Wrestling-type comic books...

I'm not a big Wrestling fan (which is a little puzzling since you'd think guys in spandex beating each other up would be my bag, but apparently the fact that every single major emotional moment seems to happen in the ring kind of threatens my suspension of disbelief. Also Pay-per-view gets expensive real fast.) but I always wondered why there wasn't more Wrestling/Comic Book crossover type things.

The personas seem pretty much made for comics, after all. Kind of the same way soap operas and comics have a lot in common. And it's a lot cheaper than Pay-Per-View so I might give it a try.

Miller vs. Millar: A Rant About Cynical Superhero Storytelling

Recently Ragnell's been on an highly entertaining twitter tear about Mark Millar's writing in the Ultimate Universe, and it got me thinking that I pretty much agree with her. Especially about the part in an interview where he talks about what-if an Ultimates member was cowardly enough to call in sick when up against a strong villain and uses that as a selling point (without the key heroic factor of showing up at the last minute to help anyway.)

And it got me thinking that, as much as I make fun, I would much rather read anything by Frank Miller than I would anything by Mark Millar.

I think part of it is simply because Miller's so open about his particular narrative quirks. You know what you'll get: macho, gritty monologues, weird yet effective visual effects, and prostitutes-prostitutes-prostitutes.

But the biggest difference between them, I think is that Frank Miller's works tend to be about horrible people being heroes. Where Mark Millar's work tends to be about heroes being horrible people. There's a difference.

In Sin City, or even All Stars: Batman and Robin, the former of which I can stand and the latter of which I dislike with a passion, the characters are pretty much horrible people. Marv. The prostitutes. That version of Batman who basically tosses a kid in a hole and makes him eat rats. They're all horrible people who do awful things.

But ultimately, they end up being the heroes. And I find a strange sort of optimism in that. It's the idea that in the right circumstances, at the right time, even the most horrible, immoral, and monstrous person you know, even THAT guy could be a hero.

Mark Millar's the opposite for me in that he seems to like to take heroic characters and deconstruct them to the point where they lose what makes them heroic. In some cases, what makes them human. Civil War could have been a very effective story in others' hands. Civil War as written by Ed Brubaker perhaps. Or JMS. Certainly a lot of other writers did a lot of work to return Tony Stark, for example into an even remotely viable hero. Cap comes across somewhat better in Civil War (no interdimensional prisons at least and less torturing of former teammates with sonic disabling devices), but even so he spends most of the series as though sailing on a tsunami of steroid rage.

At least Ultimates has the excuse of being a parallel universe. Even so, the Ultimate Universe is a parallel universe where the whole point seems to be, but for a few exceptions, that none of the heroes are remotely the moral and upright people you think they are:

Wolverine screws jailbait and ambushes his teenaged rivals to die in Antarctica. Hank Pym's an abusive monster. Captain America's a jingoist caricature. Cyclops executes captured prisoners. Xavier doesn't fuck up his child army's lives because of privilege, cluelessness, and preoccupation with grand goals, but as deliberate parts of his plans.

And in particular, his treatment of the female characters is to strip them down to one core point in their characterization:

Jean's got the love triangle (and weirdly inappropriate thing with Professor Xavier). And without that, she might as well not even be the same character. If anything, she's more like Rachel (with the self-centered teenaged rebellion and all) than Jean and even that's only if you discount Rachel's better parts.

Storm goes from being exalted for her powers in her youth (an important counterpoint to most of the other X-Men in 616) to being a car-stealing hoodlum. Yes, Storm did have her time on the streets, but it doesn't define her. And for that matter, so did Scott Summers, but it gets underplayed and completely eliminated from HIS backstory while it suddenly makes itself the core of hers?

Jan gets the worst of it, as she goes from the woman brave enough (or foolhardy enough) to go to her father's young colleague and demand super-powers to save or avenge him, to being an abused wife who's mutant power is the core of her husband's research and discoveries. Not only is that an insult to Hank, as it takes his genius achievements and grafts them on to her, it doesn't even do it in a way that benefits her. This isn't Sue Storm the Scientist (which worked very well, to give credit where it's due), Jan doesn't gain anything from this.

