Misaligned...

Apparently, I may have the opportunity to FINALLY watch the David Hasselhoff Nick Fury movie. This pleases me more than you possibly know. I'm looking forward to putting it in my mental file of "so stupid, it's good." There's no way it couldn't be.

It does get me thinking though. I love David Hasselhoff, but naturally he's a completely horrible fit for Nick Fury, as anyone with a brain cell can tell. Oddly though, this makes the movie even more appealing to me.

Anyone can make a list of actors that really suit the characters from the comic books, but I think it takes real skill to pull a Keanu Reeves as John Constantine out of your ass. So naturally, this means I want to try to make the most appalling casting choices ever, to create MY ultimate Justice League ever!

Superman: Jack Black. Screw Green Lantern. Go straight to the top. I do actually like Mr. Black as an actor, he's got a very appealing charm. But I can't honestly think of anyone LESS suited for Superman. So there you go.

Batman: Hmm. Handsome, charming millionaire by day, creepy bat-fetisher by night. I'm half tempted to suggest George Clooney, but well, Joel Schumacher beat me to it. :-) I suppose I'd go with my second choice. Dwight Schultz from the A-Team. Failing that, I'd choose the guy who played Horshack on Welcome Back Kotter.

Wonder Woman: I was going to cheat and say Paris Hilton, but honestly she's not really an actor. I saw parts of House of Wax. I think perhaps I'd go with Heather Graham in her Austin Powers "Felicity Shagwell" role. Because it amuses me.

Flash (Wally West version): Patrick Stewart. I don't really need to explain this one, do I?

Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner version): Hmm. I'd go with Bruce Willis. Because I can.

Now I'd stick them on a moonbase with a few other horrible horrible casting jobs and watch the fun begin.

By "fun", I mean "fanboy screaming".

This is probably why it's a good thing I'm not working in Hollywood...