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Saturday, March 12, 2011

Meme Answers!

Okay, so I finally got up off my ass and finished this meme round. So first, to unveil the participants:

1) Steve McGarrett (Hawaii 5-0, current version)
2) Wonder Woman (Self-Explanatory)
3) Hal Jordan (Green Lantern)
4) Buzzwang (Galaxy Rangers)
5) Jason Blood/Etrigan
6) Deanna Troi (Star Trek: The Next Generation)
7) Leia Organa (Star Wars, the actually decent movies)
8) Ronon Dex (Stargate Atlantis)
9) Gadget (Chip n Dale's Rescue Rangers)
10) The Scarlet Witch (Marvel)

Now, here goes the questions and answers. I hope you're entertained!

--

Moriarty asks:

1 & 8 are roommates. 5 has been evicted from his/her apartment and has been crashing on 1 & 8's couch for a month with no end in sight. Who gets annoyed at the imposition first, asks 5 to leave, and why?

So Steve McGarrett and Ronon Dex are roommates (that's already going to be awesome), and Jason Blood crashes...

My guess is Ronon will be the one to get annoyed, more at Etrigan rather than Jason Blood but well, they're a package deal. There will be a lot of property damage involved.

Saranga asks:

3 and 9 are planning to go on holiday together. They decide to look on the internet and end up in an argument.
why are they arguing and where do they end up going on holiday?
what woudl 4 have to say about this?



Hal Jordan and Gadget. Well. I think the first problem would be finding a hotel willing to accomodate both man and mouse. Eventually though, they go to Disneyland.

Buzzwang mopes at not being invited.

D asks:

Which would be better: 1 playing 5 in a movie, or 5 playing 1?

I think either version of that would end up messy. But I've always thought Etrigan had the heart of a thespian (possibly he ate it). So Etrigan/Jason playing Steve McGarrett.

2 is trapped in a farmhouse due a massive zombie attack. What does 2 do? What does 10 do?

Wonder Woman? She breaks free and kicks ass of course. Until Wanda accidently resurrects the zombies.

3, after slaying thousands of monsters, is told the princess is in another castle. 3's response?

Hal sighs, bandages his head wound and puts the condom back in his pocket.

Guy will never let him hear the end of being trapped in a universe where he has to break bricks with his head.

Can 4 have a cheesburger?

No.

Which would be a better team for 6: the Avengers, HAMMER, or Power Pack?

The Avengers. Deanna's a white hat, and let's be honest, a team with Tony Stark, Hank Pym, the Maximoffs and Captain America could definitely use a shrink.

Which would be a better team for 7: 7 Soldiers of Victory, Secret Six, or hanging with Major Bummer?

Ragnell suggests Major Bummer as it's funniest.

More likely 7 Soldiers of Victory though.

8 has just discovered Stardust the Super Wizard's head enlarging ray. What does 8 do with it?

Well, we're talking Ronon here. So he probably stuns Stardust, takes the ray, and uses it on the wraith, and then later his teammates for the lulz. (Once he finds out it's non-lethal.)

Then he gives it to John Sheppard as a courtship birthday gift.

Will 9 die by their own evil device?

Well, her devices do explode. But probably not. She's protected by cuteness.

D also provides a Jim Balent version:

10 is forced to play nurse to a injured witch who refuses to wear clothes and has tried to destroy the world on several ocassions. What doe 10 do?

I suppose it depends on how crazy Wanda is at any given moment. But she's pretty practical, so first she verifies that this isn't an alternate version of herself from a nudist dimension.

Then she introduces her to a hot robot.

2 discovers a werecat has been breaking into his/her room and touching him/her while they sleep. 2's response?

Cheetah's getting her ass kicked.

3 is playing putt-putt golf when he/she finds a naked werecat and vampire trapped in the windmill. 3's respone?

Hal will give the vampire and werecat a once-over and then, provided it looks consentual, toss the vampire a salute, grin, and saunter out.

Hal Jordan is no cockblocker, man.

7's underwear just exploded. How did that happen?

C-3PO has explaining to do.

6 goes Hawaiian, only be felt up by a mad octupus goddess of the sea and his/her wallet stolen by a crab. How does 6 react, and do they call Steve McGarrett for help?