When Jan first appeared in the pages of Ant-Man's Tales of whatever comic (I can't keep 'em straight, but you can read it in Essential Ant-Man), she immediately stirs things up. She's pro-active, and determined, and while self-absorbed and a bit shallow, she's an immediate dynamic effect in Hank's quiet, contemplative and somewhat passive world. You knew it from the moment she stared down Hank and demanded he give her powers. Now the powers are inherent to her, but what does that really mean except that now, instead of getting them through determination and will, she gets them through an accident of birth to then be exploited by her husband.

I think there's a notable difference between the idea of Ultimate Universe, which was meant to be an ongoing universe full of the potential but none of the baggage of the 616 universe, and All Star Batman and Robin. ASBAR isn't, in my opinion, meant to be a deconstruction of Batman as a heroic figure so much as it's a stylized alternate universe which features a version of Batman in a traditional Frank Miller world. That Batman, like Marv, is a monstrous hero in a dark, crapsack environment. Moreover, it has two other features to recommend it: 1) It's not an open universe meant for long term superhero storytelling, and 2) Miller HAS proven himself capable of writing true superhero fare with things like Batman: Year One. He has stylistic quirks, but they don't always end up overpowering the theme.

It's sad because there was a lot of potential awesomeness in the idea of starting fresh as in the Ultimate Universe Iron Man, Spider-Man and Fantastic Four started really strong. Even X-Men had potential at first (though I'd say X-Men Evolution or the first two movies did it better) and if Ultimates had been a starting point to take them to a more heroic standing (like in Ultimate Avengers, for all its faults) then maybe that would have worked too.

But instead it ended up a story about how all these characters that should have been heroes really aren't. It's a cynical corpse of a superhero universe (not even going into what LOEB does to it later, let's just say there's an elaborate necrophilia joke set-up that even I think is in too poor taste to blog). It's fine for some readers who dig that sort of thing, but honestly?

I'd rather go read Sin City.

Cap News!

So apparently Chris Evans is Captain America?

I can dig it. He's of a good age range for it, is reasonably attractive, and will probably look good in blue chainmail. And really, all of his characters tend to have a certain "genuineness" that will suit Cap.

I'm not particularly bothered by the idea of him playing two different Marvel characters, though I do think it's funny that he seems to be typecast as the not-blond guy playing characters who are blond in the comics.

Now the one rumor I really really hope is true but probably has already been debunked is Hugo Weaving as the Red Skull. That would be AWESOME>

Jurassic Park comic.

Apparently there's going to be a new Jurassic Park comic.

I'm kind of torn. One one hand: dinosaurs are always good. On the other hand, it's not likely anyone will punch them.

Also, while I liked the first movie (except I hear the song in my sleep after years of our band having to play it at pep rallies) I never saw any the sequels.

Actually I'm not sure I liked the first movie so much as I liked the part where the dinosaur ate the guy off the toilet.

Still. Dinosaurs ARE cool. I might check it out. I just hope Jeff Goldblum's character doesn't star in it. He annoyed me.

Sorry about the gap in posting. Had two big assignments due. It never rains but it pours.

Also, for the record, Michigan's bar application is really intense. They take their character and fitness stuff VERY seriously.

I fully intend to post tomorrow night though. See ya then!

This Month's Booster Gold

There were a lot of good comics this week, but can I say, the one I actually enjoyed best (besides Kyle vs. refrigerator, SNERK) was Booster Gold.

Mostly because, as much as I love the "Luke, I am your father" type character reveals, I always get a little nervous that said reveals will never happen. Like in Earth: Final Conflict, where, despite building up to it for three years, Ronald Sandoval NEVER finds out that his best adversary is his kid. (Thank you, transparent attempt to change the show into something completely different! Grr.) The reveal is the best part!

And comics are even worse when it comes to changing creative teams. Normally I consider the ever changing/ever flowing comics continuity a good thing, but dropped plot threads are a natural consequence.

