Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

I'm back! And reading! And maybe even blogging! No promises!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Meme Answers

Well, normally I have the post up much sooner. I overslept. :-)

Anyway. Here are my meme answers. I hope they entertain you!

--

All comic book characters this time!

1. Hal Jordan
2. Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine/Contessa Valentina de Allegro Fontaine
3. Wally West
4. Guy Gardner
5. Power Girl
6. Nightwing
7. Ultron
8. a Nick Fury LMD
9. Rip Hunter
10. Steve Rogers


A bit male dominated, but that's okay. :-)

Let's begin.

--

WM asks:

1,2,6,9. Who would crack a smile first watching a guy get hit in the crotch in America's Funniest Home Videos?

Okay, Hal, the Contessa, Nightwing, and Rip Hunter.

Hal of course. The Contessa's too classy, Nightwing would angst about it, and Rip Hunter knew it was going to happen. :-)

dan asks:

3,4,5,7.
Who would be the guy getting hit in the crotch in America's Funniest Home Videos?


Nightwing!

Oh wait. Sorry, he's not a number. Still it would totally happen so he can angst.

So: Wally, Guy, Power Girl, or Ultron...

Probably Guy, it's the sort of thing that happens to him. But he won't angst about it. Because he is not Dick Grayson.

2 and 7 have a presidential debate. Who wins?

The Contessa is a better public speaker, certainly, but I suspect Ultron, because the Contessa is an Italian national, and the Ultron-bots would hack the vote anyway.

The Fury bots might vote en masse, but they've probably all been shot in the back again.

5 and 9 have a vice-presidential debate. Who cares?

Power Girl and Rip Hunter?

A lot of horny young men. Also, mad scientists hoping for more funding for time travel experimentation.

A Contessa/Power Girl or Ultron/Rip Hunter ticket would be kind of awesome.

Due a time-travel experiment gone wrong (not that they ever go right...) it turns out that one of 3,6 or 8 is secretly really the parent of 10. Which would freak 10 out most?

Wally West, Nightwing, or a Nick Fury LMD...

I think the LMD would take the most explaining, but considering that Nick Fury's involved, I think Steve would have to acknowledge it's possible.

Nightwing would freak him out more. Because angsty time/dimension travel aside, if Nightwing's your dad, that means Batman is your adopted Grandfather. And that's just freaky for ANYONE.

8, 9, 10: Who would you choose to do your next assignment for you?

An LMD, Rip, or Steve. Depends on the subject really. If it were civics: Steve. If it's mad science: Rip (provided of course he doesn't reference developments that haven't happened yet.)

Actually though, my next assignment is in my professional ethics class. So I think I'll pick the Nick Fury LMD. Because no ethical dilemma can't be solved with robot duplicates.


You've been chosen for a 5 year rocket trip to space (and probably back too but y'know how unreliable these fictional space rockets can be so no promises) and you get to take 2,5 or 9 with you. Who goes?


The Contessa, Power Girl, or Rip Hunter. Hmm. Rip's got more technical knowledge, but I'll go with Power Girl. Because she's Power Girl.

Best blogger: 2 or 7?

Ultron, no question.

Most likely to injure themselves in a household accident: 1 or 9?

Since Hal Jordan is an option here, there's really no contest.

Most likely to make a surprisingly tasty cake: 3 or 6?

Wally would probably get distracted halfway through. Whereas man-angst allows for much time to check the baked goods.

And he WAS raised by Alfred. So Dick.

Most likely to survive being dumped from a moving car into the mean streets of Chicago with only their wits, a donut and a map of 1924 Brussels: 4, 8 or 10?

Hmm, Guy, a Furybot, or Steve in Chicago. I think Steve would make lots of friends, Guy would get in lots of bar fights, and the Furybot would get shot in the back. Because that's what it does.

But I suppose if I must pick most likely, it'll be Steve. Because he's actually been to Brussels.

Greg Saunders asks:

2,4,8, and 10. Which of these will be America's next top chef?

I think I'll go with the Contessa. Guy and Steve are more inclined to plainer fare, I'd reckon. While the Nick Fury LMD is hindered by the fact that 1) he's a robot and 2) he's modeled after Nick Fury. So without a splash of Helmut Spargle's secret liquid, my money's on the Contessa.

scott asks:

Watch out! Bears are attacking! How do 3, 5, and 10 react?

