Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

I'm back! And reading! And maybe even blogging! No promises!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Random Thoughts that made me Laugh

Today I spent most of my evening getting my ass kicked playing the 1987 remake of Ultima and there's nothing like the ego deflation of utterly sucking at a game that came out when you were FOUR, that's a remake of a game that came out three years or so before you were born to clear your head of anything resembling actual thought.

Does make good stress relief though. I'm hoping to eventually make my way up through the series. I've played quite a few of them but never in order, so it seems like it would be fun. At least until I get distracted. I'm hoping to at least make it to the game where you, Nicola Tesla, Sigmund Freud, Thomas Edison, Marie Curie, Rasputin, Buffalo Bill, and others end up on Mars. Because that just sounds neat.

But anyway, because of that, I've given up on compiling everything in a coherent post and just slamming a few random thoughts on here in no particular order. (That's today's excuse, anyway!)

- If the Batclan were the family on Full House, Wally West would totally be Kimmy Gibler.

- How the hell do you make a sequel to 300? Wasn't the ending fairly definitive?

- I think I once mentioned my belief on how I think an All-Star Batman and Robin-style Green Lantern would be hilarious and involve Hal Jordan fighting crime alongside his three child prostitute sidekicks: a scarily-competent African-American boy, an ill-tempered redhead, and a tiny dreamy black-haired kid with a penchant for eating his female clients. But you know what would be even funnier? ASBAR-style Flash. Seriously. In my head, it's some sort of bizarre Frankenstein meets Oliver Twist story in which a secretly demented Barry Allen pathologically dates women and steals their nephews, stepsons, whatever, and uses them in his desparate experiments to make another like him. It'd be demented.

- I tried to think of an ASBAR version of Wesley Dodds and Sandy Hawkins and my brain just tried to manually eject out of my head.

...give me a few days and a lot of coffee.

- Do you think Neptune Perkins had to have a giant salt water tank in the senate chambers? Because I think that would kind of put the damper on the debate.

"Senator Perkins, would you like to respond to the Senator from New Mexico's rebuttal?" "Glub."

- I'm somehow surprised that I've never seen a Drizzt Do'Urden/Nightwing crossover slash fanfiction. Then again, the sheer angst level might well destroy the universe.

But there's potential for a truly amusing parody in there somewhere.


  • At July 01, 2008 9:15 AM, Blogger Ragtime said…

    1. I would think that either Ollie Queen or Bart Allen would have a stronger claim to Gibblerness.

    2. 301? 300 Zombies?

    3. I want the ASBAR Metal Men, with Tina as the Pimp, and Will Magnus as the innocent who lives in the brothel without knowing about any of the horrors happening around him.

    4. Yes, he had a tank, but members of his own party kept stealing it for laughs.

  • At July 01, 2008 12:28 PM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Kalinara, you've been into the energy drinks again, haven't you?

    The Green Lantern ASBAR version just cracks me up, and the Flash one would be equally demented.

    I agree with your puzzlement about making a sequel to 300. As I recall...they all died. Maybe he wants to do a Zombie version?

  • At July 01, 2008 4:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    300 ships! The Battle of Salamis!

  • At July 01, 2008 7:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    - I'm somehow surprised that I've never seen a Drizzt Do'Urden/Nightwing crossover slash fanfiction. Then again, the sheer angst level might well destroy the universe.

    That made me laugh out loud.
    Well played...well played

  • At July 02, 2008 1:17 AM, Blogger Ami Angelwings said…

    400! :D

    Set in SPACE :O

  • At July 02, 2008 1:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    40,000: The Battle of Plataea?

  • At July 02, 2008 12:44 PM, Blogger False Prophet said…

    Anonymous 4:48 has the right idea. Steve Pressfield followed up Gates of Fire his novel about the Battle of Thermopylae, with Tides of War, about Salamis. Sadly, Miller's ahistorical version of events probably means Pressfield's more eloquent one will never be picked up by Hollywood.

  • At July 03, 2008 11:56 PM, Blogger Rob Rogers said…

    Regarding Ultima, I remember that Martian game! I think I might even still have it somewhere on 5.25" disks! Where does one find a playable version today?

  • At July 04, 2008 2:00 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Drop me an email sometime and I'll tell you how I got mine. :-)


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