This issue didn't have the reveal, but it promised a reveal WILL happen. Booster Gold won't die without knowing the truth. Or at least if he does, he'll be back. Close enough.

I'm really really curious about the mother, naturally. But I'm reassured that at some point little Booster Gold will learn exactly who's training him and that's good enough. :-)

For now. :-)

Okay, you know what?

Axe Cop is the greatest thing ever.

That is all.

Cap. Casting Thoughts

I've been enjoying all these rumors about who's gonna be playing Captain America. Some of them are a bit mind boggling (John Krasinski? Really? I like him, but he's not my first notion for Cap) but some sound pretty good.

Personally, I don't know who I'd want really, but I have a slight wishlist for whichever actor they choose:

1) reasonably young. (It IS set in WWII after all. A thirty-something Steve would be characterized a lot different from a 20-something Steve)
2) hot
3) Capable of playing "earnest" "sincere" and "honorable" (I've mentioned before that I don't actually think the role requires as much complicated acting, as say Iron Man does, but it's important to find a guy who can be genuine.)
4) NOT the same guy as playing the non-serumed version.

Because really? Inflatable muscles suck.

5) Also, no plastic ears.

I admit to being a bit skeptical about the story rumors, but I'll wait and see. It's GOT to be better than the last one (which doesn't exist.)

Just, no inflatable muscles or plastic ears damnit.

I Wish I Liked Him

Is there any comic book character that you really really wish you liked? I mean, one where you really like the concept and origin and all that, but the execution just doesn't work for you?

I think for me, it's Martian Manhunter. I love the idea of Martian Manhunter. I love how he's a walking reference to a bunch of old school (and new school) depictions of Mars. I love his powers (shapeshifting is cool!) and his backstory. And I think fire's a perfectly reasonable phobia and one that is a good way to keep the character from being overpowered.

But somehow, I've never really liked the character himself. Something about his personality as depicted annoys me. I think he's very useful in a group setting like JLA, and is a good foil for characters I like better, but I have absolutely no interest in his solo affairs. I'll be happy to see him resurrected, naturally (I'm very pro-resurrection. We have enough perma-death in the real world and the advantage, IMO, to a multi-decade franchise is being able to bring toys back to the sandbox and not be so limited by endings.) and maybe I'll warm to him then.

I really do like the IDEA of him. I just wish I liked him.

An Awesome Link

I haven't really been of the inclination to blog this week. My fault. It was spring break and mine was surprisingly busy. I haven't gotten nearly as much done as I wanted. I did get to visit with friends (long overdue!) though, which was awesome.

One thing I've been doing a lot (since I can do it in one window while doing other things) is reading Mark Reads Twilight. This fellow goes chapter by chapter through the Twilight series and documents his reactions. It's something I've always wanted to try, but then I couldn't do it to a book I didn't like.

Besides, my last effort at recapping kind of fizzled out (I do intend to resume that, eventually, but it's time consuming and this really isn't a great term for that.)

But his is awesome. Though I think he gets a bit melodramatic about the awfulness of Twilight. I think the series is pretty bad, but I don't think it's quite as bad as he does. It's definitely not the worst or most unhealthy thing I've read. Though admittedly, my perspective may be because every person I know who likes the series is a smart person who just enjoys the guilty pleasure of the series rather than believes its something to emulate. (One of my best friends at school is a Twilight fan. I put up with this, just as she puts up with my obsession with the equally awful American Idol. We are all flawed. :-P) If I knew more of the crazy-type fanatics, I might feel otherwise.

I'm not sure I'd recommend it to fans of the series, though, for the obvious reason that it's not often fun to see someone tear down something you enjoy. But it's a pretty fun read otherwise.

Vampire Book Recs Desired, Please Hold the Angst and Sparkles

I'm finding myself with the urge to read a Vampire novel. A GOOD vampire novel. (Comics work too). I've nothing against Anne Rice but it's not really for me. (Too angsty. Except for David. He was the only character I could stand.) And well, less said about Twilight, the better.