Well, Steve will try to gallantly distract the bears from Kara, who will be annoyed and start educating Steve on how she can take care of herself thank you. And Steve will respectfully listen, while still trying to protect her because he's silly that way.

Wally is busy snickering. Fortunately at some point before the tirade started, Wally probably zipped the bears back into the forest/zoo cage/whatever.

1 vs. 4. The game: Clue

I call Hal Jordan somehow injuring himself on the game board.

7 vs. 5. The game: Calf roping.

Ultron vs. Power Girl in roping calves. I suspect Ultron would just make robot calves, so Power Girl. She might have gotten lasso lessons from Diana.

9 vs. 2. The game: Foxy Boxing.

Hmm. They are both quite foxy, but Rip's wardrobe leaves much to be desired. And the Contessa totally dropped Nick Fury when they first met. So I'll go with her.

6 vs. Nick Fury. The game: Seducing 4.

Nightwing vs. Fury, seducing Guy Gardner.

Ow. My eyes. Well we know they both like redheads. Guy's a DC character, so my long running theory about all Marvel characters wanting to bang Nick Fury doesn't apply.

I think my money's on Nightwing. Because Fury HAS his own cranky redhead on staff, and HIS has a fetching mustache. Also. It would totally annoy Batman.

8 has become The King (or Queen) of the Hobos.

Didn't that kind of happen to the real Nick Fury in Nick Fury vs. SHIELD? Oh wait, they got shot first. But they would TOTALLY have made him their king given time.

Anyway, I suspect that, provided he doesn't get shot in the back first, he will bring them to SHIELD, where they can be trained to be awesome spy-hobos and join the assassin-nuns to save the world.

Ragtime asks:

Professor X will turn over leadership of the Classic (1960s) X-Men to either 1, 2, or 3. Whom does he choose?

Hal Jordan, the Contessa, or Wally West. Egads.

While it might be hilarious to see Warren Worthington and Hal Jordan on the same team, I think I'll have to go with Contessa. As she's the only one I would trust in a leadership position period.

2. 4 and 6 have a street fight for possession of Guy Gardner's Green Lantern ring, which he lost in a bar bet. Who are you rooting for?

Oops. 4 is actually Guy Gardner. Oh well. I vote for Guy of course. Nightwing would be crap with a Lantern ring.

3. When Dr. Don Blake hits the ground with his walking stick, he no longer turns into Thor. Now he turns into either 5, 7, or 9. Explain why your choice makes perfect sense.

Power Girl, Ultron or Rip Hunter. Well, Power Girl of course. She's blond. Also, she is powerful. And I'm pretty sure at least one of her confused origins might have involved possible divinity. If not, I'm sure it can be retconned in.

4. When 10 e-mails a profession of true love to 8, 10 accidentally hits "reply all," sending a copy to 5. How does 5 react?

I think that Power Girl would be fairly tolerant, but also annoyed that she finally meets a thoughtful gentlemanly fellow who doesn't mind the occasional feminist rebuke, and of course he's in love with a damn robot.

LurkerWithout asks:

1 and 10 play mixed doubles tennis with 2 and 9, who wins?

Hmm, well Steve's a super-soldier, but I don't think he's ever played Tennis. And he's paired with the klutz of the two universes. So my money's on the Contessa and Rip. Just because neither of them will give themselves a concussion on a tennis net.

1, 3, 5 and 7 have to put on a show in high school. What do they do?

Hal, Wally, Power Girl and Ultron.

Hmm.

A Streetcar Named Desire.

(It makes sense in my head.)

2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 go for groceries. What breakfast cereal do they pick?

The Contessa, Guy, Nightwing, a Furybot, and Steve Rogers...

The Contessa: Golden Grahams
Guy: Count Chocula (because there's never a time when vampire/bat jokes aren't appropriate.)
Nightwing: Count Chocula (to fuel his bat-inadequacy)
Furybot: I'll go with Lucky Charms. :-)
Steve: Maybe Frosted Flakes?

SallyP asks:

Tim Gunn comes in to advise #'s 2,6 and 9 on their respective wardrobes. Who loses it, and bonks him on the head?

Well, the Contessa dresses phenomenally, so I can't see him saying much to her. Rip and Nightwing however are fairly disasterous fashion wise.

I think Rip would be more apt to just bonk him though. Or sic him on Booster.

It's Autumn, and the leaves are falling in #'s l,3,4 and 10's yards. How do they clean them up, and do rakes even enter the equation?

