Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

I'm back! And reading! And maybe even blogging! No promises!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Search Term Amusement

The most recent search term used to find my blog was:

guy gardner collateral damage nipples


Yeah. Carry on.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Meme Answers!

And my meme answers are completed! Thanks to you guys, there was no crying! I hope you enjoy them!

My list:

1. Turanga Leela
2. Scott Summers
3. Cassandra Cain
4. Guy Gardner (always a mainstay)
5. Clark Kent
6. Dick Grayson (because I never tire of mocking him)
7. Remy LeBeau
8. Carol Ferris
9. David Xanatos
10. Jubilee

A surprisingly competent list. You have no idea how hard that made answering some questions. :-P

Here goes nothing!

Diamondrock asks:

#1 and #7 fight a battle to the death on top of a speeding freight train. Who falls off and either plunges to his/her doom or returns to menace the other character?

Hmm, Leela and Gambit on top of a train. Awesome. She would kick his ASS. Of course, since Gambit's an X-Man, he'll return to annoy me another day. :-)

Ununnilium asks:

#4 and #6 are shoulder angels on #3. Who would be the good angel, who would be the bad angel, and what would they tell #3 to do?

Guy Gardner and Dick Grayson as shoulder angels? Oh, poor, poor Cassandra. Well, by appearances Guy will be the bad angel and Dick would be the good, but ultimately Guy would probably give better advice.

Granted that advice would be "Kick his ass!" but that's better than Dick's "Angst and mope and THEN maybe kick his ass!"

...okay, maybe not that different.

Maverick asks:

#3, #6, and #9 get into a "Battle for the Cowl". Who do you think should be Batman? Who do you think would Grant Morrison prefer to write as Batman?

Cassandra, Nightwing and David Xanatos? Um. Xanatos. Any day. To any question. David Xanatos would be the best Batman ever.


Rob S. asks:

#2 and #10 enter the Coney Island hot-dog eating contest. Who wins?

Scott or Jubilee. Jubilee, totally. Unless it's a mission. Or part of a slightly insane master plan. Then Scott might win. But more likely he'd plan to lose.

And then angst about it.

K.D.Bryan asks:

3 & 10 are forced to go to the suburbs, where they have to babysit a teething baby girl, a hyperactive 7-year-old boy and two sullen tween girls for an entire weekend. How well does this go?

Cassandra Cain and Jubilee. Hoo boy. That'll be FUN. Cass is pretty steady for all that she's not very talkative, so she'd probably be good with the younger ones. (Maybe the baby can chew on a spare batarang.) Jubilee will clash with the tween girls until the inevitable Sentinel attack. Whereafter, they'll start chewing a lot of bubblegum and experimenting with fireworks. Or ninjitsu. It might get a bit messy.

2 and 4 must fight 6 and 8 to the death in gladiatorial style combat, complete with togas (in lieu of their costumes/usual gear) and old-fashioned Roman weaponry (nets, swords, tridents and so on and so forth). Which couple wins and which couple dies?

Scott and Guy fighting Dick and Carol. Heh, that's funny. Each team has an angster and an asskicker. I THINK I'd give the edge to Scott and Guy, because Scott's plans usually work a lot better than Dick's.

Really, though, I think it's more likely that Carol in a toga will lead to Guy making inappropriate comments, and Carol kicking his ass, while Dick and Scott bond over angst, redheads, and problematic father figures. It'd be bromantic.

1, 5, 7 and 9 are in a drinking contest in a dive bar. Who passes out first? Who wins? Who wakes up next to each other mortified with splitting headaches?

Leela, Clark, Gambit and Xanatos. Hmm. I'm not sure Clark's affected by alcohol, so I think he'd win. Unless Xanatos can cheat somehow. I guess Xanatos, being the ordinary human of the group would probably pass out first. Unless he cheats, in which case it'll probably be Clark, because when Xanatos cheats, he cheats BIG.

Leela and Gambit will wake up next to each other, because as Zapp shows, Leela has a knack for sleeping with egotistical blowhards prone to mispronunciation and an inappropriate love of velour.

And lastly, Acts of Vengeance! 10 finds themselves under surprise attack by 5's greatest enemy and vice versa. How well do 5 and 10 fare fighting the other's arch-nemeses?

Um. Okay. Well, let's be honest here. I like Jubilee a lot, but she's not even remotely in the running for team powerhouse. I don't think Superman will have much trouble with any of her enemies. Well. Unless Kryptonite is magnetic.

On the other hand, Jubilee vs. Lex Luthor could be vastly entertaining. I'm not sure if she could WIN, but at the very least Lex will end up very annoyed.

Anonymous asks:

#8 and #1 go on a date. Where do they go and who pays?

Leela and Carol Ferris. Hmm. Carol's more financially stable, so she can pay. She can take Leela to a nice restaurant and then an air show, where they can bond about dating egotistical morons.

#5 attacks #8 and #1 on their date. Why, and how does it go?

Aww, well it's Superman, so mind control is undoubtedly involved. Fortunately, given her own history and dating Hal, Carol has some experience with this kind of situation, so they can probably deprogram him. Then all three will bond by kicking the brainwashers' asses.

Leela will end up with a crush on Superman of course, but who can blame her?

LurkerWithout asks:

#2 and #4 are getting married. Of the remaining 8, who are on the groom's side and who on the brides...

Scott and Guy. Oh goodness. Well, Emma aside, Scott does have a thing for temperamental redheads. Well, the easy ones first: Gambit and Jubilee will be on Scott's side to offer bemused moral support.
Nightwing (or Batman, I guess), Cassandra, Superman and Carol will be there for Guy. Only Superman will be there out of a genuine desire to offer moral support. Dick and Carol would be more likely to be taking pictures back to show Bruce (when he's alive again) and Hal. I'm not sure how well Cass would know Guy, but she's a sweet girl, so she'll probably wish him well.

As for Leela, well, let's face it, I think by this point Scott's going to assume ANYONE who identifies as a mutant from the future is somehow a descendant of his. So she can sit on his side.

For Xanatos...well, both DC and Marvel have their share of sinister millionaires. Scott seems to have more patience with his than Guy would though, since it only took what? 40 YEARS to get pissed off at Xavier? So I guess he can sit on Scott's side.

Really the best part of this scenario is Professor Xavier being stuck with Guy Gardner as a son-in-law. The impending rants about child endangerment will be glorious.

#3 hates #5 because of what they did to #7. What did they do and what will #3's revenge be?

Cassandra hates Clark because of something done to Gambit. Yeesh. That's not an easy scenario. Well, if there's one thing I learned from being an X-Fan it's that many women inexplicably love Gambit. So maybe Cassie is one of these poor unfortunates. It's hard to imagine what Clark would DO though. Possibly an expose of some sort?

I am amused by the thought of Cassandra taking revenge though. It probably wouldn't be a DRASTIC revenge, since Clark's a nice guy and a friend. Maybe she could do it by breaking into his office all ninja-y and...breaking all of his pencils. Heh.

#1, #6 and #9 open a shop. What do they sell?

Leela, Dick and Xanatos, hmm? Climbing equipment and night vision goggles. (one and two eye varieties.)

#10 is lonely. Who will buy them a puppy?

Xanatos, he's rich and enjoys chaos. Also, in my head, he and Xavier don't much like each other, so if Jubilee were still at the mansion, Xanatos would totally take the opportunity to get the most annoying dog possible.

notintheface asks:

1,2,4,6,and 10 are shrunk to tiny size and left to fend for themselves. How will they work together? Which of the remaining five has the best chance of finding them and returning them to normal size, and who will exploit the situation to their own advantage?

Hmm, Leela, Scott, Guy, Dick, and Jubilee. Well, Leela's been shrunk before, sort of, and this is hardly the weirdest thing to happen to the X-Men (or Guy Gardner for that matter.) Between them, Leela, Scott and Dick should be able to work together. Jubilee will follow their lead, and Guy will grouse and bitch until Leela threatens him. Since he likes getting yelled at by women, he'll probably cooperate from that point on.

Of the remaining five, Superman's probably got the best chance of finding them. It's a toss-up between him and Xanatos as to which will find the way to revert them to human, but you know Xanatos will be exploiting the situation already.

All 10 characters receive power upgrades from a mysterious benefactor. What will those upgrades be? Which character will be most improved? Which ones will be the most dangerous? And which ones will fight each other?

Hmm, do they all get powered up by the SAME benefactor? Since we can be sure anything covering Cyclops or Gambit has to do with Mr. Sinister. (Even if he IS dead.)

Anyway, Leela will probably get the Clobberella powers again. The X-Mutants will probably get the usual sort of upgrades they tend to get (also, maybe Jubilee will finally get something to do some fucking damage.) Guy and Carol could always be promoted or something. Dick and Cassandra have no powers and honestly, really don't need them. Possibly since they're Batclan members, they'll get an even greater capacity for angst. Xanatos could get some variation of the Eye of Odin powers from that one episode.

And Superman needs no power ups ever.

The character most improved would probably be Jubilee, because, well, damage! I like her, but barring very specific circumstances, pretty lights are kind of useless. Xanatos will be the most dangerous, but then, he's pretty much the most dangerous WITHOUT powers too.

Also, Guy will totally punch Scott. Because, well. Yeah.

bookslide asks:

4 and 7 are going to the prom. Who buys the corsage?

Guy and Gambit. Well, neither. Guy's not the sort to put out without some kind of gesture though, so Gambit would totally steal one.

Sadly, the night would end with a bar fight. Because it's Guy Gardner. And by "Sadly" I mean "Awesomely."

All ten are in a team-building exercise, with odds on one team and evens on the other. What company do they all work for? Who quits in frustration? Who are at the cabin first? Who cheats?

Okay, team one is: Leela, Cass, Clark, Gambit, and Xanatos.

Team two is: Scott, Guy, Dick, Carol, and Jubilee.

They all work for Xanatos of course. They don't KNOW that, but that's how it works.

I actually don't think anyone in this batch would quit in frustration. Except maybe Leela if Gambit doesn't lay off the wooing attempts. But this bunch is fairly determined and doesn't like to lose.

I suspect Scott's team will get there first. Mostly because while Scott, Gambit, and Xanatos are the most likely to cheat, Clark would end up interfering to make sure HIS team plays fair. Whereas when Scott cheats, he somehow makes it look like the responsible thing to do, and his team will totally buy into it.

