Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Things I Do In Lieu Of Real Posts...

Okay, first of all, this David Hasselhoff paper doll makes me happy in all the right ways. I am unashamed by my Hoff love, damnit.

Anyway, a few days back I posted enthusiastically about a heroic matchmaking type comic.

Since horrible matchups are invariably more fun than sane ones, this has lead me to the heroic endeavor of imagining the worst, weirdest or most ridiculous possible pairings.

Of course since the top of my list would actually be Hawkman and Power Girl, I'm slightly bemused.

But anyway, here are some really really bizarre/bad/weird pairing ideas that come to mind.

As previously mentioned Huntress and Boomerang.

(It's algebraic: Helena + Owen + relationship = Dead Owen.)

Cassandra Cain and Bart Allen

(Pre Infinite Crisis, I'd bet. Mostly, I think it'd be neat to find out how well her body language reading would work on someone who generally moves too fast for the eye to register)

Amanda Waller and Guy Gardner

(If there's God, this has happened somewhere in the Multiverse. The subsequent offspring has since simultaneously taken over and pissed off the whole damn universe)

Rose/Thorn and Harvey Dent

(...because I'm evil?)

Maxine Hunkel and Tim Drake

(The union of incredibly cute, obsessed superhero fan/stalkers. Sadly, she would die. So no go.)

Wally West and Kyle Rayner

(The combination of constant bickering and mutual lack of attention span alone would be funny. And hell, Wally's died a few times already. He'll be back.)

Damage and Nightwing

(the aaaaangst)

Sanderson Hawkins and Poison Ivy

(...planting. That's all I'm saying. And possibly the best shot at canonical mpreg outside of the Green Lantern universe and that's mostly because Guy gets stupid things happening all the time.)

Donna Troy and Resurrection Man

...Okay I'll stop there.

Anyone got any other incredibly bad, silly, weird or stupid superhero match-ups to suggest?

(Oh, for the purpose of this post: actual sexual preferences can totally be disregarded at leisure. :-) Don't let little things like gender or species get in the way of stupid pairing potential!)

20 Comments:

  • At September 25, 2007 7:11 AM, Blogger Flidget said…

    Once Ivy's done with Sanderson she can go for Alan Scott.

    (If she hasn't already. Y'know, given they're both Gothamites you think she'd be all over him like a cat over catnip about twice per month.)

     
  • At September 25, 2007 7:32 AM, Blogger Centurion said…

    You're evil.
    I like evil.
    Evil is fun.

     
  • At September 25, 2007 8:57 AM, Anonymous papervolcano said…

    I'd quite like to pair up Kyle and Kory. They're both spacefaring hotties with a little more firepower than brainpower, and would be terribly cute together. I'm also interested in whether or not their curses could cancel each other out - everyone Kory marries dies soon after, and you know what Kyle's like.

    Of course, it could go horribly, horribly wrong, and end up destroying the universe. But in a cute way. And with great hair.

     
  • At September 25, 2007 9:47 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Wow...actually Kory and Kyle could WORK!

    Although I love Ice and Guy together, if it doesn't work out, she could pair up with Geoforce. She's probably the only person nice enough to be able to stand him.

    Howabout Zinda and Cowgirl? They have a LOT in common.

     
  • At September 25, 2007 9:47 AM, Blogger Mark Engblom said…

    Well, if DC can crank out something like "Countdown: Arena" (essentially a multiversian fight club), why not a match-maker title? It might even spark the return of the romance comics genre...only with superheroes.

     
  • At September 25, 2007 11:21 AM, Blogger ticknart said…

    "Sanderson Hawkins and Poison Ivy"

    To think, she's the one who'd be planting the seed in his fertile field.

