph, “employee” means (i) an employee of the state department of correctional services who performs professional duties in a state correctional facility consisting of providing custody, medical or mental health services, counseling services, educational programs, or vocational training for inmates;

(ii) an employee of the division of parole who performs professional duties in a state correctional facility and who provides institutional parole services pursuant to section two hundred fifty-nine-e of the executive law; or

(iii) an employee of the office of mental health who performs professional duties in a state correctional facility or hospital, as such term is defined in subdivision two of section four hundred of the correction law, consisting of providing custody, or medical or mental health services for such inmates; or

(iv) a person, including a volunteer, providing direct services to inmates in the state correctional facility in which the victim is confined at the time of the offense pursuant to a contractual arrangement with the state department of correctional services or, in the case of a volunteer, a written agreement with such department, provided that the person received written notice concerning the provisions of this paragraph; or

(f) committed to the care and custody of a local correctional facility, as such term is defined in subdivision two of section forty of the correction law, and the actor is an employee, not married to such person, who knows or reasonably should know that such person is committed to the care and custody of such facility. For purposes of this paragraph, “employee” means an employee of the local correctional facility where the person is committed who performs professional duties consisting of providing custody, medical or mental health services, counseling services, educational services, or vocational training for inmates. For purposes of this paragraph, “employee” shall also mean a person, including a volunteer or a government employee of the state division of parole or a local health, education or probation agency, providing direct services to inmates in the local correctional facility in which the victim is confined at the time of the offense pursuant to a contractual arrangement with the local correctional department or, in the case of such a volunteer or government employee, a written agreement with such department, provided that such person received written notice concerning the provisions of this paragraph; or

(g) committed to or placed with the office of children and family services and in residential care, and the actor is an employee, not married to such person, who knows or reasonably should know that such person is committed to or placed with such office of children and family services and in residential care. For purposes of this paragraph, “employee” means an employee of the office of children and family services or of a residential facility who performs duties consisting of providing custody, medical or mental health services, counseling services, educational services, or vocational training for persons committed to or placed with the office of children and family services and in residential care; or

(h) a client or patient and the actor is a health care provider or mental health care provider charged with rape in the third degree as defined in section 130.25, criminal sexual act in the third degree as defined in section 130.40, aggravated sexual abuse in the fourth degree as defined in section 130.65-a, or sexual abuse in the third degree as defined in section 130.55, and the act of sexual conduct occurs during a treatment session, consultation, interview, or examination.

So far so good, but unfortunately there's "legal commentary" attached:

9. Seduction distinguished

Sexual misconduct differs from seduction, in that “seduction” involves allurement, enticement, or persuasion to overcome unwillingness or resistance. People v. Hough, 1994, 159 Misc.2d 997, 607 N.Y.S.2d 884. Seduction Key Symbol 33

In seduction, unlike rape, the consent of the woman, implied or explicit, has been procured by artifice, deception, flattery, fraud or promise. People v. Evans, 1975, 85 Misc.2d 1088, 379 N.Y.S.2d 912. Seduction Key Symbol 29

Yeah. And you see that case mentioned above? Hough? In it the girl's boyfriend's twin brother tricks her into thinking he's her boyfriend. Yeah, about as close to a real world analogy as you can get.

And that case was in 1994.

So, yeah. Mr. Van Lente is right. At least in New York. It's a deplorable, evil act for a man to trick a woman into having sex by fraud or mistaken identity. But legally it's not rape.

New York kind of sucks sometimes.

((Disclaimer: Please note that this does not constitute legal advice, and I'm not a lawyer. If you find yourself in a comparable situation, please call the cops and a lawyer! Laws can change and there may be additional ways to get some justice!!!))

(Edited to acknowledge that, not having read the story, if the girl IS under the age of consent, then Mr. Van Lente is indeed mistaken, and the offense would be prosecutable as rape regardless of her level of consent.)

?

You know, I once said to myself, I'd stop wondering about the appeal of Smallville and how the hell it's still on the air, despite the fact that Tom Wellington's been old enough to play the full version for years. And it can be fun to see the emergence of all these other comic characters.

But did they really need to cast Cat fucking Grant??

I mean honestly, by this point there isn't a character left that won't recognize Superman in the "future", is there?

A thought about Star Trek: Next Generation

I was talking with friends today about Star Trek (specifically Next Generation) and we were talking about how weird it was that so many characters were interested in music/literature/games and such that was all 20th century or earlier. Like...there's no actual pop culture in the future? Isn't it weird that NO character seems to have "contemporary" tastes.

Working on the Enterprise-D must be so weird. Like serving on a cruise ship manned entirely by Renaissance Fair re-enactors. Weird.

On the twilight movie

Well. The meme worked for a few days at least. :-)

Okay, so I mentioned watching Twilight a few days ago, so I thought maybe I'd blog about it.

As a measure of warning, I tried reading the first book once, put it down and never looked back. My friend however is a huge Twilight fan, and in exchange for me dragging her off to the American Idol concert (...shut up) and making her watch horrible comic book movies, I had to watch this.

So yeah. Here are my thoughts from the movie, in no particular order:
------

- What the fuck is up with Edward's hair?!

- Edward is the WORST secret vampire ever.

- Vampire Dad is kind of hot, though, for all that they really overdid the talcum powder. Apparently the actor is Italian-American. A platinum blond dye-job is a mean thing to do to an Italian. Or anyone, really.

- Vampire Mom is a non-entity.

- I'd probably like the bitchy Vampire sister, if I didn't know the VERY cliched backstory that made her a bitch. I know it though, so I hate her.

- Psychic Vampire chick isn't so bad.

- Sparkling vampires is even more stupid when you can see it.

- Apparently the one with the most interesting backstory is the one who follows the psychic girl around and lurks.

- I liked that the high school kids actually commented on the creepy incestuous undertones in the vampire house.

- Vampire Dad's superpower, according to my friend, is to be so in control that he is never hungry for human blood. Basically, his power is the Vampire equivalent of anorexia.

- Baseball game was actually, legitimately cool.

- My friend Matt (also roped into watching with us) comment on the scene where the bad vampires meet the good vampires was: "It's like rock stars facing off with mormons"

- their reasons for going to high school all the time still make no sense.

- Edward is really irritating.

- Why does no one wonder how a guy who's apparently around 25 is the foster father of a bunch of kids around 17-ish? I'm 26, and no one would trust ME with a Japanese Peace Lily.

- And for the record, Robert Pattinson looks about as 17 as I do.

- Sparkling aside, the vampire family's freaky domesticity is infinitely more interesting than the high school crap that dominated way too much of the movie.

- From what my friend tells me, the Vampire Dad once spent like years trying to off himself. Oddly I find that more badass than Edward's own stupid "I'm a monster!" angst. Probably because he didn't whine about it.

- I think I would actually, legitimately and unironically have enjoyed the movie if it were about the Vampire Dad. His backstory is interesting, and I like any vegetarian/pacifist vampire that builds his own cult family, rather than angst about it. It'd be very Joseph-Smith-allegory, but religious allegories sometimes make great fantasy.

- It would also have been interesting if it were about the psychic girl and her lurking boyfriend.

- Bella's not as irritating as in the book, though she isn't particularly interesting either. Her klutziness seems to pop up very conveniently and then disappear like it never was.

