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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Meme! Mostly Red-Haired Edition!

1. Guy Gardner - DC
2. Jean Grey - Marvel
3. Ronald Sandoval - Earth Final Conflict
4. Barbara Gordon - DC
5. Fox Xanatos - Gargoyles
6. Dum Dum Dugan - Marvel
7. Horatio Caine - CSI Miami
8. Scott Summers - Marvel
9. Jem - Jem and the Holograms
10. Teela - He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

It's a heavily redhead, eighties, and bad sci-fi edition?

Anonymous asks:

1,5, and 10 have to run a day care center. Who gets what job, does the center burn down, and what do the kids think of this?

Hmm. Guy, Fox and Teela. Well, Guy's actually decent with kids, and Fox seems to be a fairly devoted mother. So I think they'll be the ones actually taking care of the kids. Teela never really seemed that into kids, even for a kid's SHOW, so she'll provide security. They've very secure kids.

2,4, and 9 are on American Idol. How does this play out?

Jean Grey, Barbara Gordon and Jem. Well, THAT's pretty obvious! Jem's truly outrageous! Also I've always thought Jean was possibly tone deaf. I have no reason for that, but it'd be funny to me since she's so good at everything else.

3,6,7, and 8 are going to Hogwarts! Who sorts what House?

Hmm. Sandoval, Dugan, Caine and Scott. Sandoval and Dugan are easy enough. Slytherin and Gryffindor respectively. The other two are a bit harder. Scott's a hero, but he's also prone to scheming. Since he's currently in a lawful neutral phase, I might go with Slytherin. Caine would be Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. But an awesome Hufflepuff.

Anonymous asks:

1 and 10 want to pick a movie to give the MST3K treatment. Can they agree on one?

Guy and Teela. Dude. Masters of the Universe. Between Dolph Lundgren and...Dolph Lundgren. They'll have fun.

2 and 8 are entering a three-legged-race, with 3 and 7 entering as well. Who wins?

Jean and Scott versus Sandoval and Horatio. Hah. Well. No one stops Jean and Scott. Also, I really can't see Sandoval and Caine getting along. The ego clashing alone would be beautiful and yet incredibly counter productive.

Also, Sandoval might shoot him.

4 and 6 are ordering pizza. Can they agree on toppings? Would they be likely to eat pizza together anyway?

Dugan and Babs? I think they can agree. Dugan would probably give her first choice, he's old fashioned that way. They're from different universes, but they'd probably get along. They can complain about Fury and Batman, see which is crazier.

Everyone else is chasing after 5. What did they do?

Well, she IS an ex-villain with a scary mastermind husband and vaguely fae powers. My guess is she'll kick their ass. If she can't, she'll get Xanatos to scheme something. Or her son to zap them. Either way.

Ununnilium asks

The Black Lanterns are attacking! But, due to crossover commitments, the rings of the emotional spectrum can't be used! 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, and 10 are chosen to wield the power of the Secondary Spectrum:

Teal (Enthusiasm)
Beige (Monotony)
Brown (Conservatism)
Dusky Rose (Covert Hostility)
Seafoam (Pity)
Actually Purple, Because The "Violet" In Blackest Night Is Seriously Pink (Curiosity)
Octarine (Confusion)

Which ring goes with which character? What are 3, 6, and 8 doing during the superzombie apocalypse? And whose dead parents, dead partner, and dead love interest are resurrected as Black Lanterns?


Hmm: we have Guy, Jean, Barbara, Fox, Horatio, Jem, and Teela. Well, Guy, Jean and Teela all have pretty bad tempers, but I'm not sure I'd call any of them "covert".

I think I'd go with:
Teal: Guy because he's very gung ho.
Beige: Horatio Caine. Between the voice and the vaguely predictable plots. It works.
Brown: Teela. As captain of the guards, she tended to be pretty set in her ways.
Rose: Fox. She's sneaky about her villainy and even managed to get parole early by pretending to be redeemed.
Seafoam: Jean because she's the most likely of this group to sympathize with you. Also, she dies a lot. :-P
Purple: Barbara gets to be curiosity, because she's the Oracle and she likes knowing stuff.
Octarine: Jem. Because honestly, between the identity issues and the fact that I was never really sure why it was necessary to be Jem to begin with. Or why a wig didn't just suffice.