Well, Steve probably uses a rake like a nice fellow. As to the others: Wally uses the speed force to cheat, of course. Hal and Guy have rings and will probably turn it into yet another competition. Hal will win and be a dick about it.


#'s 5,7 and 8 decide to go square dancing. Who ends up with a sprained ankle?


Ultron.

Anonymous asks:

1 gets launched into space to watch bad movies. Which 2 get picked to help keep the sanity?

Probably Guy (4) and Kara (5). Mostly because he's used to Guy by now (and no one tirades like Guy) and because Kara is hot. :-)

2,9,7 get picked to lead the Avengers. Who do they pick to fill out the roster?

Hmm, the Contessa, Ultron and Rip Hunter. I would imagine it would involve a lot of robots and time travellers. :-)

As well as dysfunctional father-son relationships.

The Contessa may end up recruiting a lot of cranky chain-smokers.


3 and 6 are hired to write Teen Titians. What changes do they make?


Wally West and Nightwing...

Well, I think Bart Allen would be back and Tim Drake would finally get laid.

4, 8, 5, and 10 have to double date. Who picks who?

Well, Kara will pick Steve I'd imagine. As Guy and the Furybot will be very annoying and Steve is a gentleman.

Guy and the Furybot would probably have fun annoying the fuck out of them though.

k.d. bryan asks:

2 and 3 VS. 8 and 9 in a triathlon of County Fair Contests - a Pie Eating Contest, Riding Lawnmower Race and a Three-Legged Race. Naturally, the duos can decide which of them tackle the first two challenges but they must work together for the last one.
Who wins?


The Contessa and Wally vs. the LMD and Rip Hunter.

Well Wally's got a speedster appetite so I think he'll be the pie eater on his end. The Furybot has a mechanical stomach, so he'll be the pick on his end. Wally will win.

Rip Hunter's ridden a dinosaur, so he gets to ride the lawnmower. The Contessa has not, sadly. I suspect Rip wins.

I think, given that Wally's a speedster, he and the Contessa will win the three legged race.

Willow-bee the Cat asks:

3 and 7 are stuck on a desert island in the middle of nowhere. Which of the two figures out how to get them back to civilization?

Well, assuming Wally can't run across water. I expect Ultron builds many little Ultron-bots and gets them back home.

Or sends Wally back home and remakes the desert island into a new seekrit base.

1, 4, and 9 are (for whatever reason) taking a night class together. The three of them are assigned to work together on a group project about the evolution of techno. What happens?

Well, Hal keeps skipping out for dates. Which pisses Guy off. However, Guy and Rip do actually finish the project.

They fail though, because Rip keeps referencing technology that doesn't exist yet or inventing things on the spot, and Guy's answer to everything is the Green Lantern Ring.

2, 5, 6, and 10 compete on Project Runway. What happens?

Oh dear lord. Well, the Contessa likely wins as she actually has taste and class. Kara's not too bad off though, and while cleavage baring, her designs are at least functional.

Nightwing's designs are a trainwreck of color clashing and hideous lapels. While Steve's involve, if we're lucky, tiny wings and stars and stripes. And if we're not lucky, they involve man-cleavage.

Mana G asks:

3 and 5 get married. Who are the best man/maid of honor, 1, 6, or 8? Who would be most likely to burst into the wedding confessing their love for 3, 2 or 9? Would 5 be more likely to wake up the morning of the wedding next to 4 or 10?

Wally and Kara huh? That almost makes sense!

Dick would be the man of honor, easily. Rip might be more likely to declare his love for Wally. (Wally can run through time after all).

And as much as Kara would probably prefer to wake up next to Steve, she'd totally wake up next to Guy with a massive hangover.

Scandalous!

Will Staples asks:

7 and 10 are on a date. Where do they go for dinner, and what movie do they watch afterward?

Ultron and Steve hmm? They'll probably go some place nice and home-y for dinner. Maybe a family restaurant like Applebees. Then they'll go see the Matrix trilogy. Ultron has a thing for Hugo Weaving and keeps booing whenever Neo's on the screen.

rob s. asks:

2, 4, 6, and 9 are Reservoir Dogs: Who's Mr. White, Mr. Orange, Mr. Blonde, and Mr. Pink?

I've never actually seen that movie, but going off the Wikipedia page...