- Bella's dad is kind of great though.

- Wolf boy is kind of hot, but pretty substance free. My friend says that'll change. All I know is that apparently he'll have a thing for her fetus, so I'm pretty much doomed to be squicked out by this character forever.

- Bitchy girl's boyfriend is nearly as much a non-entity as the mom. He does seem enthusiastically violent though.

- Vampire Mom's power by the way is apparently her capacity for great love. Basically "Heart" without the vaguely useful telepathy. Wonderful. I can't decide if that's better or worse than Vampire anorexia.

- I love how Edward keeps trying to spirit Bella away because she's endangered by the evil vampire. Because the safest place is totally on the run. As opposed to being in the midst of an entire small army of vampires, all ready and waiting for that ONE pursuer.

- Edward is an idiot.

- I want all the useless school kids to die. Except when they justifiably look at Edward like he's a total freak.

- Worst secret vampire EVER.

-----

In truth, having seen the movie, I really do think the critics who are all "this makes young girls think unhealthy relationships are good!" are pretty silly. This is clearly wish-fulfillment, and is no worse than Disney fairytales (Win true love by neglecting your family, utterly transforming yourself, or mild sexual assault!) or romance novels.

Edward and Bella are clearly stupid teenagers living out stupid teenage fantasies. It's harmless. Yeesh.

Had fun bitching at it, though. Might even watch the next. With copious amounts of alcohol. :-P

The Long Awaited Meme Answer Post!

Hopefully it's worth the wait!

1. Dick Grayson - DC (so I can mock him)
2. Guy Gardner - DC (of course)
3. Red Tornado - DC (the awesome lady version, not the dumb robot)
4. Vision - Marvel (filling my dumb robot quota)
5. Sue Storm-Richards - Marvel (underappreciated but not under-awesome)
6. Amanda Waller - DC (No one fucks with the Wall.)
7. Ms. Marvel - Marvel (Carol Danvers version)
8. Jasper Sitwell - Marvel (being Nick Fury's lackey gives a high tolerance for shenanigans)
9. Niko - Galaxy Rangers (All psychics should carry shotguns)
10. Commander Walsh - Galaxy Rangers (A man and his 'stache)

Dan asks:

Due to an unfortunate interaction with the Mega-Mind-Swap 2000(tm), 4 and 7's minds end up in each other's body. Who is happier about this?

Also, why is 2 looking suspiciously pleased?

Hm. Vision and Ms. Marvel in each other's body. Vision is probably more pleased, as it means his relationship with the Scarlet Witch is less squicky. He'll angst again, when he realizes she's not a lesbian.

Guy is happy because of all the "cans" jokes he can make.

Most likely to get a job on Mythbusters: 9 or 1?

Ooo, good one. Dick or Niko. Dick is, much as I mock him, a Bat, and skilled with all the techy-sciency stuff. But Niko's got the combination of psychometry, archeological background and an indestructable teammate to play test dummy. So I'll go with her. Also she doesn't spend all her free time angsting.

-

Bookslide asks:

1 and 6 lose whatever makes them unique. How do they fare in the world? Does it bring them closer?

Hmm. Dick loses his angst and Amanda loses her brain. Dick'll probably do well enough, but Amanda will remain abrasive and not-conventionally attractive and may have a problem. That said, a less whiny Dick, and an Amanda who's too dumb to know what a dork he is would probably get along well.

-

Scott asks:

8 vs. 4. The game: goat-riding. WHO WILL WIN?

Jasper vs. Vision. Jasper. It's hardly the weirdest thing Nick's told him to do.

1 vs. 3. The game: penmanship. WHO WILL WIN?

Ooo, Ma Hunkel was a girl during that time when people actually cared about penmanship. On the other hand, Dick has Alfred. So, Dick.

6 vs. 10. The game: classic coin-op Sinistar. WHO WILL WIN?

I'm giving it to the guy who runs a space army. Also he can order Doc to hack it and let him win. (And since, unlike Amanda, his subordinates actually LIKE him, he can probably do that.)

5 vs. 7. The game: The Dozens. WHO WILL WIN?

Sue Storm'll beat Ms. Marvel, but damn, wouldn't that be fun to watch?

2 vs. 9. The game: hitting Hal Jordan on the head with farm implements. WHO WILL WIN?

Well, I don't know whether Guy or Niko would get more hits in, but either way, I think Guy would consider it his victory.

-

An Anonymous asks:

After a hard battle against evil and in the lockeroom showers 2 & 6 surreptitiously glance at each other to see who is "bigger". Who wins?

Amanda Waller, of course.

-

Possibly another Anonymous asks:

1, 3, 5 and 7 go on a double date. Who is dating who, and how does it go? 9 intrudes and manages to ruin it. Why and how?

Hmm, Dick, Ma Hunkel, Sue and Ms. Marvel. Hmm. Well, Dick likes assertive women, so he can go with Carol, while Sue and Ma bond over being underappreciated wives and/or mothers. Since Niko is from the future, she probably crashes in during a time travel accident. Undoubtedly bringing a bad guy and mass destruction will follow. Everyone will have fun.

2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 are having a night of super-heroe movies. Who picks what to watch and why?

Hmm. Guy, Vision, Waller, Jasper and Commander Walsh. Guy and Walsh will pick Flash Gordon, for the sci-fi elements. (Also Guy likes to mock the racist caricatures.) Waller and Jasper pick Nick Fury: Agent of Shield (though Jasper likes to bitch that Goodwin-Pierce took his spot.) Vision likes Iron Man.

-

Paragon Kobold asks:

3,9 and 10 have to infiltrate the headquarters of an evil coorperation by posing as advertising consultants:
Who is finds this the easiest? Who will mess up?

Ma Hunkel, Niko and Walsh. Well, Niko's actually got undercover experience, so she's probably best. Ma Hunkel might mess up, not because of incompetence though, just less experienced with this stuff. On the other hand, she's probably better with current trends than two people from the 80s influenced future.


Lex Luthor continues the cloning experiments that created Superboy, this time combining the DNA of 2 and 4: Is the resulting offspring a hero? Wil he or she join a team?

Does Vision have DNA? Well, I guess that didn't stop Wanda. I'll guess that Guy and Vision's kid would be a hero. A half-robot would probably fit in the GL Corps. Also, it means Hal would get to mock Guy for his unexpected illegitimate kid. Let's admit, it's a lot less likely than the other way around.

-

Anonymous asks:

#1 has been given the order to kill #2. Do they accept?

Guy IS annoying. But Dick's probably not going to accept...without access to a ressurrection device at least.

#3 wakes up next to #9 and #4. What is there reaction?

Ma Hunkel wakes up next to a hot psychic and a robot. My guess is "Hot Damn!"

#5 is mindswapped with #10. What is the first thing they do?

Once she notices the grey temples, I bet she totally starts mimicking Reed's most annoying mannerisms. Because she can.

#6 finds him/herself facing down the Black Lantern version of #1. What do they do?

Amanda Waller facing down the Black Lantern version of Dick. I think she runs for it and calls for a bunch of cannon fodder people to get between them. Then when Bruce comes back, he's getting quite the dressing down.

#7 is being interviewed by Sally Floyd. Their reponse to "Real Americans use YouTube"?

Ms. Marvel's a feminist. She'll probably punch her.