Dugan is being a badass normal sidekick to the group. Scott and Sandoval are scheming. Probably against one another. Also, Scott gets to be a damsel in distress at least once.

Hmm, I'm not sure how many of these guys actually HAVE dead partners. I think I'll go Jean for dead parents, because then they can eat the Shi'ar and I HATE the Shi'ar. Not sure who on this list really has a dead partner...maybe Fox, since it's possible some of the pack might be dead and carrying a grudge. Sandoval gets the resurrected love interest, mostly because I miss Beckett and it would totally traumatize their son and thus be fitting with the rest of the show. (He'll die and come back too. Just for lulz.)

D asks:

The Lantern Corps is doing a memberdrive. Who joins which?

Well, Guy's already Green. As for the others, I think I'd go: Jean (Blue. Pun unintended.) Sandoval (Hmm. Red or Yellow. Vengeance is his driving motive after all, though he might be too scheme-y for mindless rage), Barbara (Green), Fox (Violet. Between the relationship with Xanatos and the whole Mother's love thing...), Dugan (Green), Horatio (Yellow. He's scary!), Scott (Green), Jem ("Violet". Matches her hair. :-)) and Teela (Green).

Who would be better in a bio pic:
1 playing number 2 or 2 playing number 1?


While I think Jean's probably the better actor, it would be more awesome to see Guy playing her than the reverse.

Number 3 has just dicovered an adult parody has been produced of him/her. The response?

Sandoval will be pissed at first (Especially since his likely partners are either his son or aliens), possibly plot their elimination, then figure out a way to use them in his schemes.

Old but good: Sally Floyd is in an elevator with #4. "Real Americas use YouTube". The reaction?

It's Barbara. There will be many an embarrassing Floyd-starred video there by morning.

Does 5 like coffee? if so, how does he/she take it?

Yes. Very strong. Between Gargoyles at night and business stuff during the day, Xanatoses never sleep;.

6 is tossed back to an era of loincloths, barbarians, and sorcery. 6's response?

He'll be embarassed at first, but soon embrace his inner bare-chested warrior. Nick will accuse him of mocking his (lack of) war wardrobe.

Someone pitches the idea of doing 7's life as a pulp novel. The response?

Horatio's life would be the best pulp novel ever. But the response would be a one liner and then the Who screaming YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH.

8 has found a vampire sitting at the foot of his/her bed. "I watched you sleep all night." How does 8 handle this?

Didn't this kind of happen in Whedon's run? Oh wait, that was Wolverine being kind of gay. Anyway, Eyebeams.

9 has gone off the beaten track and ended up a small town filled with flesh eating ghouls. What does 9 do?

Sing at them. Die. If she's clever she might use the hologram technology in an actually useful way and lure them off. But it's Jem, so probably die.

10 is picked to direct a film version of "The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers." of numbers 1 through 9, who gets picked to play the leads, and how does 10 being in charge?

Teela would be good at being in charge! And she's used to eighties cartoons. Okay.

Sandoval gets to be an evil version of Zach. I almost went for Scott, but Scott's wife dies rather than getting mindsucked. There's more comparison to how DeeDee got institutionalized. Though this Zach did it himself.

Jean is Niko. Badass psychic chicks are easy.

Barbara is Doc the tech genius. She'd enjoy having sprites.

Probably Guy. He's rebellious, blows shit up, and Vuldarian powers are kind of similar to bio-defenses.

Dugan is Walsh. Badass mustache for badass mustache.

Sally P. asks:

Snapper Carr has showed up, and is showing his vacation slides. what kinds of excuses do 3 and 5 use to get out of watching?

Fox uses the "the baby's crying" excuse. Sandoval's a dick, so he just says that it's boring and he doesn't want to do it. (Also, he might try to scheme Liam into doing it instead.)

During a break from the slides, number 8 goes into the kitchen and makes popcorn,which promptly gets dropped on the floor. 10 scoops it back in the bowl and brings it in anyway. How does 1 and 4 react when there are odd "clumps" mixed in with the popcorn?

We're assuming Guy would notice? He's got a sturdy Vuldarian stomach. He can swallow it. Barbara will notice and complain.

The slide projector eventually catches on fire. What does 2 and 6 do to put it out?

Well, Jean can telekinetically douse flames, but Dugan's probably got an extinguisher at hand. It's something you pick up when you hang out with Nick Fury.