5 is in love with a vapid Hollywood star. Who is it?

Hmm. That's hard. Clark actually has taste. It'd be someone who's known for competence and a temper. Maybe Lola Glaudini. Elle from Criminal Minds always seemed kind of old school Lois Lane to me.

Maverick asks:

#1, #5, and #10 all get a guest spot in "Oprah". Who is most likely to jump up and down the couch like a complete idiot?

Leela, Clark or Jubilee. Pretty much by default I guess it'd have to be Jubilee. Youthful enthusiasm and all. Unless weird kryptonite is involved.

All 10 are passengers of Oceanic 815. Who would be the first to solve what the heck is going on in the damn island?

Well, I figure they'd all probably stumble on the answer eventually, but my vote is for Xanatos. Because he's probably running it.

Ghost in the Shadows asks:

#2 & #9 wakes up as the opposite gender. They end up helping each other adjust, what does the world think?

Scott and Xanatos. Well, Xanatos can spin everything into good publicity for him, and Scott's an X-Men, so publicity tends to backfire on him.

I suspect the tabloids would have fun with "Mutant Temptress lures Billionaire into Lesbian Affair" for a while. And then Mr. Sinister will try to breed them.

The Gargoyles will suspect it's a trick, they'll probably be right. And Wolverine will probably start trying to talk Jean into a threesome.

#4 & #10 fall in love and decide to get married. What obstacles do they need to overcome?

Guy and Jubilee? Yeesh. Well, the age difference is the big thing. Guy isn't Hal after all. Jubilee is going to have to grow up first. And there's the usual sort of Green Lantern and X-Men type hassles to consider.

On the plus side, when they've finished dying, coming back to life, turning evil, losing their powers, and meeting alternate universe children, they'll probably breed the single most obnoxious character in two universes.

Guy will be proud.

Tavella asks:

Where do #1 and #7 go on their honeymoon?

Amazonia? I'd imagine Gambit would enjoy it at least.

#4 and #9 are running for office against each other, how does the election go?

Hmm, while I think Guy would be better in office, I think Xanatos pretty much has this in the bag. Unless Guy pulls out some kind of darkhorse Jesse Ventura thing. On the plus side, the televised debate will probably contain the word "pig-fucker."

Then Xanatos will offer him a job.

Anonymous asks:

2,3,7, and 9 have to teach separate Feminism 101 courses at the local college. Who thrives, who hates it, and who gets cited for sexual harassment/discrimination?

Scott, Cassandra, Gambit and Xanatos. Hmm. I think Scott would probably thrive. He's idealistic like that, and while his personal relationships are somewhat questionable, he's got a pretty good track record when it comes to working with and respecting female colleagues.

Cassandra would hate it. Poor thing really isn't suited to public speaking after all.

Gambit would totally get cited for sexual harassment. While Xanatos, though he also has a fairly good professional track record, would totally manipulate someone else into doing it.

1,6,8, and 10 have to work customer service jobs at the local boutique. In what order do they get fired and why?

Leela, Dick, Carol and Jubilee. Hmm, Dick will get fired first. It's the angsting and constant running out to save someone or stop a psychopath. Also,
well, let's face it. We've seen the boy dress.

After that, Leela. Because she's most likely to punch someone in the face. Carol'll be competent of course, her pride wouldn't let her do otherwise, but eventually Hal's going to come in and sleep with most of the female staff. That'll lead to awkwardness and being fired.

Jubilee would probably be the best at the job and keep it until a Sentinel blows it up.

3 and 9 get permanently body-swapped with the arch-enemies of 4 and 8. Who gets swapped with who and how do our four heroes defeat the villains? How do those body-swapped adjust to their new lives?

Hmm, Guy's arch-enemy is probably either Dementor or Sinestro. Poor Cass. Since Carol's the Star Sapphire, her arch-enemy might be Hal. Xanatos might enjoy that until he realizes that he's losing his intelligence thanks to all the blows to the head.

At least the combined might of the GLC, Batclan and whoever Xanatos tricks into helping should make swift work of the fight. (Once they unbrainwash Hal)

3, 7, and 8 are forced to play on a reality tv show. Which show and does one of them actually win? In what order do they get booted off and what catty remarks get shared for the viewers' pleasure?

Hmm, well, I'd rather not pick anything too weighted. Like the Apprentice, where the advantage would go to Carol. Any dancing show would go to Cass (martial artist and all) while Gambit pretty much owns the poker type games.

Maybe Survivor. Gambit and Carol are sneaky and should get pretty far. I suspect Cass though will slip past and actually win, all dark horse underdog. She won't be as fun with the catty remarks though.

9 and 5 have to share a bunk-bed. Who calls dibs on the top bunk? What does the bottom-bunker do to torment them?

Hmm, both Xanatos and Clark are comfortable in high places, but I think Clark would prefer the top bunk. Xanatos will torment him by constantly making asides to interesting sounding scandals, but not giving enough information to use for a newspaper.

That's okay though, Clark will get his revenge by being too damn nice and wholesome. It'll drive him nuts.

1 and 4 take a trip around the world. Who gets thrown in jail on the most ridiculous charges? What charges in what country?

Guy of course. Indecent exposure. France. (Don't ask.)

4, 5, 6, and 7 form a doo-wop group. Do they go platinum?

Guy, Clark, Dick and Gambit. Um. I'm thinking "No." They do get to sing at Alfred's niece's wedding though.

1, 2, 9, and 10 form a death metal band. Who has the most spectacular flameout?
Leela, Scott, Xanatos and Jubilee. Well, let's face it, no one flames out like a Summers. It'll be glorious.

10 has to run a milk delivery route. How does (s)he go about doing this?

She probably steals Logan's motorcycle, with the expected results. Heh.

ticknart asks:

7 and 2 are having a secret love affair, where do they meet to keep their friends from finding out and what do they do there.

The Danger Room. Scott claims it's because everyone would expect them to be training in there, and won't suspect a thing. When they're in there, they...train. Eventually, Gambit's going to realize that his "secret clandestine affair" is actually just Scott tricking him into actually showing up for training sessions.

Cyclops is devious that way.

6,1, and 9 race on a go cart track, who wins? Who cheats the most? Does anyone crash?

Leela wins, Xanatos cheats, and Dick will crash and be hurt, and his fangirls will be very happy. Heh.

5 and 10 are in a dance off, what styles to they choose and can they handle it when they are each given a partner? (5 gets 3 and 10 gets 4.)

Clark would choose a waltz, or perhaps a jitterbug if he's feeling frisky. Jubilee, a jive. Clark will of course be a perfect gentleman to Cassandra. Jubilee will be leery of Guy at first, but then they'll join up to annoy the other contestants.

8 appears on an episode of Food Network Challenge, what's the challenge? What does 8 make? How well does 8 do?

Carol will bake a cake. Unfortunately, she'll lose because it's a yellow cake and will fall on Hal's head.

Anonymous asks:

-The FF all get sick from Ben's cooking. 1,2,3,4 replace them. Who takes over what roles?

Leela, Scott, Cass and Guy. Well, my initial inclination would be to make Guy the Thing, as they both tend toward colorful language and temperamental displays. But Leela WAS Clobberella, so that wins out.

Scott can be the emotionally distant, brilliant leader. I'm sure he'll find it a stretch.

Cass is quiet but her flashy ninja skills and comparative youth make her the Johnny Storm of the group.

Which leaves Guy as Sue Storm. He can make forcefields, and he is thematically a woman. So heh.

-An eldery woman has been shot! The Devil approches #5 and offers to take away 5's marriage(or long term live-in partner) to save her. Do they accept?

If nothing else, I suspect Clark will consult with his wife first. And try all other options, such as the JLA infirmary or turning back time, or whatnot. :-)

In the end, he might do it, but again, he'd have consulted his WIFE.

-U.S.1 is doing a long haul of saurkraut across the Texas Panhandle. How would #6 help him? How would #7 stop them?

I'm not entirely sure what is going on in this question, but I'm anticipating the epic battle between Nightwing fangirls and Gambit fangirls. It'll be glorious.

-It's the end of the World! How does #8 handle it?

She'll probably bang Hal. No consequences and all.

-Superboy Prime is on a rampage. What does #9 do?

Probably trick someone he doesn't like, like Oberon, into fighting him. That way, no matter who wins, Xanatos comes out on top.

-How would #10 take down the Red Hulk?

Wow, that's an incredibly outmatched fight. Jubilee's not an idiot though, so probably she'd end up going to the X-Men for help. Having friends who can mind-whammy on request is nice.

Anonymous asks:

-#2,4,6,8, and 10 get picked to finish Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine. Who does the script, the art, the inks, and which one edits? Who get to review and what would they say?

Hmm, well, Guy is probably best suited to writing the script of something that by all rights ought to be an awesome slugfest. Carol's precise, disciplined and organized, so she'll be the best editor. Scott would be a good editor as well, but he has to deal with Wolverine in like five hundred teams already, so this might be overkill.

I don't know if Dick or Jubilee are remotely artistic, but fireworks are at least pretty, so they get to ink and art respectively.

- #1,3,5,7, and 9 are hired by DC to come up with a new series. What do they pitch?

Hmm, Cass, Leela, Clark, Gambit and Xanatos. My vote is a Two-Face pitch. Because Gambit likes chance, Clark and Cass like redemption stories, and Leela likes violence. Xanatos can do the marketing.

Anonymous asks:

-1 through 3 are throwing a surprise party for 8. What is planned?

Hmm, Leela, Scott and Cass are planning Carol's party. Aw. Well, they can't all be funny. I'd imagine it's a fairly quiet dinner out. A bit boring, but as a present, maybe Scott can do Carol's paperwork so she can go have suggestive fight scenes with Hal instead.

-2 is planning a vacation for 7 and 9. Where are they going?

Scott sends Gambit and Xanatos to the Savage Land. Actually, it's a mission, but they won't know that until they find the dossier he slipped into their luggage. He's kind of a dick like that.

-3 has just been told Rob Liefield is going to be doing a book based on them. Their reaction?

Ooo, I think you've stumbled on the reason for Cass's heel turn OYL! It all makes sense now.

-4 has just been told Jack Kirby is going to be doing a book based on them. Their reaction?

I think he'd probably suspect it's part of the Black Lantern thing.

Maddy asks:

- 7 and 4 are putting together a surprise birthday party for 6. Is it successful or disastrous?

