Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers, Recap 33: Lady of Light

Finally, I have time to do another recap. :-) Work's great, but it doesn't leave a lot of time for recapping. But...weekend, so yay for me!

This week's episode is "Lady of Light."

An Alien Turned Me Vegetarian

So this episode starts with some kind of glowing rift opening in space, with a flaming sphere of something-or-other emerging from it. It zips past a tiny satellite looking thing making it beep alarmedly.

On Beta, the gang is receiving the reports of the meteor, which apparently is alarmingly dense. Waldo thinks it's fascinating, of course. Niko notes lifeform readings in the meteor. And high levels of pneumonic power. Pneumonic? Mnemonic? Fuck if I know. (If you know what it's supposed to be, feel free to supply it in the comments.)

Anyway, according to Waldo, folks theorize that if the pneumonic universe ever comes in contact with our atomic universe, they'd "cancel each other out." Hm. Well, no cancelling yet. But the meteor hasn't hit anything yet.

I hope this episode will have more characters than just Niko. I like Niko, but her episodes tend to bore me. What can I say? I like explosions and violence.

Anyway, Niko notes that the being is heading for Tortuna. It's always Tortuna. And indeed, we get a nice clip of the ball-o'-whatsits in space, crashing and bouncing on the surface of Tortuna. I'm oddly reminded of that one Futurama episode, even though it won't be written for at least another 15 or so years from when this episode was written. (My number is probably off, but I'm too damn lazy to look it up. Deal. :-))

It skids to a stop and explodes, making a nice crater. In the middle of the crater a strange translucent woman appears. She's wearing a glowy crown. She turns to look at one of those weird lizardy gophery things that Shane Gooseman punched in the second episode. It's chewing some bone. The glowy lady notes this with a nervous "Something tells me this isn't Kanzacks."

She's got a slightly Judy Garlandy voice to boot. Which makes me laugh. The lizard thing starts stalking over, while she muses about its strangeness. She asks it if it is the "spellmaster" that brought her here.

Somehow I'm thinking the spellmaster would look a little more literate. Or you know, sentient. Apparently it DOES talk though and notes that she looks tasty. Huh. She tries to question the hungry thing, and when it gets a little too close, zaps it in the face. Well done!

The glowy lady wonders if she's not in another universe and pulls out a small book, then asks if it speaks Spanish, in Spanish. Which is conveniently the only thing I understand in Spanish. So I can answer "no" and confuse people.

The lizard thing thinks she's a wiseguy and steps forward menacingly, while she flips through the guide book looking for "Atomic Universe languages." They speak Spanish in her universe? Okay! Meanwhile the lizard thing is opening its mouth wide.

Suddenly she disappears, while the creature gets at her crown and tosses it into a nearby body of water. She reappears again, annoyed, and points at the thing. Something isn't "tracking" though. Then the lizard thing glows and changes slightly. It becomes a bit bigger, but more placid looking. The alien lady has apparently made it herbivorous, telling it to eat greens.

That seems mean to do in a desert planet like Tortuna. Still here is at least enough close by to munch.

The alien lady realizes her crown is missing, and notes that she doesn't feel much like herself and something is "terribly wrong."

Back on BETA, Shane and Niko are standing in front of Walsh's desk. No Doc or Zach, which makes me sad, but I am cheered by the presence of Shane Gooseman, as it means the probability of gratuitous violence in this episode has suddenly tripled! Yay!

Walsh is concerned about the "Universe in danger" thing. Waldo explains. Apparently "Neumons" (or mnemons? Pnemons? Whatever.) decay in this universe and set up a dangerous chain reaction, and disrupt atoms. Walsh asks if the creature is energy or matter, probably because if it's matter than Shane Gooseman can shoot it.

Aw, he can probably shoot it either way.

Niko answers both, at the same time that Waldo answers "neither". That was...decidedly unhelpful, guys. Waldo elaborates that physics don't really apply. Walsh asks the practical question: how do we stop it? Waldo answers that they must return to being to its own universe.

Goose points out that it would take a powerful explosion to open a door into a neumonic universe.

