Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Saturday, May 05, 2007

Adventures with a Green Barbie:

You know what the best part of having a green barbie doll is? Dressing her up, of course! Even mundane Barbie clothes look great and new on a green doll! And fancy costumes are even better!

Naturally this means I'm on the hunt for new things. I already have a nice jedi costume (which I appropriated from an Attack of the Clones era Obi-Wan Kenobi doll) and now my goal is to obtain some nice Star Trek stuff. Because, heck, there's nothing cooler than a green doll with a phaser. Orion slave girl THIS.

Anyway, ebay being my friend, I found the set described here. And as elated as I am to find a set with uniforms with a phaser (I have a bizarre fondness for arming my Barbie doll to the teeth), I can't help but be annoyed at a few things.

First of all, what the hell is going on with their uniforms?! He's got commander stripes, where she gets lieutenant? What the hell? Everyone knows Barbie is the star of the show. Ken is just her non-threateningly attractive, eunuched hanger-on! There is no conceivable reason on God's Green Earth, that he should EVER outrank her.

And I get that he's dressed like Kirk, where she's dressed like Uhura. But dude, if one of them has the right combination of bizarre charisma, obscene vanity, and doubtless Shatnerian ego, it's definitely not eunuch boy. (And yes, I am attributing human qualities to dolls. This is BARBIE we're talking about.) She should be in the gold jumpsuit, and HE can wear the red mini-dress. Remember the extra in Encounter at Farpoint? It could work.

Beyond that, why does Barbie hold the tricorder while Ken holds the phaser? Nothing against tricorders, of course, but dude, if only one of them is going to be armed...

Well, I know one thing, this is one set that I'm going to feel no shame in gutting. My doll will make far better use of that command uniform and phaser than that Ken will. Mwahahaha!


  • At May 05, 2007 4:40 AM, Blogger Ragnell said…

    That extra in Encounter at Farpoint was wonderful. Does anyone have a screencap of him?

  • At May 05, 2007 4:45 AM, Blogger Ragnell said…

  • At May 05, 2007 4:45 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Well done!

  • At May 05, 2007 10:32 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    My God! I've watched that a dozen times, and it's never even registered! That's a hoot!

    As for Barbie being the Commander, well, "Math is hard" and all of that. I guess we are just lucky they didn't put her in hot pink.

  • At May 05, 2007 1:48 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Honestly though, you can't tell me Kirk was any smarter. He's the living embodiment of "Math is hard."

    Now, dressing her like SPOCK would be ridiculous. :-)

  • At May 06, 2007 2:03 AM, Blogger enamine said…

    As a recently converted Trekkie...I got a good laugh out of this:

    He's the living embodiment of "Math is hard."

    Yes. Yes he is. This is the man who decided to experiment on himself with that weird brain washing equipment in Dagger of the Mind.

  • At May 06, 2007 12:39 PM, Blogger SallyP said…

    It's true...Kirk is a pea-brain. But dashing, which is why I think Hal Jordan resembles him so much in character, anyway.

  • At May 06, 2007 6:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    There was another crewmember in the 'skant' uniform in the Season One episode "Where No One Has Gone Before"

    Picture available here.


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