     
  • At September 25, 2007 12:00 PM, Anonymous green with wheelpower said…

    Guy & Amanda Oh My @@#$% God!!! (wimper)

    K. Nakamura(HEROES)+Lionel Luther(Smallville)= redemptive mougels seeking comfort in eachothers "embrass" Hee ;)

    Human Torch+ Hydroman+ Steamy;)

    Vision+The Major(GITS)=new meaning to cyber sex:)

    For the love of god Nathan(HEROES needs to get some w/ anyone. The man looks toogood w/his shirt off!

    Cent: Evil is GOOD!:)

     
  • At September 25, 2007 12:19 PM, Blogger Batiduende said…

    Braniac 5 & Dumb Bunny. (Too easy?)

    Crazy Jane & Phantom Stranger (I don't see this one lasting, though)

     
  • At September 25, 2007 1:01 PM, Anonymous Aaron Nowack said…

    Cassandra Cain and Bart Allen

    (Pre Infinite Crisis, I'd bet. Mostly, I think it'd be neat to find out how well her body language reading would work on someone who generally moves too fast for the eye to register)


    ...I really do not have the time to be plotting this fanfic out in my head, dang it.

     
  • At September 25, 2007 3:52 PM, Anonymous Misparse said…

    For the record? Because MU* continuity sometimes winds up with circumstances that surprise the casual reader?

    ...Cass-and-Bart worked really well for about six months. Then it didn't. Mostly because Bart forgot he was dating.

    The body-language-reading worked phenomenally well when Bart was at normalspeed, 'cause hi, heart-on-sleeve; it didn't work when he was sped up, because duh. :D

    If Aaron's gonna write a fic, I'm so gonna read it. :D :D

     
  • At September 25, 2007 4:59 PM, Blogger Derek said…

    "Maxine Hunkel and Tim Drake"

    Tee hee hee!

    Sorry, but something about that pair-up reduces me to a giggling schoolgirl.

    I don't know if I should thank or curse you for that, Kalinara.

     
  • At September 25, 2007 8:17 PM, Blogger Greg Sanders said…

    Guy and Amanda is presently blowing my mind. I'm not sure if it could actually work, I haven't seen enough of how the Wall would handle a relationship to judge. But it would be awesome to see them give it a try.

     
  • At September 25, 2007 8:22 PM, Anonymous "Starman" Matt Morrison said…

    This one I suggest for pure evil. That and I enjoy making Babs/Dinah fan-fic writers cry.

    Dinah Lance/Dick Grayson. :)

     
  • At September 25, 2007 10:03 PM, Blogger Matthew said…

    Just for grins, I'd like to see what a relationship between Hal and Boodikka would be like.

    I'm thinking not very pleasant, but incredibly entertaining. :)

     
  • At September 26, 2007 12:19 AM, Blogger Rational Mad Man said…

    Come on Kalinara, how could you miss the most obvious?
    Guy Gardner and Wonder WOman (or power girl)
    I mean a real man and a feminsit?

    IT would be almost as disasterous as you and I having a relationship. Although a lot more unbelievable.

     
  • At September 26, 2007 12:43 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Heh, trust me RMM, you and I would be a LOT more unbelievable.

    After all Beau Smith reputedly supported the idea of Guy and Diana having a relationship. :-)

    And really, for a "real man", Guy makes a great woman.

     
  • At September 26, 2007 2:41 AM, Blogger Jaap said…

    Wait. Wally's DEAD? again??

     
  • At September 26, 2007 2:48 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    No, no. He's alive.

    I'm just saying if he DID date Kyle, he'd be dead and back again in no time. :-P

     
  • At September 26, 2007 8:49 AM, Anonymous "Starman" Matt Morrison said…

    I just thought of one.

    James Jesse (The Trickster) and Wonder Woman.

    The World's Greatest Con-Artist and the Goddess of Truth. I can see James trying to pull it off just to see how long he could keep it going.

     
  • At September 26, 2007 8:22 PM, Anonymous Chad said…

    Orion: Dog of War and The Bulleteer, which would never work.

    Donna Troy and Bruce Wayne, which should.

     

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