7 and 9 nap through the whole thing. What is their reaction afterwards?

Caine investigates, and Jem sings about it.

D asks:

9 overhears 4's fanclub that they are going to set him/her up with a Viking sex robot. 9's response?

Are they setting 4 up or 9? If the first. Well, Barbara IS a technophile. So she might enjoy it. If it's the latter, Jem will angst about cheating on Rio. Who will then flirt with the sex robot.

2 has stolen 40 cakes. What does 1 do?

Guy would be bemused. But maybe blackmail. She IS hot.

3 encounters a zombie version of 5 How does 3 handle it?

Sandoval has a skrill weapon. Zombie-Fox will have a new hole. But then Sandoval will get his ass kicked and need his kid to come save his ass again. Whereupon, he'll still be a dick.

8 thinks 7's ward is a junkie. What does 8 do?

Scott? Probably exploit it. He's a dick that way.

Anonymous asks:

2,4 and 8 have to plan a surprise party for 9. How does it go, does 9 like it? And what does everyone else do during the party?

Well, Jean, Barbara and Scott are fairly clever/competent, so it probably goes well. I'd imagine an 80s karaoke party with lots of techno. Jem likes it and the others all get to sing. Except Sandoval, who blames the evils of karaoke on his alien overlords. Guy is surprisingly good.

notintheface asks:

Klarion -bum bum BUM!- the Witchboy casts a spell which transfers each character's signature power/skill/weapon to another character. Which character gets whose trait and how does each of them handle it?

Hmm. Some of my folk are non-powered sadly. We'll give Guy telepathy, because it'd be mean and funny.
Jean will get Sandoval's skrill, because she's used to merging with alien beings. She'll enjoy it after a bit.
Sandoval gets Scott's eye beams because it'll make his life suck more.
Barbara gets the holograms, and she enjoys it. Heck, Synergy IS a computer.
Fox gets Teela's blaster and speeder, because flying cars are useful and she can always claim it's Xanatos's design.
Dugan gets Barbara's tech expertise, which will be useful to Nick and make Dugan happy.
Horatio gets Dugan's mustache of awesomeness.
Scott gets Fox's faerie powers, because they come from surprise relatives, so it suits him.
Jem gets Horatio's ego. It'll do her good.
Teela gets the Green Lantern ring. She'll find it very useful but the Guardians are even more annoying than the Sorceress.

1,3,5,8, and 10 are in charge of running a theme park. What is it called and who handles what rides? Which of the remaining five (as customers) enjoy the experience, and which don't?

Let's see. Guy, Sandoval, Fox, Scott, and Teela. Well, Guy's kind of adrenaline junkie-esque, so he gets to do the rollar coaster. (It's manly.)
Sandoval gets to do the carousel because the universe hates him.
Fox is a cheating game operator.
Scott runs the fun house, because it's less likely to involve losing glasses.
Teela runs the archery range.

Jean, Barbara, Dugan, Jem and Horatio will probably enjoy it.

K. D. Bryan asks:

6 and 8 have both fallen madly in love with 3. They decide to compete for 3's affections by singing their favorite love song to 3 at a karaoke bar. What songs do 6 and 8 sing to 3? How does 3 react?

Hmm. Dugan and Scott singing to Sandoval. Scott sings "Endless Love" and Dugan sings Bette Midler's the Rose. It's very sweet. And terrifying. Sandoval is unimpressed.

1, 2, 5 and 9 are playing tournament poker. Who goes out first? Who bluffs the most often and most successfully? And who wins the game in the end?

Guy, Jean, Fox, and Jem. Well, despite her double life, Jem's not very GOOD at it. She's almost caught all the time, and can't make do with a damn wig when the holograms don't work. So she's out first. I love Guy and think he's a fairly good bluffer, but he probably won't match Jean and Fox. I think Fox bluffs most often/successfully, but Jean probably wins, mostly because, psychic aside, when you're married to Scott Summers you learn to find tells or you go crazy.

4 and 7 must pose as a married couple on their honeymoon to gain precious intel about a double agent living in a fancy hotel. How successful are they at selling their cover story? Which of them abuses room service? Which of them tries to be all business and complete things as quickly as possible?

Babs and Horatio? I think he'd annoy the hell out of her, but they'd sell it. Barbara abuses room service (mostly to drink to annoy him) but also is all business. He keeps taking time away with posing.

