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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Flight of the Jackasses

Okay, given that I'm on a Silver Age Marvel kick at the moment (I do that sometimes.) I had a realization.

See, I was reading some issues of Avengers volume 1 and Tales of Suspense and well...

It's pretty much established. All of the original Avengers are self-centered twits.

One issue that brings this particularly in mind for me is issue 16. If you haven't read issue 16, it's fairly simple. Basically Cap fights Zemo alone on his island. The Avengers, to their credit, kind of want to help, but apparently Cap told them this was something he had to do.

But while he's out there fighting for his life, you have this:

Seriously guys, I'm not begrudging you a vacation, but wouldn't it be polite to wait to discuss it with the guy currently risking his life out there?

For that matter, does Cap actually have a separate residence? All I can think of during Avengers/Tales of Suspense involving Cap asleep takes place at the Avengers Mansion. If this is true, then that makes them even more dickish. "Sorry man, I know you live here and have nowhere else to go, but we need a vacation! Have fun leading some mouthy punk and two of Magneto's ex-lackeys to victory!"

I think what adds insult to injury is that in a team so supposedly equal that they take turns being Chairman, they decide immediately, without the input of the two missing members, that Hawkeye, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are part of the team. Now I'm not saying they're not good members, but it's kind of bad form. Seriously. Cap comes back just in time to see them being sworn in.

I think my favorite part is this, Steve is understandably aghast that the Avengers are disbanding:

You know what, Tony. Shut up. Just shut up. You all joined in fucking issue #1. Cap issue fucking number #4! That's a three issue lead.

This is issue #16, which means counting this issue Cap's been in a grand total of thirteen issues. That's thirteen issues together to your three issue lead. That ratio does not allow you to pull the "well I've been here much longer than you" card. Shut up.

You could have at least offered the man a vacation too. Jackass.

(Edited to fix a fact-checking error. :-))


  • At July 23, 2008 2:21 AM, Blogger LurkerWithout said…

    Ah but he had that really long nap. Thats even BETTER than a vacation...

  • At July 23, 2008 3:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Giant-Man and the Wasp also joined in issue #1, along with the Hulk. But the point is made regardless.

  • At July 23, 2008 4:02 AM, Blogger D.Bishop (aka Mr. Allison Blaire) said…

    Offer Cap a vacation ?

    As far as the Avengers are probably concerned, Cap just got back to work after a 20 year long ice nap, probably a lot more due to floating timelines. He needs to stop goofing off and hold the fort down, especially after they let 3 ex-cons loose and didn't bother to help keep an eye on any of them. God forbid, Hawkeye tries to steal a lamp.

  • At July 23, 2008 6:10 AM, Blogger Scott (The Mad Thinker) Anderson said…

    When Disassembled came out, a bunch of people at the Gay League said that Bendis was a hack because the Avengers would never just quit because things had gone badly for them. I'd just read Essential Avengers #1 with this and another scene where Cap disbanned the Avengers after things got tough. What's great about this scene is the "let's quit while we have the chance" line.

  • At July 23, 2008 7:47 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    lurkerwithout, mr. allison blaire: heheh

    anonymous: duly corrected. :-)

    scott: Well, to be fair, here they're pretty clearly talking about temporary disbanding.

    But I have to admit, while I have a lot of issues with Bendis (pun unintended), the "they'd never quit" argument is pretty silly.

  • At July 23, 2008 7:51 AM, Blogger notintheface said…

    Also, where was Thor in all this? I can imagine him coming back after all this: "What the fucketh?"

  • At July 23, 2008 7:53 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    According to the editorial box he was wrapped up in some "Trial of the Gods." Whatever that means.

  • At July 23, 2008 10:39 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    "The Avengers were self-centered twits".

    Oh, truer words were never spoke. I also love the way that Tony calls Cap "Old Friend" while blathering on about his seniority and desperate need for a vacation. He's not THAT old a friend!

    Of course Marvel characters always call people "Old Friends" after knowing them for twenty minutes, so I guess it's in character after all.


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