Hmm, Gambit and Guy putting a surprise party together for Dick. Heh. It will be AWESOME. Strippers, gambling, and a bar fight. All the important stuff.

Bruce will be extremely irritated, so if nothing else, GUY will consider it a success.

- 3 has a big crush on 9, but 9 is in love with 5, who lusts after 3. How does the love triangle play out?

So Cassandra is crushing on Xanatos who's in love with Clark who's lusting after Cassandra. Okay. I'm assuming it's a bit in the future, so Clark isn't being a pervert. In that case, I suspect there'll be quiet pining, along with Clark pretending to be really klutzy.

As long as he's not yet married, I'd suspect Xanatos would totally suggest a threesome. He's practical.

- 1 and 2 are kidnapped by a deranged supervillain who pits them against each other in a cook-off. Whoever creates the better meal lives, and the other is killed. What did they make and who lives or dies?

Well, honestly, I don't remember if I've seen Leela OR Scott cook. However, I think they'll team up, and distract the badguy with competing angsty backstories and then Leela will hit the villain with a frying pan.

notintheface asks:

2,3,5,7, and 10 are each about to be offered a U.S. Senate seat by a corrupt state governor. Which ones would accept? Which ones would decline? What would each one want in return? And would the governor be able to give it to them?

Hmm. I suspect Clark and Cass are too principled to take the seat at all. Scott MIGHT be, but on the other hand, if he can get some big concessions to mutant protection/rights, he might be willing to take it after all. Corrupt or not, I should hope this guy isn't stupid enough to name either Gambit or Jubilee to the office. And really, I can't see either of them accepting. Jubilee is clever enough to know she'd be bored silly in politics, and Gambit would need to shower regularly.

Anonymous asks:

#6 gets set up with Kyle Rayner. How long does it take for them to get fridged?

Well, considering that they tried and failed to fridge Dick in Infinite Crisis, I'm going to bet he finds a way to live through this too.

Which is probably for the best. His fans scare the crap out of me.

I'd actually think given his penchant for temperamental and sometimes alien redheads, he'd get paired with Guy instead anyway.

#7 gets roped into babysitting. How does that end?

Mom and dad have a new army of cute and dangerous cardsharks that could really use a bath.

Anonymous asks:

Does number 9 Twitter? If so, what are their feelings on this:

Xanatos wonders how he can use that in his next master plan, of course.

Anonymous asks:

#4 must rhyme the words purple and orange together or a kitten dies! How do they do it?

Well, it's Guy. I'm pretty sure he could find a way to do it, even if it means causing gratuitous violence to you until you acknowledge that the words do in fact rhyme. Then maybe he'll give the kitten to Tora. Girls like kittens, right?

Scott asks:

1 vs. 6. The game: badminton. Who wins?

Well, they're both athletic, but Leela's lack of depth perception might be a hinderance here, so Dick.

4 vs. 10. The game: Frogger. Who wins?

Jubilee. She's more the videogame type. Guy will have more entertaining commentary during though. Also, he might enjoy getting splatted a bit too much.

8 vs. 9. The game: battle rap. Who wins?

Xanatos, but only because he bribes the judges.

2 vs. 7. The game: hitting each other with shovels. Who wins?

Probably Gambit, sadly, because glasses are too easily dislodged.

3 vs. 5. The game: hitting Nightwing with shovels. Who wins?

I win. :D

Menshevik asks:

4 and 2 see 7 and 8 smooching in the Batcave. How does each react?

Guy and Scott see Gambit and Carol smooching. Hmm. Well, she does like idiots with egos. I'd suspect Scott will roll his eyes and possibly make another exploding android for the Danger Room, while Guy will laugh, take pictures, and then figure out how to set it as the Batcave computer wallpaper.

If he doesn't have the computer skills for that, then he'll probably TAPE it to each monitor. And also the ceilings for good measure.

1, 3 and 5 discover Peter Parker struck a deal with Mephisto. Which one is the first to tell Aunt May?

Leela. She's a busybody like that.

6, 9 and 10 have to leave their home town and move to Middelton, Hill Valley, Gotham City, Duckburgh or Springfield (no two may go to the same place). Who chooses which town? Who comes to blows over the choice?

Well, Dick's from Gotham, so he's probably likely to go back, as fun as it would be to send him elsewhere. Jubilee would probably enjoy Springfield, as she's of an age to have enjoyed the Simpsons and is obviously fond of yellow. I'd send Xanatos to Hill Valley (Oblong version) because he would totally figure out a way to recruit all the valley folk for his master scheme and in the process probably improve their lives quite a bit. He can't be worse than the current management. :-)

Anonymous asks:

#9 gets into a drinking contest with Hal. Who injures their head first?

Hardly a fair question, Hal probably got his first concussion walking in the doorway.

#7 gets assigned to write Nightwing. What is their fist major change?

More redheads and explosions.

A civil is brewing between heroes. How does #6 handle it?

Damnit, you're making me compliment Dick Grayson, but I think he'd actually be really good at mediating. He's used to working with people of strong will/personality and the misunderstandings that tends to cause.

I mean, he basically did it in Obsidian Age already.

A group of heroes is planning on launching the Hulk into space. Does #5 help them or the Hulk?

I think Superman would help the Hulk and try to find a solution for everyone. He wouldn't necessarily succeed, but he would try.

Anonymous asks:

10 and 1 are going to watch a bad movie together and snark at it. What genre is it, and what type?

Romantic comedy. Because secretly, they're both kind of into it. They'll start off snarking, and in the end be sighing wistfully.

2 and 9, for whatever reason, end up in each others' clothes. How much of a disaster is this?

Xanatos is a sharp-dressed man, Scott is...not so much, but to be fair, once Jean and then Emma started dressing him, he did improve considerably. Bizarre Dazzler t-shirts aside.

Xanatos might still be a bit aghast at what he finds himself wearing though. Especially the spandex. The Gargoyles must never hear of this.

8 and 3 are both spying on a public figure. Who detects the other first?

Well, provided Carol's not using Sapphire-power cheating, Cass'll see her first. Actually, I'd really like to see that team up. Carol would be an awesome mentor.

4 and 7 wake up the morning after a wild party to find themselves handcuffed together. Does this lead to a two-characters-bound-together plot, or does one of them have handcuff escape tools/skills or alternately doesn't have a hangover and can think out of it?

Well, Gambit can pick locks. I'd be willing to entertain the notion of him being pickless for entertainment value, but I suspect he and Guy would just go to a bar.

6 and 5 are in the same car on a roadtrip. Where do they go for lunch?

Alfred of course!

Anonymous asks:

First five are, inexplicably, intelligent appropriately-powered horses, and told that they must race in the Kentucky Derby to be turned back. Who wins? Does it go completely off the rails instead?

Hmm, if they still have powers, then I'd say Clark wins, naturally. If not, then probably Cassandra or Leela. However, Guy at least would make a fairly glorious attempt to knock everything off the rails.

Second five are watching the race from the stands or wherever, and are ignorant of first five's plight, at least at first. Who quickly decides to help the horses/protect the crowd/keeps betting?

Dick, Carol and Jubilee will do the useful help the horses/protect the crowd stuff. I suspect Xanatos and Gambit will still be gambling.

From either group, who's the secret mastermind behind this ridiculous plot?

Hmm, depends on the motive. If the motive is self-centered and based on ambition, Xanatos. If the motive is actually altruistic if slightly insane, then Scott.

Anonymous asks:

#3 declares their undying love for you. What happens next?

Probably a lot of awkward staring.

Ms. T asks:

#4, 6 and 9 have become galaxy rangers, and sent on a mission to deal with Lazarus Slade with Buzzwang. Who ends up killing Buzzwang by mistake, who congratulates them for killing Buzzwang, and who actually gets the job done?

Hmm, Guy, Dick and Xanatos. Easy enough. Guy "accidently" kills Buzzwang. Xanatos praises him. Dick gets the job done.

And angsts about it.

Menshevik asks:

The ten are cast in another movie version of "The Three Musketeers". Who gets to play what whom? The parts of d'Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, Aramis, Cardinal Richelieu, and Milady must be filled, other roles include King Louis XIII and Queen Anne of France, Rochefort ("Richelieu's sword"), Jussac (officer of the Cardinal's guards), Planchet (d'Artagnan's servant), Constance (d'Artagnan's sweetheart) and her husband, Monsieur Bonancieux (d'Artagnan's landlord, played by Spike Milligan in the Richard Lester version), Lord Buckingham and his murderer Felton, the executioner of Lille, and d'Artagnan's yellow horse.

Crap, do you know how long it's been since I read that?

Okay, I think I'd have Jubilee as D'Artagnan, given that she's brash and young and enthusiastic, it seems to fit. :-)

Scott is Athos, Guy was born to be Porthos, and Dick probably works fairly well as Aramis.

Xanatos, naturally, is Cardinal Richelieu, and poor Carol is stuck as Milady to me. Cassandra gets to be Anne of Austria, what with the alienation and distrust, while Clark gets to be Lord Buckingham as he's a decent sort of guy.

Gambit ends up being Rochefort, and Leela is...the horse. Hah.

Anonymous asks:

There is a rift in space and time, and #2,4,6, and 8 meet the Galaxy Rangers. Who bunks with who?

Easy one! Carol's the only girl, so she'd bunk with Niko by default, but I think they'd still get along fairly well as both are good with the asskicking. Scott gets to room with Zach, since they have the stoic leader thing going on. If Jean's dead at this time, they can even bond over lost but-not-for-good spouses and fatherhood. Dick can bond with Doc, over charm school and unconventional educations. Shane and Guy...would probably get along a bit too well. Hmm. Well. They'll have fun at least. Heh.

Anonymous asks:

1, 10, and 2 are all living in an apartment (3-G to be exact). Which one is the Margo, the Tommie, and the Lu Ann?

Hmm, Leela, Scott and Jubilee. Um. Hm. I think I'd go with Scott as Margo. He's more altruistic, but he's definitely scheming. Leela has doormat tendencies, so she's Tommie. And while it seems mean, that leaves Jubilee with Lu Ann.

3 is a Life Coach to Peter Parker. What advice to they give?

"Beware the retcon."

Menshevik asks:

3, 6 and 9 - the contest: flower-arranging!

Hmm. Dick, I suspect. Cassandra wouldn't understand the point, and Xanatos, well, I think he lacks the serenity to really make it work. Besides, he'd probably use it in a master plan.