Deanna's a non-combatant, so I could see her calling Five-0 for help. But as soon as she meets Steve McGarrett, she's going to forget all about it.

And Danny's so amazed by the fact that Steve's getting mental help, that he won't interrupt the session to tell her that they've retrieved her wallet.

BDS asks:

5 admits that they are transgendered and has the gender shifting operation. 7 supports them through this and they end up having feelings for each other, how deep are the feelings and how far does it go?

Well, Jason kind of suits Leia's type, in that he's (or rather, she's, in this scenario) noble with a hint of scoundrel. So I could see them falling pretty hard.

But eventually, Etrigan will ruin everything. It's what he does.

4 is chosen to be the spokesperson for toothpaste, which brand?

Mom's old fashioned motor oil brand toothpaste.

8 will appear on which reality tv show?

Well, Survivor or Apprentice would suit him best.

But my vote is for Iron Chef America.

10 is chosen to be on Hell' Kitchen. What happens the first time Gordon Ramsey calls them a donkey and tells them to "piss off!" and leave the kitchen?

Well, he'll definitely need a new kitchen, and if he's REAL unlucky, his favorite catchphrase will come out as the word "Ribbit."

3, 6, and 1 asks you to the prom, who do you choose?

Hal, Deanna or Steve.

I'm going with Steve. Sure, Hal would provide a better shot at getting laid, Steve's got the best shot of the night ending with police tape and rubble.

Ragnell points out that Deanna could point out which guys are attracted but too scared to ask, but that's a considerable commute for her and I wouldn't want to date anyone that chickenshit anyway.

9 is interviewed by Sally Floyd, who tells them point blank they are terrible citizens if they don't use Facebook. 9's reaction?

She'll send Monterey Jack to kick her ass. Granted, as he's a mouse too, it probably wouldn't have any effect. But Sally Floyd would still regret it.

Or she might just ask Sally where she could find a computer sized small enough for a mouse to use.

4,10,2, and 5 are exposed to cosmic rays. What powers do they get?

Buzzwang, Wanda, Diana and Jason Blood.

Well, honestly, I think they've already got powers enough. But if we give them F4 powers then...

I'd give Wanda Johnny Storm's power. I mean, she's already used to dealing with a destructive power, but Johnny's powers are also fun so I think she'd enjoy them. Besides, there's something symbolically interesting about a witch who can't be burned at the stake.

Diana gets Reed's power, because it's physical and she's already pretty flexible. :-)

Jason can get Ben Grimm's power, because well, what's another involuntary transformation. At least this one doesn't rhyme.

Finally Buzzwang can be invisible so I can pretend he doesn't exist.

notintheface asks:

1,3,5,6,8, and 10 go to the protest in Madison, Wisconsin. What do each of them do there?

Hmm: Steve, Hal, Jason, Deanna and Ronon...

Well, Deanna may be able to actually help mediate/work out a solution for everyone.

As for the rest, they probably get caught up in Steve's fight against vacationing Hawaiian gangsters. Ronon at least has fun.


2,4,5,7, and 9 are each prank-called by the same guy who pranked Gov. Walker as "the fake David Koch". What guise does the prank caller assume for each character and what does he trick each character into revealing?

Wonder Woman, Buzzwang, Jason, Leia, and Gadget.

For Diana, he pretends to be Steve Trevor, and Diana accidently reveals that she pretends to be a Bond villain as a sex game with Steve. "Oh no, Mr. Bond. I vant you to die!"

For Buzzwang, he pretends to be Q-Ball and reveals something similar to what Diana reveals. Much to our mass horror.

For Jason, he pretends to be Zatanna, and we find out that all the magic users of the DCU get together once a year to prank Batman.

For Leia, he pretends to be Chewbacca, and we discover that Leia speaks wookie.

And for Gadget, he pretends to be a cat, and we learn that Gadget can make explosive cat-bells.

Suzine asks:

1, 3, 5 and 6 end up in Asgard due to contrived reasons. Who breaks into the armory to get a look at the weapons, who ends up in a drinking contest with the warriors three, who hits on Thor, and who tries to engage Loki in a game of wits?
And does 10 show up to try and stop the mayhem, or to join in?


Steve, Hal, Jason Blood, and Deanna Troi.

