Non-Comic: A Comedically Incoherent Forgotten Realms Geek Rant

This rant is non-comic related, but there are enough RPG geeks here that might appreciate it. If not, well, at least it's incoherent. :-)

I've been reading the Forgotten Realms wiki and man, Corellon Larethian? Is a total dick.

I mean, really, leaving aside the very biased treatment of the dark elves "Yeah, I know MY guys started the war, but you're worse AND you worship my psycho ex-wife, so I'm banishing you. Even you people of the same race who have nothing to do with it, leaving my daughter, who really the fuck annoys Kalinara on general principle, to traipse down to the Underdark with you to try to save your souls or something" which I suppose makes sense from a game perspective. If nothing else, it allows players to play umpteen million good drow that are the unintentional side effect of R.A. Salvatore inflicting Drizzt on us.

But the thing that really struck me as dickish is this:

Araushnee was defeated and cast into the Abyss along with both of her children (despite the fact that Corellon knew Eilistraee had been tricked). Araushnee's banishment also involved Corellon turning her into a bloated spider demon so that he could not be persuaded to reconsider his decision due to her beauty.

Emphasis mine.

See, okay, I get that the former pre-Lolth was a bitch. And tried to kill him. A couple of times. But she's ALREADY getting punished for that. She's getting shoved into the DAMN ABYSS. But he turns her into a spider thing BECAUSE SHE IS PRETTY.

That's adding insult to injury. Not to mention, way to blame the wife for your own flaws, dude. The fact that YOU can't keep it in your pants long enough to punish the woman who tried to kill you, is not HER fault. No wonder she comes back to steal a chunk of your people and try to kill your ass again. Hmph.

Even though, I'm aware that 4th Edition decided to mess with the Pantheon, I still maintain that the whole reason behind the threefold goddess-wife thing was because none of those goddesses individually wanted to deal with Corellon Larethian any more than is necessary.

Dick.