#8 wakes up to find Norman Osborn is charge. What do they do?

Jasper? Probably track down Nick Fury and start scheming.

#9 find #2 sobbing on the sofa. What do they do?

Niko would scan Guy for mind control first. Then probably hug him. And slap him for copping a feel.

#10 has been told that Joe Q. is going to retcon them. The repsonse?

He'll be dryly surprised. Then probably send Shane Gooseman to deal with the problem.

-

SallyP asks:

#5 and #8 discover that their regular coffee has been replaced by Folger's Crystals. Do they go bananas, or do they just drink the coffee?

Hmm. Neither is particularly high strung, so I bet they just drink it. Jasper'll replace it fast before Nick finds out, though.

Meanwhile, #1 has discoverd #3's unlocked diary, and reads all about 3's unrequited love for #6.

Dick discovers Ma Hunkel is in love with Amanda Waller. I think...he'd think it was cute but ultimately not touch it with a ten-foot pole.

-

Anonymous asks:

#3 wakes up in a pretty pink dress when Shane Gooseman walks in. What happens next?

I think he'll be a nice boy and awkwardly compliment her dress. :-) Doc will make May-December jokes later.

#6 is told Mark Millar is doing a "realistic take" on them. Their response?

Amanda Waller? I don't know. But it will be VERY interesting.

#7 must gather a group of three to save the multiverse. Who do they pick?

Hmm, well, Ms. Marvel's pretty much got her pick of the Avengers, at least in non Dark-Reign time. Now, if you're talking THIS group, I suspect she'll pick Niko, Sue, and maybe Guy. It's a good mix of powers, and she can probably keep Guy in line.

#10 must find out the Red Hulk's identity. Do they succeed?

It's Commander Walsh. Of course! He'll either do it himself, or delegate to his very talented subordinates. Expect property damage.

#4 has been ordered to get pictures of that masked menace Spider-Man. How do they do it?

It's the Vision, couldn't he ask? Or use his internal camera thing (since he's a robot and all) either way, I anticipate angst.

-

Anonymous asks:

#4's task? Getting Gambit to shower. Do they succeed and how do they do it?

Hmm, it IS the Vision we're talking about. So probably not. Perhaps he'll be able to upend a fire hydrant or something, though.

Superboy Prime is on a rampage, again. How does #1 stop him?

Well, I'm sure he can think of something. If nothing else, he does have access to a couple of superteams to help.

Oh, hell, it's Dick. Maybe he can get him drunk and they can angst together.

#5 is going on vacation. Do they go to Earth-1, Earth-2, or Earth-3?

Hmm. My guess is Earth-3. Not by choice, but when does a Fantastic Four vacation ever go well?

#9 is also going on vaction, leaving numbers 1,7, and 8 in charge on the house. How does it end?

Hmm, Niko leaves Dick, Carol and Jasper in charge. Well, with this line up, it could be a lot worse. I'm kind of predicting that Niko will come home to find Jasper actually dutifully watching the place while Dick and Carol are getting laid in back. Jasper never gets to have any fun.

-

Rob S. asks:

Most likely to be able to belch the alphabet: 2, 7, or 8?

Hmm. Guy, Carol or Jasper. Actually, I'm calling that for Jasper. It's always the quiet ones.

-

Anonymous asks:

#8 and #4 are confronted by John Byrne and told that he is going to "remake" them. Their response?

Hmm. Well, Jasper IS a SHIELD agent, but possibly the Vision can get his wife to turn Byrne into a crate. Unless she likes the remake better.

#3 is trapped in an elevator with Rob Liefield. What do they do?

Well, Ma Hunkel does have that trusty frying pan.

#7 goes through a wormhole and ends up in the world of Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes. What do they do?

:-) Carol Women's Libs herself up an army!

-

Another Anonymous asks:

3, 5, 9, and 10 must all compete on Iron Chef. Who makes what, who sets the stage on fire, and who manages to eke out a win?

Ma Hunkel, Sue, Niko and Walsh. Goddamnit, I would end up with a competent batch. It'd be funny if Niko couldn't cook though, since she's so good at pretty much everything. My vote is they use Soylent Green. Sue would eke out the win. (You know she's cooked with weirder.)

2, 4, 6, and 8 play Monopoly. Who steals the most money from the bank, who buys up one solid fourth of the board and actually bothers to build up hotels bleeding everyone else dry, who spends half the game in jail, and who wanders off in boredom never to return?

MUCH better. Guy, Vision, Amanda, and Jasper. Well. Amanda's got the most...flexible ethics, so she'll be the bank robber. Jasper is very diligent, so he'll probably be the good, not cheating, player. Guy'll end up in jail. A lot. Probably making crude remarks about a bunkmate named Bubba. Finally, the Vision will wander off to angst or get dismantled, or reprogrammed. Whatevs, man.

1 and 7 must each invent new, never before tasted ice cream flavors. What do they come up with?

Batberry. It's rich with angsty goodness, with a free batarang somewhere inside. Carol'll come up with some weird Kree thing. It'll be fairly tasty, but the glow will probably put people off.

-

Yet possibly another anonymous asks:

For numbers 1,2,3, and 10
Pulp theme: Who gets to be the bare chested hero, who gets to be the plucky sidekick in man panties, who's the damsel in distress, and who's the black leather wearing villian?

Hmm. Dick, Guy, Ma Hunkel and Walsh. Dear god. Well. Dick owns the man panties already. Guy's been damsel in distress before, so he can do it again. Hopefully without the brain damage this time. Walsh is in good shape for a geezer, and being male, is less likely to get the censors on my ass. Finally, Ma Hunkel gets to be the villain. I think she'll enjoy it.

#9, 4, 5, and 6
Plan 9 Version: Who is the zombie in the low cut dres, who's the hulking undead cop, who's the alien who screams "Stupid minds!" and who's the brave yet boring pilot?

Niko, Vision, Sue and Amanda. Well. Sue's been dead before and she can rock the cocktail dress. Vision sort of hulks and has also been dead. Amanda DOES tend to think everyone's stupid. And Niko is brave, can pilot, and her solo episodes bore me, so there we go.

#7, 8, 1, 3
Universal horror: Who's the misguided monster, who's the fainting woman, who's leading the torch weilding mob, and who's using science!?

Hmm. Carol, Jasper, Dick and Ma Hunkel. Well, Carol would, I suspect find a way to become real and smack me if I made her the fainting woman. It'd be fun to do that to Dick, but he's a Bat so he's automatically good for being the misguided or misunderstood monster. Jasper gets to faint (poor guy NEVER wins), Ma Hunkel leads the mob, and Carol Danvers uses Science!

#6, 2, 4, 5
Italian zombie: Who gets bitten and doesn't tell anyone, who gets buck naked for a swin in shark infested water, who has the "this can't happening!" breakdown, and who gets ripped apart in a graphic shot?

Amanda, Guy, Vision, and Sue. Well...the Vision's been ripped apart before, so that's easy. Amanda can go buck naked, on account of no shark would fuck with her. Sue might have the breakdown, but it'd have to be early Stan Lee era Sue. Guy is likely enough to get bitten. Mostly because all bad shit happens to Guy Gardner, and he's due for zombie-ism.

