A Blogging in the Life of Kalinara

...I have no blog post today. None. Zip. My mind is a blank.

I'd blame law school, but honestly, 99% of the time when it comes to blogging I have no blasted idea what to post. Ever.

Okay. Now, there is a sparse 1% of the time when I actually have a genuine post idea right away, and know exactly what I'm going to write, and even occasionally have it typed up in notepad.

You can tell these posts because the timestamp reads between 12 and 1 am. Anything after that point well...

But I need to post something, since it's very important for me to try to blog something every day, because I fall down slippery slopes so fast I might as well be on roller blades. Skip one day and pretty soon, this thing'll be like my livejournal.

(I ought to clear away those tumbleweeds eventually.)

So anyway, I thought I'd let you guys in on my patented "think of a blog post" technique, via...

A Mostly Fictional Account of Blogging in the life of Kalinara

11:00 pm: Goofing off. Reading bad fanfics. Waiting for Ragnell to come online so we can giggle and squeal like those frightening girls in highschool. Playing games. Talking to other folk, usual online stuff.

11:30 pm: More of the same.

11:59 pm: More of the same.

12:00 am: Yay! It's tomorrow! Time to blog for the day. I'm gonna do it early this time! Now to think of a blog post!

12:05 am: Thinking... (Hey, look! Yahoo games has some new stuff up! I am Yahoo!Games's bitch!)

12:10 am: Thinking... (Did I check my school email?)

1:00 am: Thinking... (Okay, if this donut falls one more time...)

1:20 am: Ragnell comes online. Bitches about her job. I realize I still don't have a blog post. I start checking some friends' lists on LJ. Look for inspiration.

1:30 am: Found a blog post that, pardon me for saying so, may have just rotted a few brain cells. (I'm not naming names. :-P Assume I'm talking about you. I'm a bitch that way.)

1:31 am: I show Ragnell the link. She's funny when she sputters. (You can totally tell she's sputtering too, despite it being a text based medium.)

1:40 am: Ragnell and I start crafting remarkably implausible situations usually involving Green Lantern that probably should be insane fanfics if either of us had the attention span to write them.

My favorite is the one where in the distant future Kyle and Guy end up in this really bizarre hetero life-mate situation, with Kyle's angsty rebellious teenaged daughter, Guy's pacifist vegetarian son from an alternate apocalyptic future, and the present day baby form of Guy's pacifist vegetarian son. It's like the Brady Bunch, only with a lot more explosions. Also Donna Troy still manages to die a lot. The most cracked out bit: Guy's daughter is married to Hal Jordan's wimpy-ass son. They actually managed to spawn. Hal keeps insisting the brat call him "Uncle".

I'm probably making this up to tarnish Ragnell's reputation...

...

Or am I? (Guy's son is named Frank.)

2:00 am: Try not to roll eyes when Ragnell mentions being published again. :-P Yes, yes, horrifically talented. I get it. :-)

2:30 am: Ask Ragnell who's up for WFA today?

2:31 am: Figure out a way to foist WFA duties onto Ragnell. (I'm very good at this.)

3:00 am: Finally remember that I'm supposed to be doing a blog post. Check bloglines.

3:30 am: Make fun of other bloggers with Ragnell. Yes. We're laughing at you. Yes. You specifically. We're bitches.

4:00 am: Google my screenname. Also: Technorati, LJseek, Icerocket and Blogsearch it. I'm an egotist.

4:10 am: Listen to Ragnell bitch about politics. Try to pretend to care what happened on that Olbermann show earlier that evening.

4:30 am: Check Newsarama for a news post to link and react to with a "this looks cool."

4:31 am: Frantically try to think of anything that pissed me off or made me rant or made me laugh. Check chat logs with AIM friends. (Some of my best posts come from there!)

5:00 am: Consider doing that analysis post floating in my head. (Nah. Too much work/no energy)

5:30 am: Fall asleep in my chair.

5:45 am: Wake up and try in vain to convince Ragnell I wasn't asleep.

5:50 am: Tell Ragnell about cracktastic plot of fanfic in the other window.
(I like the ones that are batshit crazy).

6:00 am: Exchange YouTube links with Ragnell. Mine usually involve kittens or David Hasselhoff.

6:30 am: cry.

6:45 am: Check statcounter for amusing search terms used to find my site. No luck. Feel gratified that I'm apparently not the only person to type "kalinara" into a search engine. Heh.

7:00 am: Look longingly at the window and think about bed.

7:30-9:00 am: Open blogger and start typing randomly and hope something coherent comes out soon so I can go to sleep.

This account, while fictional, is a compilation of the events of many, many days. Thus everything mentioned in here has happened at one time or another...except the crazy future fanfic. Maybe. :-)