...I don't really want to know how you know that, Gooseman. But that grin tells me I'm going to be very happy with this episode. It does explain why Goose is in this episode though.

Waldo suspects that someone brought the being here for a reason. Niko chimes in that it's someone who knows the potential for neumonic power. Goose says that he has a few ideas. Well, go blow them up! Sheesh! Walsh sends them off.

In space, we see a green ship carrying Mogul the sorcerer and poor hapless Larry. They are looking into a crystal ball containing an image of the alien lady. Mogul is vexed that said alien lady is on Tortuna as she is his "source of neumonic energy" and he had taken such care to cast the spell that brought her here. He suddenly whirls on Larry for reasons I can't discern at all and demands to know what he's done to him.

Um, last I remember, he was vaguely sensible while you were a total tool? Does that count? But apparently it's Larry's fault the girl crashed on Tortuna. Apparently the crown is signficant too, and a passport to a neumonic universe, where he'll have a new power source for his spells.

Ah, apparently Larry and the Demons blew the coordinates. Somehow I have my doubts about that. Mostly because Mogul's an idiot.

Larry keeps trying to interrupt, Mogul rants, and eventually Larry gets out that the alien lady broke Mogul's spell. Mogul doesn't believe it. No one breaks his spells. Larry tries to point out that she's "pure power." Mogul explains that once he gets the crown, he'll have access to all the power he needs.

Um, that's not a counter argument, man.

Anyway, Larry catches sight of the Galaxy Ranger cruiser, which gives Mogul a plan. Oh good.

Next we see one of those cute Tortuna villages. A small robot donkey is tied to a post. Burro? Probably not, but still cute. The alien lady, still glowing, floats toward it. She touches her head, noting that something isn't right. She seems to be a tad out of it. Suddenly a zap of light startles the donkey. It doesn't look like she did it on purpose, but she takes advantage of the moment to try to talk to it. It doesn't work, so she heads inside the cavern, calling out asking if anyone can help her.

Upcoming barfight? Please?

She observes it as a dark cave filled with atomic lifeforms. They watch her, and one snarks that "she's off her beam." Which she confirms, but notes that she can't remember. Another alien bar patron asks her what she can't remember. She responds with "How to find it." But when asked what she has to find, she can't remember.

A cleaning type rhino-type creature notes that they don't want any trouble. She responds that her neumons are decaying and if she doesn't go home, she'll destroy their universe. The rhino thinks that will dirty up the place a bit.

I love you rhino-with-a-mop.

She asserts that it's serious, she's unstable, and suddenly zaps the mop which disintegrates in the rhino's hands. The patrons stand, asking how she did it. The more human looking fellow tries to reach for her arm and is zapped.

One thing that interests me about this scene is how generally un-antagonistic the bar patrons are. They're puzzled by her, and curious, but they don't immediately leap to an attack. Even when she says strange things about destroying the universe. I'm so used to the beligerant drunk stereotype that I really wasn't expecting the scene to go this way. It's kind of nifty.

Okay, now that I've said that, they pull out guns and try to shoot her. But at least it took longer than I thought it would for them to get hostile. The beams bounce off the alien lady. Now irritated, she asks if this is a joke. Heh. Suddenly beams of light start bursting from her. The bar patrons run for it, while she begs them to excuse her.

Waldo, who's riding a nifty alien creature, Niko and Shane have found the crater. Waldo has registered a neumon surge at Sorry End. Niko and Waldo approach the crater, while Shane peers over the cliff noting "Would you look at that?" Niko agrees that the crater is gigantic. But that's not what Shane is looking at.

Indeed, the giant herbivore comes closer, causing Triton to back up a bit. The herbivore pats Triton's head and rumbles that he's a "nice horsey." Triton doesn't care much for it and jerks back, shouting at it to go away and that they want no trouble with it.

Triton's mane is kind of awesome. Looks conditioned. I bet Goose does it. Goose seems like he'd be an awesome hair dresser for robot horses. Waldo notes the uncharacteristic behavior and that this is the work of the alien. Also, they have four-point-five hours left. Fortunately, Waldo's picked up something else on his scanning doohickey, that's "amazing."