-

Christ, you people need names. :-P

#6's world is destoryed in a Crisis. Only three worlds exist now. Do they got to Earth-4 (Charlton comics), Earth-5 (Fawcet), or Earth-10 (Quality, home of the Spirit and Uncle Sam)?

Hmm. I kind of like the idea of Amanda Waller in the Captain Marvel Universe. That'd be FUN.

-

Another Anonymous asks:

Which has a greater chance of killing #10: Having sex with Kyle Rayner or becoming a character in Funky Winkerbean?

Neither. No one can kill the man with the 'Stache. Also, I don't really think he swings that way, so I'll tentatively pick Funky Winkerbean.

-

I love you, too, Anonymous who asks:

One and eight face off across a fooseball table. Who cares more about winning? Who actually wins? Is it still intact by the end?

Hmm. Dick cares more about winning, I think. And probably does. But since Jasper works for SHIELD, the game will get disrupted by a rogue Furybot instead.

Nine and seven, looking through other realities, find one in which they are happily married to each other. One or both might or might not be genderswapped and the world is pretty weird, but each is still recognizable as his/her/its self. How do they feel about that?

Hmm. Niko and Ms. Marvel. I think they're both pretty understanding about the whole alternate universe thing. I suspect Carol will glare at any male teammate who looks too...intrigued by the situation.

Five and ten, after a night neither of them remember, find that they've gone and joined the army. Assuming they have no other pressing engagements, what do they do?

Well, Walsh already kind of runs his own army, so I suspect he'd be able to get out of this one. Sue might enjoy the vacation.

Two and three end up getting to redesign each others' costumes/clothing. Do they do their best, or try to make the other look like a clown? How do the end products look?

Well, we know Guy actually has a surprisingly good head for fashion design, as (moon boots aside) he wears the only GL uniform that would look flattering on an actual person, and Ma Hunkel probably wouldn't activate his asshole instinct, so he'll make her something nice. Ma Hunkel will try her best, but, well, we've seen her costume. Guy's a nice boy at heart though. He'll thank her, wear it until he's out of eyeshot, and threaten to beat up anyone who laughs.

Four and six. If they both end up on a mundane planet like our Earth, who gets in the news first?

Vision. Unless Waller ends up taking over Oprah's show. Which I could totally imagine.

Odd numbers are forced to band together against Cthulu or an equivalent; one and three are the most reluctant, but in the end they agree to work with the others. How does that work out? Do they win, or is the world doomed?

Hmm, of the odd numbers we have: Dick, Ma, Sue, Carol and Niko. Dick might be going through an angsty asshole phase like in Outsiders and Ma Hunkel IS mostly retired. Still, we've got a group of kickass ladies (and Nightwing) so I think they'll manage. :-)

Even numbers enter into a barehanded unicorn-catching contest. Assuming no cheating, who would win? If none of them, or more than one, is a virgin, who has the purest mind?

Guy, Vision, Amanda, Jasper, and Walsh. I'm calling it for Jasper Sitwell. Poor guy has no luck.

-

Brian Smith asks:

2 has a box under the bed; what's in it, and how long has 2 had it?

Hal Jordan's day planner. He's had it for about a week. He's enjoying watching Hal constantly call his dates by the wrong name and get slapped.

I'm making snacks later -- does 5 have any preferences? Any allergies?

You know, I don't honestly know if Sue has allergies or preferences. Seafood might be a bad idea though. Heh.

And I want to give 10 the gift of a magazine subscription, but I have no idea which one to get! Help!

Parenthood. (Err. I'm not supposed to know about that plot point yet.)

Maybe Guns and Ammo?

-

Ununnilium asks:

What does Carmen SanDiego steal from 2, 5, 8, and 10, and how does 3 stop her?

Guy - The Battery with the UofM sticker
Sue - Her wedding ring
Jasper - His glasses
Walsh - his mustache. We don't know how.

Well, let's face it Ma Hunkel rocks the red much better AND has a frying pan. You figure it out.

5 and 6 meet the versions of themselves from an alternate universe that have swapped identities and/or roles. What are Alter-5 and Alter-6 like? What do Original-5 and Original-6 think of them?

I'm kind of attached to the idea of Amanda Waller as another universe's Oprah. I think our Waller would appreciate the sheer amount of power she has. As for Sue. If it's the same universe, she could totally be Martha Stewart. Powerful, a little scary, possibly evil. Sue would be less pleased, I suspect.

1, 4, and 7 have to design transforming robot bodies for themselves and place their minds inside for a year. (They don't have to deal with the technical aspects (although they may want to), just the basic design.) What does each transform into? How does each deal with it? (For bonus points, how did this ridiculous situation come about?)

Hmm. Dick. Vision. And Ms. Marvel. Well, Vision'd be kind of redundant. But maybe he could get a less mopey model? I mean, COME ON. Jim Hammond is awesome. Ultron is (usually) awesome. Why does Vision suck?

Since Dick's currently Batman, the transformation thing should be obvious (A borderline psychotic recluse who keeps adopting kids he doesn't know how to raise?). He'll probably mope. As for Ms. Marvel, I kind of like hers turning into Mothra. She probably won't be pleased. I'd enjoy it.

-

Canton asks:

10 forces 9 and 3 to enter a steeplechase in England. The horses are uncooperative in entertaining ways. Does anybody win?

Walsh forcing Niko and Ma Hunkel to enter a steeple chase. Well. Niko's a psychic, but my money's always on Ma Hunkel and her frying pan.

Ellen DeGeneres pulls out of American Idol at the last minute for personal reasons. 6 is recruited to take her place. Just what sort of judge is 6?

Amanda Waller would be the BEST JUDGE EVER.

8 starts taking salsa dancing lessons. How much is 5 laughing?

Aw. Sue would help poor Jasper, not laugh at him!

Nick is CACKLING though.

-

Anonymous asks:

Does #4 dig giant robots?

Yes.

#6 is thrown back to the 1960's How do they react?

The civil rights and feminist movements get a BIG kick in the ass, that much sooner.

#9 is thrown back to the 1860's. How do they react?

She probably prefers robot horses to real ones, to be honest. Also, she'd end up with the worst split ends. She'd end up one hell of a Wild West lawwoman though.

numbers 1,2,3, and 4 form a wrestling stable. Who's the leader, which two form the tag team, and which is the midcarder? Bonus question: (5-10) who acts as the manager and who is the arm candy valet?

I have no idea what this means, but wikipedia is my friend. Okay, so we have Dick, Guy, Ma Hunkel and the Vision. Dick'll probably be the leader since he's a Bat and all conventionally heroic and shit. Ma Hunkel and Guy Gardner will make for the BEST TAG TEAM EVER. And Vision gets to be the midcarder, because I don't care that much about him and the others make for better teams. :-P

Amanda Waller is the manager and Jasper Sitwell, the arm candy.

-

Another(?) Anonymous asks:

An addition to the wrestling question, what do they call themselves?

The Frequent Fryers.

#5 is being scouted by the X-Men, Avengers, and the Fantastic Four. Which team does he/she join?

Oops. Well, she's already in the Fantastic Four. I guess her second choice would be the Avengers (when they're not all Dark Reigny) on account of not being a mutant and all.

#10 is being scouted by the JLA, JSA, the Titians, the Doom Patrol, and Birds of Prey. Which team does he/she join?