I do love Barbara Hambly's vampire series (spies and unrepentantly awesome vampires!) as well as P.N. Elrod's Vampire Files (Prohibition-era vampire protagonists who can rationalize conventional morality with vampirism without wangsting idiotically!)

But I'm always a little skittish about starting a new vampire book. So can you guys recommend me some good ones?

Thoughts on Wonder Woman

I'm really looking forward to Straczynski on Wonder Woman. I rather enjoyed his Thor (barring my issues with his Tony Stark portrayal) and I absolutely LOVED Babylon 5 (except the last season).

I think he has a very good grasp of mythic, which doesn't necessarily work with say Spider-Man, but should work very well with Wonder Woman. And he's always done a very good job of showing the varied types of strength in female characters. In Delenn and Ivanova, he was able to highlight the ambassador and the warrior, so it'll be interesting if he can pull them together in Diana.

Actually, the Londo fan in me REALLY wants to see him do the Greek gods. That should be fascinating.

Exciting News!

HBO is producing a Game of Thrones tv show!

I feel like the universe has just made up for actually turning that wretched Sword of Truth series into a (admittedly less dreadful) tv show.

Score!

Brief Thought on Cry for Justice

I did not read Cry for Justice. I'm fairly happy about this decision.

I mean, I'm not THAT aghast that they killed off Lian Harper. I get that writers sometimes write awful things to get emotional reactions. And if a writer really wants to bring her back, there are ways.

But really though, is that the BEST way Robinson could think of to get at Roy and Ollie? Really? Resorting to a 'kill the kid' cliche?

It might be the best written comic of the year, but somehow I doubt that'd make the plot point less cheap. It seems like Robinson could do better.

So yeah, didn't buy it. Didn't read it. Can't say I regret that decision.

Meme Answers!

And we're done! I hope you enjoy them.

My 10 characters:

1. Scott Summers (X-Men)
Because uptight schemers are funny
2. Guy Gardner (Green Lantern Corps)
A mainstay!
3. Gambit (X-Men)
Because I love to mock.
4. Aeryn Sun (Farscape)
As she's just awesome.
5. Bren Cameron (C.J. Cherryh's Foreigner series)
Because I believe in picking one obscure character each time I do this. Expands your horizons. :-P
6. Alex Summers (X-Men)
It's a Summers brother edition!
7. Lois Lane (Superman)
Because Lois is so much cooler than her husband and we all know this.
8. Hepzibah (of the StarJammers)
I have both Summers brothers, why not add their cat-woman step-mom?
9. Amanda Waller
No one fucks with the Wall.
10. Wonder Woman
I don't think I've ever used her. It should be fun!

And the questions!
--------------------

Bookslide asks:

4 and 7 decide to run a resort together. Who does what, and is it successful?

Let's see, Aeryn Sun and Lois Lane. Awesome. Lois of course handles the business model. Aeryn will run security. It will be very successful until the Omacs or Scarrans come down and smash it to bits.

Anonymous asks:

If 1 and 8 had a karaoke concert together, who *would* win?

Well, I suspect Scott's actually the better singer, but who wouldn't vote for the furry cat lady singing Blondie?

2, 3, and 7 decide to go to a bar and get pissed-arse drunk together. Why?

Guy, Gambit, and Lois Lane walk into a bar. A cleverer person would have a punchline for that. (Lois ducks!) But anyway, it's possibly because Rogue and Superman have been flirting in some non-existant crossover storyline.

Guy just likes getting drunk. :-)

4 and 5 must set up a successful crack!pairing between two of the other characters on a dare. Who do they pick and why? Does it actually work out?

Hmm, Aeryn Sun and Bren Cameron setting up a crack pairing. My guess: Wonder Woman and Cyclops. The xeno-linguist in him will like that they both relate to the same cultural mythology. The soldier in her will like the practicality. And both characters are involved in Amazon woman + geek type relationships, so they'll probably support that too.

And of course it works. Until Jean's back from the dead again at least.

9 and 10 wake up naked in the same bed. What happened?

