Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Thursday, July 14, 2011

A Meme, A Meme

And now...a meme!

Here is my list of characters!

1) Guy Gardner (DC)
2) Dick Grayson (DC)
3) Cassandra Cain (DC)
4) Alan Scott (DC)
5) Lois Lane (DC)
6) Aunt Harriet (Batman the TV show)
7) Moira MacTaggart (Marvel)
8) Hank Pym (Marvel)
9) Lion-O (Thundercats)
10) Princess Allura (Voltron, 80s version)

A heavy DC edition this time! This should be fun. So...let's begin!

Seangreyson asks:

1,2,4,6,9 and 10 are all close friends. 4 and 6 just broke up. 6 invites 1, 2, 9 and 10 to go on a ski trip at a cabin on Hoth, but specifically excludes 4.

Who would go on the ski trip with 6 and who would stay home with 4?

Hmm, we have Guy, Dick, Alan, Aunt Harriet, Lion-O and Princess Allura.

Well, as terrifying as I find the thought of Alan Scott and Aunt Harriet, I am amused that they are sort of age appropriate.

I suspect Guy would go, because ski trips rock, and there's always the chance to go punch yeti. Dick will have to go, because even if they are not the same medium, she's still his aunt. He'd totally angst about being a bad friend though, because that's what he does. Lion-O is kind of shallow and self-centered, so he'd go, and then have an eye-opening experience where he learns that being a loyal friend is better than transitory pleasures (complete with lecture from Tigra or Cheetara, heh). Princess Allura is a nice girl and probably too busy risking her life, as sole governing figure of her planet, to come along.

If the space ship they're traveling on breaks down in an isolated part of the galaxy, would 4 come rescue them?

Of course he would, he's Alan Scott. He'd totally stare at them with the weight of his disapproving glare while he did though. And Dick would angst about needing to be rescued in space.

Willow-Bee the Cat asks:

1 and 10 take over the planet Earth. How and why? Were they under mind control or just bored one day? How were they successful when so many others weren't?

Hmm, Guy and Princess Allura. To be honest, I don't really see that working out. They were probably under mind control, but it's always possible that Guy just got bored. They're successful because the Princess is likeable and charming, and Guy punches anyone who gets in the way.

It falls apart as soon as Guy says something obnoxious enough to the Princess that it breaks her out of her trance. I give it about ten minutes.

5 and 7 are the only ones left who can save Earth from 1 and 10's possibly nefarious rule. Why are they the only ones who are left to oppose 1 and 10 (or possibly the only ones who care enough to free earth)? Do they succeed? Do they fail? Or do 1 and 10 convince them to join the figurative Dark Side?

Lois Lane and Moira McTaggart. They're probably the only ones left because they have no superpowers and because they're awesome. They succeed through the power of bad publicity.

2 and 4 accidnetally get married in Las Vegas. What happens next? Do they go straight for the divorce or do they even consider trying to make it work.

Well, they do have something in common, being Gothamite heroes. But Alan's no cradle robber. They'd stay married just long enough for Bruce to find out and disapprove strongly. Alan might awkwardly offer to introduce Dick to Obsidian.

Dick would angst about his (third?) failure at marriage. Heh.

3 has gone too far and 9 must reign 3 in before it's too late. What did 3 do and why? And why is 9 the one to attempt to bring 3 to their senses rather than somebody else?

Cassandra Cain and Lion-O. That's an awkward combination. Especially since Lion-O's not really that...competent? I mean, let's face it, Tigra and Panthro do most of the actual WORK on that team. The only reason Lion-O's useful at all is that sword.

Maybe that's it. Mumm-Ra possesses Cass, and Lion-O does that Thundercats HOOOOO! thing and deprograms her. It's the only possible solution, because dude. She'd whip his ASS.