I kind of dig the thought of him joining Birds of Prey. But more likely, I'd suspect it'd be the JSA. Granted he doesn't have the WWII connection, but he's comfortably middle aged, dignified, and has an anachronistic mustache.

Of course, since he's used to commanding a group of eccentric lunatics, maybe Doom Patrol isn't a bad choice.

numbers 1,3,7,9 walk into Guy's place on Oa looking for work. What jobs do they end up with?

Dick, Ma Hunkel, Ms. Marvel and Niko. Hmm. Okay. Niko's the most empathetic, so she can be the bartender. Ma Hunkel's the cook. Ms. Marvel's the bouncer. And Dick's the eye candy wait staff.

Oh noes, #2 just knocked out Hal Jordan! What happens next?

He laughs. Duh.

Somehow, #4 has been told they are the missing Summers brother. How do they react? Bonus points if number 4 is a woman.

Sadly, not a woman. Do I get bonus points for it being a robot though?

Anyway, I suspect Vision's response would be surprise that he's not surprised by this. I suspect that's the reaction of most of the Marvel Universe if told they're a Summers brother. It's pretty much inevitable after all. That or "NOOOOOOOO!!!!"

#5 is being chased by a muscled bound, cyborg enhance loon with a gun the size of a small whale who tells him/her that he is their son. The response?

Reed's going to be sleeping on the couch for a LONG TIME.

#10 gets a job hosting horror movies on a local access channel. What is the name of their show, and what kind of movies do they show?

Hmm. Honestly I'm kind of voting for the "Supertrooper Comedy Hour" with lots of Frankenstein knockoffs.

Maybe that's only funny if you're me.

-

Kevin Lighton asks:

5,6,7, and 9 are playing Guitar Hero: World Tour.

Who insists on doing vocals, who takes lead guitar, who plays drums, and who gets stuck with bass?

Hmm. Sue, Amanda, Ms. Marvel and Niko. Well, Niko supposedly had vocals in the Battle of the Bands episode of Galaxy Rangers, which I'm not supposed to know about yet, but despite dancing around with a microphone, the actual lead singing was done by one of the guys. So. Um. But "experience" matters, and maybe she can get Shane in to actually sing the song.

Ms. Marvel is lead guitar, Amanda Waller is on drums, and poor long-suffering Sue Storm-Richards ends up with the bass. That's the problem with being too nice.

Who overestimates their ability and chooses a difficulty higher than they can manage?

Ms. Marvel.

Who would have preferred to play The Beatles: Rock Band most?

Hmm. Sue.

Which one owns (or rented) the game, anyway?

It's totally Amanda's copy.

-

Anonymous asks:

Yar, it be Talk Like a Pirate day!

What is #4's pirate name?

Ye olde ruste buckete.

Does #7 indulge in the holliday, and if so, how do they spend it?

Yes. She gets all dictatorial and threatens to make people walk the plank.

Does it drive #2 crazy?

Nah. He finds it HOT.

-

K.D. Bryan asks:

1, 2, 8, and 9 have to help a High School put on a musical production of Man of La Mancha. Who directs, who makes the costumes, who choreographs and who acts as a guidance counselor to the stressed teenagers? And who steps in to play Sancho Panza on opening night when the actor playing him has food poisoning?

Ooo. Dick, Guy, Jasper and Niko. Let's arrange this for maximum hilarity. By which I mean, Dick totally makes the costumes. Other than that: Jasper choreographs. Niko directs. Guy plays counselor, since he's ACTUALLY good at that. And Jasper gets to be Sancho Panza. Poor guy.

3 and 7 are bound together by unbreakable magic handcuffs for one year. Which of the two is most inconvenienced by this? Which of the two gets used to the situation first? Would any hilarious romantic comedy-type situations ensue?

Hmm. Ma Hunkel and Ms. Marvel. I'm not seeing the romantic comedy thing, I admit. Ms. Marvel is probably more inconvenienced at first, until she realizes how handy Ma is with a frying pan. (I love that pan.) Also, Ma keeps commenting on her dates. Ma Hunkel gets used to it fastest, because she's an adaptable old woman. They'll soon have fun, I'm sure.

4, 6 and 10 must gain the trust of Lex Luthor in under 48 hours, in order to learn a secret only he knows. How do they go about this? Would they work together or separately? Who prefers to go undercover and who insists they just try to beat it out of him?

Hmm. Vision, Amanda, and Walsh. I think they probably would have to work separately as Amanda and Walsh would either clash madly or sleep together, and as entertaining as either option is, it's a bit scary to think about. Amanda did run a spy group, but I think in general, she'd be more in support of the "beat it out of him" method. Walsh would support undercover work, but, well, let's face it. He's likely to send either Zach Foxx or Shane Gooseman and it would then become a "beat it out of him" method.

Can Vision DO undercover?

2 and 5 accidentally walk in on 4 and 7 in flagrante delicto. How does everyone respond?

Hmm, Guy and Sue walk in on Vision and Carol. Sue would be apologetic. Guy would be amused (on both counts) and probably quite appreciative. Carol would hit Guy. Vision is a robot so he'd probably be unbothered, but then he might just mope about it if only to annoy me.

1 and 10 are convinced to set up rival Kissing Booths for charity at a County Fair - who makes the most money? Who does 8 choose to stand in line for? And why is 6 jealous?

Well, even though I find the man with the 'stache much sexier, I have to say Dick will probably make the most money. Jasper would go for Walsh...it's the greying badass leader thing. *cough* Amanda is just jealous that she didn't think of it soon enough to sue for a cut of Dick's profits.

Lastly, 5, 6 and 9 wake up to find that they are now all physically identical copies of 3, albeit with their former powers and/or skills still intact. Who is most disturbed by this? Who is happiest about it? Who immediately attacks 3, demanding that he or she fix things? And once things calm down, how does 3 respond to now being part of an identical quartet?

Hmm. Sue, Niko and Waller are now copies of Ma Hunkel. Well. I think they'll all be a LITTLE disturbed. Niko would probably adapt fastest, being a psychic and all. Amanda would probably attack Ma Hunkel. Ma is just happy to have more help keeping the neighborhood kids in line.

-

Anonymous asks:

Punk edition:
Does #1 want to be sedated?

Yes. But knowing him, he'll develop an addiction so he can have a new angsty plotline when Bruce comes back.

Does #2 want to dance?

Did Hal just hit his head again?

Does #3 want a riot of their own?

Nah, but she's got her frying pan aready.

Did #4 fight the law? If so, who won?

The Law. Vision sucks.

#5 joins a squad. Is it the riot, vice, or sex squad?

Isn't vice the sex squad? Either way, I'd imagine being invisible would be very useful there.

Does #6 want a holliday in the sun?

The Wall doesn't believe in holidays.

#7 can't start kissing. Why?

She's probably dating Wonder Man between deaths again.

#8 knows there is money in the supermarket. Do they go after it?

Only on Nick's order.

#9 is all revved up and ready to go, but where?

Tortuna. It's where the party's at.

#10 finds Jackie playing hooky and Judy playing along. What happens?

He gets all sternly disapproving, of course.

-

Anonymous asks:

Worse torture for #8: Having Loeb write about them or Horn drawing them?

Well, Jasper's a guy, so I'll go with Loeb.