Guy's crazy so he gets to be Mr. Blonde.
Contessa's a spy so she gets to be Mr. Orange.
Nightwing's angsty and good with the blind faith, so he gets to be Mr. White.
And Rip's good at reminding everyone to keep on track, so he gets to be Mr. Pink.

Anonymous asks:

6, 2, 4, and 8 are teleported into New York's Grand Central Station and all forced to go through through the subway system. While the city is celebrating a sports victory. How do they manage? Who survives with their sanity intact?

Well Guy and Fury (well, the Furybot) are fairly crazy as is. However, Guy does like sports so possibly his spirits would be high enough not to scoop people out of his way with his ring.

The Furybot's more likely to shout obscenities at people, but this is New York, so who'll notice? He'll probably get shot in the back by one of Nick's enemies, because that's how Furybots roll.

The Contessa's a slippery sort who can probably stoically endure. With some gratuitous violence to people who annoy her. And much as I hate to praise Nightwing, being from Gotham and dealing with that mess, probably means he'll be fairly adept in the subway.

Maybe he'll mope about Batman doing it better though.

Somehow, 9 caused 7 to possess 5's body. 7 and 5 have to share. How do they pass the time until 3 can fix things?

Rip causing Ultron to possess Kara. I suspect they'll spend most of their time building things, as Kara used to run a computer company as I recall, and Ultron likes building mini-Ultrons.

At one point Ultron will totally try to seduce Hank Pym. Because it's creepy.

1 doesn't know it, but there's a surprise birthday party in store for them. Which two would plan/execute this best? Worst?

Guy and Kara would probably plan this best. Guy is his good friend/nemesis after all. And Kara's both got a good head on her shoulders, and a very nice rack with which to distract Hal.

Worse would probably be Wally and Dick, because Wally has way too much admiration for Hal and would totally let things slip.

Though thinking about it. A party thrown by a Furybot would totally rock.

Flidget Jerome asks:

2, 3 and 7 find a baby abandoned on their doorstep. What do they do with it?

Oh dear. The Contessa, Wally and Ultron, huh?

I don't know how the Contessa is with children, but Wally IS actually a fairly decent (if unconventional) father. Ultron would of course want to cyborg it into another weapon, a.la Victor. I'd imagine between them though, the Contessa and Wally could protect it.

And Nick Fury as a babysitter is a very scary thought.

WM asks:

1,2,4,5,6
Bucky gets killed. Who would inherit the Shield, and why?


Tsk. How morbid. Hal, the Contessa, Guy, Kara or Nightwing.

I guess I'll have to go with the Contessa as she's the only one in the Marvel Universe. Failing that, I suppose, Nightwing, as he's the most used to the idea of taking on an overwhelming legacy.

He might even be fairly good at it, since Cap kind of combines Batman type fighting with Superman type inspiration.

He'd angst too damn much though. Buck up little soldier!

7 Comments:

  • At October 18, 2008 7:16 PM, Blogger x-man75 said…

    First off, great site, I just found it, and this post had me in stitches. Anyway, are you telling me that Tim Drake has never gotten any action!!! Jeez, hasn't he had like 500 girlfriends, and Bruce Wayne as an adopted father?? Hmmmm, no wonder he was so intent on resurrecting Conner...

     
  • At October 18, 2008 8:42 PM, Anonymous Scott said…

    Awesome. Ending my week with giggles is a pretty nice way to spend Saturday night. :)

     
  • At October 18, 2008 9:48 PM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Utterly hilarious.

     
  • At October 19, 2008 1:56 AM, Blogger Duskdog said…

    I absolutely must watch the show where Hal, Guy, and Kara are blasted into space and forced to watch bad movies. And also, Hal playing Clue and injuring himself on the game board. I can only imagine the "Hal... in the living room... with a yellow ceiling tile!" jokes that would arise.

    Also, Ultron in Power Girl's body seducing Hank. He totally would.

     
  • At October 19, 2008 4:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow! That was... tremendous!
    WM

     
  • At October 19, 2008 5:29 AM, Anonymous Dan said…

    Very, very nicely done :-)

     
  • At October 19, 2008 7:22 PM, Blogger K. D. Bryan said…

    Dear God. A speedster vs a robot in a pie-eating contest would mean metric friggin' tons of pie getting consumed until the LMD burns out or Wally gets full. It's both awesome and terrifying to think about.

    Cool answers! I might do this on my much ignored blog now too. :)

     

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