Justice League annual keg party. Thank Hal Jordan.

kiragecko asks:

3 and 7 go undercover in 60s TV land. How long do they last? How do they give themselves away?

Gambit and Lois Lane. They probably won't last very long. Lois is not one to fake being a homemaker, and Gambit would need a shower.

2 and 8 have been tricked into destroying Canada. What's their plan and how does 4 stop them?

Guy and Hepzibah have been tricked into destroying Canada. Hmm. My guess is it involves space weaponry, though Guy keeps suggesting an orgy. Aeryn stops them through physical violence. Or rather, she stops Hepzibah via violence, while watching a Peacekeeper woman and living cat girl wrestle it out will snap Guy out of ANY mind control.

notintheface asks:

Each character gets assigned a Lantern ring. Who gets which type and why?

Scott - Green, he's not really in tune with any of his other emotions enough to be anything else. :-)
Guy - Purple! Oh, okay, Green. :-P
Gambit - Egads, do we HAVE to? Okay. Eh. Purple maybe? Just keep him away from Rogue.
Aeryn Sun - Green, for much the same reason as Scott.
Bren Cameron - Blue. It goes along with the interpreter/diplomat/find-happy-solutions-for-everyone thing he's got going on in the books.
Alex Summers - Well, I think most Summerses are default green. He might lean toward yellow though, since he has a bit of a bully tendency in him.
Lois Lane - Quintessential green, man!
Hepzibah - Probably violet. She can actually put up with Corsair after all.
Amanda Waller - Green. Scarily so.
Wonder Woman - Fuck Blackest Night. Wonder Woman should be Indigo damnit.

Anonymous asks:

Which one is most likely to LOVE being the lead in a romance novel, 6 or 8?

Alex or Hepzibah? Probably Alex. Granted, Hepzibah IS dating a dillweed, but romance novel heroines have to put up with way too much shit. Secretly though, Alex totally wants to be a romantic leading man.

But even he knows he's the side character who gets the sequel after his brother gets paired off first.

Anna asks:

1 and 5 have a time travelling child hellbent on destroying them. Why?

Well, we are talking about Scott here. Enough said. Failing that, Cameron might have accidently negotiated world peace which would kill the Marvel universe storyline. Marvel can't handle world peace after all. So that'll need to be fixed.

James Ashelford asks:

5 makes a romantic dinner for 3, what is their ulterior motive?

Probably to get Gambit to take a damn shower and stop offending whoever he's got to negotiate with.

1, 7 and 9 have a "bad movie night", each brings a DVD, who brings what?

Scott, Lois Lane, and the Wall. Scott brings Doom (bad leadership + action + ill-defined enemies), Lois brings Shattered Glass (bad reporting, bad acting), Amanda Waller brings X-Men 3, to annoy Scott.

5 and 8 run against one another for public office: what office and who wins?

Hmm, Bren Cameron running against Hepzibah. It'd have to be some alien foreign relation type office. Hepzibah would win, but only because it's a part of his diplomatic scheme for world peace. He'll angst about it, of course.

Anonymous:

Serial version (staring 1,3,5,7)
Which one is the dashing hero?
Which one is the mustache twirling villian?
Which one needs to be rescued?
Which one is the annoying comic relief?

Scott, Gambit, Bren Cameron, Lois Lane.

Hmm. Okay. I didn't pick any villains this time around, so Scott will have to do it. Assume he's doing some sort of machiavellian for-the-greater-good type thing.

Lois hasn't been a damsel in years, whereas much as I love the guy, Cameron's a walking trouble magnet, so she'll get to be the hero, he gets to be the damsel.

Gambit's the annoying comic relief.

2 picks a fight with Shane Gooseman. who wins?

Can it be during the Warrior years, because regenerative shapeshifter vs. regenerative shapeshifter is awesome.

Either way though, Shane's got more training, so he'll be winning until Guy realizes he's fighting a 19 year old maladjusted kid, then he'll call a stop to it and take our Gooseman drinking instead.

4 wakes up next to 6 as 8 walks in one them. The response?