2 takes 3, 5, and 7 to the opening of new Tintin/Hergé museum in Belgium. Who has the most fun? The least? Who only goes along to stock up on chocolates in Brussels?

Scott taking Cass, Clark and Gambit. I think they'd all like it, really, though Gambit's appreciation might better resemble casing the joint. Unfortunately, given that the other three are kind of goody-two-shoes, he'd probably not get the chance to exercise his...occupation.

Cass totally digs the chocolate.

1, 4, 8 and 10 go on a double date (who pairs up with whom?) and decide to go to sport event together. What sport? Who goes along to be nice but doesn't actually enjoy it?

Leela, Guy, Carol and Jubilee. Leela and Carol will probably pair up, while Guy and Jubilee end up together. In a perfectly MENTOR sense of course. Still, they'll have the most fun in laser tag. Carol will go along with it to be polite, but she'd probably enjoy it the least.

Anonymous asks:

#5 must bake a dish for Dr. Doom...or else. Whar dish do they make?

Martha's apple pie of course!

#8: cake or death?

Cake, of course. Carol is sensible. Also, if it's yellow cake, she can throw it at Hal's head when he's annoying. Win/win.

Friday, May 29, 2009

My Meme Answers Are Still Absentee At This Moment I'm having a really annoying week. :-) On the plus side, my job is awesome. On the downside, everything else has gotten a bit twitchy. (So yeah, meme is STILL open.)

I did get ahold of Marjorie Liu's X-Men prose novel "Dark Mirror" though. It's an interesting idea, definitely. Especially as I'm the twisted sort of person who really likes gender swap.

I've never read NYX, and I'm not a romance novel fan, so this is my first exposure to her work. She seems to be a decent writer, though I think her interpretations of the characters and mine differ slightly. Mostly Scott, who comes across a bit too...prim for my taste.

The man is repressed, sure, and a stick in the mud idealist, but he also has a fairly wide pragmatic streak and is quite a bit more adaptable than he gets to be in the book. Also Ms. Liu does pay some lip-service to his backstory, but it doesn't really come across in his characterization.

I do think the Scott and Jean stuff is pretty sweet though. The premise is that Scott, Jean, Wolverine, Kurt and Rogue are suddenly in the bodies of mental asylum inmates. Scott, Jean and Logan have the added confusion of waking up in bodies of a different gender. And without their powers. So a subthread in the story has to do with Scott and Jean dealing with the swap, their lack of mental bond (and tendency to rely on it a bit too much in lieu of real communication), and the possibility that this is permanent. It's very cute to see them adjust.

I also liked Scott's inner reluctance to look at his own swapped body since it seems intrusive to the woman who used to own it. Heh.

Wolverine got to be badass, but I kind of think he got to be TOO badass. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do think that Logan would do fairly well in a woman's body once he got used to it. However, I really don't think he'd be quite so blase and adaptable to that change as Ms. Liu seems to. He's a man who is used to playing on his machismo, walking into a room and making people nervous with his 'I'm going to kick your ass' sort of vibe going on. I'm not saying that he wouldn't adapt at all, but I think being in the body of a fairly average looking young woman would throw him more on the outset.

I don't quarrel with the ass-kicking elements, but I have to note that while lip-service is made to Logan's body being out of shape and not a fighter, this doesn't appear to have ANY effect on his fighting ability. (Whereas being in a barely five-foot-tall Chinese girl does impact Scott's own ability to kick ass, somewhat.) And I would have liked to see more negative impact to Wolverine's loss of power. A healing factor probably doesn't seem like much, but I think a fighter really would feel that loss. I'm thinking of that one episode of Galaxy Rangers where the team was blocked from using their powers, and Shane Gooseman, who's bio-defenses are something like a healing factor, ends up walking straight into electrified plants because he's used to shrugging that off.

Also, Logan apparently has the sort of charisma to make him an extremely likable woman. Which, um, I don't see. Sorry. :-) He also gets to effectively bitch Jean out of a crisis of faith. While I have no quarrel with his awesome "navigating the group through the city, while cops and everyone else has them on the run" skills, I find the other skills highly suspicious.

It's kind of funny that Logan seems to end up a lot more competent in any sort of tie-in (movie, book, game) than he actually seems to be in the comic.

As a positive note, I really liked the way she handled the X-Men side of the whole deal, but I was less happy with Rogue and Kurt's role. Except for a brief bit in the beginning, where Rogue faces a legitimately compelling crisis of conscience and a bit of banter here and there, they might as well not have been in the story. It was really more of a Logan-Jean-Scott show. On the plus side though, it was nice to see the characters interact without the triangle being a huge issue.

(Also, I'll forgive a lot for Logan and Jean trying to slut Scott up before the inevitable pool hustling scene.)

Hmm, thinking about it, the absence of the triangle is very interesting. For all that Wolverine seems to adapt better to his change than either Scott and Jean, he doesn't flirt with Jean-as-Jeff and never even contemplates continuing their weird not-romance with her-as-a-man. It's a nice, and fairly subtle for an x-property, examination of the differences between the two relationships.

The story ended very deus-ex-machina, and the villain's motivation made very little sense, and I came out of it still very confused about the role of the asylum or anything. But, that's not unknown to the comic as well. :-) So no real complaints there.

Really, overall, it's pretty decent. I might quibble a bit with the Wolverine-is-awesome bits, and some of the Scott characterization, but honestly, it's no worse than the X-Men cartoon of the 90s was and considerably better than the movies in that respect. And well, body-swap stories are fun in general. And like I said, I'll forgive a lot for the inevitable pool hustling/bar fight scene. :-)

Thursday, May 28, 2009


My computer rebooted and I lost a good chunk of my meme answers. Which means you have one more day to chime in if you want. I'm sad and annoyed. :-(

Oh well, it happens.

As a consolation, I'm posting this image of poor Ororo's bridesmaid dress at Scott and Jean's wedding. (X-Men #30).

I mean, really. That's just a mean thing to do to your best female friend, Jean.

Then again, it could always be worse, consider poor Rachel.

See, if for whatever reason, I was attending my parents' wedding ceremony? I wouldn't forget my dress at home. I'm just sayin'.

Okay, now I feel better. :-)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Tell me?

Anyway, as is customary, you have one more day to toss me questions in the meme. There are some really good ones so far. I hope my answers will be worthy. :-)

I'm contemplating seeing Terminator: Salvation with my folks this weekend. I've heard it's bad, so I'm soliciting impressions. How bad are we talking about? Is it bad in a good way?

I know cute little Chekov is in it. And I've always been interested in the set up for John Connor saving some kid, brainwashing him into crushing on his mom and sending him back in time to knock her up and die.

So is it worth watching?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Another Resurrection of a Meme

To be honest, I'm bored and have nothing to blog. (Well, actually I WANT to recap, but I have to get up early in the morning, so it's not happening.) So I've decided to resurrect an old meme again! Because it entertains me!

The rules are as follows:

I'm gonna make a list of 10 characters, it is a secret list. If you want, comment to this post with a question like, "2 and 8 have a dance off, who wins?" and then I answer them in a separate post and it is the most fun meme ever. And you can ask as many questions as you like.

My previous answers.

So, um, please give me questions. Otherwise I'll cry.

Monday, May 25, 2009


Well, I finally am able to access google and therefore blogger and actually blog.

Of course, now I completely forgot about what I was going to blog about. Ah well.

I did find my old contact lenses while unpacking some box or another the other day. (I briefly wore them before my right eye flaked out. I liked having peripheral vision, but damn they were a pain. And also, without glasses, I tend to look kind of bug-eyed.)

This reminded me about how weird the whole "emergency contact lenses" thing struck me in New X-Men. How exactly were those supposed to work? I mean, it could just be me, but I distinctly remember NEEDING TO OPEN MY EYES to get those annoying bastards in. Granted the X-Mansion gets destroyed a lot, as I recall, but it still seems like it'd be expensive to keep replacing the damn ceiling every morning.

Did I just miss the explanation of how that was supposed to work?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers, Recap 33: Lady of Light

Finally, I have time to do another recap. :-) Work's great, but it doesn't leave a lot of time for recapping. But...weekend, so yay for me!

This week's episode is "Lady of Light."

An Alien Turned Me Vegetarian

So this episode starts with some kind of glowing rift opening in space, with a flaming sphere of something-or-other emerging from it. It zips past a tiny satellite looking thing making it beep alarmedly.

On Beta, the gang is receiving the reports of the meteor, which apparently is alarmingly dense. Waldo thinks it's fascinating, of course. Niko notes lifeform readings in the meteor. And high levels of pneumonic power. Pneumonic? Mnemonic? Fuck if I know. (If you know what it's supposed to be, feel free to supply it in the comments.)

Anyway, according to Waldo, folks theorize that if the pneumonic universe ever comes in contact with our atomic universe, they'd "cancel each other out." Hm. Well, no cancelling yet. But the meteor hasn't hit anything yet.

I hope this episode will have more characters than just Niko. I like Niko, but her episodes tend to bore me. What can I say? I like explosions and violence.

Anyway, Niko notes that the being is heading for Tortuna. It's always Tortuna. And indeed, we get a nice clip of the ball-o'-whatsits in space, crashing and bouncing on the surface of Tortuna. I'm oddly reminded of that one Futurama episode, even though it won't be written for at least another 15 or so years from when this episode was written. (My number is probably off, but I'm too damn lazy to look it up. Deal. :-))

It skids to a stop and explodes, making a nice crater. In the middle of the crater a strange translucent woman appears. She's wearing a glowy crown. She turns to look at one of those weird lizardy gophery things that Shane Gooseman punched in the second episode. It's chewing some bone. The glowy lady notes this with a nervous "Something tells me this isn't Kanzacks."

She's got a slightly Judy Garlandy voice to boot. Which makes me laugh. The lizard thing starts stalking over, while she muses about its strangeness. She asks it if it is the "spellmaster" that brought her here.

Somehow I'm thinking the spellmaster would look a little more literate. Or you know, sentient. Apparently it DOES talk though and notes that she looks tasty. Huh. She tries to question the hungry thing, and when it gets a little too close, zaps it in the face. Well done!

The glowy lady wonders if she's not in another universe and pulls out a small book, then asks if it speaks Spanish, in Spanish. Which is conveniently the only thing I understand in Spanish. So I can answer "no" and confuse people.

