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Monday, March 12, 2007

My Kingdom for a Shark-Repellant

I'm not a huge Batman fan. At least not on his own. I like him well enough in Justice League, or when he shows in other people's books like Robin, Superman or Green Lantern. But on his own, in his own book, I don't have a whole lot of interest in him. And I finally figured out what needs to happen for me to become interested in Batman.

He needs to have, somewhere in the Batcave, Bat-Shark-Repellant.

I'm not saying he needs to be characterized a la Adam West or anything. I'm fine with Ol' Grim and Gritty as he is. I like him better now than one year ago, but I don't think he needs to be particularly nicer.

But I want to know that deep down inside. Behind all the genius and brooding angst, the drive and the scariness, there is a man who took the time to invent Shark-Repellant. But not to figure out a decent name for it.

Seriously, the man's been on a team with Aquaman. Bat-Shark Repellant would have to be a useful tool at some point. It's probably part of those Tower of Babel plans. Make Kyle blind. Repel sharks. Makes perfect sense.

I wouldn't be surprised if he had it. But I need to see it. Just once. Then I can truly begin to appreciate Bruce as he's meant to be appreciated.

And it should be an aerosol spray.

8 Comments:

  • At March 12, 2007 9:22 AM, Blogger LurkerWithout said…

    Thats why I used to like Tim Drake. He has the same total competence without being grim and mopey. Of course that was before DC killed off his dad, girlfriend and best friend...

     
  • At March 12, 2007 9:55 AM, Blogger Tom Bondurant said…

    Maybe there is shark repellant in the Sci-Fi Closet....

    Although, there was that recent Detective where Bruce had to fight off sharks who were going after his murdered friend's body. Perhaps this will inspire him to invent a shark-repelling spray?

     
  • At March 12, 2007 10:18 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Batman is just an old crabbypants. On the other hand, I can only assume that he's invented a mcahine that converts bat guano into energy, which would probably be quite useful.

    In addition to a spray can of Bat-shark repellant, I also think that he should have Bat-Werewolf repellant...just in case.

     
  • At March 12, 2007 2:34 PM, Anonymous David Lawson said…

    Of course he has shark-repellent! He's the goddamn Batman! He's prepared for everything!

     
  • At March 12, 2007 4:41 PM, Blogger Filby said…

    I'm not a huge Batman fan. At least not on his own. I like him well enough in Justice League, or when he shows in other people's books like Robin, Superman or Green Lantern. But on his own, in his own book, I don't have a whole lot of interest in him.

    Thank you. That is exactly how I feel about Batman.

    Anyway... do check this out.

     
  • At March 12, 2007 5:12 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    I guarantee that he does in fact have Bat-Shark Repellent, it's just lost in the closet behind the Bat-Bird Flu Antidote, the Bat-Phillips Head Screwdriver, the Bat-Laminating Machine, and the Bat-Mimeograph.

    Additionally, I have no doubt that there are in fact Bat-Sharks.

     
  • At March 12, 2007 5:46 PM, Blogger Andrew said…

    @tom bondurant: I was going to mention the Sci-Fi closet. If we combine that with the Batman/Planetary cross-over, then for all we know, DC's grim!Batman got it from campy!Batman during some extra-dimensional adventure. Hah. That was he has campy Bat-Shark Repellent and being the grim detective didn't have to invent it.

     
  • At March 12, 2007 5:51 PM, Blogger Amy Reads said…

    Hi Kali,
    Thank you for a fantastic laugh today! Indeed! Brucey does need some Bat-Shark-Repellent.
    May I also request Talia-repellent?
    Ever a Bat/Cat 'shipper,
    Amy

    PS I like him better now than one year ago, but I don't think he needs to be particularly nicer.

    The scene in which he asks Robin to be his son still breaks my heart. In a *good* way.
    I am, as is painfully obvious, a rabid fangirl for All Things Bat.
    It's a thing.

     

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