1 VS 2: Street Fighter II. Who wins?

Dick, probably. But Guy's more fun to play with.

3 VS 4: Mortal Kombat. Who wins?

Ma Hunkel.

5 VS 6: ET the Game. Who wins?

Sue. But Amanda cheats.

7 VS 8: poker, jokers wild. Who wins?

If it's strip poker, everyone wins.

9 VS 10: Pong. Who wins?

Niko, but Walsh STILL has the better mustache.

Placeholder (Meme answers soon)

My meme answers will be up very soon*. Meanwhile, my friend (my usual victim of torture) is getting her revenge on me by making me watch Twilight.

I probably deserve it.

So, can someone who likes the series tell me? Why are all the other vampires infinitely more interesting than the main characters?

*"very soon" might be slightly hyperbolic.

Saturday Filler

Well, on account of there not being enough time for me to answer all the meme questions before going gaming today, I'm extending it to Friday.

If you're curious about my gaming, I'm running a Spycraft campaign. 2.0. Badly. I'm, to be perfectly frank, a terrible Game Master. There are two types of horrible Game Master: the control freak who must steer his/her players by the nose, and my type, who pretty much just wings it all. "You want to jump from the roof of the parking garage via your car and run down the sniper trying to kill you?...Awesome! Fuck rolling! You succeed!"

My players have started to figure me out. The more outlandish and entertaining the solution, the more likely I am to fudge dice rolls in their favor.

I don't game master to kill characters, I do it to be entertained by my own private theatre troop. :-P

The meme is still running. Go ask your question.

Going to see university showing of Star Trek, bye!

Recycling Memes Again

Well, operation better blogging has gone a step in the right direction seeing as, unlike yesterday, I am managing to make a blog post the day after my last one. Yay!

I'm thinking of resorting to my old standby, to spark the spirit back into my blogging.

Which means yet again, I'm recycling this meme AGAIN to get my creative juices flowing:

I'm gonna make a list of 10 characters, it is a secret list. If you want, comment to this post with a question like, "2 and 8 have a dance off, who wins?" and then I answer them in a separate post and it is the most fun meme ever. And you can ask as many questions as you like.

It's lazy sure, but it's been a couple of months and my answers usually seem to amuse you, and your questions always make me laugh, so it's a feel good endeavor on both sides.

So, well, please ask me something! :-)

(My previous answers.

Blogging Improvement Setback, Operation Torture Friends Still A Go

Hmph. This becoming a better blogger thing is harder than I thought. Well, I'll keep at it.

It'll help once I get a chance to pop off to the comic shop. I'm SO behind. On the plus side, that friend I mentioned torturing a while back DID enjoy Nick Fury.

We all love David Hasselhoff here. We're not sure why.

I've considered using that godawful Captain America movie to torture her next, but I do actually LIKE my friend, so I'll pass. Maybe I can find my copy of that Justice League pilot. She won't know who anyone is, but it's silly enough to probably not matter.

I'm running low, so I might have to drop by the video store eventually for more horrible movies. Hmm.

Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers, Recap 42: Rogue Arm

All right, so it's been ages since my last recap. Fortunately, I still remember how this crap goes. :-)

Today's episode is "Rogue Arm". I'm going to guess it stars Zach. I'm hoping it means shit's gonna explode!

What? I'm easy.

In Memory of Frank

Blah, blah, themesong. :-)

Yes, twirl those guns, Shane.

Ahem.

So our episode starts at the Psychocrypt. I hope when I inevitably snap and become a supervillain (I'm counting down days at this point) I end up with a lair so swanky.

Anyway, some of the Queen's men are surrounding the nifty robot maker with two gherkin inside. The gherkin are understandably distressed and possibly a tad groggy.

They flip a switch, the robot maker glows, and the gherkin pound on the tube frantically. I'm actually a bit discomfitted watching this. Poor worm-people.

Anyway, the Queen apparently is making an experimental psycho crystal and will be blasting it into space. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

Ah, she explains it. Apparently the crystal will be sent to Earth, and she'll use the slaver lord made from it to spy. I hope she figures out a way to make it a little less conspicuous.

Interestingly the crystal is designed to run even if the Gherkin's kick it.

I like that her method of sending the crystal to Earth is basically a space cannon. Efficient!

Anyway, on Earth, we get awesome eighties music. I love Earth! Walsh is giving a speech introducing the battle cruiser Laredo, which I think we've seen before. Anyway, it has awesome Andorian hyper-technology and loads of weapon capacity. The galaxy rangers are testing it. Which means it's likely to crash.

Zach gets to sit in the big chair, while Niko and Doc appear to be actually flying the sucker. Goose is standing next to Zach, presumably looking decorative. I approve.

Walsh continues talking. Apparently only 50% of the ship is powered. Gosh, what a seemingly insignificant fact! I hope nothing happens to drain their power! (Meanwhile, there's a guy that looks remarkably like a blonder Zach with a crew cut towards the front. I don't know why he's there, but he might be my favorite bit player here.)

I do like the idea of using the Galaxy Rangers as test dummies.

Predictably, Shane is annoyed at the lack of working weapons or Interceptors. Aw. Honey. You can destroy things without WEAPONS! Though you'd think they could spare one.

Niko is skeptical about danger in THE solar system (Yay, correct use of that term! I love you, show) because she's apparently gotten brain damage since last we saw her and forgot about all the local shenanigans we'd seen so far in the series. Doc is creeped out by all the empty bays and corridors. Zach is unsympathetic and tells them to can the conversation.

Zach's kind of a dick this episode.

He does tell Goose to strap down for launch, which is probably wise. Back on the station, the pretty Andorian lady who shows up periodically and whose name I can't remember officially christens (though not with that word. I wonder what religions still exist in Galaxy Ranger times) the ship complete with breaking the champagne bottle.

I've never understood that tradition.

Anyway Zach channels his inner Kirk, sitting in a way that puts me eyeline with his crotch. Kind of unnecessary, but my inner twelve year old laughs that the animators probably had to draw god knows how many frames of Zach's crotch. But I digress.

So anyway, we get a launch sequence, and they jump into hyperspace where Niko reports drive trouble. She's calling him "Captain" and speaking very crisply in this episode. Maybe it's the military setting. Or she agrees with me about Zach being a dick.

Anyway, on Zach's order, Shane cuts power to the drive. I'm not sure why all those other people are there, honestly, as it seems like the Rangers are doing all the ship running. They drop out of hyperspace without major problem.

Ooo, the missile, convenient. But then literature, be it great or poor, always runs on convenience.

Niko notes the system spark has quieted down. I don't know what that means, but I suspect it has to do with the crystal carrying missile that just latched onto the Laredo like a mosquito. It taps a button and enters a now open launch bay.

1) Smart machine! 2) What kind of warship has easily accessed external bay controls?! At least combo-lock that fucker!

Anyway, it creeps inside and conjures a slaver lord. The Queen is happy.

Back on the Psychocrypt, the Queen is losing the connection. She claims the Gherkins are betraying her. Actually, they are disintegrating. Ouch.

Seriously. I always get surprised by the death toll in the later half of this series. The Queen is philosophical: the slaver lord is gone, but the crystal continues. She spares no further thought for her victims and I reflect that comedic tendancies and love for bizarre arena sports and shirtless supersoldiers aside, she's still the most effective and scariest villain of the series.

