Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Saturday, December 04, 2010


Edited to add my LIST:

Today's batch is themed with 80s cartoons, sci-fi and even a few comic book characters to boot!

1. Major/Colonel Kira Nerys (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)
2. Major/Colonel John Sheppard (Stargate Atlantis)
3. Jem/Jerrica Benton (Jem and the Holograms)
4. She-Ra/Princess Adora (She-Ra: Princess of Power)
5. Shane Gooseman (Galaxy Rangers)
6. Sven (Voltron)
7. Ice/Tora Olafsdottir (DCU)
8. Green Lantern/Hal Jordan (DCU)
9. Rogue (Marvel)
10. Gambit (Marvel)

bookslide asks:

2 and 4 go to the opposite side (good guys go bad, bad guys go good). What happens to make the change, and what happens afterward?

Hmm, John Sheppard and She-Ra both go dark side.

John's pretty...well, he's pulls some verging on the dark side stuff in season 4, particularly, but somehow always manages to stay just on this side of light. So I'll go with either villainous brainwashing or turning into a giant blue bug again. Either way, it'll probably end up with one of his team talking him down until the others knock him out and drag him back to Atlantis to deal with it.

She-Ra, well, she did already have a villain-to-hero turn. So I'll go with magic spell from Shadow Weaver. The Rebels will have to go call He-Man again, for another cute crossover adventure.

8 gets a job with the carnival. What's the job?

Hal Jordan? Runs the Kissing Booth, of course.

3 and 7 are really into some traditional American sport. What is it, and how ridiculous do they get at the matches?

Hmm. Jem and Tora. Got to admit, I can't really see those two girls at a football game (though could you IMAGINE how turned on that would make Guy Gardner?).

So I'll cheat and go with Soccer. The guys are generally hot, and it's popular in Europe. :-)

1 and 5 fall in love. What's the fallout?

Kira and Goose fall in love?

A lot of explosions. A lot.

And Quark mocks Kira for dating jailbait.

6, 9, and 10 team up. What do they do?

Sven, Rogue and Gambit team up...

Well, Sven probably dies gets heroically injured again. So he'll get taken out early. Rogue will be nice to him, and maybe flirt, and Gambit will get jealous and annoy the hell out of me.

Seangreyson asks:

3 has to marry 7, 8 or 9 to save the Earth from invasion. Who does 3 choose?

Jem has to marry Ice, Hal, or Rogue to save the Earth.

Well, the most probable choice is Hal. Seeing as how Jem seemed to be straight in the cartoon (Kimber, on the other hand...). Also, she seems prone to dating self-absorbed assholes.

notintheface asks:

All 10 characters get Facebook pages. Who friends who? What kind of content is on each of their walls? Who unfriends who?

Hmm, well, I picked all good guys this time around, so really I could see them all friending each other. Kira, John and Goose probably all have shared interest in mayhem. Almost all of them are on teams and have shared some kind of leadership role and so on.

Kira posts current events news about Bajor, the Federation, and politics.

John just uses it to plan team get togethers.

Ice and Sven talk back and forth in Scandinavian languages.

Hal and Gambit flirt with girls online all the time.

Jem posts concert footage. Scott Summers always tries to get Rogue to get him her autograph.

She-Ra uses hers to keep in touch with her brother.

Rogue and Gambit used to cyber all the time, but thankfully stopped.

I don't really imagine any of them unfriending any of the others.

D asks:

1 has stolen 40 cakes. What does 9 think?

Rogue will end up turning to Beast and saying that Star Trek has gotten much weirder lately.

2 and 8 dress up as Hal Jordan. Who gets hit on the head first, and who wins best behind?

John Sheppard and ...Hal Jordan. Oh dear.

Well, I think Hal probably gets hit on the head first, though John's will probably accompany more trauma and a doubtlessly insane reaction.

Hal wins best behind also, because well, John's kind of scrawny.

3 is told by Sally Floyd that he/she is not a REAL American and that pop culture floatism is the true worth of a person. 3's response?

Jem will sing a profoundly meaningful song about child labor in China, of course.

5 is told by the Devil that they must give up their marriage/S.O. in order to save an old woman. 5's answer?

