Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Monday, April 14, 2008

Death in the DCU

It has occurred to me that given the sheer amount of resurrections and the like in the DCU (or Marvelverse for that matter, but I'm primarily a DCU reader), I'd really like to see a comic series from the point of view of the local mortician, or perhaps cemetary worker.

Just imagine it:

"Oh hello again, Mr. Savage. It's been awhile. Yes, I did keep your personal effects for you. Would you care for a spot of tea?"

(I'd imagine Vandal Savage and Resurrection Man are regular visitors.)

"Welcome back, Mr. Queen! Shall I put your gravestone back in storage for you?"

For that matter, do you have to get a new gravestone every time you die? Or do they just cross a line through the year of death and carve a new one? Because that would get silly real fast.

Donna Troy.
Beloved Friend and Sister
19xx - 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008

I'm just sayin'.

I'd imagine zombie attacks are quite the pain in the ass. Who pays for the labor involved in reburial?

I think this may be one of those "lifestyle" superhero comics, like the law firm idea or "superheroes in the DMV" that pretty much are the sort of thing that only I would read.

Still, it'd amuse me :-)


  • At April 14, 2008 1:44 AM, Blogger Julia said…

    Can you imagine the poor mortician who had to deal with Jean Grey?

    "Are you quite certain she's dead this time?"

  • At April 14, 2008 4:36 AM, Blogger Mr. Allison Blaire said…

    I'd say that the headstone business would be booming. They would definitely need a new one each time, especially with the all floating timelines and ever changing DOB's and ressurections. In these worlds, you're not really dead if there's no actual corpse so I'd imagine superheroes trying to cut costs when they don't actually have a body to bury. They'd probably skip the whole funeral and memorial service, have a small secret wake, and call into that person's job or whatever and say that they're on an indefinite hiatus or in rehab of some sort, just in case. Reminds me of Jay telling Wally that they didn't even have a funeral when he vanished during IC.

    As far as zombies, I say its best to just cremate the body and stay on the safe side. We really don't need an undead Hank Hall coming back for a second time.

  • At April 14, 2008 6:45 AM, Blogger Ami Angelwings said…

    The Blackest Night is going to wreak havoc on gravestones! XDDD

    How would you even START a convo with whoever's in charge of such things to get a gravestone removed, or changed like that? XDDD

  • At April 14, 2008 7:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I personally think the story about the mortician refusing perform YET ANOTHER bit of work on someone who will just be resurrected anyway, since it would just be wasting his time.

  • At April 14, 2008 1:21 PM, Anonymous suedenim said…

    I think the cremation/burial decision would involve weighing several competing factors.

    If you go with cremation, your loved one won't become an evil reanimated zombie. BUT, it also tends to rule out the "returned to life, good as new, and ready to join the Outsiders or some other third-tier supergroup."

    It's up to friends and family to determine the relative likelihood of each possibility. Pantha, for instance, you'd probably cremate, because while it seems wildly unlikely that someone will want to waste a Lazarus Pit on Pantha for some reason, so she can be in the Power Company or Titans North-Central or whatever, but someone reanimating Zombie Pantha for a sick joke would have a non-zero probability.

  • At April 14, 2008 2:13 PM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Somehow, I think that this would all fall under the benefits package that you are entitled to, when you join the JLA or the JSA. The Green Lanterns have it easy, they just go to the crypt and extinguish the flame, or whatever, when a formerly dead GL shows up all full of piss and vinegar.

    If you are a Bat-member, just remember that there is apparently a limited number of memorial cases tha will fit in the Batcave. I hear that one has just recently opened up!

    The Flashes must be used to this by now. Another statue in the museum.

    If you're a loner, then I guess you just have to suck it up and pay the undertaker...again.

  • At April 14, 2008 2:25 PM, Blogger Flidget Jerome said…

    I've always wondered how metas work out their wills, especially since so many are ludicrously rich. What's an appropriate waiting period before your loved ones should get your money, given the 90% chance you'll pop back to life eventually? And, once you do pop back to life, how awkward is it to ask for everything back?

    I remember Grant Morrison implying in his JLA run that Bruce got around this by having an existing trust fund for his kids but he and Lex and Silvana are a whole other can of worms anyway. They're the absolute rulers of the world's three biggest conglomerates, it must play merry hell with the international stock markets every time they're dead, missing or on trial for murder.

  • At April 14, 2008 4:09 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    I've wondered about that with Sand I admit. Since early on he was pretty clearly funding the JSA out of pocket, what DID happen when he "died"? Did he still fund them? Did he will the money to them? Did his accounts end up frozen?

    I was seriously disappointed that the comic never, that I saw, addressed that.

  • At April 15, 2008 3:03 AM, Blogger Flidget Jerome said…

    At least with Sanderson he doesn't really have a secret identity so I can imagine it wasn't too hard for the JSA to convince his bankers not to suspend payments because he'd be back in a tick anyway.

    Though now you've got me thinking about the legacy families and how convoluted that can get. Take, theoretically, Alan Scott, with his all his very valuable media properties in Gotham. He's got a wife and two kids except Jennie-Lynn's currently dead now so if Alan was to die presumably the money would be split between his wife and Todd - but what if Jade makes it back from the grave before her dad did? Do her brother and step-mother have to fork over a third of their cash?

    ...Man, we need She-Hulk to get her license back, these questions need answering! (Plus now I'm imagining a sort of JSA-goes-to-fight-Ragnarok murder mystery scenario where one team member's left behind and spends several years enjoying sole rights to all their licensing revenue until everyone else comes back and they have to start sharing the money again.)

  • At April 15, 2008 8:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "If you go with cremation, your loved one won't become an evil reanimated zombie. BUT, it also tends to rule out the "returned to life, good as new, and ready to join the Outsiders or some other third-tier supergroup."

    Wait...y-you CREMATED HIM????


    H-He was due to be resurrected in three years by the company in a triumphant return!

    Wow. bummer, huh?

  • At April 15, 2008 11:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I wrote a fanfic like this once. Alpha Flight fanfic, mind you, with Mac Hudson going to put his headstone in storage and the rest of the team betting on when and where he'd die next. Oh, and a website keeping track of deaths and ressurrections.


  • At April 26, 2008 8:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think that zombies would count as hazardous biological waste, and would be disposed of appropriately. Personally, if I was a superhero, the date on my headstone would be on a little removable plaque, so I can replace it when I come back later. It would go in storage in the meantime.

  • At November 11, 2011 11:06 PM, Anonymous hcg said…

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