Can I pick Steve for all of them? You know he'd adore Asgard.

But if I MUST sort it out, I'm going to go with:

Etrigan sneaks into the armory with the intent to sabotage. Hal ends up in a drinking contest with the Warriors Three (he loses in two rounds), Steve totally hits on Thor (and Thor's Hammer) and Deanna engages Loki into a battle of wits.

Wanda's off partying with Odin and the Valkyries.

D asks:

Does 9 have tiger blood?

Well. She's a mouse. So if she does, there's probably a really interesting story behind it.

Is 3 bi-winning? Or just hetro-winning?

Well, he SAYS hetero, but that whole plane ride with Kyle implies otherwise?

Also, he never wins.

Let's form Voltron: (1 through 5)
Who forms the feet and legs?
Who forms the arms and torso?
Who forms the head?


Feet and Legs: Buzzwang and Etrigan
Arms and Body: Hal and Diana
Head: Steve, of course.

6 has just learned of an adult movie being made based on his/her life. 6's reaction? How does 2 handle this?

Deanna is probably very bemused, but figures it was inevitable. People have really kinky ideas about empathy.

Diana has new roleplay ideas for poor hapless Steve Trevor.

D starts a Roger Corman version:

2 is trapped in the Galaxy of Terror. What is 2's hidden fear, and does it kill him/her?

Her mom marrying Batman. No. But the wedding is very unpleasant.

A tough principal has just banned rock n' roll from the school. How does 1 handle this?

That poor poor school. And poor Danny, who ends up bitching about the paperwork and whpever was stupid enough to let Steve McGarrett near impressionable youths.

How does 9 get the band to play?
Does 4 blow the school up?


No band can resist a cute mouse mascot.

And the day that Buzzwang can do ANYTHING before Steve fucking McGarrett is done with it is a day I retire from the world.

D also asks:

5 has to put on a show. What is the theme, and who plays who:
The lead
The romantic rival
The villain
The comic relief
the narrator


Hmm, well, Etrigan producing the show would be funniest. And I'd make it a musical.

I think he'd pick Hal as the square-jawed lead. Diana as the romantic rival. I don't really have anyone particularly villainous, but Steve is crazy, so he can be the villain. Gadget's his comic relief pet.

Leia's the narrator, because she's most likely to inject scorn and sarcasm.

3 finds out David Sim and Kevin Smith are doing a comic based on him/her. 3's response?

To warn poor Carol far away. He wants to get laid, but he's still a good guy at heart.

Anonymous asks:

5 is allowed to force any two of the others into a mud-wrestling competition. Who do they pick and how do our contestants thank them for volunteering them?

Again, it's funnier if we let Etrigan have the choice.

I think he'd pick Deanna Troi and Leia Organa. Let the Trek and Wars fanboys battle THAT out. Leia hits him with a blaster while Deanna makes him doubt his relationship with his mother.

3 and 8 have to go undercover as shadowy elite legal representatives. While still on the case they are tapped to defend super villain that they *know* is guilty in court. How do they respond, and what court room shenanigans take place?

Hal and Ronon. I think Ronon would be more convincing as a lawyer (not saying much). He's also more likely to secretly stun/kill him unless John Sheppard specifically orders/asks him not to.

Hal will hit his head.

7 and 9 get body swapped on the day both of them face a critical, life altering event their franchises have been building to for a while. What are the events, what are the responses, and what's the fall out?

Hmm. I actually don't remember any Rescue Rangers plots, but I'd imagine Leia would have a fun job teaching them to be awesomer rebel types. For Star Wars, I'd guess it'd be something like Luke and Han getting kidnapped. Gadget would be able to use tech knowledge to surprise the badguys.

In the end, everyone switches back and the New Republic has a new rodent-tolerance policy with free cheese in every restaurant.

10 and 2 have to house train several dozen puppies at once. How do they go about this?

Well, I think Diana can talk to animals. So I think she and Wanda can work something out.

I kind of like the thought that Wanda turns them into young men, and Diana teaches them by time-honored Amazon fashion. And in the process gains a bunch of adoring werepuppy fanboys.

1, 4 and 6 go on a road trip. Who's the navigator who gets them lost 1000 miles off course, who gets the worst case of indigestion in the history of mankind (and how did this happen), and who gets chased by angry beavers?