6 ends up stuck with a baby (through a one night stand? a baby on the doorstep? cousin's sisster's stepaunt's kid they're watching as a favor?)and 8 steps in to help. Did 6 call 8 in desperation? Did 8 see the car wreck of a situation coming and step in to help before anybody got hurt? What sort of misadventures do 6 and 8 have in the world of childcare? What happens when the baby gets sent to whichever responsible abult after a couple weeks? Or, what do they do if they end up keeping and raising the child?

Okay, well. Aunt Harriet and a baby is not as comedic as some. Hank Pym helping to raise it though, comedy gold. I'm not sure why Hank would step in, unless the baby is possibly one of Ultron's. (He somehow managed Victor after all, and Vision's fathered children, kinda. So it could happen?)

Aunt Harriet will do a good enough job (and she'll have Alfred to help), though I'm sure there will be occasional shrinking and-or killer robot relative hijinx thanks to Hank. I'm not sure she'll keep the child or not, but I know one thing. She's not letting Bruce drag THIS one god knows where to go "fishing!"

1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 end up on the reality show the Bachelor with Batman as the bachelor (some sort of superhero themed season?) What happens?

Okay, so Guy, Dick, Cass, Alan and Lois. Um. Awk-ward. I'm assuming we're talking about Bruce-as-Batman here, anyway. Well. Yeah. I think Lois wins by default. Not so much because she's a woman as the fact that she's neither spiritually or legally related to him, old and metahuman, or Guy Gardner. She's probably doing it to make Clark jealous anyway, so it wouldn't go anywhere.

But at least he wouldn't have to date Guy Gardner.

Dick would probably angst about the whole thing.

6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 attend some sort of charity bachelor auction and pool their resources to buy a date with Captain America. And good old Steve, being the sort of man he is decides to give each of them a seperate date rather than make them go on a group date with him. How do the dates go? Does anybody go back for a second (or maybe third) date?

Aw. Steve. <3 Okay, so we're looking at Aunt Harriet, Moira, Hank Pym, Lion-O, and Princess Allura. I think the dates will go okay, actually. For Aunt Harriet, he'll take her to a nice formal tea, and maybe an art gallery. For Moira, he'll let her examine his super-serumed blood, and maybe go out for coffee. For Hank, he'll probably end up punching Ultron (though to be honest, I'm not sure Hank would notice that it's not a standard old-school Avengers meeting), he and Lion-O would go adventuring, while he might help Princess Allura train, and then have a nice meal discussing the ins and outs of governmental responsibility. Everyone would come back for a second date, man. It's CAPTAIN AMERICA.

Finally, 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 are playing capture the flag against 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10. What happens?

Hmm. Guy, Cass, Lois, Moira and Lion-O against Dick, Alan, Aunt Harriet, Hank Pym, and Princess Allura.

You know, honestly? I'm not sure WHO would win this line up. It would be kind of awesome though. I think I'd give the edge to team 2, if only because team 1 doesn't really have any full on strategists.

I like to think they pair off for fights. Guy vs. Alan (I love Guy, but I suspect Alan would take him. He's awesome that way.) Cass vs. Dick (Cass would win) for the others, I'd probably pair Aunt Harriet with Lion-O. She'd win, because he's a little boy at heart.

Hank will probably shrink himself or someone else to get passed Team 1's defense and that'll be how they actually win. Guy would enjoy all the childish size jokes he could make. And Dick will angst about how Batman would plan it better. Heh.

D asks:

The Misfits are holding audtions. 1,2,3,4, and 5 try out. Who makes the cut and what instrument do they play?

Hmm: Guy, Dick, Cass, Alan, and Lois. Well, I think Guy and Lois could definitely pull off the bitchy attitude. I imagine Lois would sing and Guy would be on the keyboards. He just seems to be a keyboard kinda guy.

Cass is probably too nice, and there is the whole not really prone to talking thing, and Alan's probably a little too old for the target audience. (He could maybe provide special effects.)