Well, Gooseman, my shipper heart aside, ends his series unattached. And is about 19 anyway, and thus probably too young to really be tied down.

That said, I think he'd resort to the "blow that fucker up" approach. He's fun that way.

7 discovers a group of heroes are building a prison in the Negative Zone and are planning on shooting another hero into space without a trial. What does 7 do?

I imagine Ice would not approve. And she has connections. I'd like to think that she'd start via diplomatic channels, then bring Superman into the mix if that didn't work. Somehow I don't think it'd fly with him.

10 is approached by the Avengers, Teen Titians, and the Agents of Atlas. Which team does he/she join?

Considering how old Rogue is when he started macking on her? I'll go with Teen Titans.

3 is approached by the Justice League of America, the Defenders, and the Secret Six. Which team does he/she join?

I enjoy the thought of Jem in the Justice League. They always seemed like they'd need music videos.

5 finds a red, blue, and a yellow power ring. Which Corp do they join?

Aw. While he does have something of a temper, it usually requires a bit to set it off. He's the soft spoken Eastwood type parody anyway.

I'll go with blue, since he's got the whole "I have to save/capture my colleagues" thing going on. It's not really the best fit, but it works better than the others.

6 wakes up in between 2 and 8. 4's reponse?

Sven wakes up between John Sheppard and Hal Jordan. He's kind of a calm, low-key guy, so I imagine he'll just swear off Arusian alcohol, roll over and go back to sleep

Now HAL's reaction should be priceless.

4 and 8 are playing strip Clue. Who ends up naked first?

She-Ra vs. Hal. Well, let's be honest. Hal's no brain trust. So I'm going with Hal.

Rogue wakes up in 2's body. What do they do?

I'd imagine she would take the opportunity to touch as many people as possible without hurting them. This will promptly get her stunned by Ronon Dex, because the idea of John Sheppard willingly touching anyone is pretty much an indicator of mind-control.

7 is tasked with creating a new series staring 3. What is their pitch?

Ice creating a series starring Jem. Eurovision, DCU style.

Dude, I've seen what Scandinavians come up with.* It'd be awesome.

(*blatant stereotyping)

6 decides to dress up as Robin. Does 4 help or hinder 6?

I think She-Ra will be very confused, but would totally help Sven. She understands the joy of leotards and boots.

5 is kissed by Kyle Rayner. How long before he/she dies?

Gooseman survived a black hole, so I think Kyle wouldn't necessarily be able to KILL him.

He'll probably end up amnesiac on a planet with his bio-defenses gone crazy again though.

Easier job for 8-marriage counselor for Green Arrow or drinking buddy for Guy?

It's Hal. He's done both. He was better at drinking buddy too (as long as he doesn't pass out first, because he'll totally wake up with "penis" written on his forehead.)

4 wakes uo to discover he/she is in the FUNKEY WINKERBEAN universe. The response?

I suspect She-Ra will be very confused.

D also asks:

1, 9, 8, and 4 form a band. Who plays what?

Kira, Hal, Ice and She-Ra form a band.

For some weird reason, I've always imagined Kira as a drummer. Ice can be the keyboardist. She-Ra the vocalist, and Hal the guitarist.

It comes to an end when Hal gets beaned by a falling yellow spotlight.

2,5, and 3 decide to form a Joise & the Pussycats tribute band. Who wears the long tails and ears for hats, and (6 through 10) who decides to sabotage the group so they can join?

John, Shane and Jem.

Well, Goose and Jem actually have musical experience (80s battle of the bands episodes FTW). John always struck me as being tone deaf, so they'll use him for eye-candy and he'll have to wear ears and tails. (Jem would wear 'em anyway, and Gooseman probably won't unless blackmailed.)

I'll go with Ice. It's always the sweet ones.

6 is trapped in an elevator with Superboy Prime. What does 6 do?

Probably die, become "seriously injured"

D also asks:

1 through 5 are trapped as zombified version of 6 through 10 are outside. How do they handle this?

Well, given that it's Kira, John, Jem, She-Ra and Shane Gooseman, I'm guessing they involve it with a lot of explosions, violence, and a music video.

Pulp version (1 through 10)
Who is the square-jawed hero?
Who is the mustache twirling villian?
Who is the damsel in distress?
Who is the plucy comic relief?

