Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Thursday, January 26, 2006

Why didn't anyone TELL me about this?

I got ahold of something I didn't even know *existed* today. 1999 "JSA Returns" comics.

Why did I not know these existed? They're perfect! The covers are all wonderfully old-school, and even use "National Allied Productions" and the other names of the original companies that eventually all became the DCU we know and love.

And it's got *Sandy*! *Sandy*! Cute, smart alecky, impetuous and competent little sidekick Sandy! I've been hunting for ages for stuff with the kid pre-Sand Monsterdom. Why didn't anyone tell me that Geoff Johns wrote a cute post-crisis, 1940s story with *Sandy the Golden Boy*?! Damn you all for failing me like this! I should have *known* about this!

The issue in particular that I'm squeeing over is Star-Spangled Comics #1. Sandman and the Star-Spangled Kid team up and get taken out, so Pat Dugan and Sandy the Golden Boy get to save the day!

It's a little obscene, because in the midst of all the cuteness you get lines like this:

Sandy regarding their poor adversary: "It's almost sad really, that guy wasn't turned into a monster by choice, y'know. I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

That's just mean, man. Remind us of the half-a-century of monsterdom, will ya?

And at the end, when the day is saved:

Wesley's decided they could use another tactical advantage: "Next time I'm not taking any chances. Been working on that new weapon design. Time to put it into action."
What is this weapon design, you ask, well Sandy can answer for us: "The silicoid gun you were telling me about? Neat!"


That's just really freakin' cruel man.


And it makes me even more upset that there isn't a post crisis replacement version for The Creature in the Velvet Cage.

I mean come *on*, there's some good ideas there, but it really doesn't work with the post-crisis versions of the characters. And Wesley should never be that much of an ass.

Fine, since you're not gonna do it, I *am*. If This Monstrosity, proves nothing else, it shows that I won't back down from a challenge! And compared to a planetary orgy, this wouldn't be *that* difficult.

*rolls up sleeves* If ya want something done, ya gotta do it yourself.


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