Dick could probably make the cut, since every band needs eye-candy. (And I think in my spree of Grayson-reading, I saw something about a guitar). He'd still angst about it.

Uh-oj, it was Reed's turn to cook dinner and the rest of the FF came down with food posioning. 1 through 10, who does get to replace the team?

Eek. Well. We need team players used to a family type environment, and a variety of abilities. I guess I'll go with:

Guy - he's mouthy, and used to antagonistic siblingy relationships, and GL energy's a good substitute for forcefields.
Dick and Cass - The Batclan's a less...functional family, but it still works. No powers, but she's a ninja, he's an acrobat (and therefore somewhat flexible!), and every team needs an angst factory.
Lion-O can round out the team. He's a kid at heart, but he does at least have a nifty sword?

2 is scouted by the Avengers, HAMMER, and the Runaways. Which team do they join?

Hmm. Well. The Runaways would be awesome, but he's too old, and he'd probably be too positive an older influence, so that's out. Hammer would not suit him. So probably Avengers. He's done the JLA thing, so it shouldn't be too much of a stretch.

Sally Floyd tells 3 they are a bad American because they don't use Facebook. The rebuttal?

Cassandra's a nice girl, so she'd probably just walk away. But I like the thought of Sally doing it when Cass is all crazy Navajo-reading assassin, so she gets punched in the throat. Heh.

kiragecko asks:

2 and 4 find they have an alternate reality baby. Who do they get to babysit? How messed up is that poor child going to grow up to be?

Wow, you guys really like 'shipping Dick and Alan don't you? Well, Alan's kids are a bit screwed up, but he didn't actually get to raise them. Dick's pretty good with Damian (and even Tim probably would have been a lot more fucked up without Dick around), and Alfred would help, so the kid actually has a fighting chance of growing up sane(ish).

As long as he keeps it away from Bruce.

10 finds 6 and 8 happily shopping for clothes. Is 10 immediately checking them for robotic off switches/mind control devices or is this completely normal?

Princess Allura catches Aunt Harriet and Hank Pym shopping for clothes. I think that'd probably be fairly normal. Well at least for Aunt Harriet. But even crazy Hank Pym needs a new labcoat once in a while.

D asks:

3 wakes up between 9 and 6. 3's response?

Cassandra wakes up between Lion-O and Aunt Harriet. That seems like a very unlikely set of events. I suspect she'd get her bearings, and after determining that neither are a threat, she'd roll over and go back to sleep.

4 is offered a chance to direct a movie based on an 80's cartoon. Which one do they pick?

Hmm. Alan Scott's an interesting choice for this one. I'm not really sure what I think he'll go with. Maybe Smurfs, since they have good community values. Alan always seemed like the sort of guy who'd appreciate that kind of thing.

who would be better 10 playing 6 or 6 playing 10?

Princess Allura or Aunt Harriet. Well, I think comedically, Aunt Harriet piloting the Blue Lion has some potential, but for practical purposes, I suspect Princess Allura would have an easier time with Harriet's domestic skills than vice versa.

Jeff R asks:

3 and 7 swap bodies, but have to try to keep this secret. Which of the others is the first to figure it out?

Hmm, Cassandra Cain and Moira McTaggart. I suspect that secret won't last very long at all. I'd go with Lois figuring it out first though, she IS a reporter after all. Just hope neither of them puts on a pair of glasses. :-P

2, 5, and 10 are the last three people alive on Earth. Is humanity doomed? (Assume that there is a silver-age gender-swapping device available to them at need.)

Dick, Lois and Allura. I think they'd manage. I'm not 100% sure Allura's human, so they might not be compatible, but I think Dick and Lois could make something work. (He does seem to have a thing for bossy older women after all.) He might be a bit young for her, but he is pretty at least.

And she could yell at him when he starts to angst!

Bizarro versions of 1 and 4 are created, and immediately get into a fight with each other. What's the fight about?