Aeryn wakes up next to Alex Summers as Hepzibah walks in. Everyone would be oddly blase about this, I'd imagine. Though Aeryn will return home happy that her own genius is less of a tool.

9 finds themselves enaged to 10. How did it happen?

The Wall and Wonder Woman...

Amazon Purple Ray. We don't ask for details.

Anonymous asks:

2 fights him/herself being the object of affection from a vampire. The response?

Garlic fueled beatdown, of course. Unless she's hot. Then he'll annoy Hal with a lot of staking jokes.

3 fights him/herself being the object of affection from a werewolf. The response?

Well, at least he has an excuse for not shaving.

4 is trapped in a farmhouse, with hordes of the undead just outside. What do they do?

Aeryn Sun vs. Zombies. Oh yeah. This'll be FUN.

Anonymous asks:

Would 10 fink on a soul brother?

With the golden lasso, no one ever complains.

What song would be playing if 9 tried to kill 2 with a forklift?

"I got my mind set on you"

3 is being menaced by the spirt of music. What happens?

Song and dance number at a burlesque show. Don't ask. (Rogue has the video.)

What does 6 do while the Master is away?

Relax. Possibly with herbal assistance. Don't tell Scott.

Anonymous asks:

3 and 7 have to pretend to be happily married. How does it go, and why is it 5's fault?

Gambit and Lois Lane. Well, it's probably on account of Bren trying to fix a cultural misunderstanding. It goes about as well as you'd expect, but unfortunately for me, Superman'll swoop in and save Gambit before Lois kills him.

Free-for-all cage match: 2,6,9 and 10. What happens?

Guy, Alex, Amanda, and Diana. Hmm. Diana lassos Alex, accidently revealing his 'deeply hidden' (snerk) brother issues. Guy makes a lot of dirty jokes.

Amanda Waller wins. The Wall always wins.

1 & 4 are dancing together. Why?

To save John Crichton from the Dark Phoenix of course. They make a cute, if slightly incestuous looking couple.

SallyP asks:

#4 gets called for jury duty. Does he or she try to get out of it,or suck it up and serve?

Aeryn's a dutiful sort, so she'll serve. Until she has to cut out to save her crew's ass again.

#1 and #8 innocently walk into a bar, and are accidentally scooped up in a police raid. Whom do they call to bail them out?

Corsair. It's probably all his fault anyway.

Half of the group thinks that "Twilight" is a piece of crap. The other half think it's the bestest movie ever. Who if for, and who is against?

For: Scott (let's be honest, his relationships are about as unhealthy, and he's totally got teenaged girl tastes)
Hepzibah (she has a thing for Jacob),
Gambit (He's as fangirl bait as Edward),
the Wall (she imagines manipulating the idiots into doing her bidding),
Bren Cameron (he thinks it's an interesting look at modern human cultural values)

Against: Guy (pervy adults taking advantage of kids in unequal relationships?)
Lois (For obvious reasons.)
Wonder Woman (See above)
Alex (who's sane and has taste)
Aeryn (who'd kick Edward into next week)

Devin McCullen asks:

2,5,6 and 8 are transported back in time to the Dark Ages with nothing but their clothes. Rank them in order of who survives the longest.

Well, they're all fairly competent. I think they could survive for a while. That said, Hepzibah will have the hardest time, as she's not human.

Alex is kind of a tool (and has mutant and Summers luck) and Guy would probably mouth off to the wrong church higher-up. So there are at least a few "getting chased by mobs" events in their future.

Bren would probably be the best, since he's a cultural specialist and pretty adaptable. He'd angst about it for about half a book, then negotiate them into an early renaissance.

If 1,4,7 and 9 were all on Twitter, who would follow who, and who would block who?

Hmm. Scott, Aeryn, Lois and the Wall. Scott, Aeryn and Lois will probably follow each other. The Wall would get blocked, but she'd follow them with a sockpuppet so she still knows what's going on. You never know what might be useful.

Your Obedient Serpent asks:

#3, #5, #7 and #9 play D&D, with #6 as the Dungeon Master.