Hmm, Hero: Hal Jordan. He's got the square jaw.

Villain: Gambit. Not because he's evil, but he's the only one I can see twirling a mustache.

Damsel: Well, more honestly, it'd probably be Jem, but it amuses me more to suggest John Sheppard.

Comic Relief: Sven. Because I will laugh when he dies becomes "seriously injured."

D asks:

Giallo verison (6 though 10)
Who is the bystander who gets caught up in the crime?
Who is the red herring?
Who is the real killer? (bonus points if you reveal why)

Sven is the bystander, and will die become "seriously injured".

Gambit's the red herring, because he's an X-Man and that's his luck. (Rogue is second choice herring).

The actual killer is Ice because she's pissed off about what Judd Winick did to her backstory.

80's horror (1 through 6)
Who is the Final girl/guy?
Who is the jerk?
Who is the stoner?
Who is the useless authority figure?
Who is expert/weird loner?
Who is the killer?

Hmm, well, She-Ra, John and Kira are all authority figures, but they're all fairly good at their jobs. I'll go with Jem as useless authority figure, because she's supposedly a band leader, but needed a hologram machine to actually do something.

John is lazy and laid-back seeming, so he's the stoner.

Gooseman is a loner type, with weird expertise. But I'll pick Sven, because the expert always dies gets seriously injured.

Kira's cranky sometimes, so she's the jerk.

Since the virgin lasts longest, I'll call Gooseman as the final one.

This leaves She-Ra as the killer, it's somewhat implausble, but the Whispering Woods was full of people I wouldn't mind seeing her go serial killer on so I'll go with it.

D asks:

Harder for 5: beating the Red Hulk or ballroom dancing with 3?

Ballroom dancing, but Niko will teach him, so it will be adorable.

A war is brewing between heroes. How does 9 stop it?

Well, she's a Marvel hero and an X-Man to boot so I don't really put a lot of stock in her peace-making ability. I guess she can drain them?

2 must work with John Bryne. How does it end?

I think Byrne would be confused at Sheppard's insistance that his characters talk too much about feelings, and that maybe any sex should be of the glowy incorporeal variety.

D asks:

1,3,4,9 all decide to form a super team of their own. What is their name?

Hmm. Kira, Jem, She-Ra and Rogue.

I have no idea, but it would be awesome. My vote would be "Helmut Sparkle".

2,5,6,10 become their arch foes. What is their name, and what fiendish plot are they hatching?

John, Gooseman, Sven and Gambit.

Well, I'd imagine their plot is to somehow cause mass explosions and injure themselves.

John Sheppard and Shane Gooseman would survive.

Sven would get dead "seriously injured".

Gambit would hit on the women and skeeve me out.

Movie night: 7 is picking the films for 1 through 10. What genre does he/she pick?

Hmm. Ice is a considerate girl. I'd go pulp sci-fi. It's familiar enough to She-Ra, Kira, John, and Sven.

Something like Barbarella would appeal to Gambit and Hal.

Jem would enjoy the terrible costumes, and Rogue well, her adopted mom is a blue woman in a kinky dress, so I think she'd enjoy it too.

8 becomes trapped in the Glaxy of Terror. What hidden fear does 8 encounter, and does he/she die?

Impotence. And no, but it's close.

LurkerWithout asks:

1 is found in bed with 3 by 5 while staying a
7 (who 1 secretly loves) countryside estate. 7 is married to 9 (who is having an affair with 5) but has been friends with 1 since college...

2 is found murdered. Was it 4, 6 or 8? All have motives involving money and/or revenge. Only Inspector 10 can solve it!

Hmm, well. Gambit. So it's kind of fucked anyway.

I'm going with Sven, but not for money or revenge, but because John's deathwish threatens the only thing Sven actually managed to DO in his series.

D asks:

Jim Balent version:
8 finds him/her self forced to team up with Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose. How do they get along?

Hal Jordan? Well, I think HE'd have fun.

4 stumbles into the Skeleton Man. How long before his bumbling makes 4 snap?

She-Ra's got a lot of patience for bumblers, so she'd probably put up with a lot. Besides, she seems to have a taste for beta men.

