My Kingdom for a Shark-Repellant
I'm not a huge Batman fan. At least not on his own. I like him well enough in Justice League, or when he shows in other people's books like Robin, Superman or Green Lantern. But on his own, in his own book, I don't have a whole lot of interest in him. And I finally figured out what needs to happen for me to become interested in Batman.
He needs to have, somewhere in the Batcave, Bat-Shark-Repellant.
I'm not saying he needs to be characterized a la Adam West or anything. I'm fine with Ol' Grim and Gritty as he is. I like him better now than one year ago, but I don't think he needs to be particularly nicer.
But I want to know that deep down inside. Behind all the genius and brooding angst, the drive and the scariness, there is a man who took the time to invent Shark-Repellant. But not to figure out a decent name for it.
Seriously, the man's been on a team with Aquaman. Bat-Shark Repellant would have to be a useful tool at some point. It's probably part of those Tower of Babel plans. Make Kyle blind. Repel sharks. Makes perfect sense.
I wouldn't be surprised if he had it. But I need to see it. Just once. Then I can truly begin to appreciate Bruce as he's meant to be appreciated.
And it should be an aerosol spray.
He needs to have, somewhere in the Batcave, Bat-Shark-Repellant.
I'm not saying he needs to be characterized a la Adam West or anything. I'm fine with Ol' Grim and Gritty as he is. I like him better now than one year ago, but I don't think he needs to be particularly nicer.
But I want to know that deep down inside. Behind all the genius and brooding angst, the drive and the scariness, there is a man who took the time to invent Shark-Repellant. But not to figure out a decent name for it.
Seriously, the man's been on a team with Aquaman. Bat-Shark Repellant would have to be a useful tool at some point. It's probably part of those Tower of Babel plans. Make Kyle blind. Repel sharks. Makes perfect sense.
I wouldn't be surprised if he had it. But I need to see it. Just once. Then I can truly begin to appreciate Bruce as he's meant to be appreciated.
And it should be an aerosol spray.
posted by kalinara @ 7:32 AM
8 Comments:
At March 12, 2007 9:22 AM,
LurkerWithout said…
Thats why I used to like Tim Drake. He has the same total competence without being grim and mopey. Of course that was before DC killed off his dad, girlfriend and best friend...
At March 12, 2007 9:55 AM,
Tom Bondurant said…
Maybe there is shark repellant in the Sci-Fi Closet....
Although, there was that recent Detective where Bruce had to fight off sharks who were going after his murdered friend's body. Perhaps this will inspire him to invent a shark-repelling spray?
At March 12, 2007 10:18 AM,
SallyP said…
Batman is just an old crabbypants. On the other hand, I can only assume that he's invented a mcahine that converts bat guano into energy, which would probably be quite useful.
In addition to a spray can of Bat-shark repellant, I also think that he should have Bat-Werewolf repellant...just in case.
At March 12, 2007 2:34 PM,
Anonymous said…
Of course he has shark-repellent! He's the goddamn Batman! He's prepared for everything!
At March 12, 2007 4:41 PM,
Will Staples said…
I'm not a huge Batman fan. At least not on his own. I like him well enough in Justice League, or when he shows in other people's books like Robin, Superman or Green Lantern. But on his own, in his own book, I don't have a whole lot of interest in him.
Thank you. That is exactly how I feel about Batman.
Anyway... do check this out.
At March 12, 2007 5:12 PM,
Chris said…
I guarantee that he does in fact have Bat-Shark Repellent, it's just lost in the closet behind the Bat-Bird Flu Antidote, the Bat-Phillips Head Screwdriver, the Bat-Laminating Machine, and the Bat-Mimeograph.
Additionally, I have no doubt that there are in fact Bat-Sharks.
At March 12, 2007 5:46 PM,
Unknown said…
@tom bondurant: I was going to mention the Sci-Fi closet. If we combine that with the Batman/Planetary cross-over, then for all we know, DC's grim!Batman got it from campy!Batman during some extra-dimensional adventure. Hah. That was he has campy Bat-Shark Repellent and being the grim detective didn't have to invent it.
At March 12, 2007 5:51 PM,
Amy Reads said…
Hi Kali,
Thank you for a fantastic laugh today! Indeed! Brucey does need some Bat-Shark-Repellent.
May I also request Talia-repellent?
Ever a Bat/Cat 'shipper,
Amy
PS I like him better now than one year ago, but I don't think he needs to be particularly nicer.
The scene in which he asks Robin to be his son still breaks my heart. In a *good* way.
I am, as is painfully obvious, a rabid fangirl for All Things Bat.
It's a thing.
Post a Comment
<< Home