My First Comic Experience

For First Comic Week:

I honestly can't remember my first comic, though I have the vague recollection of being a Fantastc Four issue picked up at a flea market. The only scene I really recall from it was Johnny Storm, in college, getting heckled by some students and finally losing it, his head bursting into flame.

I wasn't really into comics at the time. At all. But I remember finding that scene interesting. Especially how he berated himself afterwards for his lack of control. I mean, here was a hero who not only had no secret identity, thus having no sanctuary from anyone with a grudge against their hero form. I remember also being intrigued by the unique pressure having weird powers would cause. The responsibility that even hot-tempered and impulsive characters have to restrain themselves around other, weaker people.

That scene did more to highlight the issue of power and responsibility for me than any stupid web-slinger's catch phrase.

I think it's also why in general, I tend to like a lot of the uptight, restrained characters. Scott Summers is my favorite X-Man, for reasons that seem to be shared by no one else. :-) But I admire him because while he's as flawed as any of the others, he has to keep himself to a higher standard. It's easy, I think, to be the cool rebel like Wolverine. To bitch about the boss and lash out at authority. All the guy fans admire your freedom and take-no-shit attitude and the girls (well, the straight girls) fantasize about being the one to awaken your romantic side.

But see, Wolverine can do that because the others don't depend on him to be anything else. He's pointed in a direction and let loose.

When you're the responsible one, you can't do that. Because people depend on you and if you fail them, bad things happen. And look at powers for a second, Wolverine can be so unrestrained because his powers are effectively passive. His healing power isn't going to hurt anyone else, and his claws, while deadly, still have to get controlled by his damn arm.

But characters like Scott, like Ororo, like Jean. Characters with powers that react to their emotional state or *can't* be controlled by any means but iron restraint and ruby quartz glasses. Well, they can't afford to be like Wolverine. If they were, well, we've seen Dark Phoenix (before the clone retcon) and Ororo lose their minds. We've seen Cyclops, without glasses or visor, keeping his eyes clenched very tight so not even a glimmer gets out to hurt someone. And if you've ever tried to keep your eyes clenched shut like that, you know. It *hurts*. A lot.

I love comics that explore what it really means to be powerful and have to hold back. Like in Supergirl 5, the saving grace of that series was Clark telling Kara (s) that because he developed his powers in a place where he could seriously have hurt people, he *always* held back. And had for all his life. And then he does the smackdown. And it's awesome.

The Lanterns are good for this too. Even the ones you wouldn't expect. One of the first Guy Gardner related stories I read was a JLA crossover (Which I was reading for the Blue Beetle), where one moment, Guy Gardner was being his usual jerk self and trying to take over, and the next...he'd killed a bad guy. And then caused a great deal of havoc. The entire Justice League barely kept him contained. With some help from a ragged looking Guy Gardner. Who reveals that basically this guy is him without the restraint. Which causes skepticism in the others...but he's right. The evil Guy Gardner *is* him without restraint, without some subtle bit of humanity that the original maintained. It's really does make one take a closer look at the character.

Circle of Fire had a similar element, with Oblivion wreaking havoc from Kyle Rayner's subconscious. He took out the *Justice League* man. With his repressed emotions. It's a failed attempt at control but interesting nonetheless. Kyle's temper is pretty formidable, but he's never lost control of his abilities. He even takes off his ring now when he sleeps, because unlike every other Lantern, his powers work while subconscious.

Even the initial Superboy/Superboy fight in IC tied into this for me. Like almost everyone else I was getting really impatient with Conner to get up and *do* something already. I was starting to really dislike his inactivity after Luthor had taken control. I sympathized but wanted to scream "Get over it!". But when seeing the sheer lack of restraint of Superboy Prime. His inability to control himself, to slow down, to consider truly the people around him... Well, it made me a lot more sympathetic to Conner. He might have been sitting on his ass...but he was doing it in a dumb attempt to not be that guy. In contrast, I didn't pity Superboy Prime at all. The first death might have been an accident, but the moment he saw that and *didn't* *stop*, I lost any sympathy I had for him.

(And for the record, I think there was way too many parallels between Conner's death and Clark's, up to and including slightly crazy genius type trying to clone them. I think in much the same way that Clark came back with a mullet to find a little clone of him flying around and wreaking havoc, Connor's gonna find a clone of *him*-sorta- wreaking havoc itself. Maybe without the mullet though.)

This amazes me really, because I'd never thought of it before. But it really does all tie into that *one* single scene I read way, way back when. Even though I wouldn't start reading comics with any real interest until January of 2005...many, many years later.

That's so bizarre.