The lizard thing thinks she's a wiseguy and steps forward menacingly, while she flips through the guide book looking for "Atomic Universe languages." They speak Spanish in her universe? Okay! Meanwhile the lizard thing is opening its mouth wide.

Suddenly she disappears, while the creature gets at her crown and tosses it into a nearby body of water. She reappears again, annoyed, and points at the thing. Something isn't "tracking" though. Then the lizard thing glows and changes slightly. It becomes a bit bigger, but more placid looking. The alien lady has apparently made it herbivorous, telling it to eat greens.

That seems mean to do in a desert planet like Tortuna. Still here is at least enough close by to munch.

The alien lady realizes her crown is missing, and notes that she doesn't feel much like herself and something is "terribly wrong."

Back on BETA, Shane and Niko are standing in front of Walsh's desk. No Doc or Zach, which makes me sad, but I am cheered by the presence of Shane Gooseman, as it means the probability of gratuitous violence in this episode has suddenly tripled! Yay!

Walsh is concerned about the "Universe in danger" thing. Waldo explains. Apparently "Neumons" (or mnemons? Pnemons? Whatever.) decay in this universe and set up a dangerous chain reaction, and disrupt atoms. Walsh asks if the creature is energy or matter, probably because if it's matter than Shane Gooseman can shoot it.

Aw, he can probably shoot it either way.

Niko answers both, at the same time that Waldo answers "neither". That was...decidedly unhelpful, guys. Waldo elaborates that physics don't really apply. Walsh asks the practical question: how do we stop it? Waldo answers that they must return to being to its own universe.

Goose points out that it would take a powerful explosion to open a door into a neumonic universe.

...I don't really want to know how you know that, Gooseman. But that grin tells me I'm going to be very happy with this episode. It does explain why Goose is in this episode though.

Waldo suspects that someone brought the being here for a reason. Niko chimes in that it's someone who knows the potential for neumonic power. Goose says that he has a few ideas. Well, go blow them up! Sheesh! Walsh sends them off.

In space, we see a green ship carrying Mogul the sorcerer and poor hapless Larry. They are looking into a crystal ball containing an image of the alien lady. Mogul is vexed that said alien lady is on Tortuna as she is his "source of neumonic energy" and he had taken such care to cast the spell that brought her here. He suddenly whirls on Larry for reasons I can't discern at all and demands to know what he's done to him.

Um, last I remember, he was vaguely sensible while you were a total tool? Does that count? But apparently it's Larry's fault the girl crashed on Tortuna. Apparently the crown is signficant too, and a passport to a neumonic universe, where he'll have a new power source for his spells.

Ah, apparently Larry and the Demons blew the coordinates. Somehow I have my doubts about that. Mostly because Mogul's an idiot.

Larry keeps trying to interrupt, Mogul rants, and eventually Larry gets out that the alien lady broke Mogul's spell. Mogul doesn't believe it. No one breaks his spells. Larry tries to point out that she's "pure power." Mogul explains that once he gets the crown, he'll have access to all the power he needs.

Um, that's not a counter argument, man.

Anyway, Larry catches sight of the Galaxy Ranger cruiser, which gives Mogul a plan. Oh good.

Next we see one of those cute Tortuna villages. A small robot donkey is tied to a post. Burro? Probably not, but still cute. The alien lady, still glowing, floats toward it. She touches her head, noting that something isn't right. She seems to be a tad out of it. Suddenly a zap of light startles the donkey. It doesn't look like she did it on purpose, but she takes advantage of the moment to try to talk to it. It doesn't work, so she heads inside the cavern, calling out asking if anyone can help her.

Upcoming barfight? Please?

She observes it as a dark cave filled with atomic lifeforms. They watch her, and one snarks that "she's off her beam." Which she confirms, but notes that she can't remember. Another alien bar patron asks her what she can't remember. She responds with "How to find it." But when asked what she has to find, she can't remember.

A cleaning type rhino-type creature notes that they don't want any trouble. She responds that her neumons are decaying and if she doesn't go home, she'll destroy their universe. The rhino thinks that will dirty up the place a bit.

I love you rhino-with-a-mop.

She asserts that it's serious, she's unstable, and suddenly zaps the mop which disintegrates in the rhino's hands. The patrons stand, asking how she did it. The more human looking fellow tries to reach for her arm and is zapped.

One thing that interests me about this scene is how generally un-antagonistic the bar patrons are. They're puzzled by her, and curious, but they don't immediately leap to an attack. Even when she says strange things about destroying the universe. I'm so used to the beligerant drunk stereotype that I really wasn't expecting the scene to go this way. It's kind of nifty.

Okay, now that I've said that, they pull out guns and try to shoot her. But at least it took longer than I thought it would for them to get hostile. The beams bounce off the alien lady. Now irritated, she asks if this is a joke. Heh. Suddenly beams of light start bursting from her. The bar patrons run for it, while she begs them to excuse her.

Waldo, who's riding a nifty alien creature, Niko and Shane have found the crater. Waldo has registered a neumon surge at Sorry End. Niko and Waldo approach the crater, while Shane peers over the cliff noting "Would you look at that?" Niko agrees that the crater is gigantic. But that's not what Shane is looking at.

Indeed, the giant herbivore comes closer, causing Triton to back up a bit. The herbivore pats Triton's head and rumbles that he's a "nice horsey." Triton doesn't care much for it and jerks back, shouting at it to go away and that they want no trouble with it.

Triton's mane is kind of awesome. Looks conditioned. I bet Goose does it. Goose seems like he'd be an awesome hair dresser for robot horses. Waldo notes the uncharacteristic behavior and that this is the work of the alien. Also, they have four-point-five hours left. Fortunately, Waldo's picked up something else on his scanning doohickey, that's "amazing."

Goose asks him to skip the amazing and wants to know where it is. Waldo points, and they go. Indeed, it's the alien lady, who's very upset. Waldo notes that she's decaying rapidly, as they peer down a cliff at her. The beams effect Niko's implant. Goose thinks the beams are deadly and aims to shoot, but Niko stops him. She gets a vision of the crown being tossed away, and tells them, and us, that the alien's lost some kind of "power stabilizer."

Waldo notes that they have two hours until critical mass and asks Niko to make contact. Niko does by shouting down to her. Um. Really, Waldo, you couldn't do that yourself? Anyway, the alien is shocked and pleased to hear atomic beings that can understand her. But their moment is interrupted by Mogul, Larry and a demon behind them. Mogul thanks them for leading him to the source of ultimate power.

The rangers, resigned, raise their arms and turn around, but Mogul's attention is on a frightened looking Larry who's visibly shaking as he holds his gun. He commands him to collect the weapons and he does so.

I wonder if Goose's biodefenses could take a neumonic discharge.

Anyway, they're led down to the alien lady while Waldo mutters something about who else being willing to risk the entire universe for his "reptilian greed." That sounds kind of speciesist dude. Mogul is unconcerned with Waldo's scorn and casts a spell creating a "neumonic containment crystal" around the alien and rangers. Waldo quickly warns them not to touch the rays, while Mogul decides that it's time to talk about what he came for. He wants the crown of power.

This jogs the alien lady's memory. Apparently the crown is how she gets home, as it "corrects" her "reflections." Okay. Larry notes that the alien lady is not wearing a crown. This upsets Mogul, but Niko quickly gets a vision of the crown sinking in the water.

Mogul shouts that he'll correct her reflections (which sounds dirty) and that he'll have her crown and access to the universe. Larry agrees, but is scolded. Poor Larry. Waldo insists that they have to get out of there. Mogul adds that when she "goes" it'll make them all Roman Candles.

Goose is not so sure about that though, as he has the same thought I did, and asks the alien to hit him with a beam. She is understandably confused, but he urges her to do it quickly. She does so, and he taps his badge and turns into a golden Goose. Heh. He asks her to do it again, and she does. It bounces off him and breaks the containment shield apart. Well done!

Additionally, she blasts another beam at a rock structure above Mogul and Larry, which buries them in rubble. Nice work, alien lady! They run for the horses. (Alien lady shares with Niko.)

Unfortunately, the alien lady isn't clear where the crown is. Waldo, on his awesome striped reptile horse, points out that destruction will happen in 47 minutes. Killjoy. Fortunately Niko remembers the lake from her vision. Waldo remembers the irradiated pool at the landing site and they race back.

Larry and the demon try to unearth Mogul as they reach the lake. Niko notes that it's underwater. Goose says he'll go and get it, but Waldo doesn't advise it. Goose couldn't take the neumonic levels. Niko asks for options, but Goose thinks they don't have options and dives in. Niko is distressed. Heh. So is the herbivore that wandered over. Aww. I like that thing.

Anyway, Goose has badge-tapped himself some gills. Unfortunately, Mogul and Larry have gotten free and got themselves a land transport. Larry is driving. I kind of love Larry. Fortunately, the demon gives lousy directions. But Mogul pops out the crystal ball and sees Goose and the herbivore (AWWWWW) swimming. Mogul thinks it's sweet that they're doing the work for him as Goose grabs the crown.

Goose should totally keep the herbivore. It could play with Winter and Icarus.

Anyway, Mogul, Larry, and the demon march over to them. The alien lady is kind of ticked and slides off Mel's back. Niko draws her own weapon, but the alien lady suddenly grabs her head and both weapons go flying. Mogul seizes the opportunity to cast a spell.

The alien lady faints, just as Goose pops out of the water with the crown. Mogul, for his part, demands Larry stick out his tongue. But apparently he actually meant the weapon, and Larry blushes and draws it. Mogul commands him to get the crown, but Goose is not having that. Larry's gun is like one of those grabby devices that my grandpa used to have.

By the way, the sky is filling with black clouds shooting lightning across it, and the herbivore has surfaced near the alien lady. Waldo insists that she needs the crown and the meltdown will happen in ten minutes.

Mogul announces that he wins and demands the crown. The herbivore emerges from the water, even as Goose, with a smirk, tosses it straight on Larry's head. It's incredibly hot, and Larry jumps, sending the crown flying. The herbivore catches it and even as they try to attack him, throws it toward the alien lady.

I love you, herbivore.

Mogul zaps it with purple energy and it falls, while Goose emerges from the water and starts shooting. Mogul and minions dash off. The alien lady stirs, even as thunder crashes in the background and her fingers twitch toward the crown while Niko warns not to touch her.