Goose asks him to skip the amazing and wants to know where it is. Waldo points, and they go. Indeed, it's the alien lady, who's very upset. Waldo notes that she's decaying rapidly, as they peer down a cliff at her. The beams effect Niko's implant. Goose thinks the beams are deadly and aims to shoot, but Niko stops him. She gets a vision of the crown being tossed away, and tells them, and us, that the alien's lost some kind of "power stabilizer."

Waldo notes that they have two hours until critical mass and asks Niko to make contact. Niko does by shouting down to her. Um. Really, Waldo, you couldn't do that yourself? Anyway, the alien is shocked and pleased to hear atomic beings that can understand her. But their moment is interrupted by Mogul, Larry and a demon behind them. Mogul thanks them for leading him to the source of ultimate power.

The rangers, resigned, raise their arms and turn around, but Mogul's attention is on a frightened looking Larry who's visibly shaking as he holds his gun. He commands him to collect the weapons and he does so.

I wonder if Goose's biodefenses could take a neumonic discharge.

Anyway, they're led down to the alien lady while Waldo mutters something about who else being willing to risk the entire universe for his "reptilian greed." That sounds kind of speciesist dude. Mogul is unconcerned with Waldo's scorn and casts a spell creating a "neumonic containment crystal" around the alien and rangers. Waldo quickly warns them not to touch the rays, while Mogul decides that it's time to talk about what he came for. He wants the crown of power.

This jogs the alien lady's memory. Apparently the crown is how she gets home, as it "corrects" her "reflections." Okay. Larry notes that the alien lady is not wearing a crown. This upsets Mogul, but Niko quickly gets a vision of the crown sinking in the water.

Mogul shouts that he'll correct her reflections (which sounds dirty) and that he'll have her crown and access to the universe. Larry agrees, but is scolded. Poor Larry. Waldo insists that they have to get out of there. Mogul adds that when she "goes" it'll make them all Roman Candles.

Goose is not so sure about that though, as he has the same thought I did, and asks the alien to hit him with a beam. She is understandably confused, but he urges her to do it quickly. She does so, and he taps his badge and turns into a golden Goose. Heh. He asks her to do it again, and she does. It bounces off him and breaks the containment shield apart. Well done!

Additionally, she blasts another beam at a rock structure above Mogul and Larry, which buries them in rubble. Nice work, alien lady! They run for the horses. (Alien lady shares with Niko.)

Unfortunately, the alien lady isn't clear where the crown is. Waldo, on his awesome striped reptile horse, points out that destruction will happen in 47 minutes. Killjoy. Fortunately Niko remembers the lake from her vision. Waldo remembers the irradiated pool at the landing site and they race back.

Larry and the demon try to unearth Mogul as they reach the lake. Niko notes that it's underwater. Goose says he'll go and get it, but Waldo doesn't advise it. Goose couldn't take the neumonic levels. Niko asks for options, but Goose thinks they don't have options and dives in. Niko is distressed. Heh. So is the herbivore that wandered over. Aww. I like that thing.

Anyway, Goose has badge-tapped himself some gills. Unfortunately, Mogul and Larry have gotten free and got themselves a land transport. Larry is driving. I kind of love Larry. Fortunately, the demon gives lousy directions. But Mogul pops out the crystal ball and sees Goose and the herbivore (AWWWWW) swimming. Mogul thinks it's sweet that they're doing the work for him as Goose grabs the crown.

Goose should totally keep the herbivore. It could play with Winter and Icarus.

Anyway, Mogul, Larry, and the demon march over to them. The alien lady is kind of ticked and slides off Mel's back. Niko draws her own weapon, but the alien lady suddenly grabs her head and both weapons go flying. Mogul seizes the opportunity to cast a spell.

The alien lady faints, just as Goose pops out of the water with the crown. Mogul, for his part, demands Larry stick out his tongue. But apparently he actually meant the weapon, and Larry blushes and draws it. Mogul commands him to get the crown, but Goose is not having that. Larry's gun is like one of those grabby devices that my grandpa used to have.

