An odd rant

I got to thinking about a storyline that tends to turn up in a lot of places and never fails to annoy me. I think the first time I actually remember seeing it was in the sitcom "My Two Dads" but it pretty much tends to pop up anywhere there is a questionable familial relationship.

Namely the "Let's get a DNA test!" story.

It's not that the characters choose to get a DNA test that annoys me, I think that's perfectly sensible. It's that, invariably, the characters go and get it done, end up holding the results in an envelope which is usually then bequeathed to the characters who want to know the truth the most. And then, EVERY TIME, that character(s) tear the damn thing up without reading it, because he/she/they know what family REALLY matters.

Gah, that pisses me off every SINGLE TIME.

It's not that I don't agree with the sentiment at heart. Yes, family is what you make of it. Certainly, someone who has been there for you as a parent/sibling/whatnot is your parent/sibling/whatnot regardless of whether or not there's a blood relationship. KNOWING the blood relationship doesn't matter, in the end, because your family is your family as they were all along.

But that's not what this plot point actually says.

By destroying the results of the test and never reading them, the characters aren't saying that "blood doesn't matter". If blood truly didn't matter, they'd look at the damn test. Ultimately, if both Greg Evigan and Paul Reiser are Stacy Keanan's fathers, then it doesn't matter if the results declare that the little swimmers came from one or the other. They'd both still be her fathers.

But when the characters go through all that rigamarole and take the tests and all that and then choose not to look, they're really saying "I'm lying, blood does matter, I just don't want to have to make a choice."

And that's pretty much an insult to every happy adopted family out there, I think. Certainly most, if not all, adopted families KNOW they're not blood related. And that doesn't stop them from being a family. So why can't these characters look at the damn envelope?

This isn't getting into the fact that there are many reasons why being familiar with your biological history is a damn good idea. Isn't it a good thing to know if there's cancer, heart disease, diabetes, or any other medical ailment with genetic components running through your family?

How about hemophilia, color blindness, or other nifty little genetic oddities that one could be a carrier for and never know it? Wouldn't it be a good idea to be forewarned they're there?

What if you need bone marrow or an organ transplant? Wouldn't it be a good idea to know that, hey, this guy's the one more likely able to have the right qualities to save your life?

It's just stupid. It's empty, hypocritical sentimentality getting in the way of practicality and common sense. And often these are smart and perceptive characters that decide to do this! It's positively exasperating.

If it really doesn't matter which guy is really your biological father, then look at the damn test, note down which one to check for male pattern baldness and whether there's a bone marrow match first, then take BOTH your dads out for ice cream!

Sheesh.