The crystal needs a power source, while back on the bridge, Goose is reading off the status report. Zach hands command over to Goose in order to go on rounds. Goose calls him chief. His informal formality always makes me smile.

Anyway, Zach and his bionic arm quickly find the crystal, and demonstrating once more his long-standing trait of being an idiot when psychocrystal stuff pops up, he quickly goes over to it as opposed to, you know, TELLING ANYONE FIRST.

He picks it up. Left-handed of course. And has the nerve to be shocked when it flashes red and the bionics start reacting. Then it melts into his arm, which promptly tries to strangle him.

It kind of reminds me of the first episode of new-school Dr. Who, when they fight the mannequin arm. Zach gets the awesome "My arm is trying to kill me" line and manages to yank it free long enough to slam an alarm. Then it goes back to strangling.

What did we learn from this, Zachary?

Back on the bridge, Goose puts Niko in command. And now I FINALLY know the full ranking order of the Rangers! I mean, it was obvious after a few Zach-less episodes that Goose was second in command (even if his command style is more egalitarian/informal than Zach's), but I always wondered about Niko and Doc.

It makes sense though. Unlike Zach who's clearly career military/law enforcement, or Goose who was pretty much literally built for his job (or one similar enough), Niko and Doc have both had careers outside of being a Ranger, and probably joined up relatively recently. Niko seems more comfortable in her position than Doc, and while some of that is probably temperament, it would also fit that she was a Ranger longer.

I like when I can figure out these things. :-)

Anyway, Goose calls up three guys whose names I'm not going to bother noting since they're pretty much cannon fodder at this point. Sucks to be the red-shirted ensigns of the Galaxy Ranger Universe. I can't tell for sure, but I think they look distressed. They know their fate.

Niko's got a weird idea of being in command (which means, perhaps I am completely wrong in the above babble), as she's right there with Shane and company as they run down the hallway. They find Zach laying there with his arm around his throat.

Shane actually yells out "Zachary" which is one of the very few times I can remember him using Zach's full first name. And he notes the arm going crazy. They run over to detach it from his neck with the intention of taking him to the autodoc. It takes them ALL to hold down the arm.

We segue to the infirmary, and I feel robbed of the Shane vs. arm fight there must have been in order to get him there. A significately NOT robotic fellow in blue notes that the arm is draining Zach's life force. Oops.

This is why you don't pick up weird objects, ZACHARY.

Niko tells us that they can't risk a hyperjump for at least four hours. Non-robot whines that he's only supposed to monitor the machine, but the autodoc is recommending "removal of the arm"

Ouch.

Hey, isn't his whole left side bionic? Can't it effect the rest of him? Can't remove THAT?

Meh, I'll fanwank it. The Thunderbolt must run on different circuits.

Shane Gooseman channels his inner authority figure and commands the removal, and announces that he's turning the ship around. Shane's hot when he's authoritarian. Well, for a two-dimensional cartoon character who is both fictional and far too young for an old lady like me. :-)

Non-robot guy starts readying the amputation, but the arm is NOT having it. It punches through the monitor at a very unlikely looking angle (The role of Zach in this episode will be played by Reed Richards.) And now it's shooting up the infirmary. Heh.

Oh, my mistake. It's been removed already. That makes more sense. This episode features a disembodied possessed floating arm that blows shit up.

I love this show.

It blasts a tiny hole in the infirmary wall and escapes.

Back on the bridge, Niko, Shane and Doc are conferencing, with Niko explaining the problem for the slower members of the viewing audience.

Autodoc guy pops up to give them news about Zach's lifesigns dropping. He does not tell them about the disembodied homicidal arm. I hate that guy more than I hate Audra Miles. And I hate me some Audra Miles.

The arm meanwhile is having fun messing with systems. Fortunately it didn't disable sensors, so they're able to find it. Goose gets a badass load the shotgun moment and they're off.

Two poor cannon fodder rangers move down the hall. They're the red team, I learn, as they dutifully report in. One is a blond named Frank. Huh, maybe he won't die. This IS a kid's show after all. They move forward all "What was that?"

Meanwhile, the arm punches some poor singing robot drone. That arm is an asshole!

Red team enters to see the "horrible" carnage.

Dude! Another singing droid? What is this arm's PROBLEM?!

This is like a robot slasher film.

OH. I see! The arm is being all Buffalo Bill and making itself a robot body! Clever! Now it's on a rolling trolley.

And another robot goes down.

Red Team notes an open door and goes in, and the now humanoid bodied arm locks them in and presses another button. And an airlock opens. We hear screaming.

Jesus Christ.

No seriously! What kind of kid's show IS this?!

It just airlocked Frank!

...AWESOME.

Anyway, the robot now heads to sickbay. And the rangers all follow to stop it once and for all. Cannon fodder!

They all start creating makeshift barracades in the hall. Shane is there too, so they might actually survive. They fire and...what the hell do they make their service droids out of?! That thing's fucking sturdy!

Anyway, it moves off, and a quick check in with Niko tells Goose that it's heading for the engines. He orders them to stay alert and heads to the bridge to confer with Niko and Doc (who wisely stay behind, as general noncombatants, ass-kicking ability aside.)

They note how it eats power, and Shane doesn't want to risk blowing the ship apart with more powerful weapons. Niko points out that by tapping into the engine, it'll blow them up anyway.

Also, autodoc guy pipes in to remind us that Zach's fading again. I hate that guy. Anyway, they're also concerned with this thing getting loose Earthside.

Doc has an idea about using the power grid to brain zap it next time it feeds. This makes Goose happy, and he okays the attempt.

Odd, for once Doc feels the need to explain what he's doing "with the tripwire and pathfinder programs."

I suspect I'm seeing this episode a lot later than I ought to be. I'll explain why later.

We get a nice view of the programs getting ambushed by the slaver programs. Now they know the Queen is behind it. Anyway, the arm's in the engine room, and Shane's off to kill it. Niko tells him to be careful.

Okay, NOW we get supersoldier vs. arm. It tries to blast him. He shoots back, which is less successful than he expected.

No biodefenses?

Back on the bridge, Doc is concerned about the ship while autodoc guy whines that Zach's getting worse and needs to go back to Beta.

I hate you, you glorified phone operator.

Anyway, they fight while the ship jumps to hyperdrive. Unfortunately, the flux thing was damaged and they're stuck in a wormhole! Tense!

Niko tells Goose he needs to "get the grid power back into the hypershunt." Goose has an idea.

More fighting. The arm blasts Goose good, and Niko is actually distressed. (Furthering my hypothesis.) Goose biodefenses himself into an energy soaking tin form, which blasts energy back at the arm, causing it to disintegrate, leaving only the crystal which Goose flings into the shunt.

Everything's fixed! And the autodoc guy helpfully tells us Zach's stable. I hate him.

Finally, real medics fix Zach's arm, and he grouses about his lack of faith in the bionics. But now at least, there's some shielding. Episode ends with some banter. Yay!

--

Okay, I definitely think this episode placement is one my episode guide got wrong. For a number of reasons.

First of all, narratively speaking, this is the traditional "young and untried second is forced to step in for experienced leader" type story. And it's good at it, don't get me wrong. There's a lot of suspense, and Shane gets to demonstrate a lot of leadership qualities includidng group tactics, utilizing your team members, and being open to good suggestions. Shane really proved himself to be a good leader here.