Who plays what kind of characters, and how many of them survive the adventure that #6 runs for them?

Hmm, Gambit, Bren, Lois and the Wall play D&D with Alex Summers as dungeon master.

Oh dear.

Well, Lois is the rules lawyer. She probably plays a mage. Amanda Waller is the min-maxer, and she's probably playing a tank. Maybe a paladin, but only to exploit the church. Bren's the talker, probably playing a cleric. While Gambit is the one that wants to bang every female NPC they come across. Probably a thief.

Eventually Alex gets annoyed at them and will pull the 'rocks fall, everyone dies' thing.

notintheface

An all-powerful cosmic being has decided to put all humanity on trial, and will wipe it from existence if the verdict is "guilty". Which five members of the group are the best choices to argue in humanity's defense? Which one member would be the WORST choice?

Huh, well, at least I have two diplomat types in this group. Bren and Diana are obvious choices. Guy can go too, he's persuasive in spite of himself sometimes. Lois is sharp, and Hepzibah has a positive outsider's perspective.

Worst choice: Gambit.

1,4,5,7, and 9 are all transformed into teenagers and transported to the 31st Century during a Legion tryout. Who makes the team and who doesn't?

Scott, Aeryn, Bren, Lois and Amanda. Hmm.

Well, only Scott has actual powers, so he's probably an automatic in. Aeryn can probably get in on the sheer badassery clause. The other three, probably not. Amanda, even as a teen, is probably too 'establishment.' I don't know that I think Bren would actually be interested (though he'd like meeting people from other planets). Lois might be able to bribe her way in with Superman stories.

Anonymous asks:

Capture the flag! Odds VS Evens! Which is the better team? Who gets everyone else pissed off at them for roughhousing too much?

Hmm. Odds: Scott, Gambit, Bren, Lois, the Wall
Evens: Guy, Aeryn, Alex, Hepzibah, Diana

Gee. I wonder which team will be rough housing too much. (Despite Diana's best efforts, of course.)

Odds have Scott and the Wall. That alone gives them the win.

Anonymous:

1 and 10 are cold. There is only one Snuggie. Who gets warm and who gets put out in the cold?

Scott gallantly gives it to Diana, despite her sensible protests. So she waits until he passes out and carries him over so they can share it. She doesn't actually NEED it, but we know she likes her men scheming.

Mark Millar and Frank Miller are doing a series on 9. 9's response?

She plans their death of course. But a small part of me is well and truly fascinated by the idea of a Frank Miller written Amanda Waller.

8 wakes up to find that he/she has grown a handlebar mustache overnight. The response?

Are we sure she doesn't have one already?

7 is scouted by the Justive League Task Force, Doom Patrol, and Scare Tactics. Which team do they go with?

Lois? Fuck, if she wanted a team, she could totally join the Justice League proper.

4 is scouted by the Invaders, New Warriors, and the Champions. Which team do they go with?

Aeryn, hmm. She's not a WWII hero, and not young enough for New Warriors, so I'd go with Champions. She'd get along with the Black Widow, at least.

There is a secret invasion going on. 3 suspects 1 or 5 might be an alien. How does 3 figure who's human?

Hmm. Gambit suspects Scott or Bren Cameron of being an alien. Well, they're both kind of stone faced. Bren lives with aliens. Scott's dad married an alien (kinda). Hmm.

He hires a stripper. This backfires amusingly.

2 meets the Dark Avengers. What happens?

Guy teaches Norman Osborn why it's not easy to be Green.

Anonymous asks:

If 6 doesn't act quickly, 8 is going to be put inside Fin Fang Foom's pants! What do they do?

Fin Fang Foom's got pants?

Well, Alex probably blows shit up. Proving why Scott's the smarter brother, since HE'd remember Hepzibah has claws.

Fin Fang Foom would regret that.

Anonymous asks:

What would 4 do for a Klondike Bar?

I don't think she's eaten chocolate, but she knows John likes it, so probably would shoot someone non-lethally for it to give to him.

Could 6 find Carmen Sandiago?