Buzzwang gets the indigestion (don't ask). Steve gets chased by the angry beavers (it had to do with explosives and a dam and Steve's New Year Resolution to be less destructive to the local environment.) Deanna got them lost, but only because the Universal Translator was on the fritz.

D asks:

Eric Raymond is putting together a new Misfits lineup. 1 through 7, who makes the cut and what do they play?

Hmm: Steve, Diana, Hal, Buzzwang, Jason/Etrigan, Deanna and Leia.

I can't see Diana or Leia putting up with Raymond for long. Deanna's too sweet for a Misfits type set up.

My vote is Steve, Buzzwang and Etrigan. Because Buzzwang's been on stage before. And well. It would not surprise me if Hawaii 5-0 ends up with a Battle of the Bands with Steve somehow being awesome on guitar. It's that kind of show. And well. Etrigan would be a great lyricist.

Judd Winnick annouces he's going to redo 8's orgin. What gets changed? How does 8 respond?

Nothing of substance gets changed, because Ronon and his stungun get a veto. He'll use it.

Jeff R. asks:

3 has agreed to find a date for 3's best friend, and picks someone else with a number. Which one, and how does it go?

Gadget. Because he's that much of a dick. :-) Gadget has a good time at least.

Someone has been stealing other people's lunches from the fridge. Who does 5 think it is, and who is it actually?

Jason thinks it's Ronon because the man has an appetite. It's actually Etrigan, to fuck with him.

D asks:

1, 10, 6, 3 form a wrestling team
Who is the leader?
Who is the midcard/second level?
Which two form the tag team?
what would they call themselves?


Oh dear. Steve, Wanda, Deanna and Hal.

I think Hal wants to be the leader, but he's a dick prone to head injuries so Steve is actually the leader. Hal's second level.

Wanda and Deanna are an awesome tag-team.

And their team name is "Ladies of the Evening." Because Hal was unconscious and Guy got his vote by proxy. (Steve voted yes just to see Danny's reaction when he tells him the story later.)

D asks:

Does 4 have a cool comb?

Nothing Buzzwang has is cool.

Does 8 have roaring blood?

It's Ronon. Of course!

Is there a wallet on 2's arse, and does it have a rock 'n roll license?

Yes. Diana was confused at first but is willing to work with it.

Would 10 met 7 at the crossroads? And would 10 get some kicks on Route 66?

Of course! To both questions. Go Wanda! (Wanda and Leia are an awesome teamup).

1 has been invited to a 'bunga-bunga' party. Does 1 attend? if yes, who does 1 bring as a date? (2 through 10)

Of course! And he brings Ronon, because Ronon could use some more fun in his life. Also because they're the crossover pairing of my heart.

A one eyed shirtless man on a motorcycle has just crashed through 5's wall while firing two machineguns. 5's reaction?

Are we talking Jason or Etrigan? Jason would probably be annoyed, Etrigan would rhyme a dirty joke and turn the guy to a lawn ornament. :-)

D also asks:

it's 4 in the morning. Has 2 been out all night? Does 2 look at you?

Of course!

does 6 have a laugh like a scream from hell?

Probably not. :-P

Will 8 get in the back seat?

Depends on who's driving.

better than a fight squad for 10? Riot squad or sex sqaud? does 10 love riots?

Sex squad. Riots bring back unfortunate memories.

Anonymous asks a doozy:

Due to a miss-hap with a magic love potion, the following occurs:

1 falls in love with 4

4 falls in love with 7

7 falls in love with 10

10 falls in love with 1

9 falls in love with 4

3 falls in love with 4 and 10

In order to break the spell, any two of them must get married.

How does each person cope with the situation?

Who ends up married? How long does it last?

Who makes the biggest fools of themselves? How?

Which random villain or hero crashes the wedding in typyical comic-book fashion?

Does anyone end up together after the spell is broken?


So...Steve falls for Buzzwang (the only time I will ever feel for Buzzwang.)
Buzzwang falls for Leia.
Leia falls for Wanda.
Wanda falls for Steve.
Gadget falls for Buzzwang.
Hal falls for Buzzwang and Wanda.

I think they all cope well enough. Except Buzzwang. Poor Buzzwang.