Except, we KNEW he could lead. We've seen it in quite a few of the umpteen Zachless episodes, where Shane's leadership ability was never in question.

This episode makes more sense as a very early episode (maybe even right after Tortuna) where we WOULDN'T have known how the team would function without Zach.

Second of all, the characterizations are...I don't want to say "off", but they're clearly EARLIER. Zach probably wouldn't have seemed so much like an ass to me at the beginning, if I were watching it before Psychocrypt. Psychocrypt really marked the turning point of Zach's interaction with his team, and he seemed a lot warmer and more emotionally involved with them after that. Here, he's still keeping his distance.

Also, his stupidity with the crystal is more understandable if he hadn't been tricked already.

We can also guess that, at the least, this episode is before One Million Emotions. There is a distinct lack of the friendly sniping banter between Goose and Doc. It's moderately better with Niko, but still lacking the playfulness or humor. Moreover, he shows a lot more obvious temper while hunting the arm than he is prone to normally.

Add that to the deliberate identification of Doc's program, and the Queen's general nonchalance about the Gherkin's deaths (considering their eventual scarcity) all add to that impression.

The only counter I can think of, is that the show didn't start really implicitly killing people until the second half, with the exploding Interceptors.

It's interesting to watch now though, because it renews my appreciation for the subtle character growth exhibited by each character. Especially Zach and Shane.

On an additionally tangential note, I'm intrigued that the other rangers don't seem to have an issue following a supertrooper's orders. I'm not sure if that means that Shane's status isn't common knowledge, or if he's just been there long enough to prove himself. But I digress.

But yeah, awesome episode. suspense, scary villain, and retroactive character insight!
And there was an evil robot arm! Yay!

...Poor Frank

Wow. Looking back over this blog, I've been a crap blogger lately.

I even MISSED a day. First one in the entire time I've had this blog!

Fuck it. I'm going to start making this a better damn blog.

Well, no. Not really. But I AM going to start recapping 80s cartoons again. So there!

Well, fuck.

Great. I ACTUALLY forgot to blog today/yesterday. How idiotic is that?

Law school really rots the brain.

But apparently there's going to be a new Pirates movie.

Really, didn't the third have a fairly...definitive ending? It's hard to imagine where it can go from there.

On the other hand, Jack Davenport is hot. If he's there, I'm there.

Query

Has there ever been a Zatanna and Jason Blood crossover? It just seems like a team-up that ought to have happened.

I'd also like to see a Jason Blood and Shining Knight crossover, given both of their Camelot (albeit not the same Camelot). It just seems like it'd be neat.

What unlikely crossover would you like to see?

New Batgirl Costume?

This can't actually be the new Batgirl costume, right?

I mean it looks more symbolic than anything else. She WAS the Spoiler. She IS Batgirl, but her experiences are still with her.

That'd make sense.

Because if this is a real costume, it is really flipping ugly.

Without the purple, it looks cool though.

No Post, Personal Update

Long school day today. :-) So I'm gonna take a nap instead of posting anything of substance.

If you're curious about what I'm taking this year, I have Constitutional Law II, Immigration law, Client Counseling, Future Estates Drafting, and Consumer Bankruptcy. It's all pretty interesting. For me, anyway. :-)

I'm starting to get back in the swing of things, at least. :-) But right now, I need a nap!

Ow.

Okay, I usually consider myself fairly open-minded, but I have to admit to being pretty appalled by the idea of a manga version of Mein Kampf.

I really don't understand the mindset behind East Press. I kind of appreciate Kosuke Marou's statement: "it is a famous book, but there are few who have read it. I think it is [studying] material for knowing Hitler, a man synonymous with ‘devil,’ and what sort of thinking created that level of tragedy."

But really, that seems to be more of a rationale for a simple translation/publication of the book than for making a damn comic book out of it.

Granted, comic books often make works accessible or more appealing to a wider range of people. But on the other hand, if you're not mature enough to read a book when it's not in comic book form, should you really be reading Mein Kampf to begin with?

I don't agree with censorship of the book, mind you. I don't think Germany's decision to ban the book is really the best way of dealing with the situation.

But really, I'm still wrapped up in the idea that someone actually sat down and thought "Let's turn the work of one of, if not the, most famous monsters in history into a COMIC BOOK." It gives me such a headache.

:-)

It does occur to me. You know what one potentially awesome thing from Disney buying Marvel could be?

Disney Princess type dolls of Marvel superheroines.

Granted, I have no idea what the licensing situation is for toys and merchandising. I just really really like the idea of getting a Storm or Jean Grey or She-Hulk doll.

It'd be cool. :-P

Distracted thoughts about video games.

Okay, so I've finally got the chance to sit down and play a bit of lego-Batman. It's...kind of awesome.

Meanwhile, my good friend Matt is playing my copy of Justice League Heroes. It...seems kind of like a poor man's version of Ultimate Alliance, gameplay wise. (I don't quite understand why three of the four Green Lanterns* are separate characters but the Flashes aren't. Especially since Matt likes using the Jay Garrick skin, and it's so weird to hear "Jay" talking like Wally. Perhaps brain damage was involved.)

*Guy Gardner was cheated. Damn it.

I do like how they made Clark kind of quietly snarky. "They don't call you the world's greatest detective for nothing." Heh. And Batman's entertainingly dickish as usual.

I also don't understand why Zatanna's there, but Matt has a thing for characters who turn people into things. (See also, Dr. Strange and his crates.)

The AI is almost endearingly stupid too. Heh.

Disney Related Babbling

You know what bothers me about the Disney Princesses? Not the sexism. Not the implied "wait for good things to happen" message I've seen in certain products (more the games than the movies, to be fair). Not the fact that the most interesting of them seem to be marginalized.

The thing that bothers me about Disney Princesses is that they always portray Aurora in the pink version of her costume. The blue version is much better.

It's all because of Cinderella's stupid dress. Stupid Cinderella favoritism. Hmph. (At least Aurora has the better boyfriend. And better fairy relatives*. And an actual name.)

*I mean, seriously, she was her step-relatives bitch for HOW many years, and the godmother picks NOW to show up?! I think Ragnell was right, she was totally the Prince's godmother. Hmph.

I'm not sure what this says about my sense of priorities.

On the other hand. The Disney Fairies are freaking adorable. Aw. (Though I still find Tinker Bell a bit irritating.)

No Blog Post Today

I've been torturing my friend Alissa with bad comic book movies. Up right now: Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD.

I am happiest when torturing friends.

Lobo Movie?

So the Lobo movie is likely to happen.

There's something funny about the idea of Madonna's (ex?) husband making a Lobo movie. I'm not sure what.

Kind of bemused about the teenaged girl sidekick though (did Lobo have one ever? I haven't read enough to know), and I've no idea who could pull off the grey makeup and not look ridiculous.

Still, in the "so bad it's good department", it does seem promising.

Awesome!

Apparently Captain Britain and MI13 ISN'T canceled!

I'm incredibly confused by this whole deal, but heck, I'll take any non-cancellation of good books that I can get! Yay!

:-)

(ETA: Aw. Well, my confusion was indeed well founded, as it's an old article. :-( Well, that happens sometimes. :-))