By the way, the sky is filling with black clouds shooting lightning across it, and the herbivore has surfaced near the alien lady. Waldo insists that she needs the crown and the meltdown will happen in ten minutes.

Mogul announces that he wins and demands the crown. The herbivore emerges from the water, even as Goose, with a smirk, tosses it straight on Larry's head. It's incredibly hot, and Larry jumps, sending the crown flying. The herbivore catches it and even as they try to attack him, throws it toward the alien lady.

I love you, herbivore.

Mogul zaps it with purple energy and it falls, while Goose emerges from the water and starts shooting. Mogul and minions dash off. The alien lady stirs, even as thunder crashes in the background and her fingers twitch toward the crown while Niko warns not to touch her.

Meanwhile, Goose is still stalking after Mogul who shouts at him that his "dumb beast" is dead and he's next. He tries zapping, while Niko uses her badge to telepathically alert the alien lady and get her to wear the crown. She does so and the ground shakes, sending Goose flying and knocking Waldo off his mount. When the quake calms, the magic menaces escape to their vehicle. Meanwhile the alien lady is looking much more alert.

Goose however is still very angry, and snarls that there's no place Mogul can run to. The alien lady approaches and asks him to "Please, allow me." Goose steps back with a courtly bow, and she begins zapping, blowing the vehicle to pieces. Waldo reminds her that she must hurry. She notes that things are getting brighter, while a nervous Waldo notes that's true in more ways than one.

Niko is sad though, for the poor dead herbivore. Goose is still pissed. But the alien lady offers to help. She does a nifty lay-on-hands thing and it wakes up. Waldo identifies it as "phosphorescent neumonics." and explains that it's "Life energy that returns after initial contact."

That means absolutely nothing to me, but yay! The herbivore thing is back! He'll be well preserved with neumons. Waldo, killjoy as ever, reminds her of the time. She acknowledges, thanks the rangers, and tells them it's unfortunate that they can't coexist in the same universe and she hopes their paths never cross again. Aww. She'll think of them often. Then she draws a circle in the air, which gets all glowy, and steps into it. It disappears into a tiny point of light which lifts off and into the space rift.

Goose smirks and notes that he doesn't like long goodbyes. Waldo is gleeful at the scientific data gained, and Goose says there's got to be an easier way. But Waldo is happy that they saved the universe. Goose points out that they've saved TWO universes, and then is startled by the herbivore's paw on his shoulder. The herbivore adds that they've gained a new Galaxy Ranger.

Hey, he's more competent than Buzzwang, so I'm game. As is Goose.

End of episode!

--

Okay, even if there wasn't as much explosions as I like, this was still a fun episode. A good antidote after the lackluster Murder on the Andorian Express.

The alien lady was sufficiently alien, and even though I still don't know what a "neumon" is or if they are referencing a real thing or not, it was nifty to glimpse a universe that operates under a completely different set of physics.

Also, every episode is better with Gooseman. I'm a bit biased, but off the top of my head, I can't think of any episode with Gooseman that annoyed or bored me. Possibly because any time the plot gets slow, they can just have Shane punch something or blow shit up.

I mean, I love the others too, but their episodes can drag. Especially any Doc and Niko episode. I like the IDEA of the team up, and I love their banter. But plotwise, their episodes tend to end up really dull.

Though granted, I'll take a hundred Andorian Express episodes over another Buzzwang centered ep.

It's funny that there didn't seem to be any after effects from diving into the pond. Waldo certainly seemed very concerned for someone who ought to remember his colleague's bio-defenses. Oh well, maybe he'll keel over or grow a third eye on the way home.

Both Niko and Goose got to do fun things this episode. Waldo was mostly a killjoy, but that's kind of what he does anyway, so I'm not complaining.

My 'shipper's heart noted that Niko seemed very distressed by Goose diving into the water. Heh.

But the best character of the episode was the lizard thing. It was awesome. And of course Goose would make friends with it. Goose is like that. He's got misfit animal magnetism or something. Goose's army of awesome creatures will never not amuse me.

I wish they'd given us a name for the alien lady though. It annoys me when I don't have a name to type.

Definitely a fun episode. And now I'm going to bed!