Steve and Wanda end up married, mostly because Steve can be won over through mass destruction. It might even last since Danny probably reminds Wanda of Clint. Magneto crashes the wedding out of general principle. But eventually decides someone as crazy as Steve must be some kind of mutant.

Hal makes the biggest fool of himself, of course.

Ultimately Gadget and Buzzwang date after it's over.

Ununnilium asks:

4 writes a book featuring parody versions of 1, 5 and 8. What would be the parody characters' names, and what aspects of their personalities would be exaggerated?

The funny thing is I'm pretty sure Steve and Etrigan are pretty much parody characters already. I'm honestly not sure how I would exaggerate them (aside from what I already do with jokes).

I suppose with Steve I'd exaggerate his homicial Rube Goldberg tendencies. I mean, the log trap alone...

So he's Stan McGyver, inventor of insane traps that blow off people's hands instead of arresting them like sane people.

For Jason Blood/Etrigan, I'd play up the split personality. He's Mulligan. Every time he doesn't like the result, he switches to his other personality and tries that way.

I'd exaggerate Ronon's vanity and turn him into Robere, the incredibly violent stereotypical Frenchman, who punches people and then has to fix his hair.

veryclevername asks:

If 1,5, and 6 were to watch tv together what would they watch? Would it be an easy decision or would it end in bloodshed?

Steve, Jason and Deanna. I actually think it'd be an easy decision. Deanna's pretty mild. And Steve's pretty easy going too, when criminals aren't involved and Danny's not there to annoy. Jason doesn't seem much for TV, but Etrigan probably enjoys it.

And if Etrigan tries to misbehave, I suspect that Deanna could keep him in line. In my head, he's afraid of her.

3 and 7 get involved in a Scooby doo/ Nancy Drew type of mystery where someone gets called a meddling kid.

What kind of meddlers would they be called, what's the mystery, and out of the rest of the 10 who would be the secret criminal?


Hmm, it's Hal and Leia. They don't really have a lot in common, in my opinion. She is KINDA a jedi, so I'll go with "meddling superheroes".

Of the other ones, Etrigan's too easy. So I'm going with Deanna Troi. Possibly with assistance from Gadget. It's always the nice ones.

veryclevername also asks:

There is a dodgeball match between the evens and the odds.

Who is the last one standing?
Who was the first to go?
Did anybody cheat?
Who did everybody want to hit(even if they were on the same team)?
And was there anybody no one wanted to hit?


Steve McGarrett's the last one standing.
Hal was the first to go (head shot)
It's better to ask who DIDN'T cheat. (Answer: Diana.)
Everyone wanted to hit Buzzwang.
No one wanted to hit Gadget, because it's just mean!

---

And thus ends this round of the meme! I hope you enjoyed it!

7 Comments:

  • At March 13, 2011 3:41 PM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Hilarious as usual. I was slightly stunned to realize that Guy wasn't in the line-up, but then he did manage to get his licks in while Hal was knocked out, so I'm happy.

    I REALLY do need to start watching more of Hawaii Five-O!

     
  • At March 13, 2011 4:25 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    I figured Guy could use a vacation. :-)

     
  • At March 13, 2011 9:34 PM, Blogger kiragecko said…

    Have you tried the variation where we have to guess the characters from your answers? It's a lot of fun. I usually have to cheat and beg to know how many are from shows/stories I've heard of, but it's cool to try to figure out how the meme maker thinks a character would act.

     
  • At March 13, 2011 9:47 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Hmm, that might be difficult. I like to pick a fairly wide variety (though you can usually guess at least one from whatever I'm currently babbling about on Twitter.)

    I'll have to think about it. :-)

     
  • At March 14, 2011 10:40 AM, Blogger notintheface said…

    Actually, you missed Wanda in your answer to my first question.

    Just as well, though. She might have been tricked by Scott Walker into saying "No...more...UNIONS!"

     
  • At March 14, 2011 3:37 PM, Blogger Ununnilium said…

    Heh heh heh, Mulligan. Good stuff!

     
  • At March 14, 2011 5:28 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Notintheface: Did I? I'm sorry man. Actually, I figured she'd join up with Steve since he's almost a robot (killbot variety) and their mutual ability to wreak havoc would be fun.

     

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