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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

A Silly Idea for a Superheroic Annoyance...

The discussion in the replies to this post got me to thinking of something I'd love to see in the DCU (new Earth version):

A group of self-labeled "Darwinists"* that protest the existance of superheroines on the belief that they're meant to be the harbingers of the future heroic generations. Basically, they're a superheroic version of those crackpots who argue that women shouldn't go to war because of the danger to their breeding potential.

(Edited to Add: "Darwinist" is only a working nickname for them really, not intended to be a slight on evolution supporters, as I'm one myself. If anyone has any suggestion for a better name, that would be cool. :-))

The idea, of course, is that since superheroes are so powerful, naturally, their genes should be spread as far as possible. Superman, for example, should be sleeping with Wonder Woman, as well as as many Earth women as possible in hopes that his power carries down into the next generation. Naturally since the man's role in the physical act of reproduction ends fairly quickly, the crackpots won't protest their heroism, but the WOMEN should be protecting their uterii at all costs!

Academics write theses upon theses on which superheroes should be bred together for ideal results. Picketers march outside the JLA and JSA headquarters to protest the "endangerment of valuable genetic material".

It has the potential to be decidedly amusing. Imagine, poor Black Canary rescues some guy and he immediately, lividly lectures her on neglecting her responsibilities as a metahuman woman! She should be pregnant! How dare she waste that womb!

Heh, imagine BARDA's reaction. Or Manhunter.

Not even the supervillainesses would be safe from this utter stupid lunacy!

Poor Diana would appear on talk shows like Larry King to reasonably debate these idiots. (Because really, only Diana's polite enough to actually try to reason with these people.)

I don't really imagine them as real villains, of course, just minor annoyances/irritations/comic relief that could pop up anywhere. They're a bit one-note jokes, but when does THAT stop anything. :-P

And at some point, they should actually be revealed to be manipulated by a supervillain, that way we get the vicarious enjoyment of watching heroines beat the crap out of the person behind this nonsense.

Hey, you guys have you adolescent power fantasies and I have mine. :-)

20 Comments:

  • At May 09, 2007 3:03 AM, Blogger Ragnell said…

    Not even the supervillainesses would be safe from this utter stupid lunacy!

    Geoff Johns needs to write this. I want to see the intestines here.

     
  • At May 09, 2007 8:35 AM, Anonymous jayunderscorezero said…

    I'm not so sure about calling them "Darwinists". Even though its clearly meant somewhat ironically, it still sounds like - on some level - they're a satire aimed at people who follow Darwin at all, i.e. people who believe in evolution.

     
  • At May 09, 2007 8:47 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    That's a good point, jay. I'm very much an evolution supporter myself, so do you have any suggestions for the name?

     
  • At May 09, 2007 9:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Meta-Darwinists,perhaps?

     
  • At May 09, 2007 10:07 AM, Blogger Jeff Rients said…

    I love this idea. But they need a long, pompous name like the Society for the Propogation of the Meta-Fittest

     
  • At May 09, 2007 10:23 AM, Blogger Sleestak said…

    Looks like Glorious Godfrey is due a return.

     
  • At May 09, 2007 10:54 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Oddly enough, this was an idea that was quite prevalent in Germany about 70 years ago or so. Keep the women at home, reproducing nice blonde Aryans.

    *shudder*

    The Walking Wombs idea is so twisted, that it would work.

     
  • At May 09, 2007 10:55 AM, Blogger Steven said…

    I don't really imagine them as real villains, of course

    Really, cause, I do. Obviously, there are the annoyances you describe who just want Black Canary to stay in the kitchen, but I could also imagine real nut jobs with the power to try "forced" conceptions.

    I mean it's gross and wrong, but that's what makes a good villain.

     
  • At May 09, 2007 1:06 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    True, Steven. And the more outright villains, the more people for the superheroines to beat up! :-) I like that!