1 and 10 are given a choice by The Gamemaster and Mr. Mxyzptlk to either engage in mixed martial arts combat or The Dozens for the fate of their respective worlds/universes/cities. Who chooses the boxing match? Who chooses The Dozens? And which of them would win in either contest?

Hmm. Guy and Teela. Both would probably prefer boxing as Guy likes punching shit and Teela's a guard captain. I think she'd win as long as he's ringless. Her training's better, and he's got the "one punch" thing. :-P He'd definitely win the Dozens though.

Top Chef Masters-style Challenge! 4 & 5 versus 1 & 8 versus 9 & 10! Each team must create and cook a single delicious dish that will please both gourmet restaurant critics and a big class of unruly 2nd graders . . . making sure to both cook enough to feed everyone and finish doing all of this in under 1 HOUR. Which team cracks under the pressure? Which team finishes cooking first? Which team cooks the most delicious dish? And which team wins the challenge (and who comes in 2nd and 3rd)?

Barbara and Fox versus Guy and Scott versus Jem and Teela.

I can't see any of the team cracking to be fair. Barbara and Fox are probably the most efficient as a team (the others will clash more) and finish first. I'm not sure that either are really the homemaking type. Certainly Teela isn't. Jem would resort to a hologram.

By default, I think Guy and Scott would have the best dish and win the challenge (especially since Guy's the best with kids. Jem has the orphanage, but she's also incompetent.) Then Barbara and Fox. Finally, since Jem's incompetent and Teela's from another planet, they're probably last.

2 wakes up to find out that every other person on the list has been brainwashed into believing that they are soldiers and that 2 is their Commanding Officer. How does 2 respond to and handle this strange situation?

Jean will try unbrainwashing first of course. If that doesn't work, she can adapt. She's clever, and while she isn't the best military leader she does have experience with team leading and can probably trick her military genius husband into giving advice. So...new batch of X-Men!

7 and 10 must switch lives/roles/duties with one another for a month ala Wife Swap. How do 7's friends/allies react to 10's new attitude and ways of doing things and vice versa? Whose friends & associates will miss the new person more when their month is up and they go home - 7 or 10's? What lessons will 7 and 10 eventually learn from having to walk in one another's shoes for a month?

Hmm, I think Horatio's group will be confused by his new tendancy to yell and be less full of hot air. While the Eternians will be confused as to why Teela's suddenly able to see that He-Man is Adam with a tan. The Crime Lab will probably miss Teela more.

Teela learns to actually observe shit, while Horatio gets the humbling experience of not being the center of the universe anymore.

D asks:

2 joins a club that forces him/her to grow a beard, while at teh same time planning to poison the city's water supply to give everyone rocking facial hair. Does 2 suceed in growing a beard and/or stoping the plot?

Well, Jean's not the type to grow one naturally, though I'm sure she could manage. More likely she'll get Hank McCoy to make her a potion.

7 waks to find him/herself in CRY FOR JUSTICE. What do they do?

Well, it's Horatio. So he'd probably have a deep meaningful talk with many characters (with lots of pausing and sunglass removing), solve any lingering murders (with explosions!) and join in the revenge spree while somehow not losing his cop license.

5 is scouted by the Legion of Super-Heroes, the Losers, and combat happy joes of Easy Co. Which team do they join?

Well, Fox's a bit old for the Legion, but I'm thinking that she'll appreciate the future glimpses and the chance to swipe some neat technology.

8 is scouted by HAMMER, the New Warriors, and the Howling Commandos. Which team do they join?

Well. Hammer's out for Scott, obviously. I think I'll go with the Howling Commandos. He'd be good in the military, has the potential for badassery, and will be a different kind of crazy than the rest of the group.

Devin McCullen asks:

All 10 are forming a baseball team. Who plays which position, and who is the manager? (It's the National League, no DH.)

I know NOTHING about Baseball. But, I guess Scott's the pitcher for his aim. Guy's the catcher, mostly for dirty joke potential. Barbara's the short stop (I imagine her playing awesomely like Joe Swanson in family guy), Jem, Teela, and Horatio are basemen. And Dugan and Jean are in the out field. If I forgot a position, sorry.

Sandoval's the manager, because he's sinister.

4 wants to get set up on a blind date. Who do 2, 7 and 9 know that they think would be a good match?