Bizarro Guy vs. Bizarro Alan Scott. Hmm. Are we sure Bizarro Guy's not a pacifist?

Allowing for the premise, I'm going with...cupcakes.

6 and 8 use a time-viewer to look at the time when they were small children, and are suprirsed to see both younger versions together. What are they doing?

Okay, for some reason this meme seems intent on having Aunt Harriet and Hank Pym as BFFs. That's weirdly awesome to me. I suspect they're working together to design a robot who's capable of cooking and watching children.

Dude, that's the real story of Ultron's creation.

SallyP asks:

2 and 8 have inexplicably become addicted to television cooking shows, and insist on making home-made flan. 1,3 and 5 hate flan, and insist on creme brulee instead. Who gets hit in the head with the flan and who gets burned by the brulee torch?

Hmm. Dick and Hank want to make flan. Guy, Cass and Lois hate flan.

Dick gets burned by the torch, because he seems to get injured ALL THE TIME in his comic. And pretty much every crossover event ever.

Since Hal Jordan isn't here, I guess Guy gets the blow to the head. Hal had better never hear about it. Heh.

D asks:

7 has to cook a surprise cake for 3. what kind of job do they do, and what kind of cake it is?

Hmm. Moira makes a cake for Cass. She'll do a good job, of course. And it'll be chocolate. It's not a funny answer, but the poor girl deserves a cake for once.

4 has been given lemons. What do they do with them?

He makes lemonade. Awesomely.

8 decides to Inc. him/her self and open franchises across the globe. 1 through 10 are picked. What countries are they assigned?

Hmm, which Inc. are we talking here? Ant-Man? Giant-Man? Maker of homicidal robots?

Do planets count? If not, then I'll go:

Guy: France. Because Guy vs. stereotypical french people sounds really amusing
Dick: Maybe somewhere in Eastern Europe? He can always trace his heritage at the same time.
Cass: Hong Kong, considering she's already kinda doing that already.
Alan: I'd never make Alan be anywhere but America, man.
Lois: Themyscira. She's been there before after all! If that doesn't count then maybe Australia. I always thought Lois would enjoy Australia.
Aunt Harriet: England, she and Alfred could go for a trip.
Moira: Scotland! Duh!
Lion-O: Kenya? There are lions in Kenya, right?
Princess Allura: Since she's bastardized Japanese animation, might as well send her to Japan. Heh.

10 is removed from history and everything sucks for some reason. How is 2 different, and do they try to restore the world?

Um. Hmm. This one doesn't really work, does it? Seeing as how she's from a future setting on another planet. But allowing for a strange butterfly effect (one of her mice travels through time and causes the bat to fly in front of Bruce's window)...

He'd probably have still been an orphan, but Bruce might not have seen the bat, and therefore might have gone with THERAPY instead of craziness. So Dick, if he did get adopted, would have a chance at an actually sane upbringing.

Sadly, he'd probably change it back. And angst about it.

5 find a big hammer. What does 5 do with it?

Oh, Lois would have FUN.

D asks:

An utterly insane man has just been appointed to run a top secret spy group, despite being a felon. What does 7 do about it?

Moira McTaggart would not take that lying down. She has a laboratory and she's not afraid to use it.

An old woman is dying and 6 is offered a chance to save her if 6 will agree to give their marriage/relationship. Do they take the offer?

Let's be fair, even as dithery as she is, Aunt Harriet is much too smart for that.

4 VS exploding kolas. Who wins?

Alan doesn't take shit from exploding koalas, man. Ever.

Punk version: it's 4 in the morning. Where is 3?

On patrol. Duh.

Does 9 dreaming dreams of a life of crime? Does it it include smoking, drinking, acting cool?

He's mentally a ten year old boy, so totally man.

would 2 treat 10 like a fool?

Nah, Dick's pretty good with women. He'd probably hit on her, but he'd be nice about it.

