Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Saturday, January 26, 2008

Oh, Millar...

Oh man, this promises to be something else.

I'm saying this as a person who likes over-the-top dark future type stories too. So right now, I'm looking at it going "Inbred Hulk Grandchildren? Um. Okay, I can deal with that." I don't necessarily think it's a particularly inspired idea and could promise to end up decidedly stupid pretty fast. I do think there's some potential there, offensive though it may be.

But really, Millar. "Spider-bitch"? At least "Hulk's inbred grandchildren" is an offensiveness that takes some actual thought to achieve. "Spider-bitch", in contrast, is like the clumsy flailing attempts of an infant reaching tiny fists blindly toward the goal of provocation. It's not offensive as much as it is merely stupid. Worse than that, it's pitiful.

Millar's not even trying anymore, is he?

15 Comments:

  • At January 26, 2008 5:39 AM, Blogger LurkerWithout said…

    Millar to Quesada: Its like one of those "The End" comics. But where all your characters have been turned into the Evil Religious Hillbillys from Preacher. It'll be like printing money! I swear! And me and Art Monkey can TOTALLY keep this one coming out on time. TOTALLY!

    Quesada: I can never say to you.

    And then they kiss. Because honestly in my mind the Quimby Continuum are totally having sex. Ugly, sweaty nerd sex...

    My mind is a horrible, horrible place...

     
  • At January 26, 2008 5:45 AM, Blogger LurkerWithout said…

    Actually I am looking forward to this being published. Mighty God King's parody photoshop version will be PURE GOLD AWESOME!

     
  • At January 26, 2008 9:40 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Oh for the love of God...NO! I can't even begin to wrap my mind around the horror of this.

    Mark...sweetie...it's funny when Garth Ennis does it, but seriously, you need to either up the meds or cut back, I'm not sure which.

     
  • At January 26, 2008 9:48 AM, Blogger LurkerWithout said…

    Hell, attempts at reading The Boys and The Chronicles of Wormwood show its not really that funny anymore when Garth Ennis does it...

    Unless Hitman is involved...

     
  • At January 26, 2008 9:59 AM, OpenID looking2dastars said…

    Looks like Millar is trying once again to become Marvel's Grant Morrison.

    Shame he chose to sniff White-Out instead of drinking 27 Red Bull's at lunch...

     
  • At January 26, 2008 3:45 PM, Blogger Zaratustra said…

    He's more of a Marvel's Garth Ennis, really, like the other people said. Specially because he hates superheroes as much as Ennis does.

    Seriously, is this the same person that wrote Red Son?

     
  • At January 26, 2008 3:50 PM, Blogger Will "Filby" Staples said…

    I don't know what to make of Millar. He's one of the best Superman writers out there, but the rest of his output is just... whew.

    I view Garth Ennis the same way, Superman skills included.

     
  • At January 26, 2008 5:59 PM, Blogger K. D. Bryan said…

    I think the only explanation is that Internet Trolls have infected Millar's brain.

    Millar: "I know! I'll write an intriguing future dystopia story about Wolverine. If I adopt a similar political tact like I did in Red Sun it may, in fact, even work as a great social criti-"

    INTERNET TROLL: "D00D U SHLD MAK INBERD HULKS LOL"

    Millar: "Wait - I must add . . . Inbred Hulks! Yes! I suppose they could be a metaphor for the-"

    INTERNET TROLL: "SPIDERMAN WUZ A BITCH IN THAT 1 FUTRE STORY U CLD SEE HIZ WANG LOL"

    Millar *eye twitching*: "And- AND SPIDER-BITCH! Yes!
    Wa- wait, Spider-Bitch? Is that right? Something's not- Oh, GOD. This isn't me- I can't stop typing this! GET OUT OF MY HEAD, DAMN YOU! GET OUT!"

    INTERNET TROLLS: "LOL U R PWNED!1!!"

     
  • At January 26, 2008 7:55 PM, Blogger Ami Angelwings said…

    *laughs*

    <3 KD

     
  • At January 27, 2008 2:25 AM, Blogger M. said…

    Please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me they're just baiting the fans, and that this is in no way for real.

    Please I beg you.

    GeekGirlsRule

     
  • At January 27, 2008 4:23 AM, Blogger LurkerWithout said…

    The concept isn't the scariest part. Its the number of Newsarama forum members who say they're looking forward to it...

     
  • At January 27, 2008 10:38 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Now THAT'S scary!

     
  • At January 27, 2008 11:17 AM, Blogger Mike Haseloff said…

    Spider-bitch. Gee, do you think this is going to be an over-the-top contemporary reflection on social devolution and "youth culture"?
    No, I'm sure you're right. It's probably something offensive instead, like that emasculating Yellow Bastard character!...

    ... Or like incestuous mutants who turn into Hulks.
    Hulk being a renowned model for an advanced [hu]man, ne'er noted for his brutish or horrific primal qualities.

    I wish Millar would stop with the offensive heady counter-culture and politically influential manhandling, and just do something popcorn. It's an outrage, I tell you!

    "It's not offensive as much as it is merely stupid. [...] not even trying anymore..."

     
  • At January 27, 2008 1:35 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Wow. You seriously get "heady counter-culture and politically influential manhandling" from incestuous Hulk grandchildren and Spider-Bitch

    You know, I don't even need a clever retort for that one. :-)

     
  • At January 28, 2008 5:38 AM, Blogger Mike Haseloff said…

    No, like a well dressed woodwork teacher, I was hiding in plain sight beneath a stealthy net of silly, sarcastic mixed messages.

    I think [Millar]'s doing utterly harmless popcorn that couldn't reasonably be offensive to anyone who isn't an incestuous Hulk.

    And even then, they might have an uncharacteristic sense of irony, and have a Hulk-sized laugh about it... Before french-kissing a thoroughly ordinary looking cousin, and eating a hitchhiker's leg.

    You just don't badmouth NASCAR in those regions. Especially in a post-apocalyptic future!...

     

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