Hmm. Barbara... Jean, Horatio and Jem. Well, Horatio's got Delko and Ryan on his team, I'd probably go with Delko, because he takes his shirt off more. Jem...does she even know any men who aren't Rio or Eric Raymond? On the other hand, there's always girls. But I'm not sure I'd inflict any of them on Barbara. Ooh, Synergy. Barbara would enjoy tinkering and Synergy would enjoy the tune-up.

Jean could totally hook her up with Hank. That'd work well!

1,3,6 and 8 are going to New York on vacation. Where does everybody want to go first? And what Broadway show do they want to see?

Guy, Sandoval, Dugan, and Scott. I'm going with Les Miserables. And they probably want to go to Central Park and beat up muggers! Except Sandoval, who wants to go to the UN building as part of his most current scheme.

5 and 10 are going to take part in a Ren Fair. What parts are they going to try to get?

Fox and Teela. Teela will probably try for jouster, Fox can go for Queen Elizabeth. She aims high.

D asks:

Time to form Voltron
1 through 5
-who forms the feet and legs?
-Who forms the arms and torso?
-And who forms the head?


Hmm, I'll go with Barbara for the head (smartest!), Guy and Sandoval for arms (they don't really mesh with Hunk and Lance, but well, Guy likes punching things, and both have arm-related powers), Jean and Fox get the legs.

The head of a major comic book company has gone nuts, and 9 has to step in. What major summer crossover idea will 9 come up with?

Battle of the Bands! 80s style!

Anonymous asks:

Let's see... all of the ten are going to beat the bejeezus out of DC Editorial for having yet another beloved non-caucasian legacy hero killed. Who gets there first, and who can inflict them the most amount of pain?

Sandoval. Because no one does revenge scheming like he does.

D asks:

Number 6 is asked to speak at the Sentry's funeral. What does he/she say?

Sentry was totally his first time too.

4 has to cook a meal for 8. What is the dish and what wine does 4 pick?

Shish-kabob. For obvious reasons. And something appropriate (I know not my wines.) Barbara does have taste.

9 runs into a blue police box and an odd fellow. "What to go exploring?" is asked. Does 9 follow?

Yes! If Billie Piper can do it, so can Jem!

10 finds out William Shatner has been cast as the lead in the biography of 10's life. How does 10react?

I think Teela will be very confused. But I imagine she WOULD like Captain Kirk.

2 falls into a wormhole. Which low budget Candian sci-fi tv does 2 end up on?

Hmm. A psychic redhead who merges with cosmic space aliens? Let's go EFC. Maybe she and Ha'gel can give Liam a baby brother or sister.

Bigger challenge for 5:
-Making small talk at the Summers family reunion


Fox is pretty clever. They can talk schemes and how to thwart sinister corporate billionaires. Always good to know what the adversary is doing. Also long lost relatives.

-talking politics with Green Arrow and Hawkman while tied up to a death trap?

I'm sure Fox would fake neutrality and then help Xanatos use everything they say against them later. :-)

6 Comments:

  • At May 14, 2010 5:19 AM, Blogger K. D. Bryan said…

    Hahaha, this was awesome! :)

    I like to imagine Horatio and Babs mixing up their glasses and Babs getting tetchy because hers are prescription.

    Also, the thought of Scott and Guy butting heads before just getting the most simple, delicious dish possible out with military precision tickles me. For some reason, I picture a lot of gourmet grilled cheeses with ham.

    And Dum Dum Dugan singing Bette Midler songs is an image that will haunt my dreams.

     
  • At May 14, 2010 3:21 PM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Hilarious as usual. And by God, there ARE a lot of redheads!

     
  • At May 14, 2010 11:45 PM, Anonymous Devin McCullen said…

    This was great. Thanks!

    I swear to god I almost asked the Voltron question.

    And just so you know, there's 3 outfielders on a baseball team, that's what you were missing.

     
  • At May 15, 2010 10:54 PM, Blogger notintheface said…

    I would have figured Horatio's signature trait would be his Sunglasses of Justice.

     
  • At May 16, 2010 1:51 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Dude. The Sunglasses are their own character. They can't be relegated to a mere 'trait'.

     
  • At November 26, 2011 6:43 AM, Anonymous Wilfrid said…

    I totally match with anything you have written.
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