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Thursday, December 15, 2005

Random Ridiculous Realization #1

While talking on AIM with Diamondrock, I came to a random realization. See, we somehow had gotten to talking about Dick Grayson's love for redheads. And random DCU gendershifting in general. And that's when I had the realization.

If Ted Kord were a woman, he'd be Dick Grayson's perfect girlfriend.

Think about it:

Red hair.
Really bad fashion sense.
Intelligent and tech-y.
Probably wouldn't mind Dick getting clingy/suffocating.
Could go rooftop-vigilanty-ing with him.

And imagine the potential:

We have a usual sort of scene with Batman and Nightwing on a rooftop. Batman's all disapproving about something. "You're getting sloppy." Or something like that.

Nightwing's all: "You don't like me! WOE."

And behind Batman, you'd have female!Ted (Tess?) Kord making cowl ears with her fingers and making faces.

Tess Kord: 1 Nightwing's angst: 0

She'd probably ruin the batverse though. She'd pat Tim on the head, take Cass shopping (for hideous clothing), be all tech-y best friends with Babs, and so on. You'd have Batman being broody in the batcave, then out of the corner of his eye suddenly notice little Dalek-shaped robots shining the Batmobile tires. Or something. (Alfred probably wouldn't mind. He's cool like that, and it'd give him more time for whatever-it-is he does when he's not...being Alfred)

I bet she'd make Dick some sort of giant, oddly colored EMP device for Christmas too. Because she could. And Dick would keep it on his apartment balcony or something, having absolutely no idea what it is.
I'm not sure how exactly she gets there, maybe from a parallel universe or something. (Hey, if they do bring back the stupid multiverse, I want the world in which everyone's the opposite gender. That would entertain me.)


  • At December 16, 2005 3:13 AM, Blogger Ragnell said…

    I want the world where everyone's the opposite gender too.

    I'd just love to see Green Lantern #0 with Hayley Jordan vs. Kylie Rayner.

    And Gwen Gardner's first date with Tor Olavson... That would be worth reading.

  • At December 16, 2005 5:29 AM, Blogger Diamondrock said…

    We also talked about the incredible cuteness that would be very tiny, very butt-kicking Tina Drake.

  • At December 16, 2005 6:58 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Yep! Yep! (Though in my head, I named them Holly, Kyla and Gail. But really it's much the same thing.)

    The only character that's a bit problematic is Connor Hawke, because a virginal girl slightly afraid of attractive men isn't nearly as funny as the opposite.

    But revamping it a little. Corinne Hawke is the sort of very butch girl that somehow manages to attract all of the bi-curious college girls. And sadly, is straight (and celibate) and too shy to really know what to do when the waitress slips her her number. That'd be funny in an almost similar enough way.

    Actually though it was thinking about this that got me to actually notice how often Kyle ended up in vaguely sexually-suggestively violent situations. If Kyle were actually a female, I would imagine there'd have been quite a feminist outcry. (I admit, double standards intrigue me) If Ron Marz had a reputation as a misogynist *now*...

    And yes. Tiny Tina Drake would be incredibly cute. And creepy. But cute.

  • At August 03, 2007 2:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "And behind Batman, you'd have female!Ted (Tess?) Kord making cowl ears with her fingers and making faces."

    So true! So in answer to
    ...That's a female superhero I'd like to see.

  • At August 03, 2007 2:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I mean A Thought and a Query, that is.


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