I was rereading Captain America - Sentinel of Liberty today. It's one of my favorite miniseries. I think my favorite part is issue 5 and 6, specifically the story involving the Tales of Suspense-era Cap/Iron Man team up.
While I actually do like Tony as a character most of the time, but I'm afraid Tony falls into the same niche for me that Wesley Dodds does. Essentially, I'm most happy mocking the fuck out of him.
The best thing about this particular story for me is that it really carries through the two major traits of both characters that I've taken away from mainlining a cartload of 1960s Tales of Suspense issues at once: Cap is sweet and earnestly adorable, and Tony...is a flipping moron.
Yeah, yeah, tech genius aside, when it comes to EVERYTHING else, he was an idiot. When you even have Happy fucking Hogan
thinking, in one issue, that all of Tony's problems with Pepper would be solved if he'd just fucking TELL her he's Iron Man, you've reached the point of rampant stupidity. He spends all his time angsting about how he couldn't make her love a man on the verge of death, even though she's clearly infatuated with Iron Man, who as a superhero could die any fucking time anyway. He angsts about how she loves him and hates Iron Man, or vice versa, as the stupid bint can't seem to make up her fucking mind...
But I digress. Besides, Pepper's cool in the movie and even in that horrible animated movie so I can't bitch too much. And why the hell did Tony never invent a portable charger? Or at least a car adapter?
But that's a rant for another day.
Anyway, true to form, in this miniseries, Tony is at his breathtakingly stupidest. The entire story focuses on his internal monologue a few days after Cap's unfrozen. He has the bright idea to take Cap to Brooklyn to see all the changes. When Tony watches Cap being visibly bothered by the changes, he starts monologuing about how he thinks asking Cap to join the Avengers was a mistake and how the guy's out of touch.
What is his evidence for this, you may ask? It's because Cap is bothered by the fact that his hometown looks nothing like he remembered and because *shock among shocks* Steve CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT DAY OF THE WEEK IT IS.
If you think I'm lying:
Um. Tony. Sweetie. *I* can barely keep straight what day of the week it is. And *I* wasn't in an iceberg "a couple of days ago".
He then goes on about how Cap's likely to get himself killed. Naturally this leads to an attack by robots who then mind control Iron Man. Iron Man and Cap fight.
This leads to this monologue by the way:"Even with one bootjet crippled by the robots, I figured I was more than a match for one disoriented acrobat wrapped in a flag."
...No. Sweetie. You're really not. :-)
This leads to asskickery:
I'm only posting this page for the part where he apologizes to Tony for breaking his deflectors even though Tony is currently mind controlled and trying to physically harm him. And is a moron.
Aw. Steve is adorable.
Anyway, the story ends with the robots trying to brainwash Cap, Cap throwing it off with his mad speechifying capability and Tony getting a fucking clue.
Here we see Tony eating crow and rolling up Cap's garbage, while Cap is always gracious:
Aw. The cutest thing is that, at this point in time, Steve probably actually believes Iron Man could take him in a fair fight. Awww.
I'll leave you with one last image taken EXTREMELY out of context.
The commentary pretty much writes itself at this point, doesn't it?
Good night everybody.