     
  • At May 09, 2007 1:18 PM, Anonymous green with wheelpower said…

    Can you imagine Bats, or any of that groups reaction to this, I think it would go something like this: "HEY HUMANITY, AND YOU BARELY DESERVE THE TITLE, THE WORLD'S NEVER SAFE BUT IF YOU WOULD LIVE UP TO YOUR POTENTIAL YOU WOULDN'T NEED US,@#$%! (dark withering stare to put God to shame) goes off in disgust.

    Or as Frank Miller had him say: "PUT ON YOUR TIGHTS!" OMFG I jus bent a Frank Miller quote to the support of Women's Rights... Hell just froze over... :)

    Also to contribute medical facts to this discussion here's somethings y'all should know.

    1. baring direct injury to the female reproductive system, which by the way is much harder to get to then the male, it being on the INSIDE, no physical disability from injury would result in sterility, not even paralsis from the neck down.

    2. As for chemical exposure, it is actually far more likely in cities and munitions factories then on the battle field. this is because chemical warfare is generally restricted not to mention ridiculed. However a 1/3 or more of woman who worked in munitions plants were rendered in fertile (look up "The Girls With Yellow Hands" a section of a PBS program on WWI&II, www.pbs.org

    3. Nuclear weapons were only ever deployed against major cities and are 90+% aimed at targets inlarge CIVILIAN areas.

    Thanks for reading.

     
  • At May 09, 2007 5:05 PM, Anonymous Caudo42 said…

    "Meta-eugenists" is a good description of what those misguided souls are.

     
  • At May 09, 2007 5:21 PM, Blogger universalperson said…

    Who would be behind those crazy villians though?

    Vandal Savage?

     
  • At May 09, 2007 6:59 PM, Blogger Captain Infinity said…

    Academics write theses upon theses on which superheroes should be bred together for ideal results.

    So...these people are message board posters?

     
  • At May 09, 2007 9:14 PM, Anonymous Daisy said…

    Since you're talking about eugenics, not natural, I'd like to suggest "Galtonists" rather than "Darwinists."

     
  • At May 09, 2007 11:13 PM, Blogger Your Obedient Serpent said…

    Ow. Kalinara and Steven both used Dinah as a the target for a lecture from one of these guys.

    Didn't the incident that got Dinah on the Refrigerator List also damage her reproductive system to the point that she couldn't have children anymore? (Please correct me if I'm wrong; I haven't read Longbow Hunters since it came out.)

    Gaaaah. If she SAID as much, they'd say it proved their POINT!!

    green:
    The objection that women shouldn't fight because of their breeding potential assumes that the potential breeders might become fatalities, a state which tends to remove one from the gene pool in the "Darwin Awards" sense.

    On top of that, there are a lot of super-beings who toss around radiation like it was just flashy lights and colors. (The fact that, in comics, it often is is beside the point!)

     
  • At May 10, 2007 9:17 AM, Anonymous green with wheelpower said…

    YOS Up until the 50's that was true but w/ the advent of donated blood & the M.A.S.H. unit the ratio of wounded to dead is VERY HIGH. Add to that the collateral civilian damage in the latest wars is appalling, it is far safer to be a soldier then sheep.

    And if were talking evolution aren't we defeating it's purpose by restricting them not to mention superheroes exist universally for a purpose? What damage does it do any male offspring nurture-wise to see their mothers as such?

    I believr in universal equality that is my right and oppion. And no reaction to my flaming Miller:(

     
  • At May 10, 2007 12:16 PM, Blogger Susan said…

    This is a brilliant idea and I want to read it.

    It's wonderful because it probably would happen!

     
  • At May 10, 2007 3:26 PM, Anonymous green with wheelpower said…

    Darwin awards tend to refference death due to stupidity though, as in removing the unfit, and for the life of me I can't think of a superheroine that applys to.

    As for the term Meta-neitzchian (sp?) or Meta-nazi. The phillospher did hate the nazi perversion of his work in fact.

     
  • At May 10, 2007 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "Superman, for example, should be sleeping with Wonder Woman, as well as as many Earth women as possible"

    But, humans can't breed with kryptonians!

     
  • At May 10, 2007 9:33 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    anon: Heh, THEY don't know that. :-p

     

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