Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Ah, Yeah, I don't think so

So...Heroes for Hire #13...

Well, it certainly looks like Marvel's finally taking the advice of courting the manga-reading community?

Though honestly, if you were going to court the tentacle porn crowd, wouldn't it have been wiser to do so with a MAX labeled book? What exactly is that imprint for, aside from letting Pete Wisdom use his full vocabulary?

Seriously, I don't have anything against tentacle porn mind you, it's certainly not to my taste, but different strokes for different folks and all that. But dude, even in Japan, that's kind of an "adults-only" deal...

What possessed someone to put that on a 9+ book???

Not to mention, you know, the tentacle porn crowd isn't any stupider than any other geek subset, they're going to realize that the internal content of the book doesn't match what's promised on the cover. Which means that I really doubt the initial sales leap this cover will undoubtedly give will last.

At least I HOPE the internal content doesn't match the cover. I really want to give the comic company credit for THAT much intelligence at least.

To try to give the creative team a little benefit of the doubt, I honestly think the story might end up being one of those tongue-in-cheek turn-around sorts of satire/homages. Wherein possibly the girls, when faced with some sort of tentacle rape cliche, turn around and kick the tentacled things where it counts. The cover might be intended as some sort of misdirection or similar sort of "homage".

But you know, I have no intention of ever finding out if I'm right. Because, while I have a strong stomach for suggestive imagery and a certain shamelessness in being seen with/around it (I used to read manga and well, what you find in a used manga shop in Sannomiya's a bit different than what you see in the aisles of Borders) this actually draws the line for me. I would buy a hundred of those almost naked Star Sapphires with Hal Jordan under her boot issues before I get caught dead even glancing at this cover in a public setting.

By the way, as Ragnell and others have pointed out, Felicia probably wasn't the wisest choice for this kind of comic cover. No matter the intent. BAD DECISION.

If you like the cover, good for you. But all I know is that you could tell me the inside story is the awesomest story ever, written by my favoritest author ever, and I will never touch this comic.

Which is a shame because I heard really good things about Misty Knight and Colleen Wing. Enough to possibly check it out. Now...not so much. See, I hate missing issues in the middle of a storyline, so if I buy this month's and actually like it, I'm gonna be real irritated to have a gap come August.

I think I'll leave it alone.

You know, in one of the first posts about this Ragnell found for WFA, I saw a person comment something about the poster possibly overreacting, judging the book too much by its cover. (I'm too lazy to hunt for the link, though I'm sure you could find it if you really want to.)

I disagree honestly. Sure, images appear on the cover of a comic that have little or nothing to do with what actually happens in the pages. But covers are supposed to attract someone's attention and make them want to read the comic.

The only thing this cover makes me want is a shower.


  • At May 24, 2007 3:47 AM, Blogger Mickle said…

    Not that I don't generally agree with the whole "don't judge a book by it's cover idea" but, in this case,

    1) Your point about that not meaning we still can't critique them as marketing decisions


    2) Shouldn't that idea be a little less true when we are talking about comics? I mean, I get that the cover artist is often not the same as the artist who draws the comic, and I get that it's still a sampling, but unlike the cover for Jane Austen novels, comic covers are mean to be representative of what you are buying, not just third party interpretations of what's inside.

    Plus, this is another pet peeve of mind about how resistive the comic fanbase tends to be to reaching a wider audience in the general sense (not just women in particular). People who aren't familiar with comics don't know that the cover artist is not always the same as the main artist. Having come from the world of kid's picture books - where this is pretty much never true - it took reading several issues in the same series to realize this. So I think newbies and potential newbies tend to look at such covers and interpret them a lot more literally than most fans realize.

  • At May 24, 2007 4:57 AM, Blogger Nenena said…

    Ack, this post echoed my own thoughts so much that it's scary. I was also just on the verge of checking out some Heroes for Hire. I've been hearing good things about the series, I like martial arts, and I like strong women, and I thought that HfH sounded like a fun read.

    Now? I have no intention of touching the series. Maybe I'll come back to it someday. But right now, I have other comics to spend my money own, with covers that don't suck.

  • At May 24, 2007 9:48 AM, Blogger Seth T. Hahne said…

    Well, if you wait for trade, you can still enjoy the content without have to endure the cover (since tent-porn probably won't make the cover of the collected issues).

  • At May 24, 2007 9:49 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Yes, that is one heck of a cover. Or to put it more succinctly...ick.

    Whoever would have thought that the Star Saphhire cover we were mocking only a short time ago, would start to look so...tasteful? At least in comparison with the dreck that Marvel has been specializing in lately.

    I haven't been reading this book, and I can sure say, that I don't want to pick it up either.

  • At May 24, 2007 11:53 AM, Blogger Michael May said…

    "See, I hate missing issues in the middle of a storyline, so if I buy this month's and actually like it, I'm gonna be real irritated to have a gap come August."

    That's exactly where I'm at. As a Shang Chi fan, I've been enjoying Heroes for Hire since its first issue, but I'm having a hard time imagining myself taking this off the shelf and putting it on the check-out counter, much less taking it home to read.

  • At May 24, 2007 12:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ironically you wouldn't be missing anything, it's the HfH WWH crossover issue. Supposedly their captured by Miek, Hulks bug friend from Sakarr

    Even more ironically from the previous solicitation Humbug is supposed to be the major player in this arc (Hulks Bug friends vs. Guy who controls bugs) yet he doesn't appeare on the cover.

    In the same month as this cover Nova seems to be starting the Nova corps again with a female Kree (apparently) as the first new member.

    Then again There was also the Mary Jane statue.

    But hey Mystic Arcana is coming around and the majority of it's characters seem to be women.

    Then again Marvel is publishing essential Dazzler before Sub-Mariner and theres no way any woman can tell me they'd rather watch a roller skating disco queen then The brozed flesh of the speedo wearing Prince of Atlantis.

    God damn Dazzler.

    Wait what was my point? Oh yeah, there's some good things coming out still. Although it's sad that they actually have about the same level of numbers as the bad things.

  • At May 24, 2007 12:59 PM, Blogger Mickle said…

    "Well, if you wait for trade, you can still enjoy the content without have to endure the cover (since tent-porn probably won't make the cover of the collected issues)."

    In my experience the covers and their variants are all included in the trade, so one may not have to look at that cover as often, but one would still own it, which is icking me out enough all by itself.

  • At May 24, 2007 2:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    Never really seen much camping fetish porn... gah, you know you've been online too many years when that's the first thought that springs to mind...

  • At May 24, 2007 3:38 PM, Blogger Ferrous Buller said…

    Originally I was going to say something nuanced and insightful (or at least bombastic, verbose, and self-indulgent); but I'm feeling pretty lazy today, so why don't I just boil it down?


    And I say that as someone who got more than his fair share of politically incorrect chuckles outta Empowered. So I'm hardly a prude or outraged feminist.

    But tentacles...*shudder* I have my limits.

  • At May 24, 2007 11:36 PM, Blogger R.Nav said…

    The cover teaches me three things:

    1) Marvel wants to make Porn Dollars without actually selling porn.

    2) The artist has absolutely no idea what an Afro puff looks like. Seriously, Hair doesn't work that way.

    3) Marvel wants to narrow it's fanbase as far as possible.

  • At May 25, 2007 12:14 AM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Me and my buddy actually laughed so hard when I saw this that I think we scared other customers. But then I realized that I forgot to put countdown on my order, and theree were no shelf copies, and became sad

  • At May 25, 2007 1:59 AM, Blogger notintheface said…

    Here's an epiphany I had about this cover:


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