Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Okay, reading the Marvel solicits now...

This new sexy female Ultron...promises to be the single awesomest stupid thing Marvel may have ever done.

There are such priceless opportunities here. Runaway's Victor's Dad is now his mom! How will the Vision react?

And we know this will screw with Hank's head something good. His evil robot son, built on his own brainwaves, is now an evil robot daughter. That combined with Ultron's considerable daddy issues promises that this will be messy.

And best of all, it now gives me the chance to make tasteless and offensive jokes about how deep down inside, Hank just wants to feel pretty!



  • At January 17, 2007 9:11 AM, Blogger Flidget Jerome said…

    And let's not forget the reaction of his daughter-brides! Jocasta at least is still out there (and last I heard is currently in the form of a little girl, just to add another dimension of deep wrong to this).

  • At January 17, 2007 9:42 AM, Blogger Sleestak said…

    Bendis just tosses away that great Father/Son dynamic Ultron was all about and ignores the fact that the Bride of Ultron, Alkhema, has brain-pattern recordings of the Avengers. That may show up in the story, and the new Ultron may be a rebuilt Alkhema, but I doubt it.

    Since it is Bendis, can we expect to see Giant-Size What If...Girl-Ultron and Ultimate Vision Were Foxy-boxing Robot Strippers Who Wrestle Every Friday Night In Motor Oil?

  • At January 17, 2007 10:45 AM, Blogger SallyP said…

    You really have to wonder just what is going on over at Marvel. Did they feed all of the editors to the robot sharks?

    Why not just issue a straight jacket to poor Hank right now? Kalinara, stick to Bucky...he's MUCH better adjusted right now!

  • At January 17, 2007 11:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think Bendis just wants to have 80% cast of females so that Cho can draw a bunch of sexualized women posing for the fanboys.

    I must admit though, that hopefully he'll explore the possibilities with all those characters you mentioned Kalinara. That would be much fun that seeing Ultron doing uber evil babe Breast Pose #27 when fighting.

  • At January 17, 2007 1:49 PM, Blogger Doc Hall said…

    If done correctly this could be total genius.

    But somehow I don't think that when Mum tells Kalinara Jnr all about how, back in the day Ultron was a guy, she'll be packed off to the assylum.

    Also does the cover remind anyone of Athena being born fully formed from the head of Zeus? Or is it time I was packed off to the nut house?

  • At January 17, 2007 3:10 PM, Blogger Ununnilium said…

    Well, Penance is still stupider. This one is pretty close, though.

  • At January 17, 2007 3:25 PM, Blogger Zaratustra said…

    > Runaway's Victor's Dad is now his mom!

    Your mother! Your father! Your mother and your father!

  • At January 17, 2007 4:35 PM, Blogger R.Nav said…

    Holy crap! That is even more awesome than Ultimate Falcon having the hots for Ultimate Vision... whom he MET when Vision was a male.

  • At January 17, 2007 7:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That new female Ultron looks a bit like the Wasp...more psycho-trauma for Hank?

    Kalinara, I'm surprised you didn't say anything about the Marvel Adventures Avengers cover and solicitation: "...that's love in the air, baby...Ego style" Oh, my! :-)

  • At January 17, 2007 8:42 PM, Blogger Carla said…

    Hank has issues with women. This goes without saying (or showing a big boobied metal robot).

  • At January 17, 2007 9:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    zqvWell I must say that so long as Ultron has a reason for becoming a woman I'll be ok with it. Even if it's just "I think I need boobs."

    We all know Hank is fucked, the man's best friend's an ant colony after all, so that would work.

    But if they go Ultimate Vision on me and say "Ultron is a girl now cause... BOOBS!" I'll kill somebody.

    But hey, you just lay off Marvel though! They finally got their heads out of their ass's and gave Namor a book. And I LIKE the fact it has a Turner cover. Namor is one of the few characters who's supposed to be pointy.

  • At January 19, 2007 12:12 PM, Blogger Jeff Rients said…

    Also does the cover remind anyone of Athena being born fully formed from the head of Zeus?

    *raises hand*

  • At February 13, 2007 10:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Let us see now,...Many, many years ago Hank Pym made Ultron, his son, who tried to do the horizontal electric slide with Janet Pym nee Van Dyne, who for all intents and purposes was Ultron's mother, which I suppose also makes her Ultron's mistress, and what with Jocasta being Ultron's...we'll say "mate" since I can't think of a more fitting term, and now that Ultron's a girl, if he adopts Jocasta (assuming that Flidget is right and Jocasta's now a little girl), then that would make Hank Pym his own grandpa, thereby completing the circle of bizarre incestuous overtones in this freaking relationship that's been going on for, like, 30-some-odd years.

    There, I've just made sense of why this is being done: so Hank Pym can lay claim to having the most digusting/surreal/compeletly delerious relationship of all time with his archnemesis. You don't have to thank me.


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