For most of the time, would 1 stay on his/her own?

Nah, Guy is a social animal. If nothing else, he'll go annoy Hal.

D also brings a Ramones version:

Can 1 get to Rockaway Beach?

Of course, man!

Jackie and Judy both got cut for cutting now they're going to summer school. 2's response?

He would angst, of course!

what does 3 want?

A pony?

A new principal has just banned rock and roll. How does 4 overcome her, and is the school blown up by the end?

Alan never struck me as the pro-Rock and Roll type. But he IS a Lantern, so shit probably will go down.

did someone put something in 5's drink?

God help them if they did.

is 6 going to get psycho therapy? (and the previous post, the marriage is given up/erased)

Aunt Harriet is sane enough to know when she needs help, so yes.

is 7 howling at the moon? Did they take the law and throw it away?

No and yes.

does 8 remember rock and roll radio?

The man invented Ultron, what do you think?

is 9 a substitute for another guy?

Only in my heart.

Does 10 look pretty tall? What is 10's fine looking suit really made out of?

Yes. Mice hair. That's why she lets them stay around.

D asks:

A madman in a blue box appears out of nowhere. Does 2 go with him?

Dick's spent his entire teenaged and adult life following a crazy man dressed like a bat. He'll go in that box and like it damnit. And angst.

Ununnilium asks:

8 and 6 take a trip back to the '80s and join a famous rock band of the era. Which one? Which character plays their music backwards in the present day and hears the secret message saying how to rescue them?

Hee, Hank Pym and Aunt Harriet again! I would totally read a comic about them. That said, I've no idea what rock band they'd be good with. Was Genesis in the 80s?

I'll go with Guy playing the music backwards. Not intentionally, just to annoy everyone else. Dick'll be the one to hear the message and rescue his AU aunt.

How much wood could 7 chuck if 7 could chuck wood?

Moira could chuck a chuck of wood if Moira could chuck wood.

2 and 5's kid from the future travels back to stop some evil force. What are they like in personality, looks, and powers?

Dick and Lois's kid. Huh. Well, probably no powers. But with Dick's looks, Lois's attitude, and Bat-connections, that kid would be pretty badass. Just saying.

10 rescues 8 and 6, but overshoots on the way back and becomes an honorary member of the Silver Age Legion of Superheroes. What is his code name, and who does he hook up with?

Hmm. Princess Allura in the Legion of Superheroes. Most of the Legion names are pretty standard. So it'd be something Girl. Maybe Robot-Lion Girl? It doesn't sound any stupider than Matter-Eater Lad.

1 and 3 get Amalgamated by Dark Access. What's the resultant character like?


4 and 9 go on a date. Which restaurant for dinner, which movie, and do they do anything afterwards?

Um. Alan Scott and Lion-O. Well, Alan's not really snooty, and Lion-O's a ten year old boy in the body of a giant lion man. So I'm going with Bennigans, the Lion King, and a trip to the zoo.

And we are done! I hope you enjoyed. Personally, I still think the crossover adventures of Hank Pym and Aunt Harriet would be the best thing ever!

Good night!


  • At July 15, 2011 9:53 PM, Anonymous D said…

    Awesome stuff, as always, but you left off the last batch of questions I asked. Was I too late?

  • At July 16, 2011 1:18 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Actually, I just missed them when doing these. So the last questions are in their own post. :-) Check the top of the blog!

  • At July 16, 2011 7:13 PM, Blogger Ununnilium said…

    Personally, I think Alan Scott's 80's cartoon remake would be GI Joe. He'd do them as a realistic, yet still heroic portrayal of the military. It'd be a box-office flop but a critical success.

    And I would totally read a book about Dick and Lois's future kid. I'm thinking something along the lines of Spider-Girl, only not so '90s.

  • At July 17, 2011 12:36 PM, Blogger SallyP said…

    Hilarious as usual. I have to admit that number 3, just cracked me up.


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