7 encounters Raven Hex as she plans to unleash hell upon the mortal world (again). What does 7 do, and what fashion advice does 7 give the clothing challenged witch?

Ice is a nice girl, so I'd imagine they talk it out for a while. And being from a cold climate, with a (usually) fairly modest wardrobe, I'm sure she could introduce her to some fetching items that could actually cover her.

10 interrupts a lover's spat between a bi-curious werecat and a cheerleader themed vampire. What does 10 say to settle things, and does 2 believe him/her afterward?

I kind of imagine Gambit channeling Quagmire of Family Guy all of "You ladies ever been penetrated?"

When they team up to beat the crap out of him, it resolves things.

John Sheppard is skeptical, but doubtlessly heard stranger.

D asks:

3 sees a girl pulling a football away from a round headed kid before he can kick it. What does 3 do?

Jem sings a song about the importance of sharing. Then Lucy kicks her in the shin and runs off to join the Misfits.

7 gets a rock. What does 7 do with it?

I like the thought that she gives it to Guy. Guy seems like the sort that'd appreciate the gesture. And he'd take good care of a pet rock.

10 has to direct a Christmas play. Of 1 through 9, who plays what?

Gambit's Christmas play. Hmm. What roles are there?

Mary - Well, Kira did get pregnant without having sex sorta. So I guess she works.

Joseph - John Sheppard would probably enjoy the whole 'not having to sleep with his wife' thing.

Jesus - Um, well, Sven does die get "seriously injured" for our sins..

Angels - Jem can sing an angelic 80s rock beat to enlighten the Shepherds. Shane shapechanges, so I bet he can grow wings.

Shepherd - Hal Jordan, because I cannot in good conscience make him a wise man

Wise Men - She-Ra, Tora, Rogue.

D asks:

9 gets waylaid in a town filled with hungry ghouls. What does 9 do?

Depends on her powers at the time, but I'd like to think she punches shit.

5 is trapped in a mall filled with zombies. The end result?

That poor mall will never be the same.

What would 1 do for a Klondike bar?

Kill Quark. (But she probably doesn't need the Klondike bar)

It's 3 AM and 4 and 6 have the munchies. Where do they go?

She-Ra and Sven. I don't remember either series really having a culinary master, so I'll go with Helmut Sparkle and his hobo feeding extravaganza.

8 discovers someone made a adult spoof of him/her. What is 8's reaction?

Complaints that the lead actor isn't "sufficiently endowed." Guy just snorts beer out his nose and laughs "You wish."

Willow-Bee the Cat said:

1 thru 4 have to do a group project on the book Wicked for a literature class at a local community college. Do they come to blows over differing opinions on the characters or do they manage to get the job done?

Hmm, Kira, John, Jem and She-Ra. I do imagine they'd have differing views on the characters. Kira's from Bajor after all, and John reads Russian literature, so I imagine they have a more depressing take than Jem or She-Ra (who might side with them or not.)

I suspect they can get along, especially once Jem sings a song about it.

5 is trying to set 6 up on a date with 7, while 8 is trying to set 6 up with 5 and 7 is trying to set up 6 and 8. What wacky hijinks ensue and how does 6 feel about everybody trying to set them up on a date?

Hmm, Goose trying to set Sven with Ice (well, they ARE both Scandinavian?) while Hal is trying to set Sven up with Goose (...not sure of that logic except that maybe he worries Goose will ruin his status as most virile male?), while Ice is trying to set up Sven and Hal (because she's a sweet girl, and possibly because Guy is bribing her.)

I think a fist fight breaks out, at the very least. Ice wins. Sven is bemused. And possibly dead "injured".

9 and 10 find out that there is fanfiction websites dedicated to 9/10 stories, what is their reaction. Do they think it's the plot of a supervillain? Do they just not care?

Gambit would be more amused than Rogue, but I suspect they wouldn't really care. Mr. Sinister must have been bored that week.

D asks:

A vampire tells 6 that he/she spent the night watching 6 sleep, then disabled the engine in 6's car/spaceship/power ring/means of transportation. The vampire also swears that 6 can never see his/her family again. 6's reponse?

Sven has access to a giant robot lion. I suspect his team will have something to say about the sabotage. Especially the royal family of Arus.

Said Vampire will probably get executed for treason. Sweet.

