Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Friday, October 27, 2006

Why I Can't Read Ragnell's Blog When Sleep-Deprived:

Okay, honestly, the more I see this the more I laugh. Seriously. It's hilarious.

I can totally picture the JSA having pictures of everyone in the whole damned DCU with one sentence to some up each of them.

Which of course lead me to invent my own. Some of which may actually be funny. (But probably not)

Hal Jordan: Will-Working Concussion-Bait

Oliver Queen: Loud, Liberal Archer

Superman: Goody-Goody Hick with a Messiah Complex

Batman: Meglomaniac in a Batsuit

Sand: Frequently-Disrobed Sandmonster

Diana: Amazonian Bondage-Queen, I mean Princess.

Oracle: l33t h4xx0r pwns j00

Kyle Rayner: Metrosexual Artist Lucks Out

John Stewart: Not Hal, Not Kyle, The Other One.

Phantom Lady: Physicist, Model, Auton

Nightwing: Angstier Than You.

Superboy Prime: Teenage Superman With Added Emo

Aquaman: Not As Lame As He Sounds

Guy Gardner: Proof of God's Sense of Humor

...this is far more fun than it should be.



  • At October 27, 2006 10:56 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Now I want to go over and visit the JSA's bulletin board. Hilarious!

  • At October 27, 2006 11:40 AM, Anonymous Mark Engblom said…

    Hawkman: Pecs with wings...and a mace.

    Phantom Lady: Spokesmodel for Plasti-Kote.

    Firestorm: Molecular manipulation in pirate sleeves.

    Okay, enough of that. You know, what's with all the photo team picking these days? Between Meltzer's JLA and the new JSA series, that's about all that's happening these days in the DCU: picking teams.

  • At October 27, 2006 12:43 PM, Blogger Your Obedient Serpent said…

    You know, what's with all the photo team picking these days?

    Seriously. I wanna see some good, old-fashioned Legion Try-Outs.

    And maybe a leader election.

  • At October 27, 2006 1:32 PM, Blogger Amy Reads said…

    Hi Kali,
    Oh, the fun!

    Supergirl: Not the angel. No, really.
    Black Canary: Tights, not flights. Also? Sonic Cry.
    Zatanna: ehs lliw epiw uoy
    Catwoman: Former villain, always sexy.
    Huntress: More Angst Than Batman, with bonus prettier face.

    Okay, now I'm babbling :)

  • At October 27, 2006 2:25 PM, Anonymous Michael Rawdon said…

    Jay Garrick: Your grandfather on speed.

    Barry Allen: White guy in tights.

    Wally West: An eating disorder with an attitude.

  • At October 27, 2006 2:49 PM, Blogger Ferrous Buller said…

    Nightwing: Angstier Than Thou.

    Fixed that for ya.

    I wanna see some good, old-fashioned Legion Try-Outs.

    One presumes the boys must demonstrate their courage, cunning, and power in order to gain admittance.

    The girls, naturally, have a wet t-shirt contest...but in zero-g.

    That's how you know they're in the Future!

  • At October 27, 2006 4:42 PM, Anonymous CrimsonThunder said…

    Hey, why use a single line when you can have...

    The satellite Justice Leage of America haiku!

    Last Son of Krypton
    Truth Justice and Liberty
    Up Up and Away

    Dark Knight of Gotham
    Endless nocturnal crusade
    Hides grieving orphan

    Amazon princess
    Warrior pleading for peace
    Truth personified

    Fastest man alive
    Scarlet streak through twin cities
    Chasing destiny

    Em'rald ring constructs
    Unlimited willpower
    Honest and Fearless

    King of Atlantis
    Lord of all beneath the waves
    Ocean guardian

    Shape shifter from Mars
    The soul of the justice league
    No longer alone

    Unerring archer
    Hot headed social conscience
    Boxing glove arrow

    Shrinking scientist
    Travels along phone wires
    Has a tiny chair

    Winged warrior from Egypt
    Retconned to be both

    Sonic scream deafens
    Pretty bird martial artist
    Wears mother's fishnets

    Gingold makes him stretch
    Nose twitches for mystery
    Sue makes him complete

    Gnitsac slleps sdrawkcab
    S'rehtaf cigam egaenil
    sliat dna a pot tah

    Elements transmute
    Professor Stein shows the way
    Flames atop his head


  • At October 27, 2006 5:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oracle: l33t h4xx0r pwns j00

    Sigh. You just made me feel incredibly old. I have no idea what this is supposed to translate as.

  • At October 27, 2006 5:19 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    sallyp: :-)

    mark: I don't mind ONE issue each, as presumably they've fought long enough to know each other's capabilities.

    But more than that is too much. IMO

    serpent: JSA had a leader election! Hawkman got owned!

    amy: It's a blast!

    michael: Hee.

    ferrous: Much Obliged!

    crimson: Very Nice.

    anon: It's very bad "l33t speak" (hideous gamer-slang :-)) for "elite hacker owns you." I think. I've never quite gotten a good handle on l33t.

  • At October 27, 2006 7:16 PM, Anonymous chuck said…

    Kalinara: thanks for explaining the slang for Oracle...glad I wasn't the only one lost...

    "Phantom Lady: Physicist, Model, Auton"

    What's an 'auton'? Did you mean 'automaton'?

    Never mind...I couldn't come up with one sentence descriptions even when I'm NOT sleep-deprived...:)

    michael rawdon: LOVE the description of Jay Garrick!

    crimsonthunder: WOW!! That was awesome!

  • At October 27, 2006 7:23 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    An Auton is a villain from Doctor Who. They're like living mannequins made from plastic. :-)

  • At October 27, 2006 10:27 PM, Anonymous CrimsonThunder said…

    I thought I caught a (3rd and 9th) Dr. Who reference in there with the auton thing, didn't want to slip and expose my geek admitting it.

    Thanx Chuck, apparently my subconsious does things like that while I'm not looking.


  • At October 28, 2006 2:01 AM, Blogger Cullen M. M. Waters said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At October 29, 2006 2:48 PM, Blogger SallyP said…

    I am finding "Will-working concussion bait" a whole lot funnier than I probably should.


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