Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Warren Ellis is a funny man:

Okay, so if you ever read Warren Ellis's Excalibur-based miniseries Pryde and Wisdom (which is great fun), you might notice something a little funny:

Back story is that a contact's daughter has been kidnapped. So Pete and Kitty make contact with F:66, the Department of Unusual Death.

There is a vaguely familiar face in the crowd:

On close up:

One Constance Johannsen, a blond, chain smoking, trench-coated occultist whose friends all die.

In the Marvel Universe, John Constantine is a woman. I love gender-swap.


  • At May 16, 2006 10:09 AM, Blogger Diamondrock said…

    Not as much as I do. I *still* think that the new Blue Beetle should've been Ted Kord reincarnated as a girl. It would've been so damn funny.

  • At May 16, 2006 1:08 PM, Blogger Steven said…

    Okay, so Constance Johanessen is John Constantine (or Joanna Constantine, DCU's actual female Hellblazer), and Inspector Strangefoot is Dr. Strange.

    Who's Bob supposed to be?

    And Diamondrock, is your idea a woman who acts like Ted (geeky and goofy but heroic when the time comes, and according to our host a perfect girlfriend for Nightwing), or actually Ted, back from the dead but in a woman's body (which I imagine he would stare at a lot in the mirror).

    And of course s/he'd be cute, so Booster would start hitting on her out of habit, which would be hysterical and bizarre and highly disturbing all at the same time.

  • At May 16, 2006 1:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My guess?Bob is Ozzy*air guitar mega-riff*

  • At May 16, 2006 2:03 PM, Blogger Ferrous Buller said…

    Ordinarily I dislike overt in-jokes like this - outside of outright parody titles like the Tick, I mean - because it disrupts my suspension of disbelief to have the fourth wall prodded so obviously. But "all my friends are dead and they bloody haunt me" is about as awesome a line of dialogue as I've ever read, so all is forgiven.

    Plus what's not to love about her hair?

  • At May 16, 2006 2:13 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    diamondrock: Hey, I'm pretty sure that was my idea. :-P You can't trump me with my own idea. :-P

    steven: You got me.

    And for the record the idea was Ted reincarnated/possessing a girl. Because that's inherently amusing. And you get all the bemused and boggled reactions from everyone, *including* Ted.

    anon: Hee.

    Ferrous: Her hair is fantastic. Besides, it kind of works in a sense. Marvel is a Hellblazer AU. hee.

    Actually what makes it confusing is I'd have said Wisdom *himself* was a version of John that was quite a bit younger, dark haired and a mutant ex-spy rather than an occultist. :-) Pete does have a little more joie de vivre, I suppoe.

  • At May 16, 2006 8:07 PM, Anonymous Ron said…

    Hell, I'm just impressed Warren Ellis gets away with having characters smoking in Marvel Comics.

  • At May 16, 2006 8:59 PM, Blogger CalvinPitt said…

    I think Bob is Kevin Smtih.

    Or maybe Quesada, the "Thinks he's the most powerful force in the universe" seems appropirate for Joey Q.

    But I have no idea what he looks like.

  • At May 16, 2006 9:22 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Hmm, rereading previous comment...I can't type. Heh.

    ron: Well, he *is* Warren Ellis.

    calvin: Heh. You got me.

  • At May 16, 2006 10:53 PM, Blogger Jon said…

    Don't know what Joe Quesada looks like?

    Joe Quesada looks like the pizza delivery guy that the all-girl gang hits on, stereotypical porno-style, in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. This is chiefly because that was, in fact, Joe Quesada. Acting.

  • At May 17, 2006 1:50 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    jon: That was him?! Really? Now I have to see it again!

  • At May 17, 2006 5:52 AM, Blogger Marionette said…

    I can't laugh at these kind of in-jokes anymore. Not in a Marvel comic. They spoiled the joke when they made whole new comics using characters they'd ripped off from DC that they were only legally able to get away with because nobody had complained when they were used as in-jokes.

  • At May 17, 2006 9:06 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    marionette: This is where my almost absolute Marvel cluelessness (barring things like Excalibur and the occasional Fantastic Four) helps. I can laugh because ignorance is bliss. :-)

  • At May 17, 2006 3:37 PM, Anonymous Dan Coyle said…

    Ron: Ah, but this series was ten years ago, when Bob Harras was EiC and cared not for whether characters smoked or not, or whether any of the books were remotely entertaining or comprehensible.

    The funnier thing about Quesada's cameo in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is that in the deleted scenes he's being dry-humped by Eliza Dushku, because KS wanted the burglar girls to do an all-out lesbian orgy (gee, that's not too pathetic, Bob) and Dushku wouldn't do it.

  • At May 17, 2006 4:46 PM, Blogger kalinara said…


  • At May 17, 2006 5:06 PM, Blogger Ferrous Buller said…

    There's something I find really appealing about Constance's face in that picture: attractive, sure, but more than that which I can't quite put my finger on; but she's sorta got the allure of classic screen sirens, rather than your run-of-the-mill comics babe, is what I mean.

  • At May 17, 2006 5:34 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    It *is* nice, isn't it? I think it's because she's supposed to be older. Considering how old John is, and thus a lot of that plasticky quality is gone.

  • At May 17, 2006 6:10 PM, Blogger Ferrous Buller said…

    It is unfortunately rare for female comics characters to have the sort of dead-sexy-cool vibe going for them that Constance does: they're usually perky, sexpots, or perky sexpots.

  • At May 17, 2006 6:49 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    There's that too. :-) I still think some of that's to do with age. Women aren't often allowed to age as much as men, so they're still often relegated to perky or sexpots. Whereas poise and coolness come from age and experience.

    Just my theory anyway.

  • At May 17, 2006 11:38 PM, Blogger Ferrous Buller said…

    No, I agree; and I think it's true of both men and women. I think most men don't start developing some dignity until about, say, 30. Just commenting on how rare (and nice) it is to see an adult female character with poise and style who hasn't been shunted into either the "sexpot" or "mommy" tracks. :-)

  • At May 18, 2006 1:55 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    *nod* I agree, it's *very* nice to see.


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