4 must make the world's greatest sandwich or the Earth is doomed. What does 4 put in the sandwich?

Hmm, probably weird Etherian ingredients. And magic. It'll be good but un-reproduceable.

8 is 120 miles from Chicago, it's dark. Does 8 wear sunglasses?

Nah, Hal is that much of a dork, but sunglasses aren't his style.

1 through 5
Who would wear an ascot?
Who is clumsy?
Who finds the clues?
Who would get the Scooby snacks?
Who would tolerate Scrappy-Doo?

I'll go with: Shane wears the ascot (because he does. AND is tall and blond)

John Sheppard is clumsy.

Kira Nerys finds the clues.

Jem gets the scooby snacks

And She-Ra tolerates scrappy because well, dealing with Madame Razz builds your tolerance.

D asks:

Thanksgiving time


Who cooks the turkey?
Who makes the dressing? (and what do they put in it?)
Who makes the side salad, and what kind is it? (congeled, cranberry, etc.)
Who brings the desert and what kind is it?

Kira, She-Ra, Sven and Rogue.

Kira cooks the turkey (it's an entertaining disaster).

She-Ra, since her headquarters is in the woods, makes salad. It involves those weird puff ball trees though.

Sven makes the dressing.

Rogue'll bring something good and deliciously southern. Like Mud pie or something.

D asks:

1 through 10
Who has the Touch?
Who has the Power?
Who never walks or runs?
Who's a fighter?
Who stands the ground?
Who never gives in when their back's to the wall?
Who fights to the end?
Who takes it all?
Who in the eye of the storm when all hell's breaking loose?
Who has the motion?

In order:

John Sheppard

D also asks:

Galaxy Rangers: the Movie

1,5,8: who makes the best director?

2,3,4,6,7,9, 10
Who plays what?

Kira, Gooseman or Hal. Kira actually. Gooseman's too close to the subject.

Of the others:

Zach: Rogue.
Niko: John Sheppard. I know he's older and more commonly a leader than Rogue, but Rogue's angstier and well, this keeps the gender swap complete.
Doc: I don't really have a hacker in this set-up, but Jem works closest with a computer AI I think, so we'll go with that.
Gooseman: She-Ra, Badass blond with superpowers. Easy mix.

Buzzwang: Gambit
Zozo: Ice (her badassery is under-appreciated)
Waldo: Sven.

D asks:

Who is truly, truly outrageous?
who is the starfire champion?

This was not intentional. But since She-Ra's from the 80s, I'll let her be outrageous to Kira's Starfire champion.

6 through 10
Who forms the feet and legs?
who forms the arms and torso?
And who forms the head?

Also not intentional.


Sven was a leg before he got killed "seriously injured", so we'll let him keep that.

I can never remember if Hunk or Pidge was the other leg. I think Pidge might have been, so we'll put Ice in his place.

The arms should be Lance and Hunk then. Rogue's a bruiser, and Gambit annoys me, so they can be the arms.

Finally, Hal gets to be the head. That poor mentally deficient robot.

It'll get hit with a yellow spaceship.


The end!


  • At December 04, 2010 10:28 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Haw! A hoot as usual. A hoot and a HALF!

    And although Guy wasn't actually IN this one, he was skirmishing around the edges, so that was nice. And th thought of Hal waking up hung over with the word "penis" written on his forehead just fills me with delight.

  • At December 04, 2010 2:45 PM, Anonymous D said…

    Excellent as always

    Also, Voltron's legs were Hunk and Sven/Alllura. Pidge and Lance were the arms.

  • At December 04, 2010 5:16 PM, Blogger LurkerWithout said…

    Awesome, without even knowing the characters I manage to turn the odds into a lesbian Jane Austen style slash-fic...


  • At December 05, 2010 6:17 PM, Blogger Elizabeth B said…

    "That poor mall will never be the same." WIN.

  • At December 11, 2010 12:16 PM, Anonymous Milathea said…

    Mmmm... Shane as a angel ? I approve (but the warrior, sword-wielding type, I guess...) :)

  • At December 11, 2010 9:10 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Oh, yes. As amusing as it would be to inflict a harp on the poor boy, I would never deny Shane Gooseman the opportunity to smite some ass. :-P


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