Meanwhile, Goose is still stalking after Mogul who shouts at him that his "dumb beast" is dead and he's next. He tries zapping, while Niko uses her badge to telepathically alert the alien lady and get her to wear the crown. She does so and the ground shakes, sending Goose flying and knocking Waldo off his mount. When the quake calms, the magic menaces escape to their vehicle. Meanwhile the alien lady is looking much more alert.

Goose however is still very angry, and snarls that there's no place Mogul can run to. The alien lady approaches and asks him to "Please, allow me." Goose steps back with a courtly bow, and she begins zapping, blowing the vehicle to pieces. Waldo reminds her that she must hurry. She notes that things are getting brighter, while a nervous Waldo notes that's true in more ways than one.

Niko is sad though, for the poor dead herbivore. Goose is still pissed. But the alien lady offers to help. She does a nifty lay-on-hands thing and it wakes up. Waldo identifies it as "phosphorescent neumonics." and explains that it's "Life energy that returns after initial contact."

That means absolutely nothing to me, but yay! The herbivore thing is back! He'll be well preserved with neumons. Waldo, killjoy as ever, reminds her of the time. She acknowledges, thanks the rangers, and tells them it's unfortunate that they can't coexist in the same universe and she hopes their paths never cross again. Aww. She'll think of them often. Then she draws a circle in the air, which gets all glowy, and steps into it. It disappears into a tiny point of light which lifts off and into the space rift.

Goose smirks and notes that he doesn't like long goodbyes. Waldo is gleeful at the scientific data gained, and Goose says there's got to be an easier way. But Waldo is happy that they saved the universe. Goose points out that they've saved TWO universes, and then is startled by the herbivore's paw on his shoulder. The herbivore adds that they've gained a new Galaxy Ranger.

Hey, he's more competent than Buzzwang, so I'm game. As is Goose.

End of episode!


Okay, even if there wasn't as much explosions as I like, this was still a fun episode. A good antidote after the lackluster Murder on the Andorian Express.

The alien lady was sufficiently alien, and even though I still don't know what a "neumon" is or if they are referencing a real thing or not, it was nifty to glimpse a universe that operates under a completely different set of physics.

Also, every episode is better with Gooseman. I'm a bit biased, but off the top of my head, I can't think of any episode with Gooseman that annoyed or bored me. Possibly because any time the plot gets slow, they can just have Shane punch something or blow shit up.

I mean, I love the others too, but their episodes can drag. Especially any Doc and Niko episode. I like the IDEA of the team up, and I love their banter. But plotwise, their episodes tend to end up really dull.

Though granted, I'll take a hundred Andorian Express episodes over another Buzzwang centered ep.

It's funny that there didn't seem to be any after effects from diving into the pond. Waldo certainly seemed very concerned for someone who ought to remember his colleague's bio-defenses. Oh well, maybe he'll keel over or grow a third eye on the way home.

Both Niko and Goose got to do fun things this episode. Waldo was mostly a killjoy, but that's kind of what he does anyway, so I'm not complaining.

My 'shipper's heart noted that Niko seemed very distressed by Goose diving into the water. Heh.

But the best character of the episode was the lizard thing. It was awesome. And of course Goose would make friends with it. Goose is like that. He's got misfit animal magnetism or something. Goose's army of awesome creatures will never not amuse me.

I wish they'd given us a name for the alien lady though. It annoys me when I don't have a name to type.

Definitely a fun episode. And now I'm going to bed!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Another Recommendation Request

I'm shamelessly using this blog as a source of recommendations again. I find myself with the urge to read something noir-ish or detective-y and am at a loss. You guys usually have good taste, so I figured I'd ask for some tips. :-)

So any recommendations?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Something that Made Me Boggle

Okay, someone posted a list of things that they want to see in the next Star Trek movie. This is not the boggling part, because that's what geeks do. I totally have my list! (It includes lots of Spock, as I'm sure shocks you.)

But one of the things on the list made me go "Bwuh?!"

The dynamic between Kirk, Uhura, and Spock was used JUST enough in the first film and it should definitely be a part of the second film. In fact, Uhura's relative disappearance in the final act of Star Trek was disappointing. So, if the best way to bring her back into the fold is to play up the triangle like Bryan Singer did with Wolverine-Jean Grey-Cyclops in the second X-Men film, then go for it. But be careful. We do not want to see One Tree Hill: The Final Frontier. The concerns that the cast of Star Trek would look too much like a CW pilot were unfounded. Don't make them founded again.
(From here.)

So they want Spock to spend most of the movie mind-controlled while Kirk and Uhura make eyes at each other? And then Uhura dies in a really stupid way because, honestly, if she can hold back fucking water like that, I'm pretty sure she could have lifted the goddamn plane instead. Less force involved. And y'know, she could have been ON IT too. (Sorry, I have issues with the end of X-2)

I didn't hate the movie, rant aside, but it's not a very good basis for how triangles should work.

Besides, I'd like to think they can do something with Uhura that doesn't make her a competition trophy. I liked the understated way the romance was used in the first movie, and how it didn't minimize her actual ship-type contributions. Why can't she have an increased role based on her badass translation skills instead? It's fairly easy to think of situations where that's useful, even with a Universal Translator.

On a pettier note, the love triangle would annoy me because one of the things I loved about the movie was how disinterested Uhura was in Kirk. Not every girl goes after the playboy after all. Just because a guy is likeable and charming, or the big man on campus, doesn't mean he's good boyfriend material. Uhura's wiser than that. And really, like Hal Jordan, Kirk can only benefit from acquaintance with a few women completely immune to his charm.

Besides, Spock's hotter anyway. :-)

Shameless Filler Post

It's Wednesday night (or Thursday morning), I'm settling in to my new summer job (interning at Legal Aid), I'm swearing about the end of the Criminal Minds season finale and otherwise just too damn tired to actually post anything.

So instead, I'll offer up a question. If you could send any comic book character on a nice all-expense-paid vacation, who would it be, where would you send him/her, and for how long?

I suppose for me, I'd probably choose Steve Rogers. Okay, granted, he's dead. But if he DOES come back via Reborn, it'll be in the middle of all this Dark Reign stuff. So he'll basically go straight from "Bucky's alive but evil!" -> "Bucky's good but ran away" -> "WTF, Tony?! Seriously?!" -> "Oh look a bullet!" -> Death -> and then all this crap.

If anyone deserves a nice beach vacation somewhere for a week or two before jumping back into the fray, it's Steve. Besides, he'd probably end up stopping international smugglers and/or shark poachers in the process. Also. Eye-candy for me. Yay!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Solicit rambling

Yay! Solicits!

Weirdly, I find myself more intrigued by the Marvel solicits than DC ones this time around. Probably because of my current X-kick. And well. Reborn. Granted, I'm pretty damn excited for Blackest Night, but that's like, self-explanatory.

I think I'm most intrigued by the X-Force solicit, just for the Wolverine-Cyclops confrontation. Which, granted, Cyclops has been doing dickish things, but well, it's dickish things in the protection of family, so I kind of think Wolverine might end up being mighty hypocritical in that fight. I'm hoping for another fist-fight. Just so I can argue with my Wolverine-fanatic friend who insists that Wolverine NEVER loses.

Even though, as I'm going through these back-issues, it pretty much seems like Wolverine gets his ass kicked pretty fucking consistently. He gets up afterwards, sure, and does wreak some good havoc, bu still.

I would wonder if Logan'd pull a "you're not fit to lead us" thing and take X-Force away, except that would probably require him not to be on any of the other X-teams and I can't see that happening.

It'd be funny if he did try to take over X-Force while still remaining an X-Man though.

I'm also intrigued by the X-Men/Dark X-Men stuff. I wonder if this means Scott and Emma are broken up. I'm kind of sad about that. Creepy similarities to Jack Winters aside, she might be the healthiest relationship he's had in years. (And I say that as a Scott/Jean fan.) Maybe there's a way to keep them involved. Maybe this entire thing is a diabolical master plan. I could see that. Or he's just that much of a masochist.

(I wouldn't discount the masochism thing. I mean there was that whole "That time you raped my brain was a beautiful gift!" bit. And also, I'm reminded of the issue with Corsair, where it was all "I was mad before, but now that you've bitchslapped me, I can hug you and fall asleep in your arms." And it took how many years to finally get pissed off at Xavier?)

Dark Avengers also intrigues me because my brain translates the solicit as: "Cyclops is pissed off now. It is ON." Which would totally be the solicit I'd write if I were hired to write solicits. Also, any resurrection issue would be solicited as "Oh come on, you knew he/she/it would be back eventually. Read the damn issue."

So yeah, I'm kind of excited. Now I just need to find a good LCS for the summer...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Brief thoughts.

Oooo! Casting News! I love casting news!

I could see George Kirk as Thor. I'm not saying this as a reflection of his ability (though he certainly seemed capable in his few minutes in Star Trek) but more in line of he'd look hot with long hair and a hammer.


Also, I forgot to blog yesterday that they played the GI Joe trailer when I went to see Star Trek. It looks gloriously, awesomely awful. But it has Christopher Eccleston and mindless violence and explosions, so I'll likely be happy. Also, I don't know much about GI Joe, so honestly, I'm not likely to notice them fuck stuff up. Though I know certain people who are fans, so I'm looking forward to the ranting, much like I love watching the Jean Claude Van Damme Streetfighter with friends who play the games.

I might be a sadist. Heh.

Monday, May 18, 2009


I saw it. It was awesome. Totally. Here are some mildly - spoilery thoughts:

1. Chris Pine would make an awesome Hal Jordan. I knew it as soon as he whammed his head on the doorway early on.

2. Zachary Quinto had the hardest job I think. Everyone else could get away with slight deviations in their take on the characters but Leonard Nimoy's RIGHT THERE. Totally nailed it though. Awesomely.

3. I was most nervous about Urban as McCoy because he's most recognizable to me and also too good-looking to be McCoy really. But he was great too and I forgot he was Karl Urban after a bit.

I think he learned from the Guy Gardner school of dealing with the fact that you're a handsome guy: make lots of faces and bitch until we forget.

4. Uhura, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu...all awesome.

5. I might have squealed when the Enterprise appeared on screen.

6. I like Winona Ryder, but she's an odd choice for Spock's mom. Especially since they didn't bother to age her up that much. Also, aren't Vulcans supposed to develop slower? I always figured Spock was a few decades older than Kirk, but this one has to be close to the same age if his mom is that young. So is he like the half-Vulcan equivalent of Chekov?