Alex? Hah, no.

7 is interviewed by Sally Floyd and told he/she is not a 'real' American and that Norman Osborn is doing a bang up job. The rebuttle?

Oh, she'll shove her pulitzer so far up Sally Floyd's ass that...

Well, let's just say, the press will have a field day.

2 has just been hit in the head! How does 10 react?

I'm sure she'll be concerned and check for a personality swap. Of course, she's probably used to Green Lantern head wounds by now.

Anonymous asks:

3 has stolen 40 pies. Why, and what does 1 do?

Probably roll his eyes. And then figure out some tactical advantage to having 40 pies. Gambit might have to clean the danger room with a toothbrush.

Anonymous asks:

4 is trapped in a mall. Hordes of zombies are swarming outside. What do they do?

Deja vu? It's Aeryn. She shoots their asses. All of them.

A body part belonging to 9 turns evil. What part is it and how does 9 deal with it?

Hmm. Amanda's cold enough to cut off any misbehaving part as long as her life doesn't depend on it. Otherwise, she'll make a deal.

Anonymous asks:

2 decides that 8 really needs a makeover. How does it end and what does 3 think?

Hmm, Guy decides Hepzibah needs a makeover. This will probably end with Guy having a lot of mysterious scratches while Hepzibah looks exactly the same and smirks. Gambit is perplexed and a little turned on.

Saranga asks:

3 and 7 are on I'm a celebrity get me out of here (relality tv show set in the jungle where they have to do horrible challenges).
One has to eat a live slug, the other has to wrestle a killer carniverous bunny. Who do they decide does what and how?

Hmm. Lois is much more badass than Gambit. And he does like to charm the ladies. So basically whichever Lois wants to do less, THAT is Gambit's job.

I think Lois could eat a slug. She's determined. Gambit can blow up the bunny.

Anonymous asks:

6 is deep undercover cross-dressing as a crack-addicted jam-covered pole dancer. Why were they nominated for this job over all the other characters?

He was nominated solely because he could be convinced to do it by someone suggesting Scott could do it better.

Sadly, Scott totally could do it better.

All characters have to infiltrate the winter Olympics to stop the latest doomsday scenario. What events do they enter? How many people see through their paper-thin disguises and who brings home (and keeps) the gold?

For sheer comedic factor, they're all figure skaters. Scott loses his disguise first as a Bielmann spin is hell if you want to keep your glasses.

Hepzibah wins.

Anonymous asks:

5 gets picked to do a series of national commericals. What is the product and what is their jingle?

Stuart Smalley's self-confidence seminars. (This is only funny if you're me.) The jingle would be cute and reference how even when you've negotiated world peace and first contacts, you still need a pick me up! It'd be catchy!

9 is haveing a comic book made about their life and times. From 2 through 6, who is the best choice for the art, story, and ink?

Best? Or Awesomest?

Best would probably be Bren writing (he's less ruthless, but does have a handle on politics. She'd end up being a bit too idealistic, much to her irritation.) Maybe Alex can draw? I have no idea. If not, Guy might be able to finagle something with the ring or get lessons from Kyle? Aeryn's controlled and deliberate enough to make a good inker.

Awesomest? Guy writes. The rest doesn't matter because Guy writing Amanda Waller would be awesome.

Anonymous asks:

10 is stranded in the middle of the Sahara Desert wearing the top half of a polar bear suit, clown makeup, and polka-dotted boxers. He has a handful of balloons, spanking new galoshes, and nothing else. What 's the perfectly sensible explanation of what happened? What's the comic book one?

In both cases: Amazon purple ray.

Diana's more perplexed about suddenly being a guy than all the rest. She'll adapt.

Interlude!

Okay, so, the meme should go up some time tonight. (Barring unforeseen complications, of course!) Just enough time to get your questions in if you haven't yet!

But just so I'm not popping in empty handed, look! If I wasn't a broke college student, I would totally buy a Captain America tv.

Except maybe not, as with my lack of attention span, I probably would never actually be able to concentrate on the program. It's a neat idea though!