Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Sentinel of Liberty 5 and 6

I was rereading Captain America - Sentinel of Liberty today. It's one of my favorite miniseries. I think my favorite part is issue 5 and 6, specifically the story involving the Tales of Suspense-era Cap/Iron Man team up.

While I actually do like Tony as a character most of the time, but I'm afraid Tony falls into the same niche for me that Wesley Dodds does. Essentially, I'm most happy mocking the fuck out of him.

The best thing about this particular story for me is that it really carries through the two major traits of both characters that I've taken away from mainlining a cartload of 1960s Tales of Suspense issues at once: Cap is sweet and earnestly adorable, and a flipping moron.

Yeah, yeah, tech genius aside, when it comes to EVERYTHING else, he was an idiot. When you even have Happy fucking Hogan thinking, in one issue, that all of Tony's problems with Pepper would be solved if he'd just fucking TELL her he's Iron Man, you've reached the point of rampant stupidity. He spends all his time angsting about how he couldn't make her love a man on the verge of death, even though she's clearly infatuated with Iron Man, who as a superhero could die any fucking time anyway. He angsts about how she loves him and hates Iron Man, or vice versa, as the stupid bint can't seem to make up her fucking mind...

But I digress. Besides, Pepper's cool in the movie and even in that horrible animated movie so I can't bitch too much. And why the hell did Tony never invent a portable charger? Or at least a car adapter?

But that's a rant for another day.

Anyway, true to form, in this miniseries, Tony is at his breathtakingly stupidest. The entire story focuses on his internal monologue a few days after Cap's unfrozen. He has the bright idea to take Cap to Brooklyn to see all the changes. When Tony watches Cap being visibly bothered by the changes, he starts monologuing about how he thinks asking Cap to join the Avengers was a mistake and how the guy's out of touch.

What is his evidence for this, you may ask? It's because Cap is bothered by the fact that his hometown looks nothing like he remembered and because *shock among shocks* Steve CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT DAY OF THE WEEK IT IS.

If you think I'm lying:

Um. Tony. Sweetie. *I* can barely keep straight what day of the week it is. And *I* wasn't in an iceberg "a couple of days ago".

He then goes on about how Cap's likely to get himself killed. Naturally this leads to an attack by robots who then mind control Iron Man. Iron Man and Cap fight.

This leads to this monologue by the way:

"Even with one bootjet crippled by the robots, I figured I was more than a match for one disoriented acrobat wrapped in a flag."

...No. Sweetie. You're really not. :-)

This leads to asskickery:

I'm only posting this page for the part where he apologizes to Tony for breaking his deflectors even though Tony is currently mind controlled and trying to physically harm him. And is a moron.

Aw. Steve is adorable.

Anyway, the story ends with the robots trying to brainwash Cap, Cap throwing it off with his mad speechifying capability and Tony getting a fucking clue.

Here we see Tony eating crow and rolling up Cap's garbage, while Cap is always gracious:

Aw. The cutest thing is that, at this point in time, Steve probably actually believes Iron Man could take him in a fair fight. Awww.

I'll leave you with one last image taken EXTREMELY out of context.

The commentary pretty much writes itself at this point, doesn't it?

Good night everybody.


  • At July 16, 2008 4:19 AM, Blogger LurkerWithout said…

    Well its not like Tony has got any brighter about anything that isn't buidling stuff. And even then he must have some crazy blind-spots in his design strategys. I mean how many times a year does his tech have to get haXXored for him to really think about decent security?

  • At July 16, 2008 8:20 AM, Blogger Rich said…

    Always liked this book but it never really lived up to its promise for me - and being cancelled pretty much means I guess it did the same for everyone else.

    Oh and Tony? Ass, but likeable ass most of the time!

  • At July 16, 2008 9:10 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Was it actually intended to be an ongoing? I'd actually assumed, given the length (12 issues) and the way everything hanged together on a particular theme, that it had been intended as a maxi-series instead. The ending felt complete, too, rather than rushed like a lot of cancelled ongoings.

    Oh well. Either way I enjoyed it. :-)

    And Tony's definitely likeable. But like Wes Dodds, I have the most fun making fun of his sheer idiocy.

  • At July 16, 2008 9:33 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    I really don't know why I was so surprised by Tony's dickery during Civil War. It isn't unprecedented after all.

    Oh, believe it or not, Tony DID have a way to charge up his armor from a car battery! Too bad the next writer forgot all about it.

  • At July 16, 2008 10:11 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    I remember that! I also remember it being an awfully close call though.

    And you'd think given that he'd now know a battery worked, he'd make something even more convenient/portable to help. But I suppose that'd cut into his wangsting idiotically time. :-P

  • At July 17, 2008 10:15 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    "wangstin idiotically" is a lovely lovely phrase.

  • At July 17, 2008 10:41 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Thank you. I find it seems to suit Tony Stark (especially during Tales of Suspense era) startlingly well.

    Though, to be fair, I still like him a lot more than Nightwing. Tony's angst is at least entertaining.


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