If so, I can accept that.

7. Chekov made me feel so damn old. Jesus. I wanted to ruffle his hair and feed him. And whack the scriptwriters for giving him so many v-words. Or just buy him a thesaurus.

8. Old Spock. <3

9. I liked that they didn't gloss over Kirk's bad points too. I thought the whole emotionally compromising bridge scene was ugly. Necessary, but so ugly. I liked that no one looked happy about that whole thing.

10. Spock was my first crush. I am very happy with this movie. <3

11. They made Christopher Pike into a total badass. I approve.

12. Everyone told me about the "Live Long and Prosper" = "Fuck off and die" thing. It did not disappoint.

13. The collapsible katana was awesome, but wouldn't a phaser be more useful?

14. I loved that what's his name on the drill was in red. My dad and I couldn't stop snickering.

15. I had my doubts going in about the Spock and Uhura stuff, but it really worked for me. Aw.

16. As did the Kirk and Spock stuff.

17. Little Kirk and the car made my dad laugh very hard. I laughed harder during the bar fight.

18. Hopefully someone will find it "logical" to make sure Kirk actually learns hand-to-hand combat. He loses every fight he's in!

19. "I married her because I loved her," might have actually made me cry a little. Shut up.

20. Spoooock. <3

Sunday, May 17, 2009


Computer glitch ate today's post and I'm frustrated. On the plus side, I finally get to go see Star Trek, so it balances out. Later! :-)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers, Recap 32: Murder on the Andorian Express

Oh my god, you have no idea how good it feels to get back to doing these things. Finals totally SUCK.

So today's episode is "Murder on the Andorian Express." Sounds interesting! And it doesn't mention Buzzwang! Double win!

Where's Poirot When You Need Him?

Themesong! God, I missed this. Zozo and Waldo! Zach's arm! Niko's Jazz hands! Doc's programs! Goose and his instruments of violence! Yay!

Our episode starts at BETA mountain, Ranger One is fueled and the Galaxy Ranger theme-song is continuing in the background. Usually a good sign.

Niko and Doc are in the cockpit. Hi!!! Missed you guys so much! Apparently they almost gave the mission to Goose, according to Doc.

Damn. I like Doc and Niko, but honestly, after the weeks I've had, I could really go for some supertrooper-borne destruction.

BETA station also seems to function as a space airport judging by the boarding call for the S.S. Christie bound for Andor.

Heh. The S.S. Melville in the Moby Dick episode, and the S.S. Christie in this one. I wonder if there's a trend. A fellow with a suspiciously European ancestor announces that they are traveling in the most luxurious space liner ever built. We see Doc and Niko pass some pink haired lady in black, while a bigger fellow in a cape and a blond lady follow close behind.

A pendulant brings up the rear tugging a cart of baggage as big as he is. Yeesh, that's classism for you. And Niko and Doc are going along with it! For shame! You'd think a psychic could tow her own bags. Anyway, according to that poor Pendulant, once they're on Andor, they'll be taken immediately to tour a defense facility.

Hey, wasn't that guy a robot a few episodes ago? Also the blond woman next to him is totally wearing a white fur coat and a blue sweat band. God, I'm glad I'm too young to remember most of the '80s.

Anyway, he declares that if the defense shield is all it's trumped up to be, he'll see that it's installed on Earth at once.

Um, really, even if it's not, considering how often Earth gets attacked, it might be a good idea to get one. I'm just saying.

Suspiciously European Accented Guy who's name I can't be bothered to remember announces that there'll be no need for Galaxy Rangers.

Right. Because the shield never breaks or anything. And the Galaxy Rangers don't have off-planet missions. I hate you Accent Guy. You're a flipping moron. I think I'd rather have Wheiner. His girlfriend has a very high-pitched voice too.

Premier Dutch! That's his name! Thank you Doc. Doc is, by the way, understandably annoyed that Dutch wants to put them out of a job. Niko is calmer and points out that the defense shield is vital for protecting Earth.

Hey, Niko. Lay off the sedatives. I like you lots, but sometimes it's perfectly okay to be annoyed.

As they make their way on a moving walkway, the tiny monkey thing that usually belongs with Kidd suddenly leaps through and onto Doc's head and off again, racing ahead of them. Niko and Doc recognize it too, just before Kidd comes racing behind them.

Kidd pushes past Dutch and the trophy girl to exchange pleasantries with Doc and Niko. Apparently, he's on vacation. Hmm, somehow I suspect he's up to something.

And now, Nimrod. Okay, how the hell is Nimrod not in jail or something? Granted, for all of Kidd's schemes, he's pretty much the Harry Mudd of the GR universe, but Nimrod actually had televised death games!

The League of Planets' court system obviously sucks ass. And that's my official proto-lawyerly opinion.

He babbles something about danger lurking and death waiting within. Dutch's trophy girlfriend heliums "What was that?!" Dutch shrugs it off with an "I'm sure he's traveling coach." Dude, your trophy girlfriend is smarter than you.

Even with the sweatband.

Also, way to be classist, dickwad.

Niko and Doc are smart enough to be concerned, but are still pretty tolerant considering this is the guy who tried to death-game them all. Yeesh.

The Christie takes off with pretty rich-people type music. Actually, it's one of those waltz-ish songs that I know I've heard before but can't immediately recognize. This irritates me.

Dutch doesn't seem to understand the point of protective escorts, and tells them that he's got important work in his study and they'll be sumoned if he needs them. Doc is fine with that though.

I suspect I understand why Goose was not given this job. He probably would have shot Dutch by now.

Dutch does show a hint of a sense of humor though, snorting a laugh at Doc's response. Niko repeats the "And to think, they almost gave this mission to Goose."

Damnit. Stop teasing me. I want explosions.

Doc points out a strange bow-wrapped package in front of Niko's room. She picks it up as Doc suggests that it might be Dutch's way of saying 'Thanks.' Niko doubts that.

Doc follows her in, suggesting it's fruit, as behind the corner, Nimrod watches with glee and chants "Pretty paper, ribbon and twine; beware of gifts that might be thine."


Inside the room, which has twin beds, so I have no idea why Doc assumed the package was for Niko, Doc's urging her to open the package. Niko on the other hand thinks that it doesn't feel right. Doc doesn't listen to the psychic and opens the present. A robotic thing pops out and blasts the two in red energy, there's a close up on one of the badges, and then the thing explodes, sending Doc careening into a table and Niko onto one of the beds.

Doc wants to know if she can get a fix on who sent it, and she snaps back with some irritation that that's what she was doing. Heh, irritated Niko. She taps her badge and gasps. Her power charge is gone. Uh-oh!

Doc tries his charge which is working, but the tweakers themselves sound stoned. Doc is disconcerted and grumbles a "What if someone needs our help?"

Promptly, someone yells for help! I'm utterly shocked!

They run down the hall, Doc overshooting a little and backtracking comedically. I totally do that too. They run to the door, where Dutch is calling for help. Niko yells in to him but the door is open. They enter. It's a dark room but quite swanky. Niko finds the light switch and they find Dutch sprawled over his desk! Eek! There's a pen by his hand, and he's lying on papers.

In the doorway, Kidd's monkey thing babbles something that sounds like "No shoes for you!" Fuck if I know. I hate that thing. It darts off running, Doc and Niko in hot pursuit.

Um, shouldn't one of you examine Dutch and be sure he's not dead? And/or secure the crime scene? You're crappy cops.

The monkey thing promptly finds and scales Kidd. Naturally, Doc and Niko command him to freeze. Niko demands to know where he was when Premier Dutch was murdered.

Um, are you sure he was murdered? I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, Kidd either pretends or genuinely doesn't know what they're talking about. Niko wonders if Kidd isn't a bit overdressed for bed time.

Honestly, they're kind of leaping to conclusions here. Granted, Kidd's a scoundrel, but so far, he hasn't shown an inclination to murder. Besides, the only evidence they have is monkey taunting.

Kidd turns the question back on them. Doc points out that they didn't kill him. Kidd points out that all they've got on him is wild guesswork.

You know, if only there was a body to examine and determine cause of death from! Kidd wisely exits into his room, but as the Rangers leave, peeks out and laughs evilly.

We get a brief shot of the ship moving through hyperspace, then Doc and Niko consoling poor trophy girlfriend who is actually, apparently, trophy wife. Doc expresses his sympathy, while Niko offers water. Trophy wife thanks her, but gets it herself from the room service transporter, which can beam up anything she wants from the kitchen. Ooo! Clue?

Doc is envious as they don't have the nifty transports in coach. Mrs. Dutch still can't believe anyone would want to harm her "Dutchy-Poo." Niko drawls that it's hard to believe, but then asks if anyone could have gotten in the study. Mrs. Dutch can't see how.

Did he have a room service transporter in there?

Apparently they needed keycards to get in and only Gooble and Snivel had cards. Doc finds "Snivel" significant for some reason. Mrs. Dutch is all "I said that?" Doc cheerfully thanks her for her help.

Doc heads to another room and orders "Open up, Snivel." He does not seem to be home. Doc snarks about Snivel getting a first class cabin. Niko suggests taking a look inside before he gets back. So 4th Amendment then? Duly noted.

Doc yoinks out his canteen o'tweaker. He tries to coax them out to pick the lock. They're not responding. Niko pushes the door open as it's not locked. Doc has an amusing "If you want to open it THAT way," response and they go in.

Niko opens a drawer and finds a keycard. Doc can top that though, as he finds a gun under a pillow that's been fired recently.

Snivel is indeed the pendulant, we discover, as he walks into the room humming to himself. Doc tells him to halt in the name of the law and he flees for it. Doc and Niko chase. Snivel climbs a ladder.

When Doc and Niko reach the ladder, Doc instinctively asks Niko where they went. Niko, amusingly, snaps back "What am I, psychic?" They split up, her running down the hall and him climbing the ladder. He promptly runs into Nimrod, who really is one scary mofo in the dark.

Nimrod gives him a cryptic, rhyming warning about a fiend in disguise that I have no intention of transcribing here. Apparently the murderer will strike more than once though. Doc's "Don't give me that alien jive" is pretty entertaining.

Snivel runs down a hall and into a room. Niko sees it, and I'm trying to figure out how exactly the interior of the Christie works. Doc comes from the other direction. He urges Snivel to give himself up. Snivel doesn't want to be sent back.

In a strange room, a cloaked person listens to Doc demanding to know who killed Premier Dutch. I'm calling that to be Dutch. Or Goose. Because they did mention him twice this episode. The word Danger flashes across a monitor.

Then airlock doors open promptly pulling Snivel across the room. Damn. Doc races for the control tower telling Snivel to hold on. I would be very impressed if they yoinked Snivel out into space. Snivel needlessly shouts that there's a dangerous killer loose. I think they can tell. Also, would you really be able to shout when hanging out into vacuum?

Niko tells Doc to hurry, and Doc notes that he's trying but running on manual, remember? Then he presses a button and the doors close.

Um, Doc, there's a such thing as relying too much on your powers. One button.

Niko notes that Snivel's probably not the killer since someone tried to prevent him from talking to them. Gasp. Logic! Doc thinks it's ridiculous, but the spinny blade that just misses him and slams into a window changes his mind. Actually, now that it's in the wall it looks like a plastic chakram.

The cloaked fellow runs off. I'm guessing then it's not Goose. And it's too short/thin to be Kidd. So I'm calling it as Dutch. Or the wife. That would be AWESOME.

Doc notes that he's been wrong before.

In his bedroom, Kidd is asleep with the little monkey thing at the foot of his bed. Niko bursts in, turning on the light, announcing that this is his wake-up call. She holds up the spiked chakram thing and asks if he's lost any of them lately.

Kidd's sleeping cap is adorable, by the way. Kidd demands to know where Niko got it. Niko snaps that she got it from a wall, two centimeters from her head. (Metric count! So far, that's Goose and Niko using metrics, Zach using customary, and I haven't noticed what Doc uses yet. Awesome.)

Kidd asks if she saw who threw it. She snaps that she supposes he didn't, with all due skepticism. Kidd retorts that it's not his style. Which is true. It's really not, and they ought to know that, which means something else is going on. Niko just snaps that they've got their eyes on him.

Kidd pulls a radio out as soon as she leaves and calls "Chicken Little to Hen House." Apparently everything is proceeding as planned. He's being paid a lot of money for this plan.

Doc is trying to question Nimrod in coach. Nimrod is playing an electric stringed instrument and making him cringe. Doc loses it much later than I would. And demands answers. Nimrod recites off Yes, no, he doesn't know, and so on. Doc demands that he wait for a question and wants to know what he knows about the murder.

In Nimrod's only actually funny line through this whole episode, he responds: "It was successful." He sings about a "clue that isn't a clue." And something about finding it with care, or it'll make its presence known by not being there. Okaaay.

Doc and Niko enter the room. Niko protests that they searched there already and indeed the evidence is bagged on the desk. So I suppose they did finally go back and do their jobs after chasing Kidd's idiot monkey. Good.

Niko asks what they're looking for. Doc says they'll know when they don't find it. Niko quips that that makes sense.

Doc finds a panel, pops it open on his head. Niko expresses doubts about Doc going on the word of Nimrod. But Doc believes ("Man's Intuition" awesome.) that Nimrod knows something they don't. Doc then squirts ink into his face. Niko is unphased though and contemplates the whole "isn't here" thing as she looks across the room. She wants to know how they'll find it. He says that they're Galaxy Rangers and always get their man.

Then he tips back in the chair. Doc's slapstick is starting to irk me. Niko points out that the killer could still be anyone. Doc remembers what Squeegie said: "No Shields for you."

OH. Okay. That's what he said.

Doc points out that whoever killed Dutch wanted to keep Earth from getting the defense shield. Niko wants to know who did it. Doc's getting to that.

You know, all this getting into each other's faces is kind of hot. Heh. Doc points out that someone wanted them to think it was Snivel. She points out that he was the only one with the keycard. And Doc glances down and then tells her that they have to assemble everyone together.

I'll be honest, I have no idea who it is at this point. Okay, show, I'm intrigued.

Now in Doc's cabin, all the passengers are there, and Doc channels Monsieur Poirot by calling their attention. He announces that they know who killed the Premier, and it's someone in the room. Niko adds that the key piece of evidence is in the study and will remain there on Andor. Nimrod thinks it's a bluff, and Mrs. Dutch doubts they've solved anything. Kidd thinks it's always exciting with the Rangers around, and goes to leave to play shuffleboard, apparently.

Mrs. Dutch inserts a key card and enters the study, flipping on the lights. She is shocked to see the Rangers there. Proving she's an idiot, because really, where else would they be. They're shocked to see her too. Kidd suddenly appears at the door as well, with another Mrs. Dutch!

It's very "Janet!" "Dr. Scott!" "Janet!" "Brad!" "Rocky!" at this moment.

Apparently Mrs. Dutch's name is Madonna. Unless Niko's making a reference I don't recognize. Either way, Kidd found the real Mrs. Dutch in a supply closet. She'd been in there all night!

Niko notices the amulet around the fake Mrs. Dutch's throat. A Slaver Amulet!

Seriously, where the hell is the Queen getting all these treacherous humans and why the hell doesn't she just Slaver Lord THEM?! I mean, Kilbane, okay. We don't know if she CAN Slaver Lord a Supertrooper, and he might break her machine if she tried. But Lazarus? This chick? HONESTLY.

And why couldn't Niko have noticed the amulet before? Mrs. Dutch was wearing it in earlier scenes!

Faux Mrs. Dutch demands in an echoing Queen voice that Niko get away from her. Niko rips off the necklace and it becomes a slaver lord.

Oh okay. Not a human, just a disguise. It's the Reaper. The Queen's top assassin, according to Kidd. Cloak guy! I was wrong in both guesses! Dude crossdresses well. Anyway, Doc announces that he's under arrest. But the Reaper punches him and Kid and runs out. They chase after of course.

The poor bellhop is loading luggage, while the Reaper steals the cart! To make things worse, he's about to get another cart, but Doc steals that one! Poor fellow! Niko leaps on the back.

Kidd comes running and asks the bellhop which way they went. The bellhop points, and Kidd is off.

The chase is indeed merry, with luggage thrown as obstacles. Nimrod jumps out in front of the Reaper with a crossbow.

Okay, show. I'm officially confused.

Nimrod is knocked down and the chase proceeds. Niko monologues for the slow people in the audience that the Queen had Dutch killed because he was pushing for a defense system. Doc speaks for the rest of us by saying "I knew that." Heh.

They make it to what, I'd guess, is the power room. The Reaper leaps off just as the cart crashes and falls into the pit of fire or whatever it is that looks hot and deadly. Doc manages to stop it just in time. Then the chase commences on foot, to Galaxy Ranger theme music. Yay!

The Reaper's on a catwalk above them, and Niko notes, surprisingly chillingly that they should try to take the guy alive. They shoot the cables, causing him to dangle perilously above the fire pit of doom. (Or Matter-Antimatter grid. Whatever.)

Doc tries to get the Reaper to take his hand, but the Reaper is all "Earth will never win!!" He falls and is obliterated.

Finally, we see the ship exit hyperdrive. Mrs. Dutch explains that Snivel had run away because he didn't have Earth citizenship papers. Dude. Rich politicians hiring illegal aliens. Heh.

Mrs. Dutch explains that there's one thing she doesn't understand. One thing? You're better than me, sweetheart. She still doesn't know how the Reaper got in the study.

Doc explains that Fake Madonna transferred it from the study to her room and back. I'm still not sure that makes sense, but I won't think about it that much.

As they leave the ship, Kidd is happy. Apparently his clients had wanted the Reaper dealt with. Niko says Kidd's lucky they don't arrest him. Kidd asks for what? My guess, obstruction? She asks why Nimrod was on the cruise. He likes the thrill of the hunt! And he enjoyed the clues.

Okay. How did Nimrod and Kidd KNOW the clues?

Anyway, Mrs. Dutch thanks them. They try to say nice things about her husband, and stumble. Heh. But then...the premier comes out of the crowd!


He scoffs at the idea of using a commercial space liner for this mission. They were traveling with his android decoy. ...

Okay, whatever, honestly, I'm tired enough to accept it. Bastard thing to do to your wife though.

She's glad he's alive though, as she looks dreadful in black. He asks the Rangers if they're coming, and Niko wryly repeats that "To think, they almost gave this mission to Goose."

That would have been a much better episode, I think.


Darnit. I was all set to praise them for actually killing off Dutch, when they brought him back. Oh well.

This episode was mostly missed opportunity for me. There were the seeds of a clever mystery, but far too much contrivance and reliance upon the main characters being idiots. You're telling me they couldn't tell a dead ROBOT from a dead human?

Kidd and Nimrod as red herrings were fine, but it vastly outstripped plausibility. How DID they know all the clues?

I liked that we got to see more downsides of over-reliance on their abilities. Niko and Doc are both highly intelligent people, with gifts that enhance their perceptive abilities. And they've gotten lazy and complacent about using them. It's a weakness that neither Zach nor Shane really have, because of their powers.

Without the Thunderbolt, Zach's just out a big gun. And without his powers, Shane can't take as much damage. But that's pretty much it. Neither's power lets them take any shortcuts in the thinking department.

I like it as a character touch though. Niko and Doc are scary-smart, but too used to taking shortcuts. Hopefully, they've learned from this.

I liked seeing murder as subject matter. It's a bit more mature than most of the cartoons at the same time. I still feel cheated with Dutch alive.

Finally, I really liked Niko's "Try to take him alive." I like the acknowledgement that as Rangers, deadly force is an issue that would come up, even if we don't see it. And I liked that the assassin died without us ever knowing anything more about him.

It still would have been a better episode with Goose. More explosions. Less "mystery." And he'd have figured out Dutch was an android the first time he shot him. Heh.

Friday, May 15, 2009

A Thought

You know, I've read a couple of X-Men and Star Trek crossovers over the years. I've always felt that there were missed opportunities though.

Mostly because I always wanted to see one scene happen. I want to get every (living) member of the Summers family tree on the ship. With the automatic DNA scan. And have the X-Men have to try to explain that.

I suspect hilarity would follow. Or aaangst. Either way, I would be totally amused.

The best part of crossovers is, in my opinion, when various members actually have to explain how the lunacy of their universes works.

Failing that, a Stargate crossover where Jean and Daniel bond over frequent deaths would be amusing too. :-)